Whisper (10 page)
I
needed air. Needed a break from the crowd and the noise. And, as cute as Dacian was, I needed a break from him too.
needed air. Needed a break from the crowd and the noise. And, as cute as Dacian was, I needed a break from him too.
“Wait for me here?” I smiled, slipping a hand into my hair, making it fuller, poofier, knowing just from looking that he was so besotted with me, he’d do just about anything that I asked at that point.
“I’ll come with you,” he said, moving to follow.
Halted by the finality of my firmly stated, “No.”
He stepped back. Shot me an injured look.
“Please,” I said, resenting the need to lighten my tone but knowing it was necessary. He was nice, he was cute, there was no need to upset him. “I just need a moment alone. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.”
He nodded reluctantly, but it was enough to release me. And though I was tempted to run, I forced myself to walk
as I wound my way through the maze of party guests and found my way out the door.
as I wound my way through the maze of party guests and found my way out the door.
I leaned against the balcony, leaned my head back, and lost myself in the night, hoping the cool air might work a bit of magic by finding a way to cure my confusion—all the strange feelings nagging inside.
I had everything a girl could want, and yet, something felt lacking, missing, though I had no idea what.
I gazed up at the sky, my eyes searching for constellations, easily finding Cassiopeia, Draco, but stumbling when it came to Andromeda.
“Andromeda is right there.”
I stiffened, expecting to find Dacian, and surprised to find a stranger instead.
“How’d you know I was looking for Andromeda?” My eyes moved over him, taking in a swoop of brown hair, bright green eyes, and an odd green object he clenched in his teeth.
“Because Andromeda is your favorite.” He smiled, taking another step toward me.
“And how would you know that?” I asked, my voice more than a little bit testy.
“Good question.” He nodded, pretending to think. “How would I know that?” He moved until he stood right beside me, whispering, “
Think,
Riley. Just close your eyes, block all
this out, and think as hard as you can. How would I know that? Try to remember if you can.”
Think,
Riley. Just close your eyes, block all
this out, and think as hard as you can. How would I know that? Try to remember if you can.”
“I—I don’t know …” I looked all around, suddenly regretting my decision to be out on my own. “And why do you call me Riley?”
“Because that’s your name.”
“My name is Aurelia,” I said, though there was no mistaking the doubt creeping into my voice.
“Is it?” He cocked his head, slipped the green object across his front teeth, and stared at me intently.
“Listen, I don’t know what you …” The words died on my tongue as a beautiful, yellow-haired animal ran up beside me, wagging a fluffy tail with excitement, and happily licking my fingers. “What is it?” I said, unsure if I should be flattered by the beast’s attention, or disgusted by the way it slobbered all over me.
“That’s Buttercup. He’s your dog, and he’s very happy to see you. You’ve been gone a long time, Riley. Too long. We’ve both been very worried about you.”
“Worried? About me? Why would you be worried about me?”
“Because I …” The stranger paused, forced himself to look away for a moment before he retuned to me and started again. “Because it’s
my job
to worry about you.”
my job
to worry about you.”
“Your
job
? What are you, like my guardian angel or something?” I laughed at the thought.
job
? What are you, like my guardian angel or something?” I laughed at the thought.
“I’m your guide. Not quite the same thing, though they do share certain similarities.”
“Do you have any idea how crazy this sounds?” I shook my head, telling myself I should leave, find my way back into the party, and to do it quickly.
But somehow I couldn’t.
Somehow I just remained right there in place.
“Just because something sounds crazy doesn’t make it any less true.” He ducked his head, gazed up at me through a thick row of lashes. “Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith, tune out what you see before you, what other people tell you, and focus on what you know deep down inside your own heart.”
I gazed between the stranger and the beast, then started to turn away, stopped by the sound of his voice when he said, “You’re quite a vision, Riley. Truly.”
My breath hitched, as chills ran over my flesh.
