Will's Galactic Adventure (5 page)

When Will poked his head round the last corner of the corridor before the control deck, he could see that the door was open. Fortunately Cream Tea and Teacake were still looking the other way, facing Mavis and Drych, so Will was able to slide down the edge of the corridor and squeeze in to the corner by the door without being seen. Having got there, he still had no idea what he was going to do. He was in no particular hurry, though, because he supposed that it might take the Mechs a little while to tinker with whatever they were going to tinker with in the black ship. He decided to listen for a while to find out what was going on. The shorter, fatter one was still talking, punctuated from time to time by complaints from the sack.

“So, Mr Dragon, you leave us with a bit of a problem. What I'd really like is to take your ship, but it won't work without you will it? And you aren't very likely to help us are you?”

“Oi! You out there! Let me out!”

“Of course, I have the creature in the sack and the ninja as hostages for now, but I don't suppose that would work for ever. Dragons are far too tricky for that and anyway, from what I hear, a dragon can call another dragon just by thinking about it.”

“Are you listening?”

“Yes, far too dangerous to have a dragon around. And far, far too dangerous to have two. So what am I going to do with you, eh?”

“You could get me out of this sack!”

It was the short, fat one doing all the talking (Spiv was doing the shouting). The short, fat one sounded as if he was the one in charge. From what Will could hear it didn't seem as if the visitors were expecting anyone else to be on board
Brenda
. That was good news; at least it looked as though he was right about having the element of surprise when he eventually came to make his heroic rescue. Once he had thought of something heroic to do, that is.

The short, fat one was still speaking so Will risked a peek around the door. The first thing he saw was Drych, looking straight back at him. The dragon must have seen him but didn't move a muscle. Will took a few more seconds to get a better look at the visitors. The short, fat one didn't have much hair but the few wisps that he had were black and greased down onto his head. He had over his shoulders an expensive-looking, long black coat with a fur collar and a white silk scarf. His arms weren't in the sleeves of the coat and Will could see one hand, the one with the gun, framed in a frilly white cuff. Will got the impression that beneath the coat the short, fat one was wearing full evening dress.

No such doubts about the taller one. He was definitely wearing black evening dress, though nothing like as well tailored as his friend. The trousers and the sleeves were too short and the jacket was too loose. This one had black shoulder-length hair and Will caught the glimpse of a droopy moustache before he ducked his head back round the door.
Definitely an assistant criminal, not a chief criminal
, he thought.

All together a bit disappointing for his first space criminals, Will thought. He would have liked a space suit, or at least some leather and studs – but, hey, he was new to this sort of thing. Perhaps he didn't yet know what was the proper form.

But back to business. What to do next? He was safe enough where he was but he couldn't stay there all day. He didn't really know how long he ought to wait for the Mechs. He was sure Drych had seen him. That meant Drych knew he was lurking outside and would be ready for him when he made his move. He might as well get on with it now.
So here it comes
, he thought,
the heroic rescue
. Will took a deep breath, stepped out into the doorway and shouted:

“Boo!”

The result was remarkable and much more spectacular than he imagined it might be. Several things happened all at once. Cream Tea and Teacake both jumped about a foot into the air then spun round to face Will. They were indeed wearing full evening dress, even including bright red cummerbunds around their middles. As soon as the guns were pointed away from Mavis she uncoiled like a wound spring –

“Aiyaaaaaaaa!”

– leaping high into the air and at the same time, in one flowing movement, producing three rock cakes (as it later turned out) from somewhere inside the folds of her suit and bouncing them one after the other off the back of the tall one's skull. He crumpled into a heap on the floor as Mavis landed in ninja fighting pose, one foot in front of the other, knees bent, flat hands crossed in front of her: “Hayaa!”

Meanwhile, Drych shot out one of his searing blasts of flame that knocked the gun right out of the fat one's hand and welded it to the far wall of the control deck. Then, with a sweep of his tail, Drych knocked the legs out from under him. At the same time he fired off another blast to weld the thin one's gun to the floor where it had landed after Mavis' trick with the rock cakes.

