Wings of Nestor (4 page)

“I don’t know what’s going on. I am so confused right now.”

“Confused about what? I understand why you had to cut our connection, but that isn’t everything. Something else is bothering you.”

“I—I . . .” She grabbed her head. “Ugh! I want to tell you something, but then I am just going to go and ruin it with the next thing I have to tell you.”

“Then tell me the other way around,” Emane said, clearly losing his patience.

“Alcander kissed me.”

“What? That scheming, lying . . .” Emane sputtered. “I knew he was after you from the second I met him. I need to teach him a lesson.” He started to push himself to his feet.

Kiora grabbed him and pulled him back down. “I kissed him back.”

Emane angrily brooded for a long time before Kiora finally had the nerve to ask, “What are you thinking?”

“You could kiss
him
,” Emane said through clenched teeth, “without tossing him across the room?”

“Yes.”

“I see. And which of these details were you ‘scared you were going to ruin with the next thing you had to tell me’?” he asked, mimicking her previous statement.

“None of them. I haven’t told you that yet. I . . .” Kiora clenched her fists together. “I kissed Alcander back because I have feelings for him. I tried to deny it, but it’s true.” Kiora pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around them as if that would protect her. “And I hate myself for it.”

Emane turned his face away.

“But Emane, I lo—”

“Stop!” he nearly shouted, putting up his hand. “Don’t you say it—don’t you dare. Not now.”

“But I—”

“No.” He shook his head, his hair tossing from side to side. “I have waited and waited for you to say that, and I will
not
allow it to be ruined. Or prefaced by the fact that you have feelings for Alcander.” He stood abruptly.

“Where are you going?”

Emane looked over Kiora’s head, his jaw clenched tightly. “Back to camp. You can either take me or I will walk back without you, and I don’t care who feels my thread.”

Kiora had no time to argue—he had already turned and was heading out of the barrier. She jumped toward him, throwing a bubble.

Emane was fuming, and she didn’t need to feel his anger to tell. When they got back to camp, he grabbed her arm before she dropped her bubble. “Since I can’t bubble, I am stuck here, and I need some time to sort through this—without you.”

Kiora stiffened. She deserved that. Stepping backwards, she let Emane slip out of the bubble.

***

EMANE STOOD JUST INSIDE the enclosure, shaking with simmering rage as he stared down at a sleeping Alcander, his hands balling into fists.

Picking up on Emane’s ill intent, Drustan made a noise of warning, leaning forward. “Emane,” he cautioned, “I don’t think—”

“Is Kiora gone?”

“I don’t know.”

Emane’s lips tightened. “If our connection hadn’t been severed, I would have known.”

“You know it had to be done. She was feeling every bit of pain Dralazar was inflicting on you.”

“I am going to wake Alcander up, and you will not interfere.”

Drustan leaned back on his elbows. “If anyone would benefit from my interference, it would most likely be you.”

Emane nudged Alcander with the tip of his boot, hard. “Wake up.”

Alcander leaped to his feet, eyes darting around to find the threat.

“How dare you,” Emane seethed.

Alcander’s eyebrows furrowed as he focused on Emane. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I am talking about! While I was having my flesh burned off, you were kissing Kiora!”

Alcander’s posture straightened, his eyes narrowing. “Watch your tone, Witow.”

“Don’t you call me that,” Emane hissed, shoving his finger in Alcander’s face. “I saved your miserable life.”

“And I yours,” Alcander retorted.

“You have always thought you were better than me.” Emane started circling Alcander, his hands clenching in and out of fists. “Is that what it is? I am not good enough for your Solus?”

“I did not kiss her to hurt you,” Alcander said, turning to protect his back.

“Then why did you?”

“The same reason you did.” Alcander was infuriatingly calm.

“You barely know her.”

“I know enough.”

“Alcander,” he breathed, “I am only going to say this once: leave—her—alone.”

Alcander inclined his chin. “Or what, Emane? What will you do?”

His question caught Emane off guard. “What?”

