Wicked Steps (21 page)

“Oh, I get it. I’m to be objectified sexually?”

She slapped me playfully. “You sold a painting of your dick to my gallery.”

“Got you to notice me, and right away if I remember correctly. You appeared extremely fixated on that piece. If it weren’t for that cock, you wouldn’t have let me fondle you.”

I watched as her cheeks turned pink. “Please. We need to stop talking because all I can think about right now is screwing you,” she said in a quiet gasp.

There was something suggestive if not downright dirty about a sophisticated older woman using the word screw.

“Really, Mrs. Wick, you shock me. We can pleasure each other without ‘screwing.’” I let my hand ghost across her crotch. She sucked in a breath as I felt her body go taut beneath my touch.

Her hand settled on top of mine as she pushed down. “Don’t call me Mrs. Wick. He’s dead and so is that reference. As soon as my life settles into organized chaos, I’m changing it back to my maiden name.” She went silent and her eyes closed as she bit her bottom lip. “Don’t stop. Right there. Jesus.”

I slid her pajama pants down and toyed with her soaked panties. I knew I should stop, but I needed some release and so did she. My dick tented my loose pants as I placed her hand against my crotch. I swallowed a groan as she traced my erection, then allowed her touch to slip under my waistband. Precum had already beaded heavily on my engorged head, and she used it as lubrication, her fingertips dipping between the rings and stroking me down to the base. My cock throbbed as she fondled my balls and played with my sack ring. I couldn’t decide if this was pleasure or torture.

I licked my fingers and used them to divide her folds. I kept my thumb anchored to her pussy as I allowed two digits massage her clit. She was swollen and tense.

“You’ll say something if I hurt you. It didn’t occur to me until right now that this might be uncomfortable after today.”

She shook her head. “Don’t stop. I want more. Please. Right there.”

I swallowed her moans with a kiss as I began to rotate her nub in a circle. She followed my lead by sliding her hand faster along my cock. As the pressure of impending orgasm began, I swelled in her grasp. My senses became saturated with the sweet aroma of arousal as her climax bathed my fingers. My own release gushed into her hand as I groaned in relief.

“Damn.” I could hardly catch my breath to speak. “That was much better the second time. Maybe because this time you had your hands down my pants, too. You appear to have a wicked stroke, Elle.”

I removed my hand from her. “Would it embarrass you if I licked my fingers? I can’t let this confection go to waste.”

She took my hand and put them to my lips. I inhaled the scent as I tasted each one. I heard a sigh as my tongue laved every inch of skin. I kissed her, then pushed a glistening finger into a willing mouth. Our eyes stared at each other in this heated moment as she savored our combined flavor. I had been the recipient of many sexual acts, but this was the single most erotic pleasure I’d ever known. This woman moved me in ways that both thrilled and terrified me.

It had always been about the sex. The release. About myself. Now everything was about her.

I no longer wanted everything to be about me. Sex had never been intimate or personal. It was way to get off, to receive pleasure with no regard for the other person. And as enthralled as I was with these new feelings, they scared the hell out of me. I’d never let anyone get close enough for me to care. I never wanted to know loss again. I’d chosen to be a singular entity. I had closed myself off. This could end up destroying her and me.

She knew I wasn’t good, not for her. Occasionally, I would see the doubt linger in her eyes, and I knew she was having a mental debate.

If I were truly a good man, the minute she received a clean bill of health, I would make sure she had the deed to the gallery and my father’s estate in full. If I were decent, I would go back home and forget her. All of this would become a memory of the past. But leaving her would represent loss. No matter how I defined it, it would always be a reminder of
what if
.

This between us was unchartered waters, I think for both of us. But if I did surrender and stayed, I’d ruin her life. I knew me. She could try has hard as she wanted—hell, I could try—but changing me… I wasn’t even sure God would be up for that challenge.

Ellery

I sighed in contentment as I gazed at the tattooed marvel lying next to me. Damn, but he was pretty. I began to outline his eyebrows with my fingertips, then let them flutter across his cheeks, stopping short to linger on thick, perfectly bowed lips. I kissed his brow as I swept one hand through his hair. The heavy stubble on his jawline, now days old, made him appear older.

I let out another sigh, this time one of frustration. If only the age difference were the problem. New York society could forgive that. The city overflowed with mature women that had “boy toys.” They loved flaunting them at gatherings. The elite were extremely tolerant of minor infractions.

But Kieran Wick, he wasn’t minor. If I hadn’t been married to Hartman, none of this would be relevant. They would speculate on how convenient the affair was, occurring so soon after his father’s death. There would be heated conversations about whether I contributed to his death. Whispering about how his son opportunely showed up after all these years. And then there was Darcea. Even his poor mother’s name could end up smeared under their scrutiny.

I hated the fact that in order to spare him, I should walk away. I quietly mourned. I didn’t know if I was capable of saying good-bye to the only man I ever genuinely cared for.

