Wholehearted (5 page)

“Thanks, but I’ll be fine. I just need some sleep and a cup of real coffee, and I’ll be good to go. I swear.”

They were pulling up to the station parking lot. Declan’s cruiser was parked in its usual spot.

“You going to head straight home?”

“No. There are a couple of things I want to look into first, but then I could use a shower and a nap.”

“Okay, well, don’t work too hard. And remember what I said. If you need help, just ask.”

“Thanks, Mack.”

Declan got out of the car and headed into the station, pausing to say hello to Lisa as he entered. He hadn’t been there nearly long enough to have his own office, but his desk was tucked in the corner next to a window. He liked his space, and it was tidy and organized just as he’d left it.

He booted up his computer and read the case file that Mack’s other deputy, Scott, had put together for him after he’d left for the hospital. There were crime scene photos and a written description. There hadn’t been a weapon found near the victim; it had likely been taken with the perpetrator or thrown into the water. The inventory of injuries seemed much more severe written on the page in black and white, each one punctuated by a bullet point. Declan breathed in and out, trying to tamp down the adrenaline that was at risk of bursting through and setting off another roll of his temper. He needed to keep a clear head if he had any hope of figuring out who had hurt Lucas.

Without a weapon, there would be no fingerprints, and although they weren’t yet finished combing through everything, it didn’t seem that the CSU team from Ellsworth had found anything else at the scene. Jake was a nice guy and a good cop, but Hope Cove just didn’t have the technology or resources for a proper analysis. Declan had faith in his abilities, though, and knew that he would be able to track down the asshole that had hurt his Lucas.

His
Lucas? Really? He was fucking losing it. He didn’t have time to think about the weird connection he felt to the man. He needed to get his head on straight and focus on what he needed to do.

He turned to his computer and pulled up the software he needed to run Lucas’s name and date of birth. The search came back quickly with no record of criminal activity, not so much as a parking ticket. The guy was squeaky clean.

Declan scrubbed his hand down his face. This was going to be difficult. He had no leads, nothing to go on, and an uncooperative victim. If he wanted to get this case solved, he was going to have to crack Lucas in order to do it.

He shut down his computer and tucked the case file under his arm. It was after noon and he still hadn’t showered or changed.

D
ECLAN
DROVE
home as quickly as he could and started stripping his clothes off the moment the front door closed. He felt disgusting. Walking into his bathroom, he cranked the hot water on as high as it would go and then stepped under the spray.

It felt so good to have the scalding water pounding down on his skin. He felt as though he was washing away the stress and anxiety of the last twenty-four hours, and he watched as it swirled down the drain and away forever. The heat and steam closed in on him and made him feel loose and relaxed. His eyelids began to droop. He was so fucking tired. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for the next three days.

After twisting the faucet off, Declan grabbed the white towel that hung on the rack next to the tub. His body was still damp as he crawled between the sheets of his bed. They were so unbelievably soft. He didn’t think he could stay awake for another minute. Pulling the heavy blankets up over himself, he nuzzled into his soft pillow and before he knew it, he was out.

I
T
TOOK
Declan a few minutes to pull himself from sleep. He was still tired and very groggy. Sleep had come quickly, but his dreams had been turbulent. He realized he was thinking about Lucas again. Declan knew he should stop—that he should try to distance himself from the case. Creating space between his feelings and the black-and-white nature of the job he had to do was going to be difficult, but it would be worth it in the end. The emotional image he had of Lucas that lived inside his head didn’t match with the full-color real-life version he had encountered once Lucas had regained consciousness. It would do no good to build him up into something he wasn’t.

Declan needed to get a grip. He lay in bed for a few more minutes, feeling the weight of the blankets on his body, and trying to clear his mind. He wanted to think about things from a different perspective.

Throwing the covers back, Declan shivered at the chill that hit his bare skin as he walked to the closet to pull out fresh clothes. Although he wasn’t technically on duty until the next day, he thought he would go back to the hospital anyway and see if Lucas had decided to give up any new information. There wasn’t much progress to be made on the case without it.

He pulled on a pair of jeans, soft from years of wear, and a thin cotton long-sleeved shirt. Shoving his feet into a pair of socks then shoes, he next threaded his arms through the sleeves of his brown leather jacket, and walked out of the house to his car.

Pulling out onto his street, Declan made a left and then a right before he merged onto the highway toward Ellsworth. While he drove, he tried to come up with a game plan. He hoped showing up in civvies would make Lucas a bit less angry. The guy seemed to have a problem with cops.

He finally arrived at the hospital and pulled the car into the visitors’ lot. Pausing momentarily at the gift shop, he wondered if he should bring something for Lucas, but decided against it. Somehow, Declan didn’t think a teddy bear or a bouquet of flowers would be very well received.

He entered the elevator again, and when the doors opened, he walked past the nurses’s station. There was a girl he didn’t recognize sitting at the desk—Kim, he guessed—and he walked right into Lucas’s room.

Lucas was staring at the TV but didn’t seem to be watching it. He turned his head when Declan entered. “You again?” he asked. This time there was less distaste coloring his voice. He just sounded tired.

“Yup. I told you I would be back to check on you.”

“And I told you I don’t remember anything.”

“Doesn’t matter. I thought I’d just keep you company for a while. If anything should happen to come to you, you can tell me.”

“I don’t need any company. I’m fine on my own.”

“I’m sure you are, but hospitals are boring. The one time I had to stay in one I thought I would lose my mind from boredom.”

“I got TV.”

“I see that. Anything good on?”

