Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore
Work What You Got (17 page)
All of a sudden, he spoke to my core. I knew what it was like not to be perfect. I had just come back from spring break and I come close to doing the exact same thing. Because I didn't go all the way, did that mean I was better than him?
“I'll talk to him, y'all,” I said to Bridget and Myra as they stood by, always having my back.
“I'll bring her home,” he told them.
“You cool with that?” Myra asked.
“Well, she knows him. It's not like he's gonna slip something in her drink like the other guy,” Bridget said, then she covered her lips as her eyes widened at what she'd let slip.
“Girl, hush!” Myra said.
“What do you mean, somebody slipped something in your drink? It wasn't ...” He didn't even finish before he turned, ready to go back to the house.
“No! It wasn't Butch,” I said, holding him back before he went in to have the fight he had just walked away from. “I got this, y'all. I'm cool. He'll bring me home.”
We drove around town, not stopping at any particular destination. I didn't want him over to my house. I didn't want to go to his. We were together, but we weren't even speaking to one another. Could our relationship even be fixed? Could we find our way back to each other? Could we have a relationship that was worth something? I think both of us were pondering those thoughts.
“You hungry?” Creed asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” I said, knowing we had left the Pi slam before the ribs and chicken got on the grill.
“Yeah, I could have a little bite to eat. I remember when I took you to that restaurant on the other side of town. You were diggin' the Philly cheesesteak sandwich. Want another one of those?”
“Yeah, that'd be great,” I told him.
When we got to the restaurant, as soon as we were seated, Creed said, “I'm sorry.”
“For what?” I asked him.
“Letting you down. Carrying on with some other girl I didn't even like just to satisfy myself. I came away feeling emptier than before I even messed with her. I'm just a typical frat guy now, hit 'em and leave 'em.”
“Maybe that's why I like you. Because I know you care more than that.”
Creed asked, “You think the letters got to the both of us? Pulled us too far apart?”
“I was such a horrible leader in my sorority.”
“Yeah, I wasn't too great in our relationship either,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I got a little jealous that you were all excited about Beta Gamma Pi. So when my frat called me, I was the first one there. I tried to spend time with you, but there were times when you were busy and it just seemed like it happened all the time when I wanted to hang out with you. I tried to voice my opinion but I didn't know if you were really hearing me.”
“Wow,” I said.
“Yeah, wow. I'm admitting this to you because I was wrong. I should have worked with you to help you find a balance. Call you out in a way that made sense so you could understand what I needed. I know you care about me.”
“I do,” I said to him. “I was with that guy on spring break, just frustrated and mad because I didn't have you.”
“I don't want to scare you, Hayden, but I do want us to try again.”
“Why would that scare me?”
“Because when a man can't stop thinking about a woman, when he's with somebody else and he's still thinking about that woman, you know he loves that lady.”
“What?” I said.
“I love you,” he said boldly.
17
GLORY
I
t felt like I was hearing the Heavenly angels sing when Creed said he loved me. I jumped up from the table so quickly and leapt into his arms. I had been fighting my feelings for him, but now I knew from the very core that he owned my heart. It wasn't just that he was handsome or that he was Greek, he truly was there for me, like my housemates. He wasn't putting up with any of my stuff, but he was kind even when I drove him away. I knew I shouldn't have neglected himâa mistake that I hoped I would never make again. With ketchup on my lip from the Philly cheesesteak sandwich, I kissed him and the few people in the restaurant applauded.
t felt like I was hearing the Heavenly angels sing when Creed said he loved me. I jumped up from the table so quickly and leapt into his arms. I had been fighting my feelings for him, but now I knew from the very core that he owned my heart. It wasn't just that he was handsome or that he was Greek, he truly was there for me, like my housemates. He wasn't putting up with any of my stuff, but he was kind even when I drove him away. I knew I shouldn't have neglected himâa mistake that I hoped I would never make again. With ketchup on my lip from the Philly cheesesteak sandwich, I kissed him and the few people in the restaurant applauded.
“You've never been one to show emotion in public, now look at you,” he said.
“You said you loved me. The thing is, I love you too.” Then he kissed me again.
Whistles and cheers came from our audience at that point. For the next hour, he and I sat and talked about all the things we had wanted to tell each other while we were apart.
As we rode home, I looked out of the window. I was so very thankful to have another chance with Creed, but there was still a hole burning my soul.
Tuning in to my feelings, he stroked the side of my cheek and said, “You want to get things right with the Betas, huh?”
