Willow Spring (26 page)

“I’ll stay at least until Lucky’s wedding. And I feel blessed that I came back here in time to see you both marry the women you love. I’ll always feel blessed to have found you all.”

L
ogan and Mike sat at the Whippy Dip, the local ice cream parlor, after a softball game in Creekside Park. They’d kicked the other team’s ass, which had lifted Logan’s mood from where it had been the last week or so. And though their games usually came complete with a cheering section consisting of Amy, Rachel, and Sue Ann—and sometimes more—not many people had shown up in the stands tonight due to dreary weather, and despite the win, Logan was kind of glad they hadn’t ended up out with a group afterward.

“My sister thinks you don’t like her,” Mike said, shoveling the last bite of a sundae in his mouth.

Sitting across from him at a picnic table outside, Logan could only blink. “I thought you didn’t
want
me to like her.”

“I didn’t, at first. But now, if you wanted to, I’m thinking maybe it would be okay.”

Logan just rolled his eyes. “You are fucking impossible, man.”

“I know,” Mike said, surprising him. “I flip-flop a lot with her because . . . it’s so strange having her back suddenly. Great, but strange.” And from there, he went on to tell Logan about his dinner with Anna a couple of nights earlier and how unhappy she’d seemed—about everything. And that, in the end, they’d made some peace—again, but that she still wasn’t sure she wanted to stay in Destiny. “Which is killing me. But . . .” Mike shook his head. “At this point, there’s not much I can do except try to back off and let her do her own thing. So . . . if you want to go out with her, you have my blessing.”

Logan wasn’t quite sure what to do with such shocking information. And he didn’t know if Mike would be happy or pissed when he looked up from his own ice cream to say, “What if I don’t want to go out with her? What if I’m not sure?”

“Well, under different circumstances, I might accuse you of leading her on. But I know I played a role in that. And I know you’re still trying to get a lot of stuff sorted out in your head.”

“Thanks,” Logan said shortly, appreciative that Mike wasn’t going to come down on him right now. Then he let out a short laugh at the thought that had suddenly hit him. “You know, some days it was easier just drinking beer and lying on the couch.”

“But that’s the problem with life in general,” Mike pointed out. “You can’t just drink beer and lie on the couch. You have to deal with it.”

Logan only sighed. “I don’t quite know how, but I’ve ended up making a lot of messes lately, and I’m not sure how to clean ’em up. I’ve hurt Amy. I’ve offended Anna. I don’t know what I want out of life, a job, a relationship—anything.”

“Maybe you should have a party,” Mike suggested.

And Logan just blinked his disbelief. That was Mike’s solution? “You think a party is going to fix all this?”

His best friend simply shrugged. “It would just be a normal thing to do. Have some people over for swimming and grilling out, like you used to.”

Hmm, true enough. Last summer he’d had the whole gang over a few times to enjoy his place on Blue Valley Lake, as well as once this spring, and they had been good, easy times. And he’d had some guys over prior to Mike’s wedding, too. So maybe trying to recreate that kind of feeling wasn’t a bad idea, after all. Hell, a get-together almost even sounded fun to him.

“All right then,” he said. “What the hell. I’ll have a party.”

A
my was stressed out. And as someone who hadn’t spent much of life in that particular state, she didn’t like it.

She didn’t know
what
to think about this picnic at Logan’s house. When he’d called to invite her, he’d just said, “Things have been weird lately, and I thought it would be nice to do something . . . fun, and easy. That maybe it would help things get back to normal, you know?”

“I guess,” she’d told him uncertainly. Because she kind of thought it was going to take more than a picnic to accomplish that.

And then he’d said, so sweetly that it had practically curled her toes, “I miss you, freckles. I miss hanging out, talking. It’ll be good to see you.”

“Yeah, I miss seeing you, too,” she’d replied, her stomach fluttering. But after they’d hung up, she’d realized how many questions had been left hanging in the air. Were they back to being just friends now? Or more? And when he’d said he was inviting “everybody,” who exactly did that include? Anna? Surely it included Anna. And what did
that
mean? Were
they
just friends? Or
more?

