Where Would I Be Without You (15 page)

"I'm only doing this because I love you.  That
, and the fact that if I didn't take this out to the dumpster on my way out, you would have pulled it out of the trash and started on the yellows."

My aunt knew me all too well.  However,
I knew I would want to run right out and buy another bag.  The only thing stopping me was that I was in desperate need of a shower, and my hairy legs could out hair Sasquatch.

It had been three days since I saw
Mason, and work thought I had the flu.  Wally Woo spent an hour listening to me cry and babble then told me I had not called in a sick day in over six months, vacation days excluded, and he would put me down for the flu if I promised to get all caught up later this week on paperwork.  This was not part of my grow up and act mature now that you are thirty plan, not to mention Mason had quit trying to reach me by text or phone as I had not returned one single text or message.

Th
en as I watched my aunt set the bag of trash by my door, I knew I would not be dumpster diving in my own kitchen trash can.  However, I would take a shower and visit the local gas-n-go.  "By the way."  She chimed in as she pointed to the dark sheets I had duct taped up on my big window that looked directly into my neighbor, slash super, slash heartthrob gone awry.  "What gives?"

"He gives.  He
turns on the heat like a burning fire and then takes me to meet his family, where I am not grown up enough, or educated enough, for his father.  Then he tries to soothe it over after he has gone back to his family, after he took me home because I did not want to spend another minute with his family Sunday brunch being judged.  I decided I wanted to slow things down.  Then, work is giving me collage classes to shut mom up.  Then I come home from a broken-down car on Monday morning's rush hour to witness that he's got more than one candy in his trick or treat bag, if you know what I mean.  I happen to see him kissing some stupid blonde woman, no offense, but you are not a natural; you choose to be blonde, and you are not stupid either.  So, this hot looking chick is kissing him, and I was stuck staring at them thinking, well shit.  By the way, how was the Bahamas and why didn't you take me as a birthday gift bee-ouch?"  Everything I just rambled out in incomplete, nonfunctioning sentences, hopefully made sense to my aunt who had no idea what had happened in my life in the last week and half, other than she caught Intel on my birthday fiasco at the restaurant.

My aunt's laughter filled the
room, and she answered with a simple tone.  "I see.  Bahamas rocked, and it's hard to take you when I'm taking a man."  She winked at me with a vivacious smile, and then she went over, stood up on the window seat, yanked all the duct tape down, tossing the sheet on the floor.

I covered my eyes and squinted from the sunlight that flooded the room and growled.  "What the hey?"  My head went under my blanket.

"Stop sulking."  She sounded motherly.  "Crying and grieving over a man is one thing.  Hiding away and stuffing M&M's down your throat like it's no tomorrow is another.  No guy is worth it.  Even if you're married."  Then she climbed down, tossed the duct tape in the new trash bag she put in my kitchen trash can for me.

I peeked out of my blanket and glared.  "That's easy for you to say.  You've had three husbands."  I caught the hurt look that immediately crossed her
face, and I felt bad.  It wasn't her fault she had bad choices in men.

"And honey, not a single one of them was the charm.  I'm going for number four.  He's looking
prospectively handsome.  However, I need to borrow your new tan cowgirl boots you bragged about buying on Facebook for a fraction of their value.  It's not really smart to post your shopping award picture of shoes and great prices where your broke aunt can see.  It only makes me find a reason to borrow them."  She smiled at me as she bent down to pick up the bench cushion off the floor and set it on the window bench.

I caught myself peeking
towards his window to see if he was there, but he wasn't.  "Well.  Gee.  I thought you came to see me because you love me."  I grumbled.

"I do love you.  That is why I am here, hauling your happy ass off to the shower
, and telling you that no man is worth it.  The boots is just an excuse to wear on this date with my new cowboy.  I met him at the gym."  Her eyes twinkled.

"Real cowboy or wanna be a cowboy?"  I teased.  I got up from under my blanket, threw it off to the side and clicked the TV off with the remote.  I had on the same sleep shirt I had on twenty-four hours
ago; only a lot of food smears and tearstains that made it look as if I had ran it through a sink disposal run.

"Darling.  He's real.  Like wear the wranglers with a strain real.  Like dually truck and cowboy hat real.  Like works on a ranch and likes to get dirty in the barn real."

"Then what the heck is he doing at the gym, picking up women?"  I started for my room, and she followed behind.  I might as well get her the boots, because I had no intention of wearing them anytime soon.

I pointed to my closet and then headed to my bathroom as my aunt went on about
how they met the first time when she was called out for a sick horse.  My aunt is a large animal veterinarian who works on contract for the zoo.  "See, he manages a ranch.  I got a call from their regular vet to take a replacement call.  I usually don't go to places like this.  Any ways, I happen to mention to him about the cruise and getting in shape in a month.  This was over a month ago.  I didn't tell you because, well, it was just bad luck to talk about a man until things are a bit more under way."  I laughed internally at the fact that my aunt and I shared the gift of gab, the brook of babble; we talked a lot and talked in circles.  I thought of how I had been babbling about Mason and wondered if that is why the relationship was cursed.

My aunt kept right on talking while my brain went right on thinking.  "So one day, he shows up at my gym.  Not like he doesn't get enough of a workout at the ranch.  I was sure he was the
re to see me as he had called my office three times looking for me and asked my secretary what time I go to the gym.  We went out for a drink, next thing I know, I've got him sharing a cabin with me on this cruise four weeks later.  Sorry I missed your birthday family party.  He was worth the miss."  Then she winked at me.  "If you know what I mean."

I did.  And what sucks, is I knew what if felt like to
fall hard and fast for a man and then have things come to a complete halt.  If only I had taken him into my room to change that morning, we would never have made it to his family brunch.  Things would be far different right now.

