Wicked Weaves (25 page)
Authors: Joyce Lavene,Jim
The snake charmer and the Village idiot were my first choices. The charmer’s snake was too pathetic to ever get many tips. And the idiot was too, well, idiotic. Most people ignored him sitting on the ground banging pots and pans together.
Chase walked with Jah and me over to Wicked Weaves with a stop for breakfast at Fabulous Funnels. They were the best funnel cakes in the Village. I liked mine with strawberries and powdered sugar. Jah refused to eat his, so Chase ate it instead.
The Village was busy, considering it was still early. The Green Man was practicing the new routine of picture taking with visitors held between her branches. It was impressive and scary. The fairies were holding a gathering. I didn’t realize how many of them there were until I saw them all together. They met around the fountain in front of Da Vinci’s Drawings. Sam Da Vinci was outside drawing the multitude of fairies, or whatever it is that fairies come in. They were a pretty sight; all multicolored and gauzy in the sunlight. All of them giggled and called Chase’s name as we walked by. I ignored them. Fairies could be pesky and problematic. There was no sense in borrowing any more problems than I had already.
Mary was back. I rushed up to her and hugged her. “I’m so glad they let you go.”
“Me, too.” She looked at Jah. “What’s going on?”
Jah finally found his voice. “I’ll tell you what’s going on. These people have pressed me into servitude despite my telling them I wouldn’t do it. They locked me up overnight. When this is over, I’m going to find a lawyer and close this place down.”
Mary looked as though she was considering what he said. “So you found out you’re not above the rest of us.”
He lifted his chin a notch higher. “I’ll always be above this rabble.”
“Maybe,” I added. “But for the next three days, he’s going to work here at Wicked Weaves. He was trespassing and had the choice of doing this or going to jail. For some reason, he chose this.”
“I don’t want him here if he doesn’t want to be here,” she said.
Great.
Now she was going to be difficult. I wasn’t in the mood for it. I mean, where was the gratitude? “Too bad. He’s already been assigned here. I’m going with Chase to the police station. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Now she was going to be difficult. I wasn’t in the mood for it. I mean, where was the gratitude? “Too bad. He’s already been assigned here. I’m going with Chase to the police station. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Chase stared hard at Jah. “You better be here when we get back.”
“You have my driver’s license and bank card. Where else would I be?” Jah stared back but not as effectively as Chase.
“So now that everyone is happy, we’ll see you all later.” I smiled and waved as we walked out of the shop. “Yeah. This is going over real well.”
Chase shrugged. “Give it some time. It’ll work out. Like you said, Mary’s a great woman. Jah will come around.”
“I just don’t know if you can expect that in three days.”
Detective Almond pulled up next to us at the main gate. He stepped out of his car, and an officer, who looked like he was in drag, got out after him. “I think I’ve finally come up with a plan to solve this problem.” Detective Almond looked at the man beside him. “This is Officer Tom Grigg. He’ll be stationed here at the Village until we catch this culprit. We even put him in costume so he’d fit right in.”
I couldn’t look at Officer Grigg without laughing. He’d only fit in if this was Rocky Horror Picture Show Village. He didn’t look the least bit historical. His costume must’ve come from prostitutes the police had busted. I didn’t know what the makeup was all about. And I didn’t know how to say it without making Officer Grigg feel ridiculous.
“I’m glad you’re here, Detective.” Chase bypassed the subject by giving him the monks’ robes we’d put into large trash bags. “I bagged this one by itself. It was found in a hole in the Village wall along with this.” Chase produced the cardboard funnel Jah had pulled from his pocket.
Detective Almond examined the funnel in the plastic bag. “It’s not exactly forensic evidence, but I guess it’s better than nothing. We might be able to use these things for clues, but we’re gonna need a confession.”
“We’ll get one with me here, sir,” Officer Grigg promised.
I ignored the way the sun brought out the heavy red rouge on his face and the red lipstick. “In the meantime, this must count for something.”
“No doubt.” Detective Almond looked up from the funnel.