“I don’t even want to go,” she told Tessa from her bedroom, putting on her bathing suit and speaking loud enough to be heard in the next room. The appointed day for the party had arrived, and the two of them had met for lunch at Dolly’s before stopping by Amy’s apartment to change. It was Saturday, and next weekend was Tessa and Lucky’s wedding, so even though this sounded like a great opportunity to do what Logan had told her on the phone—see all their friends, have fun—she couldn’t quite believe it would be that easy. “I’m too freaked out.”

The fact was, as days had passed, she’d finally begun to accept that maybe everything with Logan was over, including their friendship. And though she’d kept right on going through the motions of her life—opening the bookstore every day, feeding the cats (both the upstairs cat and the downstairs one)—it was killing her. And while she’d, up to now, managed to keep a plastic smile pasted on her face, it was getting hard to hide her sorrow. Her mother kept asking if she was feeling okay, and just yesterday Caroline Meeks commented that she didn’t seem like her usual, perky self.

And then this invitation had come along, somehow feeling both wonderful and awful at the same time. He wanted to reconnect! Yay! But she wasn’t sure in what way. Ugh! She’d get to see him again! Yippee! But Anna would probably be there, too. Sigh.

“And I’d be looking forward to this a lot more if Anna wasn’t coming,” she confessed to Tessa now, who had indeed confirmed that Anna was on the guest list.

“Look,” Tessa said, “just go into this open-minded. Try to have fun.” Though as Amy stepped into the living room, swim bag in hand, Tessa’s jaw dropped. “But you can’t wear that swimsuit.”

Amy just blinked. “What’s wrong with my swimsuit?” The navy blue one-piece had served her well for many years, even if the Lycra was a little frayed around some edges.

Tessa simply blew out a big, tired-sounding breath. “What’s
not?
Change back into your shorts. We have to run by the Daisy Dress Shop on the way and get you a new bikini.”

Amy let her eyes open wider. “A bikini? I’ve never worn a bikini in my life.”

“Then it’s high time you did, girlfriend,” Tessa informed her.

And . . . hmm, maybe that was true. But Amy hardly saw the use. “Tessa, it doesn’t matter
what
I wear—I can’t hold a candle to Anna.”

But Tessa gave her head a pointed tilt to say, “Look, we don’t really want him to be into you strictly for your body anyway—it’s your personality and
you
that he really cares about. But at the same time, we’ve been over this before, Ames, and you at least have to look like you’re . . . a girl. And
that
thing—” she motioned to the navy one-piece “—isn’t doing anything for your feminine wiles. Now come on—let’s go.”

A little while later, Tessa had talked her into a simple yellow flowered two-piece suit that . . . well, even if she wasn’t completely comfortable revealing that much of her body, she did agree that it looked good. And she couldn’t deny that all her friends had always comfortably worn swimsuits like this and that it was just a matter of getting used to it and . . . liking her body, being confident. And maybe, if nothing else, the intimacies she’d shared with Logan had indeed helped her feel more self-assured in that way.

“But I still don’t stand a chance against Anna,” she said, standing in front of a dressing room mirror, Tessa looking over her shoulder.

“Doesn’t matter,” Tessa told her, “because that’s not what this is about. This is about you being a pretty, confident, together chick and letting it show a little. You’re not in competition with anyone today, Amy. Today, just concentrate on being . . . you. And everything will be fine.”

Amy loved Tessa for everything she’d just said. And as she stood looking in the mirror, she even . . . began to feel those things a little more: pretty, confident. And even an awareness that . . . she didn’t actually want to
be
Anna Romo—she liked who she was just fine. And she was glad Tessa had helped her realize all that.

But at the same time, she couldn’t help thinking her friend was making the day ahead sound far simpler than it was likely to be.

Eighteen

She was vexed beyond what could have been expressed—

almost beyond what she could conceal.

