Winning Her Racy Heart [Racy Nights 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (4 page)

Under those photos was a picture of her and The Sir, taken two years after she’d moved in with him. She was dressed in full leather, and the rosebush tattoo on her right breast was partially visible. He’d held her hand the entire time she’d had the tat done. It was truly beautiful ink. She only wished it didn’t remind her of his parting words every time she looked at it in the mirror.

“You’ll always be my rose, Kari, but I need a fresh bush. Not a dying vine.”

Kari stared at the picture of him, still amazed that after all this time she could smell his cologne, as if it was part of the picture. She put the picture aside and took out the tiny padlocked heart she’d taken from the collar he’d given her. He thought it fell off and was lost when she’d ripped the collar from her neck and flung it at him, but he was wrong. She’d found the charm and kept it, along with the photo that reminded her of the happy times between them.

She fingered the charm again. She missed being owned by a Dom. But The Sir had tried to quash her independent spirit, and that was one reason Kari had found it difficult to find another Dom after he’d let her go. That and the fact she’d been totally humiliated. But it was in her nature to be submissive, and she missed it. She’d be more than happy to give someone that level of control and trust again, if only she could find someone who understood she also needed to be able to make certain decisions on her own.

Despite the way he’d simply let her go, they’d parted on civil terms. That fact couldn’t heal the huge wound he’d left on her heart, but she still couldn’t completely hate him.

Kari sighed as she picked up the picture again. He’d taken her from an insecure, naïve woman who’d had fantasies of being tied up and spanked for longer than she’d ever care admit, to someone who had embraced the lifestyle. But what he hadn’t done was help her grow as a person, not just sexually.

That’s something Adison had never done, either. Then again, The Sir had been a grown man when he’d taken on Kari as a sub. Adison had just been a kid who’d had no idea what the hell he was doing. She and Adison had both been merely playing at a Dom/sub relationship, without a clear picture of what it really meant. She knew it wasn’t fair to compare The Sir with Adison.

Was there a man out there who could give her what she wanted? Did he actually exist? She wanted what most people wanted—to be cherished and loved. She craved to be owned, at least in the bedroom. She loved knowing her man was in total control, and that he understood she gave her submission to him as a gift. But she also needed to be her own person. Owning this business was a dream she wasn’t going to give up for any man. She’d give him the rest of her, but not that.

Kari put all the photos back in the box because tonight the compulsion to burn them was stronger than ever, and she could only imagine what would happen if her neighbors saw a bonfire in the backyard in the middle of the night. She placed the box in the dresser drawer, turned out the light, and curled onto her side to try and sleep.

She and Alexa had a lot to do tomorrow, including fielding the flood of curious onlookers she fully expected, now that the sign was up. Even if her father, Noah, Luke, and Adison kept their mouths shut, she knew word would get around that Kari Tye was opening a sex shop, right in town.

Two days after the sign went up, Kari cleaned the paint off the floor as she watched Noah’s ass and the muscles in his arms while he worked. Her father had stopped by unexpectedly this afternoon with Noah, and after they’d hooked up electricity to the sing, they’d volunteered to finish the plastering. Kari wasn’t about to turn down free help, especially for that messy job.

She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her dream, and seeing him move like this wasn’t helping. She couldn’t help but wonder if his hands on her breasts would feel as wonderful in person as they had in her dream.

Every time he turned around and caught her watching him, he gave her a grin that would melt steel, and she imagined his cock probing her asshole, just as it had been about to in her dream. He was so freaking hot she was going to wear out her favorite vibrator before the new ones arrived, and then she’d probably have to drive into Indy to buy one.

When her father left the room to use the bathroom, Kari seized her opportunity. “Noah, I owe you an apology.”

He turned around to face her. “For what?”

She walked closer to the ladder on which he stood but stopped because she realized she was eye level with his crotch. The bulge in his jeans suggested an impressive cock, and she bit her lip momentarily before speaking again. “The other day when you told me what you do for a living, I was shocked, and judging by your reaction, it must have shown on my face. I’m sorry. I insulted you and I didn’t mean to.”

