Why do Clocks run clockwise? (35 page)

Hats

cowboy, dents on

declining popularity

dents in cowboy

holes in sides of

numbering system for sizes

Haystacks, shape of

“Hazard [dice game]”

“Head [bathroom]”

“Head honcho”

Head injuries, “seeing stars” and

Head lice, kids and

Headaches and aspirin

Headbands on books

Headlamps, shutoff of automobile

“Heart on his sleeve”

Hearts, shape of, idealized versus real

Heat and effect on sleep

“Hector”

“Heebie jeebies”

Height

290 / DAVID FELDMAN

clearance signs on highways

of elderly

restrictions on fences

voice pitch and

Heinz ketchup labels

Helicopters, noise of

Helium and effect on voice

Hellman’s Mayonnaise, versus Best Foods

“Hem and haw”

“Hep”

Hermit crabs, bathroom habits of

Hernia exams and “Turn your head and cough”

“Heroin”

“High bias,” versus “low bias,” on audio tape

“High jinks”

High-altitude tennis balls

“Highball”

Highways

clumping of traffic

curves on

interstate, numbering system

traffic jams, clearing of

weigh stations

“Hillbilly”

Hills, versus mountains

“Hip”

“Hobnob”

“Hobson’s choice”

Hockey

banging of sticks by goalies

hat trick

Montreal Canadiens uniforms

Wayne Gretzky’s uniform

“Hold a candle”

“Holding the bag”

Holes

in barrels of cheap pens

in elevator doors

in fly swatters

in ice cream sandwiches

WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 291

in needles and syringes

in pasta

in saltines

in thimbles

in wing-tip shoes

on bottom of soda bottles

recycling of, in loose-leaf paper

refilling of dirt

“Holland,” versus “Netherlands”

Home plate, shape of, in baseball

“Honcho”

Honey, spoilage of

Honey roasted peanuts, banning of, on airlines Honking in geese during migration

“Honky”

“Hoodwink”

“Hoosiers”

“Horsefeathers”

Horses

measurement of heights of

posture in open fields

shoes

sleeping posture

vomiting

Hospital gowns, back ties on

Hospitals and guidelines for medical conditions Hot dog buns

number of, in package

slicing of

Hot dogs, skins of

Hot water, noise in pipes of

Hotels

amenities, spread of

number of towels in rooms

plastic circles on walls of

toilet paper folding in bathrooms of

“Hotsy totsy”

Houses, settling in

“Hue and cry”

“Humble pie”

292 / DAVID FELDMAN

Humidity, relative, during rain

Humming, power lines and

Hurricane, trees and

“Hurricanes” as University of Miami nickname

“Hut,” origins of football term

Hydrants, fire, freezing water in

Hypnotists, stage, techniques of

“I [capitalization of]”

“I could care less”

“I” before “e,” in spelling

Ice

fizziness of soda

formation on top of lakes and ponds

holes and dimples in

in urinals

Ice cream

black specks in

cost of cones versus cups

pistachio, color of

thirstiness

Ice cream and soda, fizziness of

Ice cream sandwiches, holes in

Ice cubes

cloudy versus clear

shape of, in home freezers

Ice rinks, temperature of resurfacing water in Ice skating, awful music in

Ice trays in freezers, location of

Icy roads, use of sand and salt on

Ignitions

automobile, and headlamp shutoff

key release button on

Imperial gallon, versus American gallon

“In like Flynn”

“In the nick of time”

Index fingers and “Tsk-Tsk,” stroking of

“Indian corn”

“Indian pudding”

“Indian summer”

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Indianapolis 500, milk consumption by victors in

“Inflammable,” versus “flammable”

Ink

color of, in ditto masters

newspaper, and recycling

Insects

attraction to ultraviolet

aversion to yellow

flight patterns of

in flour and fruit

Insects [see specific types]

Insufficient postage, USPS procedures for Interstate highways, numbering system of

Introductions in books, versus forewords and prefaces Irish names, “O’” in

Irons, permanent press settings on

Ironworkers, backwards hard hat wearing of Irregular sheets, proliferation of

IRS and due date of taxes

IRS tax forms

disposal of

numbering scheme of

“Italian” bread, versus “French”

Itching, reasons for

Ivory soap, purity of

“J” Street, Washington D. C. and

“Jack [playing card]”

Jack Daniel’s and “Old No. 7”

“Jack,” “John” versus

Jack-o’-lanterns, Halloween and

Jams, contents of

Japanese

baseball uniforms

boxes, yellow color of

flags, red beams and

Jars, food, refrigeration of opened

“Jaywalking”

Jeans

blue, orange thread and

294 / DAVID FELDMAN

Levis, colored tabs on

origin of “501” name

sand in pockets of new

“Jeans [pants]”

“Jeep”

Jellies, contents of

Jellies, grape, color of

Jello-O, fruit in

Jeopardy
, difficulty of daily doubles in

“Jerkers”

Jet lag, birds and

“Jetsam,” versus “flotsam”

“Jig is up”

Jigsaw puzzles, fitting pieces of

Jimmies, origins of

“Jink”

“John,” versus “Jack”

Johnson, Andrew, and 1864 election

“Joshing”

Judges and black robes

Judo belts, colors of

“Juggernaut”

Juicy Fruit gum, flavors in

“K rations”

“K” as strikeout in baseball scoring

Kangaroos, pouch cleaning of

Karate belts, colors of

“Keeping up with the Joneses”

Ken, hair of, versus Barbie’s

Ketchup, Heinz, labels of

Ketchup bottles

narrow necks of

neck bands on

restaurants mating of

“Ketchup”

“Kettle of fish”