“I can see why you’ve chosen to stay. The first moment I saw you like this, you took my breath away.” He shook his head, ran a nervous hand over his chin. “And now that I’ve said that, I can only hope that when I find a way to break you out of here, you will not remember it.”
I twisted the rings on my hands, unable to remove my
gaze from his. Carefully committing his words to memory, sensing they were far more meaningful than they first seemed—sure that I’d once longed to hear them—though I had no idea who he was.
gaze from his. Carefully committing his words to memory, sensing they were far more meaningful than they first seemed—sure that I’d once longed to hear them—though I had no idea who he was.
Or did I?
I could no longer be sure.
“You know it’s not real, right?” His voice was gentle, his eyes filled with kindness. “You know you have to accept that—you have to find your way out. You can have all this and more. In fact, you are well on your way. You just have to be patient, Riley. It will come. I promise you that. You can have everything you want in the Here & Now—you don’t have to be here.”
That tingly feeling his words had brought, vanished just as quickly. He was wrong. I
did
need to be here. Everything I was depended on it. He had no idea what he was talking about.
did
need to be here. Everything I was depended on it. He had no idea what he was talking about.
“Listen,” I said, my gaze leveled on his, my voice full of venom, “I don’t know who you think you are, but—”
“My name is Bodhi.” He nodded. Then pointing at the beast he said, “I am your guide, Buttercup is your dog, and you are
not
Aurelia, you are Riley. A twelve-year-old Soul Catcher who resides in the Here & Now. You are visiting Rome on assignment. You are meant to find a gladiator named Theocoles and convince him to cross over. You are
not
from this time. This is
not
your home. These people are
not
your friends. And, that is
not
how you look in real life. You are dead. And it’s time you find your way out of here and get on with your afterlife.”
not
Aurelia, you are Riley. A twelve-year-old Soul Catcher who resides in the Here & Now. You are visiting Rome on assignment. You are meant to find a gladiator named Theocoles and convince him to cross over. You are
not
from this time. This is
not
your home. These people are
not
your friends. And, that is
not
how you look in real life. You are dead. And it’s time you find your way out of here and get on with your afterlife.”
Dead?
Dead!
I shut my eyes tightly, fought back the surge of crystalline tears that threatened to pour down my cheeks. Gathering my skirts and shaking my head, I looked at him once more and said, “No!
No
.” Though my voice sounded tired, broken, bearing not a single trace of conviction. “No way. You need to leave. You need to leave
now
—and you need to take your …” I swallowed, regretting the words before they were out. But I had no choice. I was desperate to hang onto Aurelia, and the longer they stayed, the more impossible that would be. “You need to take your smelly beast with you before I scream for help and have you both dragged away.”
No
.” Though my voice sounded tired, broken, bearing not a single trace of conviction. “No way. You need to leave. You need to leave
now
—and you need to take your …” I swallowed, regretting the words before they were out. But I had no choice. I was desperate to hang onto Aurelia, and the longer they stayed, the more impossible that would be. “You need to take your smelly beast with you before I scream for help and have you both dragged away.”
The beast looked at me, its eyes slanting, tail sinking low between his legs, the moment he heard me call him
smelly
. And though the sight saddened me, I didn’t apologize. I needed to be rid of them, find my way back inside, my new life as Aurelia depended on it.
smelly
. And though the sight saddened me, I didn’t apologize. I needed to be rid of them, find my way back inside, my new life as Aurelia depended on it.
“Riley, please—”
Bodhi, the stranger who claimed to be my guide, reached for me, touched me, his fingers circling my wrist, inviting me
to follow—and I almost caved—I almost did, until Messalina appeared out of nowhere, with Dacian standing beside her.
to follow—and I almost caved—I almost did, until Messalina appeared out of nowhere, with Dacian standing beside her.
“Is there a problem?” Her gaze narrowed in anger.
I yanked free of Bodhi’s grip, wiped the warm place on my arm where his fingers had been as though I couldn’t wait to erase every last trace of him.