I just smiled. No need to say it. I mean it was obvious, but how? I thought time would mend things, instead it just made them worse. I didn't even know who the Betas had decided to make president. My mom had even encouraged me to talk to them, but I just couldn't face them. Besides, the little shove I received at the party showed they obviously weren't thinking kindly about me. Yeah, in my mind, I knew the damage was too far gone to be reversed. Though technically I was a part of them, in my heart I didn't feel like I was at all. I looked back out of the window. I couldn't even face Creed to answer his question.
“Talk to me,” my guy said, truly into me.
“It's just not going to work out for me to be a Beta anymore, Creed. And if you want a girlfriend who is Greek, then maybe I am not the girl for you.”
“Wait now, don't even play me like that,” he said. “If you're not active with them that's not going to make me not want to be with you. Give me more credit than that. I just told you I loved you. I've never said those words to a girl
ever
âmy feelings for you are deep. They are also real. I'm not saying I deserve any praise. I'm just saying, give me the benefit of the doubt.”
ever
âmy feelings for you are deep. They are also real. I'm not saying I deserve any praise. I'm just saying, give me the benefit of the doubt.”
“I'm sorry,” I said. All he was trying to do was be someone I could talk to and work off of. But once again, I put my foot in my mouth. “I guess only God can help me work all of this out.”
“Well, have you talked to Him? Have you prayed about it?”
“That's interestingâI can't even remember the last time I prayed. I've just been going through the motions. That's how I ended up with some guy I didn't know, wishing I was with you and ... you don't want to hear all of that,” I said, realizing I was talking too much.
“RIGHT! I don't want to hear all of that. I wish I would have known that you wanted to work things out with me. My spring break was miserable, Hayden, because I didn't know where you were. Maybe your girls are miserable without you around them too.”
“They haven't called.”
“I haven't called you either. Sometimes people are afraid of rejection. They kicked you out, what do they look like coming back asking for forgiveness and for you to come back. I'm sorry, but I know them.”
“Well, I saw a couple of them tonight at your party. One of them brushed by me and never said excuse me. It was like an intentional jab. There's nothing that can be fixed between us.”
“Well, like you said, maybe nothing you can fix on your own. But if you believe in the One up above in Heaven and you know He granted your desire by allowing you to be a member of the organization in the first place, then He can show you how to resolve this with His word. I don't know many scriptures, but I certainly know about the one where it goes, âCome to me all ye who are weary and heavy laden.' ”
“Yeah,” I said, “ âAnd I will give you rest ... Place your cares upon me because my yoke is easy and my burden is light.' ”
“See, you feel it. You can even quote it,” Creed said to me. “Stand on it, Hayden.”
We were at my door. I hugged him tight and said, “Thanks Lord, for giving me this guy. Let us do it your way. Amen. Now Creed, get out of here. I'm fine.”
“No, I'm just going to wait until you get inside.”
“I'm fine. I see you giving me a hard time,” I said.
Before I could get upstairs to the dimly lit front door of my apartment, Butch, my ex-boyfriend, came from the bushes and grabbed me, putting his hand over my mouth. Even though I tried to yell as loud as I could, his big rough hands prevented anything from coming out.
“I was wondering when you were going to come home. I thought you were going to stay out all night. You wouldn't give it up to me last year, but you gonna be all into the boy I made a Pi? How you think that makes me look? Answer me. Answer me!” he yelled out as he shook me hard.
I couldn't answer him. He was still holding on to me as he dragged me back behind the bushes. I knew he was a jerk, which is why I broke up with him. But I didn't know he could be so over-the-top and violent. He had already hurt my arm earlier in the evening. What in the world was he planning to do to me now? And Creed had wanted to wait when he dropped me off, but dumb me told him to go on. I was only ten feet away from my door. Now, I was scared.
“I'm a senior, about to graduate. I got a job waiting on me. I'm going to be a lawyer one day and you trying to tell me that you don't want this.”
“HELP!” I yelled out, but a mean sucker punch caught me in my jaw. The gory taste of my own blood filled my mouth.
“I'm sorry. I didn't meant to do that,” he said, getting real close to me.
His sweet attitude change reminded me of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
“You can't deny what is mine. Don't cause no trouble. We'll have a good little party. Then I'll let you go on your merry little way. After I get mine, I won't care if Creed takes my leftovers. Now though, I want this and I know you ain't gave it to him yet,” Butch said, as he put his hand up my shirt.
My eyes watered as he unbuckled his pants while one arm was around my throat. “Don't do this.”
“I didn't want our first time to be like this. I didn't want it to be outside. I wanted it to be comfortable on a nice plush bed. You know I got a waterbed at my apartment, but you wouldn't work with me. You wouldn't give me what I deserved, so now I've just got to take it. Don't fight me though. You'll love it.”
