Whisper (13 page)

Darius,
Brin said, but to him alone. Dearra and Carly continued to chatter happily away, plucking pieces of fruit from the tray in front of them. The men, on the other hand, wore an assortment of expressions. Hugh looked angry and frustrated. Daniel appeared apprehensive, his gaze hardly wavering from Darius except for when his eyes flickered to Carly. William was no less focused, appearing especially aware, as though he were waiting for something.

Yes, Brin?
Darius thought. He picked at his food as he, too, was acutely aware of the tension in the room.

They’re pretty upset.

Nothing gets by you, does it?

You don’t have to take it out on me. I’m just trying to help.

I know you are, Brin. I’m sorry. Today was just a bad day, and now it’s about to get worse.

The men will understand. Hugh is a rational man, and Daniel and William trust you, even if Daniel is forgetting that fact right now. It will be all right, you’ll see.

It’s not the men I’m worried about.

What then? Is it Dearra you’re concerned with? I can’t see why she would—

In that moment, Darius exposed his thoughts for Brin to see. Brin had been privy to the day’s events, but Darius also shared some important memories from his past. 

Brin would have given a dragon’s hoard to have been able to escape what would surely be coming when Dearra heard the news.

You see now, don’t you?
Darius thought hopelessly, spearing another piece of meat with his fork, but only pushing it randomly around his plate.

I will pray to Tolah that your death is quick, young Darius,
Brin said solemnly.

That’s not funny, Brin.

Who says I was joking?

Well, I’d better just get it over with. Hugh looks ready to split in two.

Walk with Tolah, Darius,
Brin said consolingly, and Darius heard him add
, I sure wish I could; anywhere but here would be preferable.

Gathering all of his Breken courage, Darius pushed his plate away and looked up into the angry glare of Hugh. “I know you saw me today, Hugh. I can explain.”

Dearra and Carly abruptly ceased their conversation, and Dearra swung her gaze onto Darius, waiting for him to continue.

“Can you, really, Darius? I would like to hear how it came to pass that you met alone in the desert with one of your people. Why would you need to go so secretively? What could you not share with us? Unless, of course, you meant to betray us.”

William shook his head in denial at Hugh’s accusations, but it was Daniel who spoke on his friend’s behalf. “Hugh, I don’t know what the boy was doing, but I know that it wasn’t anything to do us harm. He’s stupid, but he’s no traitor.”

Darius crinkled his brow for a moment. When he thought about it, that was exactly what he was: a traitor, not to these people, but to his own. The thought left him as quickly as it came, however, for in his heart, he had never thought himself to be truly Breken. To Daniel, he said, “Thank you…I think. Listen: I had to make contact outside of the usual method. I needed to know that Phillip still lived and that this wasn’t a game being played for the ransom of a child they never intended to return.”

“And?” Dearra asked, her voice trembling with concern for her brother’s safety. She had never really let herself believe anything serious would ever happen to Pip, but hearing Darius say the words aloud had sent crippling fear racing through her veins.

Darius offered her a comforting smile and placed a hand on her arm before saying, “He’s fine, Dearra. Alive and well.”

“How do we know we can trust this woman?” Hugh demanded. “Why would she even meet with you in the first place? Everything I know about the Breken says they act only for personal gain. I can’t imagine she would just agree to provide you with information for no reason at all.”

“She?” Dearra said, the timid squeak from the moment before, replaced with a lion’s muted purr.

Darius cleared his throat and continued to speak to Hugh, but avoided meeting Dearra’s eyes with his own.

“Her family is the one that holds Phillip. She herself has been in charge of his…care. Our families have some…unique ties to one another, and she still feels some…obligation to me.”

“Obligation?” Dearra said, her purr growing to a soft growl.

Carly set her fork down and inched slightly back from the table.

Nice, Darius. I never knew you could dance so well. Careful now—here’s where the tune gets faster,
Brin warned.

Hugh was not one to be put off, and his patience was wearing thin. “What kind of ties? What sort of obligations?”

“Well…sir, it’s complicated. She…she’s sort of like…well, it’s different, of course, but in a way, I guess you could say she’s—and it’s really important you understand—”

“Darius!” Hugh roared.

“She’s my wife!”

Hugh’s jaw dropped a good two inches and stayed that way. Daniel, William, and Carly got to their feet and moved as far away from Dearra as the room would allow, for though they valued their own skin enough to get out of harm’s way, no one wanted to miss what would happen next.

Darius seemed to shrink before their eyes. He turned to face Dearra, who had not moved an iota, and looked slowly up from the floor. In all of his life, Darius had not seen anything that filled him with more dread than the sight that greeted him. Her face was completely passive. She wore an expression of calm. But when his eyes met hers, he saw that, in them, there was no blue to be found. Every trace of the beautiful sapphire had been swept away, and only the golden fire remained.

Without blinking, Dearra said, “Darius, I wish to speak with you alone. I would like to take a walk. The air will do me good.”

Hugh had recovered enough at this point to at least think of Darius’s safety. “Leave the sword, Dearra. Darius can take his, but Brin stays here.” He half expected an argument, and braced himself to hold firm.

Dearra only nodded without looking away from Darius and said, “Fine. I won’t be needing Brin, anyway.”

As Darius followed her into the chill night air, he thought his friends looked as though they were already in mourning. He knew it wasn’t going to come to that, but it didn’t help when Brin said,
It’s been a privilege to know you, Darius,
on his way out the door.

***

Darius wondered if the Bandar night was chillier than normal, or if it was the manifestation of Dearra’s mood he was feeling. He turned to her and said, “Dearra, I—”

“Shhhh,” Dearra interrupted. She made no effort to renew the conversation, but only continued to walk.