“Everything’s fine,” I said, stepping forward to take Dacian’s side. “He’s found his way to the wrong party, mistaken me for someone else, but now that he knows the truth, now that he knows I’m
not
the girl he’s searching for, he and his beast will move on. Won’t you?”
not
the girl he’s searching for, he and his beast will move on. Won’t you?”
I narrowed my gaze on Bodhi’s, holding it for as long as I could. My heart plummeting, a sick feeling invading me, fighting the urge to run after them, when he turned and left, dragging the dog along with him.
Messalina, satisfied with their departure, left me in Dacian’s care the moment they were gone. The two of us gazing into the vast night sky, pointing to our favorite constellations—including the one he’d named just for me. And it wasn’t long after that, when he closed his eyes, leaned forward, and kissed me.
W
hen Theocoles fell, the entire Colosseum went silent.
hen Theocoles fell, the entire Colosseum went silent.
I glanced at Dacian, seeing his face go slack, his mouth hang wide, then I glanced at Messalina behind me, noting how she was the only one among us unable to watch.
When Theocoles rolled over and his eyes searched for Messalina’s, the crowd was quick to recover—quick to turn on him and chant, “Kill!”
And when Urbicus lifted his sword, waiting for the emperor’s consent—when Messalina had already fled, unable to watch her lover’s slaughter yet again—when a stranger moved before me and fought to meet my gaze—I dropped Dacian’s hand and leaped, jumped, and fought my way to the center of the arena—overcome by a drive and a strength I didn’t know I possessed.
“
Theocoles!
” I called, knowing I had to move fast as there was no time for subtlety, no time to waste. “Theocoles—stop!”
Theocoles!
” I called, knowing I had to move fast as there was no time for subtlety, no time to waste. “Theocoles—stop!”
I dropped to my knees, knelt right beside him, registering the shocked look on his face as he took in the gruesome state of his sad, headless corpse.
Repeating all the same words I’d said before—but just like before I was unable to get through to him—he resisted me at every turn.
“I will win their favor—they will worship me once more!” He shouted, rising to his feet, reaching for the helmet he sunk onto his head. “I will not be forgotten! I will be remembered! I will gain their admiration again!”
He retrieved his sword, picked up his shield, and I was just about to address him again, when Messalina sprang up behind me and said, “You’re much tougher than you look.” Her gaze burned on mine as she made her approach. “You’re surprisingly resilient for a
young
girl your age.” She stood before me, her words pointed, chosen carefully, and I knew without looking that the magic was gone.
young
girl your age.” She stood before me, her words pointed, chosen carefully, and I knew without looking that the magic was gone.
I was no longer gorgeous, teenaged Aurelia—I was back to being skinny, scrawny, little Riley Bloom. Drowning in a pool of silky blue fabric that hung in unflattering droops, as Messalina shook her head,
tsking
in pity as her tongue clicked the roof of her mouth.
tsking
in pity as her tongue clicked the roof of her mouth.
“What would Dacian say?” she wondered aloud.
Dacian.
I sighed, sure that he wouldn’t say much of anything if he saw me like this. Heck, he wouldn’t even recognize me in my current state—definitely wouldn’t cross rooms just to meet me—much less name constellations after me—never mind attempt to hold my hand and kiss me.
But then a new thought occurred. Something so horrifying I hesitated to voice it.
Forcing the words from my mouth when I said, “I don’t know Messalina, what
would
Dacian say?” I brought my finger to my chin, screwed my lips to the side as though deeply contemplating. “My guess is he would say whatever you make him say, since, after all, he is your creation, isn’t he? As soulless as the guests at your never-ending party, as soulless as the Roman nobles who crowd your uncle’s box.” I stared hard at her, wanting her to know that while it may hurt to realize my boyfriend had been fake, I refused to be devastated. “As soulless as everyone here, but you, and me, and of course, Theocoles.”
would
Dacian say?” I brought my finger to my chin, screwed my lips to the side as though deeply contemplating. “My guess is he would say whatever you make him say, since, after all, he is your creation, isn’t he? As soulless as the guests at your never-ending party, as soulless as the Roman nobles who crowd your uncle’s box.” I stared hard at her, wanting her to know that while it may hurt to realize my boyfriend had been fake, I refused to be devastated. “As soulless as everyone here, but you, and me, and of course, Theocoles.”
