Wild Fire (Wilding Pack Wolves 5) - New Adult Paranormal Romance (9 page)

Zoe’s mouth hung open. Everyone—Troy, Skylar, Noah, Owen, and Kaden—were all lying on the ground.

She let out a small gasp, but she couldn’t get any air.

Only when they started to move, picking up their heads to look at her, could she breathe again.

She hadn’t killed them.
Thank God.

But the horror of it had her shaking her head and backing away. She turned and nearly stumbled over Troy’s sprawled out body. He reached for her, but she skidded away from his arms and sprinted for the main house.

She hadn’t killed them…
but she could have.

Somehow—she didn’t even know how—they had ducked down before she had unleashed the fury of her magic. But if they hadn’t been so quick, they would have been cut down just like the still-smoking trees at the edge of the forest. Or blown to pieces like the stump.

There was no way in hell she was ever doing that again.

She had been right all along—her white wolf was too dangerous to live.

Troy was still reeling from the magical blast, but he scrambled to his feet to go after Zoe.

She was hauling ass back into the house, probably heading for her room—which, honestly, was likely for the best. That burst of magical energy that came out of her hands was like nothing he’d ever seen—but it hadn’t hurt anyone. In fact, the blast itself was almost like the shield that protected her in the lab. At least, it felt that way to Troy when it slammed into him. It had been electrical energy, but it hadn’t been essentially destructive. It had knocked him and the others flat, then gone on to scribe a circle of scorch marks around the edge of the field as it dissipated. But by the look on Zoe’s face and the way she was fleeing, she had to think it was much worse.

He called out to her, several times, but she was ignoring him. Fortunately, he was faster, and he managed to catch her just as she slammed the door of her room in his face. He grabbed hold of it, swung into the room, then closed it behind them.

She whirled on him. “Get out!” Her fists clenched at her side. “Can’t you see I’m dangerous?”

He strode straight up to her and took her by the shoulders. “You’re
not
dangerous.” He said it as firmly as he could, but she just struggled against him, growling and crying and thrashing. Her claws came out and dug into his chest, but he just gritted his teeth and pulled her closer, letting her work her anger and fear out on his flesh—it would heal, but right now, she needed someone or something to hold her tight. He wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest like a wild animal that needed calming.

She struggled a little more, then sank into his chest, sobbing. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Her words were half cries and half sobs.

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” he whispered down to her face, which was tucked against his chest. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

She looked up at him with tears still leaking from the corners of her eyes. “How can you say that? I could’ve killed you just now. How can you be this… this…
good
to me? Can’t you see what I am?”

“See what you are?” He scowled, but his loosened hold allowed her to wriggle halfway out. She seemed determined, so he reluctantly let her go.

She folded her arms, wrapping them tight around herself, then backed away from him. “I’m a white wolf, but I can’t fight the Wolf Hunter with that,” she said bitterly, as if he had been forcing her into it. “I’m going to find him with science, not magic.” She angrily unlocked her arms and stomped over to her bed, where the computers were still splayed out. She grabbed up her laptop and yanked it open.

“You can do both,” Troy said softly, keeping his distance.

She curled up on the bed and stabbed at her computer to boot it up. Using the backs of her hands to wipe away her tears, she rubbed hard against her face to clear it. He hated seeing her be so rough with herself.

She wasn’t coming back to him, so he relented and crossed the room to her bed. He closed the laptop, slid it away, and sat in its place. She looked at him like he was impossible, but he could see the tears brimming anew in her eyes.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” she demanded.

He didn’t have a good answer. Because his wolf was singing for her? She wouldn’t accept that. Because he found her hot and sexy? It didn’t seem like the right time to bring
that
up. Because she was crazy smart and stuck in an impossible situation? That was definitely true, but that wasn’t really it, either—it was simply because she
needed
him.

And if she needed him, there was no other place his wolf would let him be.

So instead, he asked, “Why do you hate it so much? Your white wolf,” he clarified.

“You don’t understand.” Her voice trembled, and he felt it resonate deep inside him. He wanted to close the distance between them again and take her in his arms, but he couldn’t. She would just struggle away. Besides, that wasn’t what she needed from him right now.

“Explain it to me.” He held her gaze, telling her with his eyes that he wasn’t leaving until they sorted through this.

“Nothing good has ever come from what white wolves can do.”

“Are you talking about your grandfather? Because Daniel wasn’t thrilled about that guy, either, but he figured out that he’s not his grandfather. Neither is Noah. Just because you’re a white wolf, doesn’t mean you need to be like that asshole. You can be different.”

“I’m already different!” She flung a hand toward the window that overlooked the field. “Did you not just see what I did?”

He tilted his head and peered at her. “Do you know what I saw? I saw a woman whose magic is so instinctively protective, that she kept all of us, everyone in that field, from being injured even when it let loose.”

She scowled at him and leaned back. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you didn’t hurt anyone—and that wasn’t by accident. That’s part of who you are.”

She shook her head and dropped her gaze. “You’ve no idea what I’m capable of.”

