A
ARON STEPPED CAREFULLY
over the stacked, rough pieces of timber that lay haphazardly in the middle of the new doorway frame. It was lunchtime, and the crew of construction workers sat several feet away clutching bags of fast food and laughing amongst themselves under the dull afternoon sun. He adjusted his hard hat as he looked out towards the open area, surrounded by the open scaffold of the office extension of the new structure.
The new crew he’d hired for the West Virginia location were hard at work. He’d gotten a great deal on the small building but he desired to have a larger area as his personal office, so he hired a local architect and the wheels were soon set in motion. He stood there, daydreaming about nothing in particular. Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He snatched the thing out of his pocket, looked at the caller I.D., and burst out laughing.
“What’s going on, man? You got time for your big brother now, huh?” He chuckled.
“Always time for you, man! Sorry, just been busy… Amy told me you stopped by and gave her a holler. She really liked seein’ you. It’s good you two been talking on the phone a lot, too.”
“Yeah.” He looked lazily up at the sky then back at the workers as he leaned against the doorframe, careful not to jam his shoulder into a bed of half drilled nails. “It was good seein’ her, too…” His voice trailed. He didn’t want to bring down the budding good mood while speaking to Joe-Joe, but the visit with Amy had left him a bit torn up inside.
“It got you kinda down, didn’t it? Seein’ her like that?”
Aaron stood straight once more, cleared his throat, and made haste to avoid the question.
“So what you been up to? Ain’t heard from you in a few weeks.”
“I’m thinkin’ about doin’ some party promotions, man! They get paid real good.”
“Party promotions?! Like handing out flyers and shit? Joe-Joe, come on!”
“Come on,
what
?”
“You and Amy are goin’ to be thirty soon. You are jumpin’ from job to job actin’ like you got all the time in the world to get your shit together and Amy won’t even take her goddamn medicine so she can get the fuck outta that horrible place!”
“Look, I don’t call you to hear any shit, Aaron! You’re not exactly someone that can be sittin’ around lecturin’ me, anyway. You haven’t exactly been a shining example, a pillar of society! Give me a damn break! What? You think ’cause you own your own company you better than me? You ain’t!”
Aaron slowly lowered his head and rubbed his forehead in frustration. He closed his eyes, trying to calm the beating of his heart.
“…I ain’t never thought I was better than you, Joe-Joe. I’ve never said that to you. I’m just concerned, is all. I just… I just want
better
for you, for Amy, for
all
of us.”
“Well, sometimes we just gotta deal with the hand we were dealt, okay? You was real smart in school but pissed it away, so save your lectures. You had the brains, I had the charisma; let me do my thing.”
“We deserved better, man.” He looked back out at the construction workers, one of whom who was now tinkering with a paint splattered radio. “We… just deserved better is all.”
Silence stretched between them – long and uncomfortable.
“Anyway, Amy said you aren’t with the National Socialists anymore? Is that true? Like, you’re really done with that? Shit… I guess you are if your girlfriend is really who Amy said it was…”
“Yeah.” Aaron sighed. “It’s true.”
“I can’t even imagine you not a part of that… seems strange. You seem different though, too. When we talked last, I could tell you’d changed… but I guess I just didn’t really believe it. I needed more convincing. I’m glad though, Aaron… I’m real glad about that.”
“Every day has its challenges, but I’m a work in progress, you know? So, did you get the wedding invitation?”
“Yeah, I’ll see if I can make it.”
“You’ll see if you can make it? You don’t have a job! You don’t have any obligations. You better get your ass up here.” Aaron chuckled. “It ain’t an option.”
“Let me ask you something, Aaron.”
“Yeah?”
“This is somethin’ that’s always bothered me, and I never got up the nerve to ask. But since you’re way up there in West Virginia now, and I’m down here in Alabama, ain’t shit you can do to me if I say what I want.”
Aaron smirked and shook his head. “What is it?”
“Why is it that you let Mama treat you like that, huh? I’d leave the house when she’d get to goin’, startin’ up. But you’d stay in there and take it, knowing nine times out of ten she was going to beat tha shit outta you for whatever reason she saw fit.”
“’Cause of Amy, Joe-Joe. Somebody had to stay back and protect Amy… Mama needed someone to lay into, and if I ran off, she might have turned Amy into her whoopin’ post instead. I couldn’t let that happen. Yeah, I knew what was going to happen, but better me than her.”