The smile left his face, replaced by surprise. “That’s okay. Most people are shocked. I mean, come on. I was a screwup, Kari.”

“You’re not anymore. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”

He regarded her with a thoughtful expression. “I am. Thanks.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, and Kari struggled against the images from her dream that were now racing thought her mind. What would it be like to kiss Noah, have his hands on her body, and fuck him? She stared at the hint of stubble on his chin, wishing she could ask him to rub it across her nipples.

When her gaze traveled back up to his eyes, she was sure he was about to say something else, but her father came back into the room and the spell was broken.

* * * *

The next afternoon her shipment of floggers arrived without advance notice. Kari was taking them out of the boxes to make sure the order was right when Adison walked in. He raised his eyebrows and leaned against the wall, arms crossed. The look in his eyes was nothing short of pure molten desire, mixed with amusement.

Kari’s hand trembled as she dropped the whips back into the box. She recalled how his kisses had tasted in her dream, and the feel of his hand on her pussy. Even when they’d been teens, he’d been good in bed. Had his skills matured since then?

She glanced at the truck driver. “Everything’s here. Thanks.” He handed her a clipboard, she scribbled her signature with shaking fingers, and then he left without another word.

“They’re nice,” said Adison. “Did you choose them yourself?”

Kari glanced around at the wall where she’d planned to display them, along with paddles and ticklers. “I ordered them from a catalog.” She crossed to the wall and began to rearrange the hooks on the display. Anything to avoid looking into Adison’s dark eyes or trying to think of something coherent to say.

“Too bad we didn’t have one of those in high school, eh?”

Kari closed her eyes for a second as a strong wave of desire coursed through her.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It just slipped out.”

“No, it’s all right.” She couldn’t turn around right now. She just couldn’t.

“I hope you don’t mind my dropping by.”

Kari glanced back at him, trying not to stare at the way he filled his jeans. He’d always had a nice body. Apparently age hadn’t taken that from him. “Of course I don’t mind, Adison.”

He glanced around the store and shifted his weight. Kari couldn't remember ever seeing him so uncomfortable. “The place is really shaping up, Kari.”

“The downstairs windows are finally getting installed tomorrow, and Dad and Noah came by yesterday and finished the plastering, so we’re almost done with this room.”

She didn’t miss the way his eyes clouded over at the mention of Noah. Was he jealous? Why would he be? He shifted his gaze from the wall to her, and back again. Kari tried to interpret the look in his hazel eyes, but the emotions were passing through them too quickly.

She returned to arranging the hooks on the wall. “Do you want something to drink, Adison?”

“No, that’s okay. I came to talk to you.”

She turned around again and crossed her arms. Adison’s face had angles it hadn’t possessed when he’d been younger. The result was a dangerous, almost predatory look. It went better with his thick, dark hair than the boyish charm had. He may have only been a teen, but he’d known how to fuck. No one could have argued with that.

Kari mentally shook away the images from her past as she averted her gaze and pretended to be absorbed in a missed speck of dried paint on the floor. Was he going to ask her why she’d moved in with The Sir? Did he want to rehash their broken promises to each other? “What do you want to talk about, Adison?”

“Kari, I’ve waited fifteen years to be able to tell you this, and now that I have the chance to, I can’t seem to get the words out.”

The hair on her arms prickled and she crossed them tighter. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how you’ll react when I say this.”

Alexa’s voice drifted from the back room, singing along to Coldplay. Kari would rather have this conversation in private, but she wasn’t sure she could control her reactions if she were alone with Adison. At least knowing Alexa was close would keep her from doing anything stupid. “Adison, just say whatever it is you want to say.”

The pain on his face surprised her. She wasn’t trying to be a bitch, but the suspense was killing her.

“I don’t want to hurt you again. I want to apologize for what I did to you all those years ago.”

She didn’t say anything. She was too stunned. Never would she have imagined she’d hear those words from Adison’s lips. Adison’s full lips that knew what to do to make a woman’s body respond.

