Wicked Autumn (32 page)

He thanked Mrs. Hooser now and she turned to leave; the broom she carried just missed sending all the magazines and papers on a table near the fireplace to a fiery death.

“Oh,” she said, turning again, and doubling her chances of leaving chaos in her wake. “I nearly forgot. She’s here. The witchy woman.”

She could only mean Awena. “Please show her in, Mrs. Hooser. And whatever you do, don’t call her that.”

Awena bustled slowly in, swathed in folds of brilliant fabric, as always looking like a queen on a stately progress. Thea, knowing better than to jump, instead threw herself in a rapturous heap at Awena’s feet. She seemed to consider Awena something of a soul mate.

“I’m on my way to tonight’s Women’s Institute meeting,” Awena said, briefly bending down to caress the top of Thea’s head, “and thought I’d drop in and say hello. We haven’t really spoken since you rounded up those two cretinous thugs.”

“Good heavens. Is it that time again? I did hear Suzanna had taken up the reins of power.”

Awena nodded. There was a glint of mischief in her eyes that should have forewarned him.

“Big changes are afoot,” she said.

“Really?” Refusing to be drawn, he started to turn back to his sermon.

“Don’t you want to know?” she demanded.

“Don’t you want to tell me?”

“Very well. If you insist. Be among the first not on the distaff side to hear: the Nether Monkslip Women’s Institute is going to make a calendar.”

“They do that every year, I thought. So you can only be saying…”

“That’s right. A nude calendar. Well, not
completely
nude, but…”

“You mean, like the North Yorkshire women in
Calendar Girls
?”

“Exactly. Miss Pitchford is positively scandalized.”

This could only be Suzanna’s idea, he thought. Suzanna, with her pinup looks.

“Who else is involved?”

“Oh, you know. Elka. Lily.”

Lily?
“That is supremely hard to imagine,” he said aloud. “How did she ever get talked into it?”

“Talked into it?” repeated Awena. “She’s one of the most avid supporters. She’s a changed woman, since she’s started seeing the Major. She’ll be posing with her spinning wheel.”

Good heaven.
“I’m going to have to start getting out about the village more,” Max said.

“He’s been ‘squiring her about,’ as only the Major could do,” Awena told him. “It’s a real old-fashioned courtship. He calls her ‘Little Lady.’”

“He actually called her that? Good Lord. It’s like a line from a bad John Wayne film.”

“Which one? All his lines were bad. Anyway, she seems to like it. She has come into her own, our Lil. She worships him and his accomplishments, as she sees it. Love is strange.”

“Ah,” said Max. There seemed no other possible response.

“But she’s playing the field, in the most genteel way imaginable,” Awena assured him. “Keeping her options open. Smart girl.”

“So. Who else is going to appear in the calendar?” Max asked.

“Oh, you know. Me, for one.” She practically shuffled her feet, examining one beaded shoe, then another. “I’ve agreed to pose wearing a witch’s hat, stirring toil and trouble in a black caldron.”

Really. “That’s … nice,” he said.

“It’s for charity,” she told him. Her eyes were gleaming; clearly, she couldn’t wait for the opportunity.

Max reflected that the last time he’d heard the phrase, “It’s for charity,” things had not turned out well. This time, he felt in his heart, would be different.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

WANDA BATTON-SMYTHE
—The formidable and much-feared head of the Nether Monkslip Women’s Institute. Her stewardship of the annual Harvest Fayre netted her many enemies.

LILY IVERSON
—Owner of a local knitting and textiles business, timid Lily was much put-upon by Wanda.

SUZANNA WINSHIP
—Lily’s champion and sister of the local doctor. The vampy, ambitious Suzanna often felt restless in the small village.

ELKA GARTH
—Owner of the Cavalier Tea Room and Garden, and mother of the feckless Clayton, she was pressured by a relentless Wanda to donate her services for the Harvest Fayre.

AWENA OWEN
—Owner of Goddessspell, the village’s New Age shop. Down-to-earth Awena predicted cosmic consequences if Wanda were not brought under control.

MAXEN “MAX” TUDOR
—A former MI5 agent turned Anglican priest, he thought he’d found a measure of peace in the idyllic South West English village of Nether Monkslip—until murder invaded his Garden of Eden.

GUY NICHOLLS
—Chef and restaurateur, he was also dragooned by a persistent Wanda into donating his services to the Fayre.

DR. BRUCE WINSHIP
—An expert in general ailments, he reveled in theories of how the criminal mind operates.

MAJOR BATTON-SMYTHE
—Wanda’s long-suffering husband, he claimed to be quite fond of his wealthy wife.

TARA RAINE
—A lithe, attractive yoga instructor, she rented studio space at Goddessspell.

FRANK CUTHBERT
—Local historian, author (
Wherefore Nether Monkslip
), and husband of Mme Lucie Cuthbert, who was proprietress of La Maison Bleue, Frank clashed with Wanda over his beloved books.

MRS. HOOSER
—Max’s housekeeper at the Vicarage, and the mother of Tildy Ann and Tom.

NOAH CARAWAY
—Wealthy owner of Noah’s Ark Antiques and of Abbot’s Lodge, site of the fatal Harvest Fayre.

CONSTABLE MUSTEILE
—An officious man, he was the first official on the scene of the crime.

DETECTIVE CHIEF INSPECTOR COTTON
—The kinetic DCI was dispatched from Monkslip-super-Mare to investigate a most suspicious death.

DETECTIVE SERGEANT ESSEX
—DCI Cotton’s assistant.

MISS AGNES PITCHFORD
—A retired schoolmistress, prim Miss Pitchford was a walking cross-indexed repository of all village gossip.

JASPER BATTON-SMYTHE
—Absent son of Wanda and the Major, and a talented young man with a burgeoning artistic career.

LAWRENCE HAWKER
—Jasper’s friend-turned-enemy from his school days.

LYDIA LACE
—Acolyte at St. Edwold’s, she knew she was not just seeing things when she spotted a killer.

ALSO BY G. M. MALLIET

Death of a Cozy Writer

Death and the Lit Chick

Death at the Alma Mater

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

A Thomas Dunne Book for Minotaur Books.

An imprint of St. Martin’s Publishing Group.

WICKED AUTUMN.
Copyright © 2011 by G. M. Malliet. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

www.thomasdunnebooks.com

www.minotaurbooks.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Malliet, G. M., 1951–

Wicked autumn : a Max Tudor novel / G. M. Malliet. — 1st ed.

p. cm.

“A Thomas Dunne book for Minotaur Books.”

ISBN 978-0-312-64697-4

  1.  Vicars, Parochial—England—Fiction.   2.  Murder—Investigation—Fiction.   I.  Title.

PS3613.A4535W53 2011

813'.6—dc22

2011019523

First Edition: October 2011

eISBN 978-1-4299-8389-1