“Maybe not,” he admitted. “But I know what you have. A pack. A family. An amazing power. Everything I would love to have. I would give my left arm—”

“You can have it!” She slammed her fists down on the blanket on either side of her. He captured her hands with his, covering them and holding them down. He leaned closer and peered into her eyes. “You’re a good person, Zoe.” It was amazing and confusing to him that she didn’t already know it.

She pulled her hands out from underneath his and folded her arms across her chest again, locking herself down and shutting him out.

Then she glowered at him. “Did you know that the Wolf Hunter is a white wolf?” she asked, carefully watching his expression.

He leaned back. "Really?"

"Yes," she threw back at him like it was an accusation. "And he killed his mother at birth.”

What the hell?
Troy’s disgust must have been showing on his face because Zoe nodded and went on. “Terra told me—when he was torturing her, getting his jollies off on slicing up my cousin, he spilled his whole life story. About how he never knew who his father was. How he grew up an orphan in the foster care system. How he always felt like there was something wrong with him, but he never knew what it was until he saw Grace Krepky come out as a white wolf. And then, as he went back through his records and found out how his mother died, he discovered the monster he truly was.”

Troy had no idea why this had her so worked up, but he just gave her a nod to encourage her to go on. “Okay.”

“And do you know what he found?”

Troy shook his head.

“That he had shifted in the womb and killed his mother at birth.”

He frowned. “That’s not normal, Zoe, you have to know that. Most wolves give birth just fine—”

“No, you’re exactly right. It’s
not
normal. Because
he’s
not normal.
He’s a white wolf.
And so am I. And guess what? My mother died in childbirth as well.”

Oh shit.
“Zoe, I’m sorry—”

She gave a huff of a laugh, but it had no humor in it. “Not as sorry as I am.”

He didn’t even know what to say that. “Zoe, I…” He was stumbling.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know how awful it is. But don’t pretend you know what I am. Or what I’m capable of. Even
I
don’t know… but it’s nothing I want any part of. And nothing I want to pass on.”

He frowned. “So this is why you don’t want a mate. You’re serious about that.”

“Deadly serious.” She wouldn’t meet his attempt to peer into her eyes.

He hesitated and then reached for her hand. She didn’t pull away this time, so he held it gently in his. He waited until she finally looked up and kept his voice as soft as he possibly could. “You’re a good person, Zoe.” She started shaking her head, so he rushed through the rest. “To me. You’re trying to catch the Wolf Hunter. You’re scared of who you are, yet you went out into the field and tried to join in. You tried to help out. Not only are you not a bad person, as far as I can tell, you’re beautiful, brilliant woman. And an amazing wolf. Like Skylar said, you’re a rare combination—but that doesn’t mean you have to do this by yourself. Believe me, I know what it’s like to be all alone. I was one of those kids who was born to a human mother with a deadbeat shifter dad who knocked her up and then took off. I barely fought my way out of the gangs downtown. There was no one to help me. No one to look out for me. But I wanted to be something better than a criminal. Something better than a wolf who had to hide who he was. I worked hard to become a firefighter and then an EMT. Now I have my crew, but this wolf pack thing? I’ve never had anything like this. And now that I see what it’s like, I want all of it. Everything there is to being a wolf. I know you grew up with it, and I know you’re scared of this white wolf thing, but don’t throw it all away.” He pulled her closer. “Let me in, Zoe. Let me be part of your world.” He couldn’t say it any more clearly.

Her eyes were glued to their hands holding one another. She stared at them for a long moment, licking her lips and then biting them. If she kept that up, he wouldn’t wait for her to bridge the gap or say anything—he would just kiss her.

But then she spoke. “You’re a good man, Troy.” She slowly dragged her gaze up to meet his. “Too good for me. You need to leave.”

It was a door slamming in his face, but it felt like steel spikes ramming through his chest. He leaned back and dropped her hand.

“If that’s the way you want it.” He couldn’t keep the sting out of his voice.

She looked away and stared at a point on the far wall, not even facing him. Basically telling him with her body language to get the hell out. He slowly rose from the bed, every part of him, including his wolf, begging him to stay. Howling for him to go over to her and pull her into his arms and demand that she open up to him.

But he had no right to that, no matter how much he wanted it.

Or how much he thought she needed it.

He paused at her door, hand on the doorknob. “I won’t leave the estate. But I will leave you alone.”

Then he left, quietly closing the door behind him.

It had been days, and Troy had kept his promise—he left her alone.

Zoe’s wolf was complaining like one of her limbs had been chopped off.

Here was a man who literally knew more about her than any man ever had, including her own father—and he still wanted her. And she had just shoved him away.

Zoe tried to focus on the reams of data on her screen, but it was all becoming blurred. She told herself it wasn’t tears, and half the time that wasn’t a lie, but she wasn’t getting anything done.

The truth was, she had always shoved away anyone who might get close.
Definitely
anyone who might discover her white wolf, much less want to take her to bed, or God forbid, become her mate. Somehow, Troy had avoided all the obstacles she normally put up. He had gotten around all her defenses. He had saved her life. He had discovered her secret. He had cared about her in a way that no one who wasn’t already family ever had. On top of that, he was insanely sexy… and stupidly stubborn, refusing to give up every time she pushed him away.