Within (14 page)

He stopped fumbling through the fridge, pulled out a beer, opened it with his teeth and then took a swig. “It’s always been about you, hasn’t it? Nothing’s changed.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, putting my hand on my chest.

“It’s always been about Courtney and what she wants to do. You're selfish; always have been. With the kind of people your family is, I’m not shocked she turned out to be a murderer.”

“Watch your mouth,” I growled.

“You watch yours. My son is dead. Mine! And for what? For nothing; you got your nerve to come knocking at my door with some bullshit like this. I ain't helping with a good got damn thing. She’s on her own, if you counting on me for anything. I’ll see all y’all asses in court!” he said, taking another drink.

I shook my head in agreeance and stared at him before speaking. “Right, but remember one thing, when I took her and gave her to my brother, she was a baby, you can’t fault her for something she had no control over. Also why you talking all that shit, what happened to Bishop she had no control over either; Krystle is sick.”

“Now that’s one thing we both agree on, she is really sick,” he said taking another sip of beer.

“No stupid, she’s schizophrenic with a multiple personality disorder. So whether you want to believe it or not, she didn’t want to do anything to him, she loved Bishop. Yeah you had one son and I'm sorry that happened to him, but you also only have one daughter and if you don’t help her she’ll be lost too.” I said walking out of his kitchen towards the front door.

“News flash, Courtney!” he shouted from the kitchen, “I lost one child, my only child; losing someone I barely knew or know, holds no significant value to my life!”

“Fucking right,” I said, opening the door, exiting and then slamming it behind me.

Chapter Sixteen

KRYSTLE

My mind was still slightly clouded when I’d awakened days later. I sat up in a panic, looking around briefly. “What… What happened?”

“Don’t worry about that right now,” Aunt Courtney said, standing to the left side of the bed, stroking my head.

“Everything will be fine, I promise,” my dad said, standing at the foot of the bed. “I’m glad you’re up; now you can take your medication the doctors been wanting to give you since you came in,” he smiled.

“Can it wait please? I just…” I said, looking to my right to see a man standing beside the bed. “Bishop?” I began to weep and then reached out my hand to him. He was hesitant at first, but I didn’t care; I needed his touch again.

“Please,” I cried, still holding my hand out towards him. He grabbed it, squeezing it just a little. “Bishop, I’m sooo sorry,” I said, pulling his hand towards my cheek.

“Krys—” my dad began.

“No, it’s fine; let her talk,” Bishop said with a straight face, still looking at me.

My dad looked upset at Bishop's response, but Aunt Courtney stepped over, patted his shoulder and said, “It’s okay, Tony, this is probably what’s needed.”

I turned my attention back to Bishop and then smiled, shaking his hand. “I’m not a good person; I have different people living within me; that’s beyond my control. I know I tried to kill you, and I’ll be forever sorry for that. I know you’ll never forgive me for that, but I’m eternally grateful you made it through.”

Tears rolled down his face as he squeezed my hand a bit tighter, but then let go.

“Krystle, that’s Brandon,” Aunt Courtney said.

“My dad?” I asked.

She didn’t respond; she just turned away.

“Yeah and Bishop’s,” Brandon responded.

I cried even harder than before, now at a total loss for words. At first, I couldn’t take my eyes off him because of whom I thought he was. I’ve seen him times before, but I could not remember him looking this much like Bishop. Immediately, I became ashamed.

“I know nothing I will ever say could ever make up for what I did. I could never apologize enough.”

“I prayed and asked for an open heart, before coming here. I asked if I could be granted a forgiving heart that allowed me to face you and now, seeing you…” he stopped and took a deep breath; then began speaking again. “Nothing you can ever say or do will ever take away what I feel for you as a person. You are my flesh, but never have you been my child; my child is in the ground six feet deep.”

“Can you forgive me?” I asked, tears rolling down my face.

“The hand I just held; your hand… is the hand of a murder. I will never forgive you,” he said, balling up his face as tears begin to stream down his face, as well as mine.

“I’m sorry,” I cried as he walked past my dad and aunt, who still stood at the foot of my bed with their mouths open.

“Not as sorry as I am.”

“That was a bit too harsh,” Aunt Courtney said, stepping a few inches towards Brandon.

“Real fucking harsh,” my dad said, walking in front of Aunt Courtney.

“I thought I could forgive her and I can’t; it’s that fucking simple. I ain't here for this ‘I want you back in my life’ bullshit or to make amends. I shouldn’t have ever come in this damn room no way. I should have just stuck with what I came here to fucking do, which is to sign the papers to get her locked up in that mental hospital where she belongs.”

“Is that why y’all brought him here?” I asked, looking from my aunt to my dad. They said nothing in response to what I asked; I felt the rage inside me beginning to boil over.

As I looked from Brandon, to my dad, and to Aunt Courtney, my eyes zoomed in towards my father. A man that hates physical confrontation now looked like he was about to pop. Even though I was angry with them for what I’d just heard, Brandon was just being a flat out ass to my parents and I couldn’t hold it in. With every word he spoke, I felt myself drift deeper and deeper into anger. My surroundings turned black and all I could see and focus on was Brandon. The voice that came from me, I knew was not my own; I couldn’t stop it nor did I try.

“You are the problem and always have been,” I said, letting up down the bed rail, pulling my legs to the side of the bed, letting them dangle. 

He looked to the left of him and then the right, I assumed he was looking at my dad and Aunt Courtney, but I was fixated on him and him only.

“Don’t look around now, bitch, I’m talking to you!”

“You can take your deep ass voice somewhere else with that shit; you don’t intimidate me! Murderer! Courtney, Tony, one of y’all need to talk to this girl before she says something that’s gon’ make me go off,” Brandon said, taking a few steps backwards.                            

