Wishing Pearl (40 page)

Justin’s eyebrows knitted together in apparent confusion. “That’s what this is about? Yeah, I said something to her, but—”

“That’s all I wanted to know. Thanks for at least being honest about it.” Olivia jogged for the door, trying not to cry until she escaped into the hallway. “I have to go.”

The last thing she saw as the doors swung shut was Justin’s wide eyes and open mouth.

Olivia ran to her room and collapsed on her bed with her brand-new oboe tucked in beside her—where it would stay. She was too tired to cry, too worn out to think.

Sleep
.

Olivia opened her eyes to startling pitch-black silence. She squinted and tried to see if anyone else was in the room. Skye’s bed looked lumpy, and Tricia’s long arm hung down from her bed, her hand resting on the floor. What about Ju-Ju? Was she in the bed beneath Olivia?

Ju-Ju stirred and let out a snore.

How had she slept through their coming in and getting ready for bed? She peeked at the clock on the desk. Already five o’clock in the morning. Her alarm would go off in an hour, and there was no way she could fall back to sleep after sleeping more than ten hours. She sat up slowly and swung her legs over the side, letting herself down to the floor as quietly as possible. No sense waking everyone else up.

The little light on the desk gave off only a small amount of light, so Olivia clicked it on. She carefully pulled out the top desk drawer and reached in for a few sheets of paper and a pen. Settling into the desk chair, she thought about how to convey what she’d needed to say for a long time.

Olivia folded the paper and slipped it into an envelope out of the stationery pack Mom had given her. As she licked the glue and sealed the stamped envelope, she realized it was her first handwritten letter, other than all the thank-you notes Mom had made Olivia write when she was little.
Hmm
. She’d almost forgotten about being forced to write a note to her relatives or friends’ parents after every gift, every trip to the movies, every dinner out. She’d hated doing it, but Mom still made her. Something else she’d been right about.

Olivia slipped from the room into the brightly lit hallway and let the door click into place behind her before heading down the stairs. The sconces cast eerie shadows on the walls of the rustic lower level. Finally at her destination, she pulled the handle and held her letter over the slot in the mailbox.

Please let Mom take this letter well. Whatever Your will is for our future, I trust You, Lord. Amen
.

She dropped the letter and let the door slam back into place. Olivia stepped away but hurried back to pull the lever and make sure the letter had fallen. It was gone. Satisfied, she wiped her hands on her pajama pants and turned to head back to her room.

Olivia screamed as she felt a light touch on her shoulder. She whirled around with her hands raised to ward off an intruder.

Kira
.

D
on’t touch me, Kira.” Olivia forced power into her dark eyes. “You don’t want to mess with me.”

“Don’t be crazy. I’m not going to hurt you.” Kira looked down. “I just heard someone leave your room and hoped it might be you.”

“Why? So you could follow me and torment me with your insults? There’s nothing you could say that will hurt me anymore, Kira.” Olivia held out her arms. “Give it your best shot.”

Kira closed her eyes and sighed. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Great. Then we’re through here.” Olivia lifted her chin and stormed away.

Kira followed right behind. “Wait. I need to talk to you.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”
Just keep walking
. Kira meant nothing but trouble. But what could she want to say? Didn’t everyone deserve a chance? Olivia slowed to a stroll, but she didn’t look back. “Talk.”

“I … I’m sorry.”

Putting on the brakes completely, Olivia came to a dead stop. “You’re sorry? For what, exactly?”
Breaking my oboe? Breaking my heart?

“For all of it.” Kira lowered her eyes.

Not getting off that easy, honey
. “What’s
all
of it, Kira? What exactly are you apologizing for?” As if she was really repentant about anything.

“I broke your oboe.”

Duh
. “Why did you do it?” Besides being cold and heartless. “And why are you telling me now?”

“I guess I did it because I was jealous. I … I’m sort of used to getting all the attention—most popular girl in school, gymnast, you know. Everyone was making such a big deal over you.”

“Everyone?” Olivia raised one eyebrow.

“Well, especially Justin.” Kira looked at Olivia for the first time. “I wanted to hurt you because of some things that happened. But none of it was your fault.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Olivia crossed her arms over her chest. What did Kira expect? Everything was supposed to be fine all of a sudden? Just because she sort of apologized? “Do you know how much that oboe cost?”

“I do now. I didn’t then. Not that cheaper would have made it okay.” She looked down again. “There’s more.” Kira wrung her hands until her knuckles turned white. “It’s about Justin.” Her eyes welled up with tears. “We’re not back together. Actually, we never were together. Justin’s too smart—too good—for someone like me. He never fell for it. Not even for a second.”

“But people said you guys were a thing. That you were like boyfriend-girlfriend.”

Kira shook her head. “That’s what I wanted everyone to believe, but that’s not what happened. Justin spent a lot of time with me, that much is true. But it wasn’t because he had any interest in me that way. He just saw me as a sort of personal mission. He saw through me and knew I wasn’t for real.”

