Why Not Me? (33 page)

Authors: Mindy Kaling

BOOK: Why Not Me?

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So, if that girl from the panel is reading this, I would like to say to her: Hi, it’s Mindy Kaling. I’m sorry I let you down. The thing is, I’m in my mid-thirties and I was wearing my Spanx for fourteen hours straight. You’ll understand when you’re older. Here’s how I think you can get your confidence back, kid:

Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn’t always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine. Now, excuse me, I need to lie down and watch Sheldon.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank: Jeremy Bronson, Lang Fisher, Dan Goor, Charlie Grandy, Robert Padnick, Julia Powell, Chris Schleicher, Michael Schur, Matt Selman, Matt Warburton, and Tracey Wigfield for their smart and funny thoughts and their friendship. Sonia Kharkar for her precision and for sitting next to me for months, eating cookies. Greg Daniels for his guidance and for his standing offer to take me hiking in Temescal Canyon, even though he knows I would rather die.

Ike Barinholtz and David Stassen for spending hours with me on dark stages, whispering hilarious and disgusting things.

Stephen Colbert, Barack Obama, Colin Firth, and Andy Serkis for our profound friendship (and for letting me use their likenesses).

P. J. Shapiro and Cliff Gilbert-Lurie for protecting me
and
being handsome, no small feat. Michelle Margolis, Alex Crotin, Katie Greenthal, and Amanda Silverman for their calm demeanor and hustle. Marissa Ross and Heather Morris for making it all so much easier. Sreela and Keith Ferguson for their loving affection.

Maya Mavjee and Molly Stern for their total support and patience. Suzanne O’Neill for her wonderful notes. Richard Abate for getting it. Bela Bajaria, Chris Sanagustin, and Ashley Chang for my lovely job, and NBC Studios, and legal for letting me use photographs.

B. J. Novak for knowing me better than anyone.

Howard Klein for always having the answer when I ask: “Oh, Howard, what’s it all about?”

Jocelyn Leavitt for being there.

And Dad. For everything.

PHOTOGRAPHY CREDITS

1.1
: copyright ©Norman Jean Roy/trunkarchive.com (Mindy Kaling in
Vogue
);
1.2
: copyright © Bjarne Jonasson/trunkarchive.com (Mindy Kaling in
InStyle
);
1.3
: licensed by Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved (Gollum);
1.5
: copyright © Universal Television, LLC (Mindy Kaling on
The Mindy Project
);
5.2
: courtesy of Julian Broad/Contour by Getty Images (Colin Firth);
9.1
: Copyright © NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images/Justin Lubin/NBC (Mindy Kaling and Greg Daniels);
10.1
: courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company (Mindy Kaling and Mark Duplass);
10.2
: copyright © Universal Television, LLC (Mindy Kaling and Anders Holm);
10.3
: copyright © Universal Television, LLC (Mindy Kaling and Seth Rogan);
12.3
: courtesy of Julia Powell (Mindy Kaling showering);
12.7
: courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company (Mindy Kaling, Michael Spiller, and Tracey Wigfield);
12.12
: courtesy of Tracey Wigfield (Mindy Kaling with burger);
12.19
: courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company (Mindy Kaling filming and photo of Mindy Kaling with Anders Holm);
12.24
: courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company (Mindy Kaling at desk);
14.1
:
left
, Michael Loccisano/FilmMagic/Getty Images (Mindy Kaling and B. J. Novak),
right
, Mark Seliger Photography (Mindy Kaling and B. J. Novak);
15.1
: White House/Chuck Kennedy (Mindy Kaling with President Barack Obama);
17.1
,
17.2
,
17.3
,
17.6
: guteksk7/Shutterstock (text message bubbles);
17.7
: Maxi_m/Shutterstock (emoji);
17.4
,
17.5
: Natalia Sheinkin/Shutterstock (email draft background art).

All other photographs courtesy of Sonia Kharkar or the author.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mindy Kaling is the creator and star of the critically acclaimed series
The Mindy Project
. Her first book,
Is Everyone Hanging Out With Me? (And Other Concerns)
, was featured on the
New York Times
Best Sellers list. She also starred as Kelly Kapoor on the Emmy-winning series
The Office
and wrote twenty-four episodes of the series, including “Niagara,” which scored her an Emmy nomination. She has been named one of
Time
magazine’s 100 Most Influential People. Kaling starred as Disgust in Pixar’s
Inside Out
and made her film debut in Judd Apatow’s
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
. She lives in New Hampshire and doesn’t own a television.