Wishful Thinking (9 page)

“We can take him with us. We can bundle him up warmly and put him straight to bed at my house. There are two highly trained nurses there being paid around a thousand pounds a minute who are more than qualified to babysit. Just say yes.”

“But I can’t! I haven’t…” She stopped herself from uttering the clichéd words about having nothing to wear, no matter how true they were. She certainly had nothing to match up to Christian’s attire and doubtless the rest of his guests.

“It doesn’t matter to me how you look,” he told her. “Just throw anything on. I want you to enjoy the fun.”

But I wouldn’t enjoy it looking like Cinderella in her rags, she thought crossly. Only a superstar would think what he was asking was so simple. And then she felt selfish. But it was out of the question, he must realise that.

“It’s kind of you, but, it’s just not possible.”

Christian sighed and shook his head. “I was afraid you might object, which is why I brought a bit of the party to you, just in case.” He handed her the champagne and flowers. She led him into the tiny sitting room, quickly clearing away Ben’s mug from the coffee table and glancing nervously around her as she indicated for him to take a seat. He looked so out of place in her humble surroundings that she wanted to apologise, but stopped herself.

“I’ll just tuck Ben up and be back with you in a moment.”

She put the flowers in the kitchen and rushed into her own bedroom next to Ben’s to brush her hair before hurriedly adjusting her make up. Fortunately she’d at least put some on that afternoon as they had been to a small tea party at one of the neighbours’ flats where one of Ben’s little friends lived. What a completely different kind of party there must be at Christian’s house, she thought, applying a few careful sprays of her favourite Dior perfume - a Christmas present from her father. To think of her at such a party! If only he could have given her some notice to find something glamorous to wear and a babysitter for Ben - although on New Year’s Eve, how likely was that, she wondered.

When she returned to the sitting room, carrying the roses now crammed into a rather smaller vase than their elegant stems deserved, Christian was standing looking at a poster on her wall. He turned towards her as she re-entered the room, thanking him for the flowers.

“I really am sorry for just turning up like this. I literally only discovered where you lived an hour ago and just got into the car and drove here. I thought if I phoned first, you might have tried to put me off coming. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me.”

“Not want to see you?” She shook her head in surprise as she placed the vase on the table. She’d thought of nothing else but seeing him again, though she had hardly dared allow herself to admit that, or to expect it to happen. And here he was now, looking absolutely magnificent and leaving her feeling tongue-tied and awkward.

He moved towards her, their gazes locked together. Their lips were so close that she felt hers begin to tremble. She could smell his cologne or aftershave which smelled heavenly to her, citrusy with exotic spicy undertones, deeply sexy and very expensive. The tremor in her lips spread to her whole body and when his lips finally touched hers, she released a soft moan of longing and utter capitulation. His touch was gentle; their lips barely making contact at first as if they themselves were hesitant and shy about getting to know each other and this fired her desire almost to fever pitch. He deposited a few exploratory little butterfly kisses on her, as if begging permission to take her completely, before claiming her mouth in a deep and passionate kiss.

How long the kiss lasted, Jess couldn’t tell. She lost herself in the ecstasy of the moment, the sheer bliss of the exquisitely romantic touch of his lips, soft yet firm against her own.
I’ve wanted this not just since that night in the snow; this is something I’ve wanted forever.
She felt her body melting in his arms and the sensation she might disappear altogether as she no longer had any sense of control over herself. She was just there, in his arms, responding to his kiss and it was the most perfectly right experience of her whole life so far.

Eventually he pulled away, but continued to look deep into her eyes, his own luminous and large. “That was unfinished business. It had to be done,” he whispered softly.

She licked her lower lip as if to taste and savour his delicious presence there a moment longer before giving him a shy and teasing smile. “I perfectly understand. It was a pleasure doing business with you,” she paused a moment. “But, sadly, Cinderella still can’t go to the ball and I suspect your guests would hate me if they knew I was keeping you from them.”

“I can’t think about them, right now. I just want to think about you.”

****

Two hours later he drove back to Surrey alone. He would happily have stayed with Jess, but knew she was right about returning to his guests. He had left them at such short notice after Steve Grayson had contacted him with the information he so badly wanted, which was immediately after he had tracked down his mother at the hotel and got hold of Jess’s phone number. He didn’t stop to think, just leapt into his car, keyed the details into the sat nav. system and started driving. Less than an hour later, he was knocking on Jess’s door.

They’d talked practically non-stop, knowing time was scarce, and during that time he’d learned a good deal about her. Not as much as he wanted to, though. But now they’d found each other again, they would have time to get to know everything. He was certain he wanted that more than ever. He frowned at the prospect of having to return to the States the following week. But that should only be for a few days for some voice work and few network shows. The awards shows and premiere rounds were not due to start for another month or two.

The party was in full swing when he pulled into the grounds of his Surrey mansion and pointed the Lotus in the direction of the garage. Music spilled out into the night and some hardy couples were outside, frolicking around in the fake snow. It looked ultra-surreal with everyone being dressed in white.

Amber floated towards him as he entered the house. Her white dress glittered with fake diamonds – although knowing Amber, they could just as well be real ones – and matching her bejewelled Christian Louboutin stilettos whose red undersoles added an almost macabre splash of colour when she walked downstairs. Her stunning auburn hair, volumised threefold by her long-suffering stylist and also threaded with tiny glittering white gems, snaked down her back in undulating curls. The smile pasted on her face was, however, fake and he recognised that instantly.