“I shouldn’t have married her. I should have waited for you to come to your senses and return home. I should have come to New York. I should have done something—anything except simply let you go, and then turn around marry someone I barely knew.”

“You’re right on all counts.” Why had she said that? She didn’t blame him for what had happened. She blamed herself. But suddenly she was afraid to tell him that. She was afraid to tell him that she’d cried for days when her parents had sent her the newspaper clipping announcing his marriage. She’d heard about his divorce too, but at the time she’d been too wrapped up in The Sir to feel any sense of vindication.

“I know. I’m so sorry, Kari.”

“Thanks.” Kari didn’t want to think about what they’d promised each other so long ago. She’d buried it during her ill-fated attempt at a college degree by drowning herself in parties and clubs, and then she’d blocked it out further by plunging headlong into the Dom/sub lifestyle with The Sir.

After that relationship ended, she’d been so wrapped up in the aftermath of the shooting and giving Grand Jury testimony, then moving out of state, that she hadn’t had to think about Adison until now. Until he’d walked back into her life and stood there looking so fucking hot and grown-up, and apologized like any decent human being would do. How dare he? How dare he dredge up this shit now? And what the hell was wrong with her that she couldn’t simply apologize to him? She owed him a big one.

“Kari, isn’t there any way we can get past this?” The look in his eyes was almost desperate. It was so unlike the Adison she remembered that she wasn’t sure how to react.

“Get past it to what, exactly?”

He looked totally flustered as he shrugged. “I don’t know. Friends, at least. Maybe dinner? A movie?”

He was asking her out on a date? Was he fucking kidding? After what she’d done to him? Why wasn’t he upset with her? “Maybe not.” She hadn’t meant to sound like such a bitch, but she was all mixed up inside. He should be angry with her and he wasn’t. She’d completely torn out his heart and stomped on it. Why didn’t he hate her? And what the hell was wrong with her? She should apologize to him right now but the words just wouldn’t come.

His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Can we at least be civil to each other then?” His voice had turned cold and hard. Well, she deserved that, right? She sure as hell didn’t deserve an apology or for him to ask her out on a date. She had to get him out of here before she made a damn fool of herself.

“Sure, Adison.” Kari pushed off the wall and walked toward him. “We can be
civil
.” She brushed past him to open the front door. “It was lovely to see you again. Thanks for stopping by.”

He gave her a long, searching look before finally leaving the shop. Kari leaned against the door, fighting back tears and the urge to run after him. She watched him stomp down the driveway and yank open the door of his Infiniti sedan. He’d certainly never driven a car that nice in high school. He must be doing well at Notus.

He glanced back toward the shop, the anger on his face softening a bit when he caught her watching him. Kari placed one hand on the window. What a bitch she was. Why couldn’t she simply have apologized and accepted his offer? They weren’t kids anymore, and clearly he wasn’t still upset with her.

She debated for what felt like long moments, their eyes locked. Finally, Adison climbed into his car and started the engine. Just as Kari’s feet decided to move from her spot by the door, he peeled out of the driveway, spraying gravel everywhere. She cringed as she imagined it ruining the finish of that pretty car.

She walked out onto the front porch and watched the street for a long time, willing him to drive back down it again.

* * * *

“Do you think anyone will stop by before we’re open?” Alexa asked that evening as they were cleaning up from their work that day.

“I don’t know. I hope they do, Alexa. It would be more fun to build up anticipation.”

“Yeah.”

Kari glanced at her friend and frowned. “What’s on your mind?” Alexa had looked worried all day.

Alexa sighed. “Luke keeps asking why I left New York. I don’t know what to tell him.”

Kari stopped sweeping the floor and leaned against the counter. “Dad told me Noah and Adison have asked him the same thing about me.”

Alexa looked alarmed. “Did he tell them? They don’t know why I left, do they?”

“No. He’d never betray that confidence and neither would I. I won’t tell them why either of us left. Alexa, we’re safe here. Brad won’t find you. You know The Sir would never tell him you left with me, or where I’m from. And as soon as Donnie McCoy’s trial is over, he’ll be locked up for life.”