Keys

automobile, door and ignition

piano, number of

WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 295

teeth direction

to cities

“Kidnapping”

Kids versus adult goats

Kilts, Scotsmen and

Kissing

eye closure during

leg kicking by females

“Kit cat club”

“Kit,” “caboodle” and

“Kittycorner”

Kiwifruit in gelatin

Kneading and bread

Knee-jerk reflex in humans

Knives, dinner, rounded edges of

Knives, serrated, lack of, in place settings Knobs versus handles, on doors

“Knock on wood”

“Knuckle under”

Knuckles, wrinkles on

Kodak, origins of name

Kool-Aid and metal containers

Kraft American cheese, milk in

“L.S.,” meaning of, in contracts

Label warnings, mattress

Labels on underwear, location of

Labels, food, lack of manufacturer street addresses on

“Ladybug”

Ladybugs, spots on

Lakes

effect of moon on

fish returning to dried

ice formations on

versus ponds, differences between

versus ponds, water level of

wind variations

“Lame duck”

Lane reflectors, fastening of

Large-type books, size of

296 / DAVID FELDMAN

Laryngitis, dogs, barking, and

Lasagna, crimped edges of

“Last ditch”

“Last straw”

Laughing hyenas, laughter in

Lawn ornaments, plastic deer as

Lawns, reasons for

“Lawyer”

“Lb. [pound]”

Leader, film

“Leap year”

Leather, high cost of

Ledges in buildings, purpose of

Left hands, placement of wristwatches on

“Left wing”

Left-handed string players, in orchestras Leg kicking by women while kissing

Legal-size paper, origins of

“Legitimate” theater, origins of term

“Let the cat out of the bag”

Letters

business, format of

compensation for, between countries

Letters in alphabet soup, distribution of Levi jeans

colored tabs

origin of “501” name

Liberal arts, origins of

Lice, head, kids and

License plates and prisoners

License plates on trucks, absence of

“Licking his chops”

Licorice, ridges on

Life Savers, wintergreen, sparkling of, when bitten Light bulbs

air in

fluorescent, stroking of

halogen

high cost of 25-watt variety

in traffic signals

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loosening of

noise when shaking

plinking by fluorescent

three-way, burnout

three-way, functioning of

wattage sizes of

Light switches, height and location of

Lighters, disposable, fluid chambers of

Lightning, heat

Lights in freezers

“Limelight”

Lincoln, Abraham, and Andrew Johnson

Linens, unpleasant smell in

Lions, animal trainers and

Lips

black, on dogs

upper, grooves on

Liquids as treatment for colds

Liquor, proof and

Liquor distilleries during Prohibition

Lizards

eyes during sleep

sunburn and

“Lobster Newburg”

Lobsters

ambidexterity

color of, when boiled

leftover, in restaurants

“Loggerheads”

“Lollipop”

Lone Ranger, origins of

“Long in the tooth”

“Loo”

Looking up while thinking

Loons, lunatics and

Loose-leaf paper, recycling of holes in

Lotion, after shave, and stinging

“Love Jones”

“Lucre”

Lumber, measurement of two by fours and

298 / DAVID FELDMAN

Lunatics, loons and

Lunula, fingernails and

“Lynching”

M&M’s

blue

colors of

imprinting of

meaning of name

peanuts in plain

seams, lack of

Macadamia nuts and shells

Macaroni, elbow, shape of

Magazines

address orientation

Boulder, Colorado and subscriptions

jumps in

labels, pink stripe on

omission of page numbers on

subscription insert cards in

Mail

CAR-RT SORT on envelopes

compensation for, between countries

first class versus priority

translation of foreign

undeliverable, fate of

Mail chutes, unclogging of, in skyscrapers Mailboxes and postmaster general approval Mail-in refunds, versus coupons

Mail-order ads, delivery time promises of

“Make no bones about it”

Mall, shopping, entrances, doors at

Mandarin oranges, peeling of

Manhole covers, round shape of

Marching, stepping off on left foot when

Marching bands, formations of

Margarine, versus butter, in restaurants

Margarine sticks, length of

Marmalades, contents of

Marshals’ badges, shape of

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Marshmallows, invention of

Martial arts, sniffing and

Martinizing, One Hour

Mascara, mouth opening during application of Matchbooks, location of staples on

Matches, color of paper

Math, school requirement of

Mattress tags, warning labels on

Mattresses, floral graphics on

Maximum occupancy in public rooms

Mayonnaise, Best Foods versus Hellmann’s

Mayors, keys to cities and

McDonald’s

Grimace, identity of

“over 95 billion served” signs

sandwich wrapping techniques

straw size

Measurements

acre

meter

Measuring spoons, inaccuracy of

Meat

children’s doneness preferences

national branding

red color of

Meat loaf, taste in institutions

Medals, location of on military uniforms

Medical conditions, in hospitals, guidelines for Medicine bottles, cotton in

Memorial Day, Civil War and

Men

dancing ability of

feelings of coldness

remote controls and

Menstruation, synchronization of, in women Menthol, coolness of

Meter, origins of

Miami, University of

football helmets

“Hurricanes” nickname

300 / DAVID FELDMAN

Mickey Mouse, four fingers of

Microphones, press conferences and

Migration of birds

Mile, length of, origins of

Military salutes, origins of

Milk

as sleep-inducer

fat content in lowfat

in refrigerators, coldness of

Indianapolis 500

national brands

plastic milk containers

single serving cartons of

skim versus nonfat

skin on, when heated

Milk cartons

design of

difficulty in opening and closing of

Milk cases, warnings on

Milk Duds, shape of

Millimeters, as measurement unit for film

“Mind your P’s and Q’s”

Mint flavoring on toothpicks