Why do Clocks run clockwise? (36 page)

Mint, U.S., and shipment of coin sets

Minting of new coins, timing of

Mirrors in bars

Mirrors, rear-view

Mistletoe, kissing under, origins of

Mobile homes, tires atop, in trailer parks Mole hair, color of

Money, U.S.

color of

stars on

Monitors, computer, shape of

Monkeys, hair picking of

Monopoly, playing tokens in

Montreal Canadiens, uniforms of

Moon

apparent size of, at horizon

effect on lakes and ponds

WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 301

official name

quarter-, vs. half-

Moons on outhouse doors

Mosquitoes

biting and itching

biting preferences

daytime habits

male versus female eating habits

Moths, reaction to light of

Mottoes on sundials

Mountains

falling hot air at

versus hills

Movie actors and speed of speech

Movie theaters

bells in

in-house popcorn popping

Movies, Roman numerals in copyright dates in

“Mrs.”

MSG, Chinese restaurants and

“Mugwump”

Muppets, left-handedness of

Murder scenes, chalk outlines at

Musketeers, Three, lack of muskets of

Mustaches, policemen and

“Muumuu”

“Mystery 7,” in
$25,000 Pyramid

Nabisco Saltine packages, red tear strip on Nabisco Shredded Wheat box, Niagara Falls on Nail polish and fingernail yellowing

“Namby pamby”

National Geographics
, saving issues of Navy and Army, Captain rank in

Necklaces and clasp migration

Neckties

direction of stripes on

origins of

taper of

Nectarines, canned, lack of

302 / DAVID FELDMAN

Needles, holes in, of syringes

Neptune’s moon, Triton, orbit pattern of

Nerdiness and eyeglasses

“Netherlands,” versus “Holland”

New York City and steam in streets

“New York” steaks, origins of

New Zealand, versus “Old Zealand”

Newspapers

ink and recycling of

ink smudges on

jumps in

tearing of

window cleaning and

yellowing of

Niagara Falls on Nabisco Shredded Wheat box

“Nick of time”

Nickels, smooth edges of

“Nickname”

Nightclubs, lateness of bands in

“Nine-day wonder”

Nine-volt batteries, shape of

Nipples, purpose of, in men

“No bones about it”

“No Outlet” signs, versus “Dead End” signs Noise, traffic, U.S. versus foreign countries North Carolina, University of, and Tar Heels North Pole

directions at

telling time at

Nose rings and bulls

Noses

clogged nostrils and

runny, in cold weather

runny, kids versus adults

wet, in dogs

Nostrils, clogged

Notches on bottom of shampoo bottles

Notre Dame fighting Irish

NPR radio stations, low frequency numbers of Numbers, Arabic, origins of

WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 303

Nutrition labels, statement of fats on

Nuts

Brazil, in assortments

Macadamia shells

peanuts in plain M&M’s

peanuts, and growth in pairs

“O’” in Irish names

Oakland A’s, elephant on uniforms of

Oboes, use of as pitch providers, in orchestras Occupancy, maximum, in public rooms

Oceans

boundaries between

color of

salt in

versus seas

Octopus throwing, Detroit Red Wings and

“Off the schneider”

Oh Henry, origins of name of

Oil

automotive, after oil change

automotive, grades of

“Okay,” thumbs-up gesture as

Oktoberfest, September celebration of

Old men

hairy ears and

pants height and

“Old No. 7” and Jack Daniel’s

“Old Zealand,” versus New Zealand

Olive Oil, virgin

Olives, green and black, containers of

“On pointe” and ballet

“On tenterhooks”

“On the Q.T.”

“Once in a blue moon”

“One fell swoop”

One Hour Martinizing

One-hour photo processing, length of black-and-white film and Onions and crying

Orange coffee pots, in restaurants

304 / DAVID FELDMAN

Orange juice

price of fresh versus frozen

taste of, with toothpaste

Orange thread in blue jeans

Oranges, extra wedges of

Oranges, mandarin, peeling of

“Oreo,” origins of name

Outhouse doors, moons on

Ovens, thermometers in

Overflow mechanism, kitchen sinks and

Oxygen in tropical fish tanks

Oxygen masks, inflation of airline

“P.U.,” origins of term

“Pacific Ocean”

Page numbers on magazines

Pagination in books

Pain, effect of warmth upon

Paint, homes and white

Paint, red, on coins

Painters and white uniforms

Palms, sunburn on

Pandas, double names of

Pants, height of old men’s

“Pantywaist”

“Pap test”

Paper

legal size, origins of

recycling of holes in loose-leaf

Paper cups, shape of

Paper cuts, pain and

Paper mills, smell of

Paper sacks

jagged edges on

names on

Paper towel dispensers, “emergency feed” on Paperback books, staining of

Papers, yellowing of

“Par [golf course]”

“Par Avion” on air mail postage

WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 305

“Pardon my French”

Parking lots, sea gulls at

Parking meters, yellow “violation” flags and

“Parkway”

Parkways, parking on, versus driveways

Parrots and head bobbing

Parting of hair, left versus right

Partly cloudy, versus partly sunny

Partly sunny, versus partly cloudy

“Pass the buck”

Pasta

boxes, numbers on

foaming when boiling

holes in

Pay phones, collection of money from

Pay toilets, disappearance of

PBX systems

“Pea jacket”

Peaches

canned, and pear juice

fuzziness of

Peanut butter, stickiness of

Peanuts

allergies to

growth in pairs

honey roasted, and airlines

origins of comics name

Pear juice in canned peaches

Pears and apples, discoloration of

Pebbles, spitting by fish of

“Peeping Tom”