Twenty minutes passed as they walked further and further from the inn, and closer to the sea. Darius tried to speak on two more occasions. On the first try she simply shushed him again, and on the second she held up a hand and shook her head. After that, he decided to wait for her cue and walked in silence.

He knew she was furious. He had never seen her quite this angry, and he had seen her pretty angry in the past. He deserved it, he knew, but how was he supposed to have told her about Mili? When they first met, there had been no need. Later on, it hardly seemed the time. Darius could hear the conversation in his mind: “Thank you so much for the kiss, Dearra. It was the most wonderful moment in my entire life. And oh, by the way, I’m married.” Or better yet, “Now that I’ve told you I love you, I should probably mention Mili?” Darius shuddered at the thought. If Dearra noticed, she gave no indication and only continued to walk.

The moon was fully risen by the time they reached the rocky beach. Darius held his breath in anticipation of the conversation they were about to have. He saw that her eyes had returned to normal, and he supposed it a good sign, even though it only meant she had her anger under control, not that it was gone.

She turned to face him and he braced for the storm, but none of the scenarios he’d imagined on their trek to that spot had prepared him for the pain of what came next. Dearra opened her mouth to speak, but instead, she collapsed onto the sharp stones beneath them and wept bitterly, grasping onto his legs for support. Darius was left speechless as a sharp stab of agony tore through his chest. This was followed by an equally excruciating jolt to his mind. Brin was close enough to know everything that was happening, and he was echoing Dearra’s obvious pain. Darius silently thanked Brin for not interfering.

Darius lowered himself to the ground to cradle Dearra in his arms. “Please, Dearra,” he begged, rocking her gently, “I can take anything but your tears.”

“Who
is
she?” Dearra said, her voice thick with misery.

“No one, I swear. She’s no one.”

“Darius!”

“All right, Dearra. Don’t cry, my love. I’ll tell you everything, just…please, don’t cry.”

Dearra fought to control her breathing and hiccupped a little as she swallowed back her tears and leaned into his chest.

“She is my wife,” Darius began. He felt Dearra tense in his arms, and hurried to explain. “But it’s not like a joining. That comes later. In my world, station is everything. We are married off as infants for the familial ties those unions provide. I was married to Mili when she was still in her cradle.”

“And you are bound to that joining?” Dearra asked, unable to comprehend a marriage where neither party was bound by any vows of faithfulness, not to mention love. “Even though you had no say in the match?”

“We are married as children, but we are
joined
as adults. She was to become my
banu
, my bride, when I returned from our raid to Maj. I put it off as long as I could, but my father had become insistent. Her family is very powerful, and my constant delays were becoming an embarrassment for him, and my father told me I needed to be done with it. Once she birthed my first son I could have easily cast her aside and never have had to look at her again, but that was something I just couldn’t do. I couldn’t formalize our union in good conscience. I was waiting—I didn’t even know what for—but now I know it was you, Dearra. I was waiting for you. I had no idea what love even was until you showed me.”

Darius finished speaking and waited expectantly for her reply. He prayed to whatever gods were listening that she would see he never meant to hurt her. Surely she understood that it was only a formality and that he had had no say in the matter.

When she finally spoke, her voice was more even than it had been before, and Darius allowed the tension building inside him to ease a fraction. “You hurt me, Darius,” she said, almost too softly to be heard.

“I know, Dearra. But I swear on my life it was never intentional. I would do anything to earn back your trust.”

“Anything?” she asked hesitantly, her voice quavering slightly as she strained to control the anguish she felt.

“Anything! I swear, my love. Anything.” Darius knew he should stay focused, but he couldn’t help himself, and he lavished small kisses across her tear stained face, pausing only when she opened her mouth to speak.

“Darius,” she began.

“Yes, love?” he asked hopefully.

“Tell me…”

“Yes, Dearra,” he encouraged.

“Tell me what happened between us in your room back in Maj was my fault,” she said in a rush.

If the sea had dried up in an instant and fish had started falling from the sky, Darius couldn’t have been more surprised than he was at that moment.

“Dearra, you can’t be serious,” he whispered.

Dearra sat straighter in his lap and said with all sincerity, “I’ve never been more serious in my life. You did say you would do anything.”

“And if I do this, you’ll forgive me?”

“Oh, I forgave you when you told me you had been waiting for me without even knowing it, but since you offered to do anything, I’d be a fool to pass up this opportunity.” A small grin grew on her lips, and she swiped at the few, remaining tears that remained on her face.

“Dearra. That’s—”

Dearra smiled triumphantly. “Anything. You said,”

Darius sighed. “Fine. It was all your fault. Now, kiss me, Dearra.” As her lips met his, the sting of his coerced confession eased slightly.

“So now what?” Dearra asked, once their lips had parted.

“Now what?”

“Yeah. How do you get out of this marriage thing? There must be
some
way to end this arrangement.”

Darius chuckled a little before answering. “Don’t worry about it, Dearra. I left that ‘marriage’ behind when I left the Breken.”

“Does
she
feel that way about it?”

“Well, no, not exactly. But it has nothing to do with her having any sort of feelings for me. She just wants the power and position. She may be daughter of the highest ranked house, but that doesn’t really mean much in the grand scheme of things. Now, if she were mother of the heir to the Fourth House with ties to Falco, then her position would be more secure.”

“Your people are really twisted, you know that, right?”

“Look who’s talking! Brin told me about
your
family tree, Dearra. It’s the Breken in you that works every situation so it ends to your advantage.”