Jane Austen, from
Emma

W
hen Amy and Tessa pulled up, Logan’s driveway was filled with cars and Amy could see a small crowd on the dock over Blue Valley Lake. Sue Ann’s little girl, Sophie, and Adam’s twins, Jacob and Joey, ran around the yard, apparently chasing butterflies if the net Sophie held was any indication. The sun shone down from a deep blue sky dotted with only a few puffy white clouds, she could smell burgers on the grill, and there was no denying that it appeared to be an almost idyllic Destiny day.

Still, she had the sense that she should be ready for anything, anything at all.

As she got out of Tessa’s car, the first person she saw was Logan himself. Coming out his front door and looking downright . . . well, the word scrumptious came to mind, in a pair of red swim trunks, he gave her a gorgeous smile. “Hey, you’re here. I was starting to think you stood me up.”

She smiled, instantly liking the sound of that. That he’d noticed. That he’d cared. That his choice of words almost implied coupledom, even if only in a very loose, open-to-interpretation way. “Hey,” she said. “We just . . . ran a little late, that’s all.”
Buying me a bikini so I could try to look hot for you.
And at the moment, he seemed so happy to see her that it warmed her heart and really made her feel a little silly about the bikini.

Until, that is, he approached, giving her a quick once over, to say, “You look great, freckles.” Though she wore shorts over her bikini bottoms, it was clear that he appreciated her new swim look, and that, okay, maybe Tessa had been right on the mark.

She felt the compliment echoing through her breasts as she said, “Thanks,” the word coming out breathier than intended.

That was when Logan leaned in, gave her a warm, lingering hug, and a sweet kiss on the cheek that—oh my—she felt all the way to her toes. And in other places, too. In fact, she hadn’t felt anything move so profoundly and pleasurably through her body since . . . the last time Logan had touched her.

Amazing. She’d have guessed that after sex, something like a mere kiss on the cheek would have barely registered—and yet, she felt it so, so much. And it was in that precise moment when she heard Huey Lewis singing “The Power of Love,” on a radio down on the dock, and she understood it—the power of love—more than ever before.

And she knew:
No matter what happens now, this is going to stay with me, forever. I will always love him. I will never not.
And she knew other people got over lost loves—she’d watched friends go through it, believing it would never happen, that they’d never feel better, and then finally, one day, they did. But Amy just couldn’t imagine a time when she wouldn’t feel completely consumed by Logan’s presence, when she wouldn’t yearn for him, when seeing him wouldn’t cause a million different overwhelming emotions to erupt inside her.

“I’m grilling with Mike in the backyard,” he told her then. “Why don’t you guys join everybody else down on the dock and we’ll be down with the food when it’s ready.”

“Sounds good,” she replied.

And he said, “It’s nice to see you, freckles,” just before disappearing around the corner of the house, and her heartbeat sped up all over again.

“There, you see,” Tessa told her, wide-eyed but quietly. “Everything’s going to go great. This is going to be a wonderful day.”

They grabbed stuff from the trunk then—a small cooler, a couple of camp chairs, and swim bags—and headed to the bustling dock, which was currently flanked by the pontoon boat Amy knew Logan had borrowed from a neighbor for use at the party. Lucky and Mick sat talking nearby, beer cans in hand as they watched Lucky’s son, Johnny, who was eleven, tossing a tennis ball in the water for Cocoa to dive in after. She also spotted Adam and Sue Ann in the water—Sue Ann floated on an air mattress on her stomach while Adam perched near her face, his forearms balanced on the mattress’s pillow. Near the dock’s edge, Jenny and Rachel sat sunning on towels—along with Anna.

Anna, as predicted, looked stunning as usual, in a white bikini that made Amy feel downright drab on sight. She was pretty sure there wasn’t even the tiniest bump, bruise, or flaw of any kind on her entire body.