While all this was going on, Will was knocked off his feet by Spiv in a sack hurtling out through the door and off down the corridor like some sort of supercharged caterpillar.

With no more ninjaring to be done Mavis relaxed. “Ah, Will. I don't think you've met. This is Cream Tea,” she pointed to the short, fat one, “and his tall, thin friend is Teacake.”

“What? That's not my name,” said Teacake groggily, rubbing his head and sitting up. “My name's…”

“It doesn't matter what our names really are!” snapped Cream Tea. “They don't know and we're not going to tell them. What's more, they're not going to ask!”

As he said this he swivelled round on the floor and in the same movement something silver appeared in his hand pointing straight at Will.

“Wow! A conjuring trick!” exclaimed Will. “You've certainly got the costume for it!”

“Very amusing. But not so amusing when you realise what this is. Would anyone like to tell him?”

“Laser pencil,” said Mavis, “deadly at close range… well, at any range really.”

Will didn't like the sound of that at all, especially after seeing what happened to the wall of the tunnel when the Mech fired its laser earlier.

“Correct. And it looks as if I have another hostage. Now, I would like to find out exactly how many more little surprises are lurking on this ship. You!” He was looking at Will. “Is there anyone else out there?”

“Well…” said Will, looking past Cream Tea's left ear, “there's that one behind you.”

“Dear, oh dear. Please don't expect me to fall for that old trick!”

“Suit yourself.”

There was a clatter from behind Cream Tea. He spun around and there, looking down at him from behind a panel that had slid open up near the ceiling, was one of the Mechs. Cream Tea fired his laser pencil but the Mech was too fast for him and dodged out of the way. The laser beam splattered some metal from the tunnel wall behind where the Mech had been standing, then the panel snapped shut. Another burst of light, this time from Drych, hit the laser pencil and Cream Tea dropped it with a shriek, blowing on his fingers.

“This is getting to be a bit repetitive,” said Drych. “Will, I assume that you were thinking of returning these two to their ship?”

“That was the idea,” replied Will. “Once the Mechs had made a few changes. Since they're back,” he pointed up to where the open panel had been, “I suppose they must have finished.”

“Yes, I agree that appears to be the case.” With his eyes on Cream Tea and Teacake, Drych said, “I suggest that you two lead the way back to your ship. I think you should go right away.” To emphasise the point he shot a couple of bolts of white fire, which hit the deck just behind their feet, making them skip quite sharply through the control deck doorway and into the corridor beyond.

The procession proceeded back through the ship, Cream tea and Teacake in the lead followed by Drych – who occasionally encouraged progress with a blast of fire – Mavis and Will. Towards the rear of the ship they came to the hatch where the tube to the black ship was connected. Close to, Will could see that it was a flexible tube with ridges round it, a bit like the hose on the vacuum cleaner at home. It was translucent and through it Will could make out the hazy pinpoints of the stars. As they passed along it, it bounced and flexed.

“Don't have any clever ideas about this tube throwing us off balance,” warned Drych. “You'll find that I am not easily put off balance and I'm accurate enough to singe you both without running any risk of burning a hole through to the outside.”

At the far end was the hatch into the black ship. It led directly into the control room. This wasn't like
Brenda
at all; it looked much more like Will expected a spaceship to look. There were banks of control panels and screens all around the walls. In front of the largest screen were two huge padded seats with seatbelts and footrests. On the arms were rows of buttons and knobs. However, on closer inspection, Will could see that the Mechs had been busy. Many of the knobs and switches had been welded solid. Some of the consoles had gaps where racks of equipment had been removed completely. On one large panel to the right, a message in red letters was flashing:

Warning.

Weapons Malfunction.

All Weapon Systems Offline.

“What have you done?” squealed Cream Tea.