“The doc found some pieces of cardboard wedged in the decedent’s teeth. I can see where there are tooth marks on this thing. That’s the only thing that’s kept Miz Shift out of jail. That leather funnel she had didn’t test right. I guess this is what we were looking for.”
“We should bring in the boy who found this,” Officer Grigg said.
“Let’s give this some time, Grigg,” his boss said. “We’ve been running around like a rooster after some hens. Let’s see if you can get us some real answers. The three of you keep your eyes and ears open. You’ll have Grigg if you need any help. You two,” he pointed to Chase and me, “know this place better than either one of us ever will. There’s a killer here somewhere, folks. Let’s not make the mistake of thinking he or she might not strike again.”
Officer Grigg nodded and pulled uncomfortably on his corset. His fishnet stockings were tight on his hairy legs. “Don’t worry, sir. We’ll find out what’s going on.”
Chase nodded in agreement. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing, too. “Yeah. We’ll keep an eye on everything. But let us know if anything comes back from the robes or the funnel that might help. I haven’t slept very well since the murder thinking about the killer still walking around the Village.”
“I’ll do that, son. You all be careful out here.” Detective Almond hitched up his pants and got back in his car.
Officer Grigg looked at Chase. “I understand you’re what passes for the law here.” He looked at the tall gates where the young maidens of the Village had begun gathering to throw rose petals at visitors as they came in. They were giggling and simpering at Chase as well. It almost made me wish I’d fallen for a less hunky guy. Almost, anyway.
The town crier was laughing at Grigg as he tried to read the news of the day. Grigg looked even funnier with rose petals in his dark hair. Something had to be done if he was going to blend in.
“I’ll take Officer Grigg to costumes.” Chase raised his voice over the sound of the musical quartet beginning their daily round of song.
“I’ll keep an eye on Jah,” I promised. “I hope we’re doing the right thing not telling Detective Almond about him.”
“I think we both agree the only thing he’s guilty of is trespassing.”
“But what if we’re wrong?”
“It’s not like the police have been able to figure this out any better than us.”
I agreed with him and glanced at Grigg, who was watching the organ grinder with his monkey. “Make sure you clean his face. There was lipstick and rouge during the Renaissance, and men wore it as well as women. But most people don’t know that.”
Chase laughed. “Don’t worry, Jessie. I’ll take care of the details. I was just thinking that we lost Tom, Tom the Piper’s Son a couple of days ago. Officer Grigg could fit right in there.”
“That’s a little too symbolic, isn’t it?”
“Around here?” Chase looked at the giant chasing Jack, the Green Man out for a stroll, and a knight attending a young lady in robes. “I think he’ll be exactly what we’re looking for.”
I left him to take care of the problem. Officer Grigg was already looking lost and bewildered. Not everyone could handle stepping back through time.
I was glad to head back to Wicked Weaves. My weaving was right on the verge of competency. If I could get in a few more sessions with Mary, I was sure I could produce a basket. It might not sell for four hundred dollars, but it would be enough for my purposes. I’d planned to have something substantial to go with each one of my craft papers.
I turned to walk back to the shop when I was accosted by the Tornado Twins. They were a brother act that usually confined themselves to one of the play stages. Between acts they walked around the Village drumming up an audience for the next performance.
Both of them were kind of cute and sexy. The only problem was they didn’t mind honking horns or throwing cream pies at the worst possible moments. I’d dated Diego for a few days one summer. When he wasn’t greeting me with a hand buzzer or telling the worst jokes in the world, his brother, Lorenzo, was dropping water bombs on us or throwing cream pies. They were both completely obnoxious.
“Good morning, Jessie.” Diego swept his large, blue-feathered hat off his head as he bowed. “You’re looking very fair and desirable today.”
Lorenzo consulted the plate-sized watch on his wrist. “And it’s early in the morning to be able to say that.” He held out his watch for me to consult.
“I’m not that stupid.” I brushed by them. The watch squirted water, of course.