“Is that what you think?” she asked, her voice low and soft.
I shrugged. I mean, I wasn’t absolutely sure of it, I had no real proof, but it seemed like a pretty good theory.
“I miss our friendship,” she said, moving right past that, refusing to either confirm or deny. “You and I were such
great friends, weren’t we?” She smiled slowly as though lost in the memory. “Believe me when I say that it was truly the most fun I’ve had in a very long time. There is nothing you can say that will make me think otherwise.”
great friends, weren’t we?” She smiled slowly as though lost in the memory. “Believe me when I say that it was truly the most fun I’ve had in a very long time. There is nothing you can say that will make me think otherwise.”
“You
enchanted
me!” I shook my head, hardly believing what she’d just said. “You had me under your spell. And every time I’d start to find my way out—you brushed your hand across my forehead and put me under again!”
enchanted
me!” I shook my head, hardly believing what she’d just said. “You had me under your spell. And every time I’d start to find my way out—you brushed your hand across my forehead and put me under again!”
“Yeah? So?” She shrugged. “Do you mean to tell me you didn’t enjoy yourself?”
I mashed my lips together, buried my hands in the folds of my skirt, knowing that I had. I’d enjoyed myself far more than I cared to admit. Enjoyed myself so much, I’d chosen to stay, to pretend, even after Bodhi and Buttercup had managed to wake me.
Messalina’s world was alluring, tempting—it allowed me to live my own fairy tale—the kind of life I’d always dreamed of with fancy parties, pretty dresses, and a really cute prince by my side. If I’d stayed under her spell, I’d be happy for a very long time, perhaps even eternity. I’d live the same day over and over again, sure, but it’s not like I’d know the difference.
But while her world was soft and comfortable, offering everything I could ever want, it all came too easy. There was something to be said for patience and hard work.
There was something to be said for realizing your dream the old-fashioned way, by actually earning it.
“It doesn’t have to end, you know?” She smiled, lifted her hand. “You’re the little sister I always wanted, we can return to that easily, just say the word and it’s done.”
My bangs lay limp against my forehead, while the bodice of my dress sagged in the most embarrassing way—providing two very good reasons to give my consent, along with a whole heap of others that lined up behind it. All I had to do was allow her to brush her finger across my brow and I could dissolve into bliss. Though as tempting as it was, still I said, “No.” My face stern, eyes narrowed, so she’d know that I meant it. “Besides, I already have a sister, and someday, we’ll be together again. But for now, I’m content with the memories.”
Memories and occasional visits to the Viewing Room, not to mention Dreamland
. I nodded toward Theocoles, then returned my gaze to hers. “You know I have a job to do. You know I’m here to get through to him—to help him move on.”
Memories and occasional visits to the Viewing Room, not to mention Dreamland
. I nodded toward Theocoles, then returned my gaze to hers. “You know I have a job to do. You know I’m here to get through to him—to help him move on.”
“And you know that I can’t let you do that,” she said, her face sincere with regret.
“Then it seems we’ve reached a stalemate,” I said, watching as she turned away from me in favor of him.
Returning to a scene that had first taken place handfuls of centuries earlier. The one where Theocoles stared in
bewilderment when he followed his own dead body as it was dragged from the arena.
bewilderment when he followed his own dead body as it was dragged from the arena.
My voice calling after her as I said, “It doesn’t end here! I will not give up until I’ve finished what I came for!”
The words falling on deaf ears as the gladiator and his girlfriend disappeared behind the big iron gates.
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