He was having trouble getting his pants all of the way down and when he eased up off of me just a little, I used my elbows to move backward. Nothing was going in my favor. I could not get away.
Angrily he snarled, “I tried to play it right last year, Hayden. I took you to all those fancy little dinners, introduced you to all of the right people and you basically spat in my face by breaking up with me. We're not in high school anymore so of course I'm going to want a little piece. But I was willing to let that go. I could have made up some rumor about you to save my reputation, but then you got to parade one of my frat brothers all up in my face. He gonna try to stand up for you at a party because I want what's mine. Whatever, I'ma show him. He couldn't get you to give him none. At the end of the day he is the weaker man. You try to play that little innocent role, but deep within I know you're easy.”
My body temperature was rising so fast. I disliked Butch before this, but now I hated him. I mustered up as much spit and blood as I could and spat it right in his face.
“You hussy! But that's goodâdon't play the victim, give me a little of that sauce. I know you've got some within you, make it fun for me. Fight me, fight me!” he said as he ripped open my shirt and put his filthy hands all over my chest.
“Stop it, stop it! Get off of me!” I screamed.
“What, I didn't do enough to get you to shut up? What, you trying to get me in trouble? You trying to get people to come out here?”
Lord, You've got to help me. I know I haven't talked to You in a while and I know it always seems that I come and talk to You when I am at my lowest, but this guy is going to really hurt me
, I prayed.
, I prayed.
Then I heard my front door open and the light come on. “Hayden, are you out there?” Chandra called.
“Y'all, we've got to find her,” Bridget said.
“She's out here somewhere,” Myra said.
He quickly covered my mouth. I knew as he looked around, he was panicked. Rightfully so. He cornered me when I was helpless. How cowardly.
“Dang it!” Butch said.
It didn't matter from that point that he was frustrated. So was I. I was already beat up. He had taken a lot from me, but he wasn't going to take what he wanted. With my free hand, I pinched between his legs and when he jerked up, I yelled, but I wasn't loud enough.
“Where is she?” Creed asked in a panic. “I dropped her off. I'm so glad one of you guys answered your house phone.”
“Her car is here, but she's not inside. I'm calling the cops,” Bridget said, running back into the house.
“Help!” I screamed again, louder this time. Butch hit me again.
The next thing I knew, Creed was pounding Butch's face. My girls helped me off the cold, hard ground and took me inside.
Hallelujah
, I thought, as I saw tears of joy flow from their eyes. I must have looked horrible. God heard my plea and looked out for me.
Hallelujah
, I thought as tears came from my eyes as well, as I knew what the Lord had just allowed me to escape from.
, I thought, as I saw tears of joy flow from their eyes. I must have looked horrible. God heard my plea and looked out for me.
Hallelujah
, I thought as tears came from my eyes as well, as I knew what the Lord had just allowed me to escape from.
After giving a statement to the police, I was able to relax some. Turns out Creed had only gone a few miles up the road before he called my house to see if I had made it in. Chandra told him I wasn't in the house, so he immediately turned around and they came out looking for me.
When I looked into the mirror, I didn't even recognize myself. After initially refusing, I ended up going to the emergency room for treatment. Word spread around campus pretty fast. Though they were keeping me overnight for observation, I was surprised to wake up and see Bea, Audria, Dena and Sharon standing over me.
“She's waking up, y'all,” Sharon said.
I tried to say hello, but my jaw and mouth were too swollen. I wanted to tell them I was sorry and to please give me another chance. But I guess the tears that welled up in my eyes told them all they needed to hear.
“We're sorry too,” Audria said.
“Especially me,” Bea said, as she came onto the other side of the bed and held my hand. “Am I hurting you? Hayden, I pushed you away. Now I just want you to go off on me, because I guess hearing you fuss at me would be better than having you say nothing at all. I was so wrong.”
“I told these jokers to call you a long time ago,” Dena said.
“Well, you know that we couldn't make up our mind as to who would be president, so you're still it. So you've got to come back to us.”
“Yeah,” Audria said, “I've been praying that we all get together. I've been feeling bad because I asked the Lord to make it happen at any cost. We need you. However, I didn't want you to end up in the hospital.”
“If I see Butch myself I could just kill him,” Bea said, with an angry look I had never before seen. And I had seen Bea angry.
She'll have to get in line on that one,
I thought, as I tried to crack a smile. It was so good to see them all.
I thought, as I tried to crack a smile. It was so good to see them all.
“I know you've got a lot of people that care for you. It's amazing to me that a GDI, MEM, a Nu and a Beta could all get along like you and your roommates have proven to do this year. I think deep down, a couple of us were jealous of that relationship. We're supposed to be sisters and have that emotional bond, but we failed you.”
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