Pencils

architectural and art, grades of

carpenter’s, shape of

color

numbering

Penguins

frostbite on feet

knees

Penicillin and diet

306 / DAVID FELDMAN

Penmanship of doctors, bad

Pennies

lettering on

smooth edges of

vending machines and

Pennsylvania Dept. of Agriculture registration, baked goods Penny loafers, origins of

Pens

disappearance of

holes in barrel of cheap

ink leakages in

Pepper

and salt, as condiments

and sneezing

white, source of

Pepsi-Cola, trademark location of

Perfume

color of

wrists and

Periods in telegrams

Permanent press settings on irons

Permanents, pregnancy and

Perpetual care, cemeteries and

“Peter out”

Phantom limb sensations, amputees and

Pharmacists and raised platforms

Philips screwdriver, origins of

Philtrums, purpose of

Photo processing, one-hour, length of black-and-white film and Photographs

poses in

red eyes in

stars in space and

Photography

color of cameras

hand position of men in old

hands on chins in

Polaroid prints, flapping of

smiling in old photographs

Physical exams, back tapping during

WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 307

“Pi” as geometrical term

Piano keys, number of

“Pig in a poke”

Pigeons

baby, elusiveness of

loss of toes

whistling sound in flight

Pigs

curly tails of

pink hair color of

roasted, and apples in mouths of

Pilgrims, buckled hats of

Pillow tags, label warnings of

Pilots

and dimming of interior lights

female, dearth of, on airlines

“Pin money”

Pine nuts, shelling of

Pine trees, construction sites and

Pineapple in gelatin

Pinholes, on bottle caps

Pink as color for baby girls

“Pink lady”

Pink stripes on magazine labels

“Pinkie”

Pins in men’s dress shirts

“Pipe down”

Pipes, kitchen, shape of

Pirates

earrings on

walking the plank

Pistachio ice cream, color of

Pistachios, red color of

Pita bread, pockets in

Pitcher’s mounds

location of

rebuilding of

Pittsburgh Steelers, emblems on helmets of Planets, twinkling of, at night

Plastic bottles, beer and

308 / DAVID FELDMAN

Plastic cups, shape of

Plastic deer ornaments on lawns

Plastic, recyclable, numbers on

Plates

repositioning of

round shape of dinner

Plots, farm, circular shape of

Plug prongs

holes at end of

three prongs versus two prongs

Plum pudding, plums in

Plumbing

kitchen, shape of

sound of running water

Pockets in pita bread

Poison ivy, grazing animals and

Polaroid prints, flapping of

Poles

directions at

telling time at North and South

Pole-vaulting

preparation for different heights

women and

Police

and crowd estimates

flashlight grips

radar and speed measurement

Police car beacons, colors on

Police dogs, urination and defecation of

Policemen and mustaches

Ponds

effect of moons on

fish returning to dried

ice formations on

versus lakes

versus lakes, level of

Poodles, wild

Pool balls, dots on

“Pop goes the weasel”

Popcorn

WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 309

“gourmet” versus regular

popping in-house, in movie theaters

versus other corns

Popes

name change of

white skullcap of

white vestments of

Popping noise of wood, in fires

Pork and beans, pork in

“Port”

“Porthole”

Post office, translation of foreign mail and Postage and ripped stamps

Postage Stamps

leftover perforations of

taste of

Postal Service, U.S., undeliverable mail and Pot pies, vent holes in

Potato chips

bags, impossibility of opening and closing curvy shape

green tinges on

price of, versus tortilla chips

Potato skins, restaurants and

Potatoes, baked, and steak houses

Potholes, causes of

“Potter’s field”

Power lines

humming of

orange balls on

Prefaces in books, versus introductions and forewords Pregnancy, permanents and

Pregnant women, food cravings of

Preserves, contents of

Press conferences, microphones in

“Pretty kettle of fish”

“Pretty picnic”

Pretzels, shape of

Priests, black vestments and

Priority mail, first class versus

310 / DAVID FELDMAN

Prisoners and license plate manufacturing Prohibition, liquor production of distilleries during Pronunciation, dictionaries and

“P’s and Q’s”

Pubic hair

curliness of

purpose of

Public buildings, temperatures in

Public radio, low frequency numbers of

Pudding, film on

Punts, measurement of, in football

Purple

Christmas tree lights

paganism

royalty and

“Put up your dukes”

Putting, veering of ball toward ocean when

“Q.T.”

“Qantas,” spelling of

Q-Tips, origins of name

“Quack [doctor]”

“Quarterback”

Quarterbacks and exclamation, “hut”

Quarter-moons versus half moons

Quarts and gallons, American versus British Queen-size sheets, size of

Rabbit tests, death of rabbits in

Rabbits and nose wiggling

Racewalking, judging of

Racquetballs, color of

Radar and police speed detection

Radiators and placement below windows

Radio

beeps before network news

FM, odd frequency numbers of

lack of song identification

public, low frequency numbers

Radio Shack and lack of cash registers

WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 311

Radios

battery drainage

lingering sound of recently unplugged

Railroad crossings and “EXEMPT” signs

Railroads, width of standard gauges of

Rain

butterflies and

fish biting in

measurement container for

smell of impending

Raincoats, dry-cleaning of

“Raining cats and dogs”

“Raise hackles”

Raisins

cereal boxes and

seeded grapes and

Ranchers’ boots on fence posts

Razor blades, hotel slots for

Razors, men’s versus women’s

“Read the riot act”

“Real McCoys”

Rear admiral, origins of term

Rear-view mirrors, day/night switch on automobile Receipts, cash register, color of