“Where’ve you
been?
” she hissed at him.

“Not now, Amber. I need to mingle,” he said firmly. He was not going to let Amber burst his happy bubble tonight.

“You’ve been gone for
hours!
Who abandons their own party?” She demanded.

“Well you have on several occasions as I recall,” he reminded her as he swept past her to join a couple of celebrity A-listers hovering near the champagne fountain. Tacky, he thought. That had to be one of Amber’s ideas. She hated champagne so she would see it as cheap decoration.

The lights began to dim and the DJ’s music decreased in volume. “It’s almost midnight, you beautiful peeps. Listen out for the chimes and pucker up those lips for some satisfying action.”

Christian found Amber at his side once again, though he could see Adam weaving his way towards her from the other side of the room, ready to claim his kiss. It was almost like watching his progress in slow motion as Adam found himself caught up with the party guests, all counting down in unison but wanting to involve everyone around them. On the stroke of midnight, Amber whipped him around, threw her arms around his neck and glued her lips to his.

“Happy New Year, Amber,” he said pulling himself away, though not before catching a flash of light from someone’s camera. The damn press! That had to be Amber’s idea too – she’d probably struck a deal with some glossy lifestyle magazine.

“You too, Christian. And it
will
be a happy year for us – I’m determined to make it the best. I’ve decided we should get married – next week in Vegas. Happy New Year, darling.

9

Jess cuddled Ben on the sofa as they watched the spectacular fireworks display on the TV, occasionally turning their heads towards the window where the much smaller local displays were fizzing and crackling outside. Ben was sleepy but excited as he watched the London Eye in all its pyrotechnic splendour as floral fire and multi-coloured curlicues and helices tattooed London’s famous skyline.

“I
wish
I
could be there,” Ben said for the third or fourth time as the camera picked out some of the younger bystanders.

“Maybe next year you’ll be old enough for me to take you,” Jess suggested. Next year, she thought.
Who knows what we might be doing next year? My life is in a state of complete flux as I stand at the dawn of a new era. Something so very exciting is about to happen. I can feel it. I know it.
She bit her lower lip nervously. Was she tempting fate, thinking that? She kissed the top of her son’s flaxen head. “And tomorrow I have a nice surprise for you too. We’re going out for lunch with Christian!”

Ben nodded, clearly underwhelmed. Going out for lunch was hardly up there with mingling with London’s midnight revellers, or even going to the Natural History Museum, in his books. Jess realised that and shook her head in amusement. He would enjoy himself tomorrow, she was sure of that. She knew
she
would.

She was still aglow with warmth and happiness from Christian’s visit. She had already relived the wonderful surprise of opening the door to him a hundred times over. And the kiss! That wonderful, magical kiss, which had made her feel like the star of one of Hollywood’s most lavish, romantic films. Kisses like that, men like that, just didn’t happen to women like her in real life.

But she sat in his arms for over an hour talking to him – in between more kisses, of course – and he
was
real and he
was
happening…to
her!
He liked her. He cared about her. He had felt that same magic she had felt that night in the snow. He had explained about having to leave, about his ties with his former group members and Amber Rayne in particular.

Amber had been Annie Ryder once, but decided to reinvent herself with a more glamorous-sounding name on joining the band. Not that it mattered. They’d recognised her talent immediately and knew she was what they needed. Christian and Adam were the founder members of the band and everyone else went along with their decisions.

Fame had come quickly to them - Christian called it getting lucky breaks. And he explained that, for a while, he had been involved with Amber, but they’d both moved on apace since then. Now they looked on each other as brother and sister – their ties were equally strong, but different. Later on she had found true love with Adam, who was perfect for her.

Jess had listened, fascinated. From knowing nothing about any of them, her researches – fuelled by Katya’s blog – had made her feel something of an expert. It was as if she now knew these people he spoke of intimately, had shared in their past trials and successes. She even mentioned her idea of writing an official biography of the band. And he had said yes! At least he had promised to check with the rest of the band and their manager and give it serious thought. He seemed genuinely interested. The prospect of going to Melissa with her own contract as the officially designated writer of said biography was too delightful for words. It was hardly surprising that she was still floating in the clouds with no prospect of coming back down to earth, over an hour later.

The tinny ping of her phone broke into her reverie. She reached for it and checked the message.

Just wanted to wish you the happiest New Year ever. Can’t wait for tomorrow. C.

She smiled and the warm glow spread even further and deeper, if that were possible. She quickly sent a text back saying:
You too and me too.
She might have written more but Ben’s head lolled heavily against her arm as he fell asleep.

****

Unfortunately Amber made her statement just as Adam and one or two others appeared at their side. Adam looked disgusted and turned on his heels, while the others began applauding. Christian pushed Amber away from him, holding her at arm’s length. He wanted to shout something crushing and final, but saw that bruised, vulnerable look in her pain-filled eyes and knew he couldn’t make a public scene and add to her misery.

“We’ll talk about this later – in private and with Adam. Now I need to find him. Excuse me for a moment.” He tossed a quick, reassuring smile to the small, gathered audience and hurried off in the direction Adam had left.

He caught up with him on the second floor. He was heading for the loft, which Christian had converted into a studio. They took the final flight together, punched in the security code and entered the darkened room. It was a long, narrow room and the only lighting was a bluish glow coming from behind the sound window occupying the far wall. Christian closed the door behind him, shutting out all noises from the rest of the house.