I laughed hysterically, standing up and snatching the IV’s out my arm.

“You see, Brandon, the one thing you’ve underestimated was me… And so did your son.”

“Krystle!” I heard Aunt Courtney call out.

I ignored her and took about three steps closer towards Brandon. “You fail to realize I’m crazy. At first, I didn’t accept it, but when I think about it…” I said, hitting my left side temple with my pointer finger, “I mean really think about it, I understand I can’t fight it.”  

“Get back in bed, Krys, now!” I heard my father yell.

“Shut the hell up! It’s over; your reality for Krystle to be the sweet innocent girl is gone,” I laughed.

They stood there quiet for a moment and then everything went black.

“Don’t do this, fight against it,” I heard FiFi’s voice echo in the darkness.

“I can’t stop it,” I heard my own voice tell FiFi.  

“It’s too late, Krystle, Akira took over; you let her win,” FiFi said, appearing beside me.

As much as I pushed, I couldn’t get back through to myself. I was helpless, stuck on the inside, listening out to Akira laughing a hearty, evil laugh.

“Krystle, this is the last time I'm going to ask you to get back in the bed.”

AKIRA

“Krystle is gone,” I growled

“Oh hell no, she is crazy! Y’all need to call a damn nurse!” Brandon yelled.

“You call her,” I laughed, taking more steps towards Brandon.

“If you’re not Krystle, then who are you?” Courtney asked me, taking a few steps towards me with her hands out.

“Do you even have to ask? Krystle made it seem like you were the smart one.”

“You’re Akira, aren't you? I recognize your voice.”

“You got it,” I said, turning my attention to her and smiling. “You know, a few days without her meds really turned her into a new person,” I said, throwing my head back, laughing.

“Where’s Krys, Akira? Even FiFi?”

“Don’t play into this, Courtney,” Tony said.

Again I laughed, ignoring Krystle’s dad, still looking at Courtney. “What do you want with any of them? All you ever did was ask about me; now guess what? I’m here,” I said, putting my arms out.

“Fight through it, Krys!” Courtney yelled.

“Fight through it,” I said, mocking her. I saw Brandon trying to creep his way towards the door to leave, so I ran past him and stood there.

“Did you really think it was going to be that easy?” I asked, locking it as he backed away.

“Akira?” Courtney asked.

“WHAT!”

“Just talk to me okay?” she asked, taking a few steps closer towards me.

“Courtney, what are you doing? Back up,” Tony pleaded with his sister.

I snickered, because there was no way she thought she was about to con me into anything. I’ve grown from when she knew me; I was stronger now, much, much stronger.

“I know what I’m doing Tony, chill.” 

“Do you? Huh Courtney?” I said, walking back to the bed, grabbing the IV needles and then holding them tightly in my fist. “You don’t know me! You don’t remember!”

“I know you. I know exactly who you are, Akira.”

In a hurry, I walked up to Brandon, grabbed the collar of his shirt, took the needles and placed them next to his neck.

“She’s just a teenager, Courtney, call the fucking nurse! Look… little girl, Krystle, Akira, whoever, I’m not trying to hurt you but I will.” Brandon said, swinging me around; then grabbing my neck and squeezing it. “You killed my son; it wouldn’t mean shit to me to crush you right now,” Brandon whispered.

“Let go of my daughter!” Tony yelled, causing Brandon to take his eyes off me for a split second.

In that second, I was able to get out of his grasp, slide underneath him and then wrap my left arm around his neck, holding the needles to his Adam's apple now. He didn’t move or put up a fight now.

“Akira, I know you,” Courtney shouted.

“You don’t know shit!” I spat.

“You were me and I was you at one time, remember? You remember that? She asked me, taking a few steps closer.

“You shut me out, of course I remember!” I yelled.

“I didn’t mean to, I promise I didn’t mean to.”

“You shut me out when you were pregnant with Krystle!”

“Do you remember what I said, Akira? Do you remember the quote I repeated every night?”

“Fuck you!” I shouted, pushing the needle closer towards Brandon’s neck.

“You are right Akira, I shut you out.”

“Courtney, get this crazy broad off of me,” Brandon said, still not moving.

“Philippians 3 and 13.”

“Shut up, Courtney!” I yelled.

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.”

“Shut up! I said, dropping the needles from Brandon’s neck, covering my ears.

“I let go of any hold you ever had within me, Akira! I forgive you, I forgive myself, and I forgive my mother for all the past sins she passed down to us. You can’t hold Krystle accountable for what I did to you. You have a problem with me, take that up with me!”

I felt Krystle getting stronger and stronger as Courtney spoke.

“You are no longer a presence I want in my family!”

Krystle's alarm clock started to go off on her phone, which caught my attention. It wasn't a normal ringtone like the buzzing, but an actual song. Lori Perry’s voice began to belt out the song, “Up Against the Wind”, and I figured that was perfect for our ending. I let go of Brandon and then backed up to the door, taking my final look at each one of them, before allowing Krystle to come back in.

All isn't what it seems,” I laughed.

Chapter Seventeen

COURTNEY

“Let Krystle go!” I demanded.

Before I knew it, she took off running full speed past all of us, towards the large, square floor-length window.

“No!” I gasped, running after her.

The sound of shattering glass went everywhere as she jumped through the window. Quickly reacting I reached out, catching her by her hospital gown. Tony grabbed me, while Brandon grabbed him, as Krystle and I dangled from the eighth-floor window. She looked down at the ground below us and back up at me. Her eyes looked normal, even with the cuts to her face caused by the shattered glass; she seemed relaxed.

“Krystle?” I yelled down to her, grabbing the gown tighter.