Really, all of this was moot until the tests came back. Maybe I’d never have to choose. I knew he had sexual desire for me, but that was quite different from the way I felt. And I would never share those feelings with him. I couldn’t take the chance that, to him, I was just another conquest. Actions spoke louder than words. And regardless of his many speeches in the last few days, reality might set in for him. If I wasn’t ill, then he could walk away without any guilt.

“Good morning.” His voice startled me. “You look deep in thought. It’s much too early to be so serious.” He grabbed my hand and shoved it under the blanket. He was rigid as steel. My acknowledgment of his hard-on made him arch his brows.

I snatched back my hand and exhaled. Three more days of foreplay would either kill me or drive me insane. We both needed to get our minds out of the gutter.

“Why only your arms and no color?” I asked as I trailed a fingernail down his inked arm.

“The tattoos?” he questioned, and I nodded. “I never wanted more than sleeves. My ink symbolizes the darkness and gray I’ve had in my life. They’re like a photographic journey of where I’ve been and what I’ve done. Maybe one of these days, I’ll want to venture out and get some on my back or chest, possibly even color, but for now, I’m happy with these because they represent an extension of my past.”

“What about the piercings. Didn’t it hurt to have them put holes through your cock?”

He started to grin. “I’ll admit going through the lorum procedure is not fun. It was more uncomfortable than painful. It takes a long time to heal, but once it does, the sex can be amazing.”

I winced at the thought of the process, but I’m sure my expression changed to agitation, wondering how many women had experienced his jewelry.

“I was considering removing all of them,” he announced as my eyes went wide with his sudden declaration.

“Why would you do that? You went through all that pain. Why get rid of them now?”

“Would it make me sound like a greedy pig if I told you I was doing it because I want to be completely bare? I want no obstructions when I’m inside you. And I’m not sure if I need them anymore. I would keep them if you asked me to. Your opinion is the only one that matters. I know that sounds weird, but it’s what I was thinking. I know we can’t do anything right now, but maybe this weekend. When we get the green light, I plan to fuck you in every room, on every piece of furniture, in every position—there might even be food groups involved.”

I chuckled. “That’s quite a menu you have planned. When you say food groups, are you referring to cake?” I asked optimistically, smiling, then frowning. “And what if the doctor gives us the red light?”

He shook his head adamantly. “I’m using the power of positivity here. Let me hear you say it. We
will
be able to fuck. I need you chant it and believe it.”

I laughed as I poked him with my elbow. “Don’t you think the incantation should be more about my health and less about us having sex?” I whispered. “I don’t want to get all excited just in case it doesn’t go our way.”

“Can’t we pray for both? If you’re healthy, we get to have sex. It’s a win-win in my book. I’m so confident that I’m hoping when we go back for the results, you’ll ask Keith for some kind of birth control. We’ll use condoms until it kicks in.”

“I’m already on birth control.” I watched his eyes light up as though he’d just won the lottery. “I’ve had an IUD for years. I had it put in right after I became suspicious of your father. I could never be positive that at some point he wouldn’t actually take me, traditionally. The thought of having his child terrified me, so I wanted to make sure that would never happen, and having birth control helped my odds. I had Dr. Eisley replace it with a new one because condoms aren’t foolproof either.”

His smile warmed me. I slid my hands down his abs as he turned toward me, pulling my bangs out of my face. “I know we’ve had sex before, but I want to make love to you, Elle. I’ve never made love to anyone before. I want you to be my first and hopefully my last. I want to be the one who shows you true ecstasy and passion. I know you’ve been with others, but I think my father soiled your conception of pleasure. And I didn’t help the cause by being a self-centered prick. I can’t change what I did, but I think we can heal each other.

“I’ve felt like a wanderer for seven years. I have a beautiful apartment in Paris, but honest to God, I have never felt at home until I was inside you. It’s where I’m supposed to be. I think you and I are meant to be.”

A tear slipped down my cheek as I bit back a sob.

“Baby, I didn’t say all that to make you cry. I spent years forcing myself to be immune to emotional females, but just one single tear and you virtually bring me to my knees. Don’t be sad. I know the road to this point was precarious because I was such a bastard. And I know we may have struggles ahead of us, but I will make it worth it. I promise.”

I sniffled as he crushed me to his chest. My life’s plan, my sole goal, was now in jeopardy of collapsing because I fell for a younger man.
And not just any man, but my stepson—I’m such an idiot.
Everything I’d done, every path I’d chosen, had been about owning the gallery.

I was organized. I made to-do lists, and those had never included a relationship. I had swerved once and disrupted my own aspirations. Hartman had left me emotionally and physically impoverished. It was true I owned a major portion of my painful past. I’d allowed him the authority he held over me. But to do it again, especially with his son—I didn’t know if I could ever trust Kieran with my heart. The feelings I had made me too vulnerable. Was that what he wanted? Was this more than just a victory to him? It sounded as though he wanted a future together.