Alcander took a step toward him. “What will you do?” he asked, raising his voice for the first time. “Will you love her when you are old and gray and she looks barely older than she does now? Will she still love you? Will you ask her to watch you die a slow death as you wither away before her? She is not one of you anymore. She is magical. The magic that runs through her veins will keep her young for hundreds of years. If you loved her, if you
truly
loved her, you would let her go.”

Emane internally deflated. He had heard those words once already, from Drem. In the madness of Dralazar’s torture he had shoved them deep into the recesses of his mind, his heart not ready to relinquish—not yet. “And what—let her go, to you?”

Alcander laughed. “You would punish her because of your hatred of me? Perhaps she and I could find happiness.”

“Enough!” Emane shouted. “Don’t touch her—don’t even look at her! If I so much as see you within ten feet of her, I will—”

“Will what?” Alcander interrupted with a demeaning chuckle. “Fight me? We both know who would win.”

Emane lunged at Alcander, who lazily held him back with a magical shove.

“Emane,” Drustan cautioned. “That is not a good idea.”

“Stay out of this.”

“Drustan is right, Emane,” Alcander said. “Out of respect for Kiora, I am not going to hurt you, but you can only push me so far. My patience wears thin.”

Emane lunged at him again.

***

KIORA WANDERED AROUND THE rocks for a bit, nursing her wounds. Emane had dismissed her. She snorted. What had she expected? A pat on the back and understanding?

What was love? she wondered. It was supposed to be kindness, respect, bliss. She claimed to love, she
thought
she loved, but all she did was hurt. How could the two possibly be connected?

A vision came, slowly this time, trickling in like someone, or something, was trying to hold back the tide.

Jasmine lounged next to Belen on a grassy hill, her hand intertwined in his. “I don’t know what I would do without you,” she told him. “After what my father did, I felt so helpless.”

He put his arm around her, pulling her tight. “What are you going to do?”

She shrugged before snuggling into him.

It was strange seeing her act like this. She had seen a few visions of Jasmine and never once had she looked—well, like this. Demur, mild, and loving.

“I don’t know. I just want my immortality back. Without it, I might die before you.” She looked up into his eyes. “You are so powerful. You will live for thousands of years.”

Could it be? Is that why she kept dreaming about Jasmine? Her eyes—they were the same eyes that found Kiora in her dreams. She was almost sure of it. They were the eyes of the Shadow. She had to tell Alcander and Emane.

Emane! She gripped her head at her own stupidity. She had left Emane in the enclosure with Alcander. He hadn’t wanted away from her—he had wanted time alone with Alcander. She sprinted across the rocks, running back through the enclosure as Emane bounced off whatever defenses Alcander was using. All thoughts of Jasmine fled.

“Stop it!” Kiora yelled.

The two just turned to look at her, silent. No excuses or accusations. She wished one of them would yell at her, tell her this was all her fault. Because it was. She deserved to be called any names they could think of.

Kiora shook her head. “I tried to tell you, Emane. I told you so many times. And I should have told you too, Alcander, but everything happened so fast, I didn’t have the chance.”

“You told me what?” Emane demanded.

“I told you not to love me!”

“That is ridiculous,” Emane started. “I—”

“No! Emane, no. I hurt everyone I love. I hurt everyone who loves me.” She laughed bitterly, staring at the sky. “Up until now, it has felt like some horrible twist of fate that I couldn’t control. But that’s not what this is—I have the control and I am still hurting you.”

“Kiora—” Alcander began.

“No, stop. I want to fix this, but I can’t!” She turned to Emane. “I cannot—I
will
not—tell you that I don’t love you. Maybe it would make it easier if I did, but I can’t! And Alcander, I am not ready to condemn you to a life alone. I wish I had known the stakes before you did what you did.” She hesitated. “Before
we
did what we did. But I know now, and I can’t take it back, and I…I don’t know if I would want to, even if I could.”

Emane’s eyes closed painfully under that confession.

“Emane, you are my Protector. I am the Solus. We can’t spend our time fighting. No matter how unfair it is, the four of us have to figure out where we are going from here, and we cannot do that if the two of you are at each other’s throats.” She stood tall, feigning bravado that was not there. “I need to talk to you, but first I am going to walk out of this boundary to give you some time. The fighting has got to stop. I know it is a lot to ask, but right now, there are bigger things than us.” She turned to leave before adding, “I hate myself for this. I hate myself for hurting both of you.” She wanted to say “I’m sorry” a thousand times, but the sorrys were all too late anyway. Putting up a bubble, she vanished.