“Jessie!” Diego turned and ran up to me, grabbing one of my arms as Lorenzo took the other. “Why don’t you write about
us
? You could be our apprentice for a summer.”
us
? You could be our apprentice for a summer.”
“A summer of love.” Lorenzo kissed my hand. “You would
never
forget us.”
never
forget us.”
“Or forgive us!” Diego pinched my butt as Lorenzo honked his little horn.
I slapped at both of them until they moved away from me. “You guys need to find someone who appreciates you.”
“Don’t you mean
two
someones who appreciate both of us?” Diego laughed and was right back at my side.
two
someones who appreciate both of us?” Diego laughed and was right back at my side.
I kicked at Lorenzo as he used a stick to lift up the hem of my skirt. “No. I don’t think you’ll be that lucky. If you can find one woman between you, you’ll be doing good.”
At that moment, there was the sound of trumpets as the queen strolled through the Village with her entire court. Livy was resplendent in blue velvet that morning. Her crown glittered in the sun as she slowly inclined her head to visitors who addressed her as she walked by.
I felt a tug at the side of my skirt and slapped at the hand, thinking it was Lorenzo or Diego. Instead, it was the queen’s royal page. He yelped and gave me an angry look. “The queen requests your presence at the castle this afternoon at three p.m.,” the page said. “I suggest you be there.”
I bowed to the page, who was a high school student from Brooklyn dressed in livery that matched Livy’s costume. “I thank you, Sir Page. I will attend the queen at her command.”
Lorenzo picked that moment to stick his whole hand under my skirt. I reacted instinctively, lashing out with my right fist. I hit him squarely on the jaw, and he collapsed on the ground at my feet.
All the fairies, damsels, maidens, ladies-in-waiting, and even the queen herself began applauding. It was something they all wished they’d done.
Lorenzo laughed. “The view is even better down here.”
Wicked Weaves was busy when I got back. Mary scolded me for leaving her with so many customers. Jah sat in one corner, ignoring the rest of the world. I guess we could make him stay there for three days, but we couldn’t make him like it.
I was a little put out that Mary didn’t seem to be grateful for everything I’d tried to do for her. Here I was, bringing her and her son together, single-handedly trying to solve the murder of her husband and run the basket shop for her. What else could I do?
“How did the class go yesterday?” she asked me after the rush of shoppers had passed.
“It went fine. Ham showed up and was a big help. I think everyone had a good time and learned something.” It sounded good to me.
She sighed and began straightening baskets, ignoring Jah the way he was ignoring her. This was never going to work. How could they reunite as mother and son in three days if they didn’t interact? As usual, I was going to have to take care of this problem, too.
“I’d really like to get started on a new basket,” I told her. “I think I’m past the stage of sticking my finger with bulrush and bleeding all over everything. I think I’m ready to produce something.”
“All right. Let’s give it a try.” Mary picked up her corncob pipe and looked at it strangely for a moment. I wondered if she could tell that I’d had it in my mouth. She pulled on her pink shawl that matched the scarf covering her head, and we moved to the back steps.
I was ready. I cut my sweetgrass to even lengths, tied the knot in the bottom of what would be the base of the basket and then began to work the sweetgrass together. I could feel Jah hovering over me as I began to coil and sew the first row.
“What am I supposed to do?” he asked finally. “You won me, remember? I was supposed to do something, not sit around being bored to death.”
Mary nodded. “So you
do
have a tongue. Likely you have hands and feet, too. The shop could use a sweep, and those shelves need to have the cobwebs swept down.”
do
have a tongue. Likely you have hands and feet, too. The shop could use a sweep, and those shelves need to have the cobwebs swept down.”
Jah didn’t move. “She’s weaving baskets, but I have to sweep the shop? She weaves like she has too many fingers. Her knot is sloppy, and her technique is bad. Why doesn’t she sweep the shop, and I’ll make baskets?”
This would’ve suited my purpose fine. I was prepared to go inside and sweep, leaving the two of them alone on the stairs. I could always work on my basket.
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