We spent the rest of the week living in domesticated bliss. He asked me to stay home, but I needed to work. Being with him all day not only tempted me, but also gave me too many things to worry about. I needed to be active because my mortality was never more than a thought away. Coco wanted to talk about it, but I shrugged it off. I needed to keep busy and distracted, and revealing my “feelings” to her would only make me contemplate all the obstacles ahead.

While I was gone all day at the gallery, Kieran painted. He still wouldn’t let me peek at any of his new work. Temperamental artist, he claimed. We had late suppers and watched bad reality TV while snuggling. We slept together, but neither of us ventured past a kiss. It was too hard for us to stop at first base.

My Friday appointment finally came. We arrived at Dr. Eisley’s office around eleven. I knew Kieran wanted to be my support, but I needed to get the results by myself. I couldn’t bear to see the pain in his eyes if the news was bad. It had been a long few days, and even though we both had pretended otherwise, the truth was we were both terrified.

The nurse looked at me with thoughtful eyes as she took my blood pressure. “It’s a little high compared to last time. I’ll take it again later after you’ve calmed down a bit.”

Calmed down? I was prepared to jump out the window. After the nurse left, I stood up and paced. I read the health advice on the walls. I flipped through the provided magazines. I was just about to start raiding the cabinets when the doctor walked in.

“How are you today, Ellery?” He set a thick file folder on the counter as he sat on his swiveled chair. He rolled it over to me. “The nurse told me your BP is rather high. Let’s see if we can get that to normal.”

I’m sure I looked panic stricken because I was. “I’m so anxious I’m ready to climb out of my skin. I need to know. Good or bad, just tell me.”

He took the file in his hands and began flipping through it. “Your tests all came back negative. I’d say you’re extremely healthy. I wish half my patients had numbers like yours. Your blood work was spot on. Now let’s see if that news inspires a lower blood pressure reading.”

I felt as though I were having an out-of-body experience. I was okay. Hartman hadn’t given me anything. I was healthy.

I needed to share this news with Kieran, because I knew he was currently going out of his mind with worry. “Can you ask Kieran to come back here?”

“No problem. I’ll have the nurse come in and retake your BP, then bring him back.” He stood and patted my hand. “This is a good thing, Ellery. This kind of news should revitalize you and give you a new lease on life. Think of it as a starting point. I’m sorry what Hartman put you through. It’s a shame, but as a physician, we aren’t allowed a personal opinion due to ethics. But after examining you and seeing the remnants of what you went through, I don’t give a damn about keeping my mouth shut. He was an animal, a savage and deplorable human being. And I’m relieved you get this second chance.” He lowered his head to my ear. “Be patient with that boy. He’s always been kind of a wild card. It appears you have a calming effect on him.”

Oh, the stories I could tell this doctor. In a short amount of time, Kieran and I had gone through a gamut of emotions. I think the only reason he appeared calm was he was exhausted.

A few minutes after the nurse took my vitals again, he walked in with Dr. Eisley. A huge smile etched his face as he looked at me in conformation. “So when can we have sex?” he blurted out loudly.

I swear my entire body blushed. This man had absolutely no shame. I wanted to reprimand him right there, but I was too embarrassed to move.

Dr. Eisley chuckled as he spoke to me. “Never mind him. Nothing he says shocks me anymore. I told you he’s kind of wild card.

“Now, as for you, Mr. Wick, remember what I said about restrictions. A clean bill of health does
not
give you license to ignore my instructions. As far as sexual activity, I’d say you’re good to go. But do me a favor, please. I have a full house in the waiting room, so can you keep it in your pants until you get home?”

“Oh please, I’m sitting right here. Before I’m so mortified I’ll have to sneak out the back, will you both stop? Dr. Eisley, I’m appalled. You’re as bad as he is,” I said, smirking.

“Well, I did warn you I’ve known this kid for years, and he kind of grows on you. You can take that any way you want, even as a warning.”

Dr. Eisley exited the room, leaving us alone.

Kieran kneeled in front me. “Knowing everything my father did to you and finally finding out his reign of terror is over is a gift. I’m so grateful you’re healthy. I want to celebrate this moment every day.”

I played with his hair as he laid his head on my lap. Three words were stuck in my throat. I forced them back down because I wasn’t sure what they would mean for us. I didn’t want this to be one-sided, and I certainly didn’t want him to feel obligated to reciprocate the feeling.

He looked up at me with a slanted and a notoriously wicked grin.

He pulled me from the chair as he stood. “I realize we did the whole foreplay thing already, but I may have to nibble just a little to keep me sated until we get home. I plan to do nothing but fuck you the entire weekend. That’s my plan, so grab that to-do list and make it yours.”