“Oh yeah. Tons. Sonny’s just about to tell Jessica that he loves her.” Declan glanced at the screen. The images were all hazy with that cheesy filter all the soap operas used for filming.

“Oh, you wouldn’t want to miss that.”

“No, it’s a big deal. Jessica thought Sonny was dead, because he was hit by an exploding train, but it turns out that he was faking, and when he came back, he told everyone that he was Donny, who is Sonny’s twin, but it was him all along. And Jessica is all confused because she thinks she’s being unfaithful to Sonny by falling in love with Donny, but it turns out that they’re the same guy.”

“Really?”

“No. I have no fucking idea who these people are. I don’t give a shit about soap operas.”

Declan laughed. “You’re already going crazy from the monotony.”

“Maybe a little,” Lucas admitted.

“Has the doctor been in to see you today? Do you know when you’ll be able to get out of here?”

“Not yet. The nurse, Kim I think her name is, said the doctor should be stopping by sometime this afternoon, but she thinks I should be able to leave sometime in the next few days.”

“That’s great,” Declan said, trying to mask the disappointment he hoped wouldn’t be evident in his voice.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Do you have a place to go?”

“I’m going to call a buddy of mine and see if there’s work for me on the boat he’s on.”

“Is that what you do? Fish?”

“It pays the bills. The boat I was on before was a lobster boat. Tough work, but I’m not good at much else.”

“Do you think you’re going to be able to work with your arm in a cast?”

“I dunno, but I gotta. I can’t just sit around here forever.”

Just then, a young man in green scrubs walked into the room, his lab coat trailing behind him at the speed of his gait.

“Mr. Hale?” he asked.

“That’s me,” replied Lucas.

“I’m Dr. Pryce. Let’s have a look here.” The doctor opened Lucas’s chart and glanced through it, making small noises of approval as he read. “Looks like everything is healing nicely so far. You’re out of the woods for concussion, and although it’s going to take you some time before you’re back at 100 percent, you’ve made a good start.”

“When can I get out of here?”

“We’re going to keep you for another forty-eight hours, and then barring complications, and assuming you have someone to take care of you once you get home, we can release you.”

“Uh, what do you mean someone to take care of me?”

“You’re not going to be able to do much on your own for a while. Your dominant arm and shoulder were injured, so that alone will be an obstacle for you. You’re going to need some help for at least six weeks, maybe longer depending on how quickly you heal.”

“So what you’re saying is that I need a babysitter?”

“Essentially, yes. If you do not have anyone at home to help you, we can provide the names of some at home care nurses that you could hire during your recovery period.”

“How much does that cost?” Lucas asked.

“I’m not sure, but I can have someone bring in information for you to take a look at.”

“Fine.”

The doctor checked a few more things, asked a few more dull questions, and left as quickly as he had entered.

“He must be a busy guy,” Declan stated, at a loss for what to say, but not wanting to sit in awkward silence.

“I guess.”

“You know…. I know we didn’t get off to a very good start, and I am pretty much a stranger to you, but I do have a guest room. You’re welcome to stay with me for a while if you need to.”

Lucas just looked at him, his eyes narrowed in an expression that was a mixture of anger and curiosity. “Why would you do that?”

“I dunno. I’m almost never home anyway. I work a lot. It seems like you need a place to go. I could help you with the little things day-to-day, like the doctor said. It wouldn’t be bad.”

“You don’t even know me. You find me battered and bloody, and all of a sudden you want to be my best friend? My hero? My lover? What?”

Declan tried to breathe in and out, to stop the blush that was creeping up, threatening to stain his cheeks. In truth, he wanted all those things, but he couldn’t let himself think about it.

“No, you just seem like you might need some help, and if I can give that to you, I want to. It’s my job.”

“It’s your job to take in stray men you find beaten in the street and have them sleep in your home?”

“Well, not exactly…,” Declan stuttered. “Look, you want to or not? I don’t care much either way,” he lied.

“I’ll be fine on my own. I don’t need your help.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

T
HE
NEXT
two days passed slowly for Declan. Not sure what was going to happen when Lucas was discharged, he didn’t let himself get his hopes up that he might have the beautiful man living with him, albeit temporarily. Declan spent the rest of Tuesday at the hospital with Lucas, mostly in silence. Lucas didn’t seem to want to talk to him, and Declan couldn’t bring himself to push him out of his comfort zone.

The next day he was back, and despite the scowl on Lucas’s face that greeted him when Declan walked in the room, Lucas didn’t get snarky with him and seemed at least to tolerate his presence. By Wednesday afternoon, both of them were going stir-crazy. Lucas was fidgeting incessantly lying in the hospital bed. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do, and they had to entertain themselves. Declan suggested a card game, but the suggestion was met with rolled eyes and a disdainful grunt.

“All right then, no card games. What do you like?”

“Nothing.”

“You don’t like anything? At all?”

“Nope.”

“You must have a ton of friends, then,” Declan said.

Lucas’s eyes got wide for a second before he schooled his expression back to one of mild distaste. “I don’t much like people.”

“Well, I figured that out right away.”

“No one’s forcing you to be here. In fact, no one actually
wants
you to be here.”

“I wanna be here,” Declan said quietly.

“Don’t know why. It’s not like you’re here for your job. I’m not stupid enough to believe your only reason for sitting here for two straight days is professional.”

“Then why do you think I’m here?”

“I have no fucking idea, man. I’ve been trying to figure you out since day one.”

“Oh yeah?” Declan’s eyebrows lifted.

“I mean, I don’t give a fuck if you’re here or not. I just can’t figure out why you’d wanna sit in a hospital room with a total stranger who has treated you like shit pretty much from the word go.”