Will answered. “I think you'll find that your ship's life support systems will be OK. You'll be able to travel in normal space too, though I don't know how quick you'll find it. The weapons won't work and you won't be able to jump into hyperspace. Oh, and I expect that there is some sort of time delay so that you won't be able to do anything at all with your ship's controls until we are safely back on
Brenda
.”

“That seems quite fair and reasonable, under the circumstances,” added Drych. “Wouldn't you agree?”

Cream Tea was spluttering with indignation. Teacake muttered, “Probably very fair sir. Very fair indeed. Thank you very much, sir.”

This made Cream Tea, who was already red with rage, turn purple.

“Well, in that case I think that it's probably about time that we left,” concluded Drych, “before your friend explodes.”

Drych, Mavis and Will turned back into the tube and the hatch closed behind them. Drych said that they were quite safe now but as they bounced back through the tube Will couldn't help being a bit worried that Cream Tea and Teacake might try and fly away and snap it or something. He didn't relax until they were back on board
Brenda
with the hatch closed firmly behind them.

Back on the control deck the big screen was showing the backwards view down the side of
Brenda
that he had first seen with the Mechs in the maintenance tunnel. However, since he last saw it, the picture had changed a bit. For one thing the tube was no longer attached to them and it was snaking its way back to the black ship as Cream Tea and Teacake reeled it in. For another, the two ships were no longer wedged together. Those Mechs had been busy.

“Quite a result then, all ‘fings considered.”

“Spiv! Where were you during all the excitement?”

“Ah, well, see, I'm not really very good at excitement. More your diplomatic approach from me, see.”

“You didn't sound very diplomatic from inside that sack!” said Mavis.

“Well, see, that's where you're wrong. All part of the diplomatic process, that was. Gaining their confidence, see. Lulling them into a false sense of security. Didn't get where I am today without being able to diplomatise.”

“Had me fooled,” said the ninja.

“Well I don't care wot you fink ‘cos while you were doin' all that fizzical stuff, I got me pictures back! The ones wot they sneakily took of me, the ones wot they've ‘ad ‘idden on their ship and wot I've been chasin' ‘em for, for all this time. Wiv a bit of ‘elp from you lot too, ‘o course.”

“Well done!” congratulated Will. “But how did you manage that? I mean, er…”

“He means,” said Mavis, “that you managed this while trussed up in a sack. Remarkable!”

“Now jus' you wait a min…”

“There are a few loose ends of this story that we need to tie up,” interrupted Drych. “One or two things even I'm not clear about, though I think I can hazard a guess. Once that's sorted out, it will be time to do something about taking Will back to where we found him. He's been away from his studies for far too long already.”

The big screen on the wall of the control deck was still showing the rearwards view. The black ship was still there, getting smaller by the second as
Brenda
pulled away. Will was watching it hanging silently in space. A concerned look crossed his face; he sat thinking for a while longer then asked Mavis a question.

“Mavis, is it OK to just leave them there like that? You know, stranded. In space I mean. Shouldn't we have taken them somewhere? To a police station or gaol or something? Shouldn't you ninjas do something with them?”

“No, there's not really anywhere to take them. If you remember, I told you that the ninjas weren't policemen. It would be too complicated. Think of all the different races living on all the different planets across the galaxy…”

“Fousands of ‘em. Cor, I could tell you about places…”

“Spiv! The boy asked a sensible question. Let me answer it!” Then looking back to Will, “No, Will, all the different races could never agree on a proper punishment, or even on what was a crime.”

“That's true enough. You might be surprised to ‘ear that even I've ‘ad the odd misunderstandin' ‘cos ‘o that sort o' fing. Once nearly got thrown to the fangbunnies on Lycanthrope Twelve because of a misunderstandin' about where I'd parked my shuttlecraft.”

“In a bank vault, as I recall, wasn't it?” Drych asked.

“Jus' tryin to make a deposit. That's usually the way they do it there. Innocent mistake. Could ‘appen to anyone.”