Ah
. Much like he’d tried to get Olivia to stop smoking. Was she only a personal mission? Someone else for Justin to fix? “Okay, so what about that picture you took and sent to Ben? Did you really believe that Justin was smoking that cigarette?”

“No. Of course not.” Kira bit her lip.

“You could have gotten him in a lot of trouble. Thankfully, Ben knows his son too well for that.” Now for the big question. “But what about me?”

“What about you?”

“I’m guessing Justin never said that about my scar? That it was horrid?” Olivia realized she was tracing the line on her cheek and jerked her hand away.

Kira shook her head. “No. He didn’t say that.” She took a deep breath. “In fact …”

Olivia waited a moment. “In fact, what?”

She raised her eyes and looked at Olivia. “He didn’t say it was horrid. In fact, he told me that he loved that about you. Let’s see, how did he put it? Oh, right. He said it made you vulnerable and reminded him that even though you’re so strong, you’ve been through a lot and you’re fragile. He said he felt the need to protect you. Or something like that.”

Olivia let tears course down her cheeks. “You hurt me when you told me what you did about my scar. But you know what else? You hurt Justin, because I pushed him away after that. Just like you wanted.” Olivia shuddered at the memory of the look on Justin’s face when the dining room door closed on him the last time she saw him.

“I know.” Kira hung her head.

“That proves you never loved him, Kira. The only person you’ve loved up until now is yourself. You’ve forgotten something though.”

Kira looked up, her eyes rimmed with tears but sparkling with hope.

“You’ve forgotten that Jesus loves you, too. He has your back. You don’t need to do all these manipulations to make life go well for you. You just need to follow Him.”

Kira nodded. “I just don’t get that whole thing.”

“You need to do what Ben told me to do.”

“What?” Kira seemed eager, like she’d do anything. Like Olivia had felt when she came to the end of herself. She and Kira had something in common after all.

“Say, ‘I trust You, Lord,’ every hour until you feel like you do trust Him.”

“That’s it?” Kira looked skeptical, just like Olivia had.

Olivia smiled and nodded. “That’s it.”

Ben stepped around the corner. “Well, there’s a tad more to it than that, but you’ve done a fantastic job at getting her started, Olivia.” He turned to Kira. “I heard everything. We’re going to need to talk—a lot’s been going on with you the last few months, Kira. It’s time to get to the bottom of it.” He slipped his arm across her shoulders and steered her to his office.

Kira cast one more glance at Olivia; then her head hung low in defeat as she walked away.

“Hey, Kira.”

Kira turned to look at Olivia. Her eyes were wide. “I forgive you.”

H
appy birthday, dear Olivia. Happy birthday to you.” Olivia closed her eyes and wished for a real family. She wished for a future of love and happiness—peace and security. She opened them and blew out the seventeen candles with one breath—the breeze helped. She loved having a June birthday so she could have her cake outside as had been tradition since she was a toddler. The smell of spring was always in the air—even in Chicago, but especially this year in Colorado. The trees were covered with leaves, and the birds chirped in the boughs. Who’d have thought she’d turn into such a lover of the outdoors?

Her birthday. That meant she’d spent every major holiday alone at Diamond that year. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and her birthday without any family. But it was strangely okay somehow. She gazed up at the Rocky Mountain landscape.
I hope I never have to leave
.

Patty and Tammy cut the horse-shaped chocolate cake and passed out Styrofoam bowls of vanilla ice cream. Olivia almost turned hers down because of the hour she’d have to spend on the treadmill later, but then she thought of what Tricia had put herself through. Life was too short, and Olivia wasn’t about to spend it worrying about her weight to the point of not having a piece of her own birthday cake. So she reached for a big piece of the mane with extra frosting.

She tried to force herself not to watch what Tricia did when offered a piece of cake, but she couldn’t help herself.
Phew
. Tricia selected a small piece and just a dab of ice cream. A treat without going overboard. That meant she didn’t intend to visit the restroom after she ate it. The best gift Olivia could receive for her birthday.

Ben and Alicia burst through the doors and strode across the yard to the picnic area. “Happy birthday, Olivia!” He put his arm around his wife and beamed at Olivia. “We have a big surprise for you. Let’s see. What’s the one thing you’d want to do on your special day?”

That was easy. “I’d love several hours to ride Cinnamon up the mountain.”

“Well, that’s fine. But I mean something you really want, but wouldn’t think possible.” Ben grinned.

Alicia’s eye sparkled. “Think big.”

Ugh
. Seemed like they had done something special for her. What if she guessed wrong? Olivia hated to hurt their feelings by not coming up with the right answer. “The only other thing I can think of definitely isn’t possible, so I don’t want to say it.”

“Try me.” Ben folded his arms across his chest and gave her an
I’ve got a secret
grin.