But when Rachel looked up with a smile to say, “Hey, girls, about time,” Amy pasted on her obligatory happy look and greeted everyone. Though she immediately discovered that she had trouble making eye contact with Anna today. Maybe so much had happened now in regards to them both vying for Logan’s attention that it was going to be more difficult to hide her resentment. Ugh.

“Spread out your towels and soak up the sun,” Rachel went on.

And Jenny said, “Amy, you look amazing. I love you in a two-piece.”

Amy felt the warmth of a blush climb her cheeks as she said, “Oh—um, thanks.”

Tessa and Amy both helped themselves to beverages—and though Amy seldom drank, she decided to go with the flow and reached for a wine cooler when Rachel pointed to the cooler containing them. After that, the girls chatted—about Rachel’s wedding just past and Tessa’s upcoming one, about what a gorgeous day it was, about the orchard, and Tessa’s interior design business, and how hungry they were getting waiting on Logan and Mike, who Rachel dubbed “the two grill masters.” Though Anna seemed quiet and mostly lay stretched out, eyes closed, looking intimidatingly gorgeous.

When Adam and Sue Ann got out of the water, Sue Ann looked Amy over, giving her a thumb’s up and a knowing nod. She moved her lips to say a silent,
Hot!,
which made Amy smile.

And yet, despite herself, Amy just didn’t quite feel at ease here today. She knew she should. These people were her friends, the gang she’d hung out with her entire life. And this was hardly the first swim party she’d been to with them given that Logan had hosted such get-togethers before and that Jenny had lived on the lake growing up, and again for the last few years ever since meeting Mick.

The only new factor she could think of was . . . well, Anna. And her love for Logan. And the fact that Anna had a thing for him, too. When she put all that together, she found herself suddenly scrunching up her nose—Logan had really thought a swim party with both her and Anna there had seemed like a good idea? He’d really thought it would put things back to normal?

Just then, Jenny looked to Anna, who sat, lean and tan, on her towel, staring across the lake as if in deep thought. “Anna, you seem quiet. Is everything okay?”

And Amy’s stomach pinched a little. Why was everyone always so concerned about Anna? No one seemed to notice that
she
might not be her usual, cheerful self.
But then again, Anna lets it show more than I do.
Amy couldn’t help starting to think that maybe Anna was something of a drama queen.

“Sure—just tired I guess,” Anna replied after a lengthy, theatrical pause.

And Amy couldn’t help wondering—tired from doing what?
What does she even do all day?

When Jenny looked perplexed, pleasing Amy, Rachel chimed in to say, “I think it might be a little exhausting to become a full-fledged Romo without much warning. At least
I
knew what I was getting into.”

Everyone laughed lightly, just as Amy knew Rachel had intended, but Jenny turned things more serious again, still addressing Anna. “I’m sure it must still be hard for you, all this change.”

“And I’m sure Mike isn’t the easiest big brother to have,” Sue Ann added, having joined them while Adam went to check on the kids.

“You can say that again,” Anna replied, and everyone laughed. And Amy couldn’t help feeling still more annoyed. Maybe it made her some kind of ogre, but hadn’t Anna gotten enough attention by now? And sure, Amy knew that what had happened to her was tragic, but she never acted the least bit upset—she just pulled that quiet, brooding act that made her seem all sexy and aloof. Either that or she was Miss Outgoing, like the night she’d pulled Logan literally out of Amy’s grasp.

“So, Amy,” Tessa said, “any luck finding a home for Austen yet?” Of course, Tessa already knew the answer; she was clearly just trying to turn talk to something more lighthearted, which Amy appreciated.

“Not yet. And I still wonder if maybe I should keep her, but I’m still not sure if Knightley is up for a roommate. And I don’t think I’d feel good about having a permanent bookstore cat, either—because I thought of that, but I already feel bad leaving her there all alone at night. She needs a real home, not just a store to live in.”

“Everybody here is so into cats,” Anna observed then as if that were bizarre or something.

So Amy replied, with just a touch of pride, “I guess my love of cats has sort of worn off on my friends.”