“But she all fucked up anyway… didn’t even matter.” His brother let out an exasperated breath. “I’m the only normal one.” He laughed, drawing some mirth from Aaron, too. “Wish that was true… but it ain’t. I been runnin’ my whole life, Aaron…’fraid to keep still. If you keep still, the memories come back and get you, eat you alive. I can’t for the life of me figure out how we still standin’.”
“As my sweetheart would say, ‘By the grace of God…’” Aaron took a glance at the time on his phone. “You know, just ’cause I moved don’t mean you allowed to ignore me, not be around. Ain’t sayin’ you got to move here, but I need you in my life, Joe-Joe – you and Amy, too. Actually…hold tight. I’mma give her a call. We can talk on three-way.”
“She ain’t going to pick up, Aaron. She never answers her damn phone.”
“She’ll pick up for me. I’m her favorite brother,” Aaron teased causing Joe-Joe to snicker. The phone began to ring, and ring, and ring…
“See, told you,” Joe-Joe stated smugly.
“Hello? Aaron!”
“Awwww, man! Amy you made me lose a damn bet!” Joe-Joe blurted, sounding sore and angry as if money were riding on it.
“What? You complainin’ to Aaron about me not answering the phone in my room? I don’t take your calls; you waste my goddamn time. Now, Aaron, on the other hand, is entertainin’!” She cackled.
“Whatever…” Joe-Joe mumbled.
“Is this a family reunion?!” she joked. “I’m on three-way, huh?”
“Yeah, it’s a family reunion!” Aaron grinned. “Look, Amy, I was talking to Joe-Joe and—”
“Oh, Aaron, I got the weddin’ invitation. It’s so pretty! I doubt they’ll let me come, but I’m going to save this, put it up somewhere special.”
He pushed aside his disappointment, knowing she more than likely was right. It was out of state after all, and they were funny about things like that…
“Amy, Aaron and I were just talkin’ about Mama and Arnold.”
“No,
you
were talkin’ about Mama and Arnold and I was just responding,” Aaron corrected. “That’s why I called Amy, actually. Amy and I talked about them when I visited her, and now here’s the topic again. I’m pretty fuckin’ sick of everything revolving around Mama and Arnold.”
“I got the right to bring their asses up! Arnold slapped me so goddamn hard one time, he dislodged one of my fuckin’ teeth, Aaron! I was only eight fuckin’ years old and he hit me like that!” The rage in his brother’s tone filled the airwaves with something that only the heavens above could sooth. Aaron was all too familiar with it… for it mirrored his own.
“I didn’t say you didn’t have the right to bring them up, Joe-Joe. What I’m sayin’ is that all three of us have allowed how they treated us to mess us up. It gets to the point where we have to start takin’ responsibility for ourselves, Joe-Joe!”
“What the hell are you talking about? I do!”
“No you don’t. You’re just out here, not doin’ anything! That shit can fly when you’re twelve, sixteen, eighteen, hell, maybe even early twenties, but then it gets to a point where you have to say, ‘
Fuck
them!’” Aaron’s body filled with a surge of heat as he screamed out the words, cursed the two people that had set out to destroy him. “We gotta have the last laugh! I’m so tired… so fucking
tired
of this shit, Joe-Joe! Amy, it ain’t just him. This is for you, too. You gotta get better, do you hear me!”
“Aaron, I—”
“No … no excuses! I know it ain’t your fault, it ain’t none of our faults, but… shit, I don’t know, I just understand now that them two bastards had three great kids and just ’cause they didn’t see us as important didn’t mean that we weren’t.”
“What you expect me to do, Aaron?” Amy asked, her voice real calm, quiet and low.
“What do I expect you to do? I expect you to start listenin’ to your doctors, toyin’ around with the medications to see what works for you and what doesn’t, make a game plan, Amy. One you can stick with, live by. You can’t stay in that goddamn hospital the rest of your life, the fuckin’ nut farm. You’re bipolar, okay, fine. They got shit for that… You can still have a good life if you take care of yourself. And you need to get help for your drinkin’… you drink too fuckin’ much, okay?”
“I know…”
He’d never yelled at his sister before, not since they were little kids. He’d always handled her carefully, like a tiny, fragile doll, but this couldn’t continue. He saw the potential in her, and he needed her to see it, too. None of this was pre-planned or expected. A chance call from his little brother had erupted his emotional floodgates, and everything came tumbling forward like a mighty torrent.