“But it happened to you, Spiv. These things always do. Now, please let me finish explaining to Will.” Mavis continued: “The different races usually get on well enough but they could never agree which set of laws or rules to follow, or which courts to use or which punishments to apply. That's why the ninjas came about. We can't send people to gaol or anything – we just sort of lend a helping hand, where we can. Try and keep things… in order. In balance.”

“So will Cream Tea and Teacake be stranded there forever?”

“Oh no. They'll cool their heels flying around in this solar system for a while then some other ship will come along, they'll make some sort of a deal to cadge a ride or buy a spare hyperdrive engine and they'll be off again. None the wiser, probably, though we can but hope.”

Will felt better when he heard that. “I didn't much like Cream Tea and Teacake but I didn't think they deserved to be lost in space forever.”

“See, that's exactly Mavis' point! The Lycanthropes – they're the ones on Lycanthrope Twelve – they would ‘ave ‘ad them straight in the fangbunny pen and no messin'. You'd ‘ave probably just let ‘em go with a sharp ticking off. Different ideas about crime and punishment, see.”

“This talk of your adventures reminds me that we should ask you how you managed to get your pictures back,” said Drych. “Perhaps that is another adventure that you would like to tell us about.”

It was usually impossible to tell what Drych was thinking because his voice was always so dead-pan and the expression on his face never changed. Still, this time Will did get just the slightest impression that there might have been a hint of a twinkle in the dragon's golden eye as he said this.

“Ah, yes, well… Not sure I can be tellin' all and sundry the tricks of the trade. The wossnames, secrets of my success, you might say.”

“Go on,” prompted Will. “Surely we're not ‘all and sundry'.”

“Quite right,” put in Mavis, “not all and sundry. Comrades in adversity, perhaps, after that adventure.”

The only part of Mavis that Will could see through the folds of her black suit was her eyes, but these eyes really did have a sparkle in them.

“That's right,” continued Will. “Did you have to board their ship and face them on their own ground? Or was it a stealthy espionage mission, taking back the photographs from under their very noses.”

“Well, if you put it like that, I suppose I was the first to face ‘em. Headed ‘em off as they was coming aboard
Brenda
, I did. Gave e'm wot for in that first tussle too. Oh yes, without my delayin' tactics they'd ‘ave ad the drop on all of you sure as eggs is eggs. Well, not the eggs o' the giant stridin' sparrows ‘o Coddle Two o' course. Got legs, they ave, so not much like eggs at all…”

“Spiv!” This was Will and Mavis together. “Get on with your story!”

“Keep yer ‘air on!” Then looking at Mavis he added. “If you got any that is, under all that silk.”

He continued quickly before she had time to protest. “I was tellin' you the story if only you'd listen. Now where was I? Oh yes. Headed them off in the airlock, I did. Cor, wot a to-do. Guns, lasers, you'd have been amazed at all the…”

“Sack,” interrupted Drych.

“Wot?”

“The sack. I'm interested – and I believe I can speak for all of us when I say this – I'm interested to hear how you ended up in the sack.”

“Yes, do tell us about that. I'd like to know and I bet Will would too.”

“Er, yes, well. I ‘aven't got to that part yet. Much later on that ‘appened. You see…”

“Perhaps I could suggest a possible scenario?” suggested Drych. “Suppose Cream Tea and Teacake boarded
Brenda
carrying both your photographs
and
the sack. More than that, suppose they actually had the photographs
inside
the sack. Perhaps they left the open sack lying on the deck. Perhaps – and this is only supposition of course – perhaps you, Spiv, spotted the photographs and in your enthusiasm to retrieve them dived headfirst into the sack. Perhaps Teacake, for it was Teacake holding the sack when I first saw him, perhaps Teacake snatched on the rope and,
voila
, there trussed up before him, was Spiv, safe and sound in a sack?”

“Wot? Well… er… if you're going to get technical there might be a grain ‘o the truth in that. Not sayin that's exactly wot ‘append though. Still, wotever the details woz, I got me pictures back so that's that!”

It took quite a while for the laughing to die down. Drych, of course, didn't laugh, but there were wisps of smoke rising from his nostrils which might have been the next best thing.