“I’ve never really seen the appeal of a cat,” Anna said.

And Amy gasped as everyone else fell silent, all looking a little horrified. You just didn’t diss cats around Amy and all of Destiny knew it.

“Did I say something wrong?” Anna asked, eyebrows lifting slightly.

When no one answered right away, Rachel said, “I was never a cat person either, until I moved back here. But now . . . yeah, we kind of love our cats.”

Well, Amy certainly knew who Austen
wouldn’t
be going to live with. Anna Romo.

All in all, it was a welcome respite from the tension when Logan and Mike suddenly appeared, descending Logan’s yard and crossing Blue Valley Road toward the dock. “Dinner is served,” Mike said, carrying a platter of hotdogs and hamburgers. Logan toted a casserole dish of baked beans between two pot holders.

“About time,” Lucky said teasingly, but Amy couldn’t agree more.

Everything else necessary for the meal had already been assembled on two card tables on the large dock, so within moments everyone was up and preparing their plates, grabbing napkins or plastic utensils, forking burgers onto buns. Everyone, Amy noticed, except for Anna, who she assumed preferred to wait for everyone else to finish.

“How’s your chicken look?” Logan asked Tessa, and she informed him it was perfect, thanking him for making something special to fit her dietary needs. Meanwhile, Amy spooned relish onto a hotdog and scooped some baked beans onto her plate.

“Anna, you want a burger or a dog?” Mike called to her.

“I’ll get something in a few minutes when everyone else is done,” she replied from her towel.

But Mike only repeated the question. “Burger or dog? I’m already over here—I can get it for you.”

And Amy felt sort of sick when Anna’s okay-you-win smile made her look even more breathtaking than usual. “All right, I’ll take a burger. You know what I like on it.”

Oh brother, Amy thought. Mike already knew how Anna fixed her hamburgers? But then again, she guessed she shouldn’t be surprised, given how much attention he paid her.

“Baked beans?” Logan asked then in her direction. “Chips?”

And as Anna answered him, Amy thought,
Really? It takes two of you to fix her plate?
Maybe Mike wasn’t the only one who treated her like she was still a little girl who couldn’t fend for herself. And Amy couldn’t even be mad at Anna for it. She could be jealous, though, and she supposed that was indeed the particular sting that vibrated through her chest at the moment. Logan had seemed so glad to see her—but right now, he didn’t seem to know she was alive.

A minute later, as Logan walked to where Anna sat, handing her the paper plate he and Mike had put together for her, he asked, “Need anything else?”

And Mike added, “Something to drink?”

Anna just laughed and said, “You guys are sweet, but I’m fine. I have a whole cooler full of drinks right here next to me.”

Amy was thinking
she
might need another one of those drinks, her wine cooler bottle almost empty now as she took her seat back on her towel, plate in hand, when Mike added, “Well, if you need anything else, just let me know.”

And Amy heard herself say, “Sheesh,” the sound coming out of her completely unbidden.

“What?” Logan asked her.

Amy blinked, caught off guard, by both her reaction and his. “Well, I’m just sure Anna is capable of taking care of herself,” she told him. “It’s not like she’s an invalid.”

And she’d hoped someone might laugh, or chime in their agreement—but no one did. Instead, Logan only said, “I’m just being nice, Amy.”

And her stomach pinched even more now. Because she’d just sounded like a jerk. For maybe the first time in her life. She wasn’t quite sure how that had happened. “Of course. I didn’t mean anything. I just thought maybe it would bug Anna.”

Though clearly it didn’t.

Conversation through dinner stayed light yet felt awkward and a little forced, and Amy wondered if that was her fault. And rather than ask Anna to pass her another wine cooler, even though the cooler containing them was indeed right next to her, she got up, walked over, and fetched one herself.

“Another wine cooler, huh?” Tessa asked.

“They’re good,” Amy said, feeling a little defensive. Everyone else could drink, but the moment she chose to without being prodded, even her good friends felt the need to question her on it?