I watched her grab the boots out of the box and holler over her shoulder as she started to walk out of my room.  "Take a shower. 
Get back to work and that silly now that I am thirty plan.  I'd tell you to burn it but you my love are so into lists and planning that I know you can't do it any other way.  You need to get on with life.  I'll call you this weekend."

As I heard my
apartment door close, I figured that I would not get my boots back until I went to her place and got them back.  I also figured, my aunt was right.  I needed to get on with things.

When I got out of the shower, there was a
text on my cell from my aunt.  It simply read: Show him what he's missing out on and find that other fish in the sea.  There are plenty.

Well, at least to my aunt there was.  She was not very
particular about the men she dated.  If they had muscles, testosterone and nice eyes, she was sold.  I was a bit more particular about my men.

Or was I? 
Come to think of it, Mason was the first man who was from any type of 'breeding stock' as my mom would call it.  Usually, I just went for the muscles and testosterone and a pulse.  Didn't even matter if the eyes made my heart go pitter-patter.  However, Mason's eyes did.  They made me want to stare into them and swoon, which I had done the entire week we were together.

Just then a knock at my door, startled me.  I wondered who it could be.  I went
over, peeked through the peephole, and jumped back, causing my towel to fall down.  I wasn't only naked in the physical sense, but I felt naked in the mental sense.  Behind my door was the one man who had made me think everything would be all right, and then he dumped me.

"Just a minute."  I hollered out.  I ran into my room
and threw on a pair of jeans commando, a black bra and black tee shirt.  I ran a comb through my hair and took two seconds to put on mascara and raspberry colored lip-gloss.  When I ran back to the apartment door, I didn't have to open it.  He used his superintendent key to open it himself.  He was leaning against my closed door with a sexy smile and sneaky look to his eyes.

"I guess I should have used the deadbolt."  I joked
, partially happy he was there.  Actually ecstatic, but then the memory of the naked blonde woman in his place flooded back to me like a bad dream.

"I can get it open with that on."  He took a step forward
with the same look I felt until my memory came back.  He had intentions, and they were sultry.

"I see.  So how's blond
ie?"  My tone could not have been any more snide or cold.  I felt as if my bad girl side was pulling on one end of my rope screaming who cares about the naked blonde, while my sensible mature side was pulling harder, stronger, screaming at me 'you do you idiot; he cheated on you'.  My internal mental contest was as confused as his face looked right now.

"Who?" 
His confused look did not stop him from taking another step closer.

I put my hand on my hip and cocked it sideways hard, tossed my head back and glared while I
spoke out.  "Unless that was a chicken you were choking with your tongue Monday morning, I'd say you decided to get a bit SERIOUS with some ditzy looking blonde.  In your ROOM!  Where I can SEE!"  So my voice shouted a few words, and my heart was pounding like a jack hammer, while my hands ached to touch him just one more time.

I watched a
n even more confused look cross his face while he seemed to be thinking hard, and then he shook his head sideways back and forth, and laughed lightly.  "Oh that!  That is a complete misunderstanding.  You might actually find it funny."  Then he went quiet while smiling at me like he always did right before he did things to me that made me very happy.

"I would, would I?" 
I couldn't hold back.  I never had that type of controlled restraint.  I walked right past him, opened my door, and turned to push him hard out of my apartment.  He faltered back as he was taken by surprise.  He looked hurt and confused as I slammed the door and locked it with the safety chain.  The whole moment was surreal yet felt justified.

Just
then, I heard a click and the door opened a tad.  "Amber.  I came to talk to you.  Your aunt ran into me unjamming the trash shoot.  Listen.  I know you wanted to slow things down, not stop all together.  Why haven't you bothered to call or text me back?  What's with the dark curtain?"

I took a step back as he opened the door
with some tool that removed the safety chain, and I got full view of his sexy body.  The man looked hot in brown and khaki with his sincere look and sexy smile spreading across this face.  I crossed my arms in front of my body, causing my boobs to crest out of my shirt.  I watched his eyes dart there and light up for a second, so I let my arms down and puffed out a huge breath of air.  "What gives Mason?  I saw you put your tongue down that woman's throat.  I saw your arms go up and yes, I saw her naked body in full view facing me as she went in for a kiss.  After that, I could not watch anymore.  I guess you're just the type of guy who likes to have his dating choices in multiple colors."  I was referring to hair, but his questionable look grew with confusion.

"I don't know what you saw."  He took a step inside my apartment and closed the door.  "However, I can guarantee that I did not sleep with the woman you are talking about. 
Sarah, by the way, is her name.  6D. Three floors up from me in my building..."

I didn't let him finish.  "I don't give a crap what her name is or where she lives.  You have the gull to
drop me here all frustrated after your family event, then not contact me until it's late in the evening.  Get out of my apartment.  While you are at it.  Stay out of my life."

This is where my no
good bad common sense anger kicks in.  I don't know if there is a man alive that can deal with my temper.  At times, I was sure I inherited it from my aunt.  The very reason she is on hunt for number four man to marry.  It's the anger I show to those closest to me, with the exception of my dad and Marion, that gets them all worked up and ready for a fight.

"Amber?"  His voice was soft but his jaw was tense, his eyes
glaring, and he had the look of a man who wanted to yell right back at me.  Then he said it, but it didn't sink in.  "Look.  You got it all wrong.  Sarah came onto me before I had a chance... Listen.  It's not what you think.  Things have gotten a little crazy in my life, and I just needed to think some things through."

"Well think it through while the door is hitting you on the ass."
  I shouted out and pointed to the door with major emphasis on the direction of where my finger was pointing.

"Amber!"  This time his voice was soft
yet it had an edge to it.  "Listen.  You're acting all crazy about this.  Give me a break."