“All right,” said Drych, eventually. “We should take Will back to his friends in Wales.”

Will wasn't sure that he wanted to go back. Flying about in spaceships and fighting alien criminals was a lot more exciting than geography field trips. Plus he'd not been here very long and he knew there must be lots more interesting stuff he could learn from his new friends. Mavis must have guessed his thoughts.

“I have to go back too, Will. My home is on Earth too, don't forget. I have to go back to Celtic Cooking and make sure that the business is still ticking over properly. I had to leave old Mrs Pargiter in charge. She means well but she always gets the change wrong and she'll let us run out of teabags unless I keep an eye on them – and NO Spiv, I don't need any cheap teabags even if you have got a shed full of them somewhere!”

“Never said nuffunk.” He was still in a huff.

“I suppose you're right,” said Will. Then he had a thought. “Who's going to make the jumps to hyperspace if I'm not here?”

“Good point,” answered Drych, “but that will no longer be necessary. When the Mechs were… modifying… Cream Tea's and Teacake's ship they er, borrowed a few components.
Brenda
is now back to her former self and we can now make the jumps into hyperspace without troubling you any further.”

“Oh, that's good,” said Will, but he sounded disappointed.

“Don't worry,” said Mavis cheerfully. “You can have your phone back. Look! Here it is.” She produced it from somewhere beneath her robes and handed it over. “The Mechs will have put it back together as it was. In fact, they've probably improved it, knowing them.”

Will weighed it in his hands. It did feel slightly different; it seemed to fit his hand better than he remembered.

“Thanks. But it wasn't just that. The last time I tried to jump into hyperspace it went all wrong because that black car crashed into me. I would have liked to do it again, just one more time. Just to prove to myself that I could do it properly. It's not every day that you get to fly a spaceship into hyperspace and I was hoping that the last time would be a good one.”

“That's not an unreasonable request,” agreed Drych. “You will find a link cable built in to the back of your phone. Take your usual seat. If you look carefully you will find a socket into which you can plug your cable.”

Will looked around but couldn't see a socket. Then suddenly a small panel in the wall, no bigger than the screen on his phone, snapped open and behind it was the socket. Will plugged in the cable. Faintly, from behind the wall, he thought he heard a familiar sound:

Drumdrumdrumdrum.

“It will still be Monaco,” instructed Drych. “This time there are no other ships nearby so you can enter the tunnel as fast as you like.”

Quite why that made a difference Will had no idea but presumably it made sense if you understood about hyperspace.

“Remember, you only have to go into the tunnel. After that it's a steady lap back to the start.”

“An' don't crash. Again.” Spiv was
still
in a huff.

Will switched on the game and for the last time the big screen on the control deck wall showed the starting grid at Monaco. Will was in pole position. And, of course, he was in his favourite red car.

“OK Will, let's do it properly this time!” he whispered under his breath.

Then he hit the button to start the game.

The red lights above the track came on one by one, stayed for a second and then winked out. The race, the last race of his adventure, was on!

Will's fingers took on a life of their own as they flew over the controls. His car rocketed away from the line. The engine roared, the tyres squealed and it was already time for the first gear-shift.

No danger of a skid this time. He rounded the Virage St. Devote and shot past the run-off area that he wasn't going to need today. He slowed for the left-handed hairpin and negotiated it perfectly, following through to the sharp right-hand turn of the Virage du Portier. Then it was foot to the floor (or at least thumb on the button) for a flat out run into the tunnel. Will had no idea how fast he was going – he was enjoying the ride too much to notice – but it felt like faster than he had ever done it before, even when he had been playing by himself at home.

Through the excitement Will felt the slight bump that told him he had successfully made the jump into hyperspace. Although he was having fun driving the car he didn't want to spoil the perfect jump so he slowed the car and cruised around the rest of the lap to the start line, then switched off.

“Not bad, I s'pose. At least ‘e didn't crash this time.”