“Joe-Joe, I need you to help, Amy, okay? You and she are twins, but I always spent way more time wit’ her. You two have a special bond though, a special connection. You need each other.” His voice trembled. He tried to not fall apart, but it was becoming damn near impossible.
“I hear you, Aaron…”
“Stop runnin’; get yourself a trade. For years you talked about becoming an electrician, Joe-Joe. You never went to school for it, just let it sail on by. You gotta find something you’re passionate about, that you think you’d be good at, and do it… not because you think you could get rich doin’ it, but because you won’t give up until you succeed!”
“Well hell, Aaron, I’d still like to do that but—”
“But nothin’. I want you to find a school for it and enroll. I’ll pay the tuition but you better finish or I’ll beat your damn ass!”
Amy burst out laughing on the other end.
“He’ll do it, too, Joe-Joe!” She cracked up. “I remember you two gettin’ into it, rollin’ around and gettin’ grass all in your hair. Joe-Joe would be squealin’ and cryin’ and carryin’ on after you’d get him in a headlock!”
All three were laughing now.
“If you were lucky, Patti would see you and come break it up. And I’d just stand there with my dolly and cry.” She laughed much louder now…and though he could hear the joy in her voice, he could also hear the pain…
“You’ll pay for it?” Joe-Joe questioned, as if needing to confirm.
“Every damn cent. And if you finish and get that degree and a job, I’ll get you a new truck, too…and buy your tools.”
“Ha! You’re shittin’ me?”
“No I ain’t. I told you I don’t give handouts. That’s why when you’d call me asking for money all these years I’d say no. I knew you wouldn’t appreciate it. When you do the right thing, I’ll do the right thing. You’d have earned it; and as for you, Amy, once you get yourself together, we’ll have a similar talk.”
“I don’t even really know what I’d like to do, Aaron… My situation, I just don’t know.”
“Amy, one step at a time. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, but I’ve got your back, okay? Me and Joe-Joe got your back and we aren’t going to let you sit on your ass anymore and not work for what you want… make excuses. You could be doing all sorts of things.”
“I know I could, but I’m not even sure where to focus on, at this point, Aaron.”
“You always liked taking care of animals; maybe you could do something like that? Like, look into being a veterinarian and if you think that’s too much, being a veterinary assistant or something like that would be just fine, too, Amy. You’ve always been good with animals… would sneak little birds and stuff in the house. It’s just something to think about is all… but this right here, what’s goin’ on, it can’t go on anymore. We gotta stop this cycle! I messed up, you hear me?!”
They drew so quiet, he’d hear a pin drop.
“I was supposed to be setting a good example, but I didn’t.”
“Aaron, that wasn’t your fault. How was you gonna be an example when we ain’t even have nothing good to model ourselves after?” Joe-Joe asked.
“I should’ve tried harder, Joe-Joe. I should have seen what was happening. All I know is that I need… I need my family.” Aaron swiped at his eye as they threatened to gloss over, turn him into a fool. “We were all we had for the longest… just us three! I was the oldest and the worst! If I can change and do better, I
know
you two can. I believe in you two, do you get that? I’mma do my part, do what I can to help you… ’cause we’re family. Distance won’t stop that; it’ll just make me more determined. I let you down… I let you
both
down, but that’s over with. I’m here for you now, you hear me? I promise!”
He distinctly heard Amy crying softly on the other end of the phone. He hadn’t heard his sister cry in years. She’d suppressed it with booze, weed, different personalities, and any distraction she could get her hands on. But now, she would have someone that believed in her: her big brother.
“Aaron, thanks…we hear you. Look, I’ll follow up with you after I look into it. I’ll check out the schools ’round here, see what I can find out.”
“Joe-Joe, I’m not kiddin’ around with you. Enough of this rappin’ and all this other bullshit!”
“Okay, shit! I said I’d do it!”
“Fine… and Amy, call me more, okay? You gotta call me, let me know how you’re doing.”
“I can do that… I want to meet your soon-to-be wife.” He could hear the smile in her voice as she slyly changed the subject.
“And I’d like you to meet ’er. Look.” He took notice of the workers getting back to their feet. “I have to go, but I’ll talk to you both in a couple of days.”
“Okay, tell Mia I said hello,” Amy said cheerfully, as if she knew the woman personally.