***

ALCANDER AND EMANE STOOD silently while Drustan lay on the ground, lounging back on his elbows and looking quite amused with the entire situation.

Emane finally spun on Alcander. “What is she talking about? Condemn you to life alone?”

Alcander glowered at him before glancing at Drustan. “Why don’t you ask Drustan? He’s quite good at explaining it.”

“What are they talking about?” Emane asked, exasperated.

Drustan’s mouth twisted up as if he had swallowed a lemon. “Taveans are…
different
from humans, Emane.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“A Tavean only bonds with one person—ever. When that person dies, or if they leave, they will never bond again.”

Emane’s eyes narrowed. “Are you telling me he bonded with Kiora?”

“Yes.” Drustan shrugged. “To his credit, Alcander didn’t tell her.”

“To Alcander’s…credit?” Emane asked incredulously. “He just bonded with the woman I love and I am supposed to give him
credit
for not telling her?”

“Yes. He didn’t want to put that pressure on her.”

“Who told her?”

Drustan just looked at him. Emane rolled his eyes, breathing in deeply through his nose. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“I didn’t understand what he was trying to do until after I had already told her. I thought she had the right to know.”

Emane clenched his fists. “That selfish, self-centered—”

“Selfish?” Drustan interrupted, jerking up. “Is that what you think he is? Alcander is a lot of things and I can’t say I care for him much, but he was willing to sacrifice his happiness—willing to be alone for the rest of his very,
very
long life—”

“Thanks for
that
little reminder,” Emane interjected.

“—than to put that kind of pressure on Kiora. Do you understand what I am telling you? He was willing to let Kiora choose you over him without ever telling her that her choice would condemn him to solitude.”

Emane fell silent. “But why…why would he…”

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but he loves her.”

Emane closed his eyes. “And she loves him?” His voice wobbled.

Drustan sighed heavily. “I do not know the depths of her feelings for you, so I cannot tell you if she cares for him more than you. I assume that is truly what you are asking. All I know is that for the bond to have formed between her and Alcander, there had to be some feelings on her part.”

Emane sat, hard. “And this mind-joining they did last night—that strengthened this bond of theirs?”

“That was a surprise. Taveans are very protective of their minds. To be honest, I am not sure I fully understand the mind-joining. All I know is they can see and feel—experience—the other person’s thoughts and memories. Kiora now knows more about Alcander than anyone else does.”

“And he her.”

“Yes.” Drustan perked up. “Although, if you would like a bright spot, that means Alcander felt Kiora’s feelings for you.”

This almost got a smile out of Emane. “Too bad it wasn’t enough to make him give up.”

“If the alternative was a life alone, would you give up?”

“Drustan!” Emane growled. “Go jump off a cliff.”

“I certainly could, you know. Not the best retort to a Shapeshifter.”

“Shut up.” Emane pressed his finger and thumb into the corners of his eyes. “Just shut up.”

CHAPTER FIVE

Suspicions Realized

KIORA DECIDED TO WAIT until after dinner to broach her suspicions with the group. The four of them sat silently around the fire, eating some rabbits Alcander had roasted. She had never felt so uncomfortable. Emane and Alcander were both obsessed with either the fire or the meat. Kiora stole glances at them, wishing she could turn her feelings off the way she could turn off her ability to feel threads.

After they had eaten their fill, Kiora cleared her throat. “We need to decide where we are going from here.”

Alcander tossed his rabbit bone into the fire. “We need to get the Lights.”

“Yes, but how?” Emane said. “Unless something happened while I was gone—” He stopped briefly under the irony of that statement. “We still only know where one is.”

“What do you suggest, Alcander? We just march in and take it back?” Drustan asked, smirking.

“Why not?” Alcander said. “We have waited hundreds of years to figure out where the Shadow hid the Lights. Kiora saw where one is, and retrieving one is better than nothing. Maybe one would be enough. Maybe we could avoid a war that would wipe out the rest of our people.”