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Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore

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BOOK: Work What You Got
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Myra said, “Every time I want to do something, we're either studying or planning some kind of event, so you're right, I allowed my sorority duties and ego to pull me away from our friendship too.”
They looked at me, and I just had to keep it real and be honest with them. “It's not even like I'm all involved with my sorority anymore. After being kicked out, I guess I've been wallowing in my own self pity and I haven't opened up to you guys. But Bridget, I can't thank you enough for bringing Tammy and Penelope over to try and help. I don't think I ever thanked you properly. I guess what I'm saying is although it seems like we are going in different directions, we are still here for one another. Chandra, I don't think that will ever go away.”
“But Chandra, you can pledge MEM and we can be even tighter,” Bridget said.
“She knows she wants to wear brown and peach if she wears anything,” Myra said.
“I can't even front and ask you to pledge Beta, we are so messed up,” I said, as they laughed.
“I think I'm just fine being a G.D.I.”
“What's that?” Bridget asked.
“Girl, you know that's a Got D ... Independent,” Chandra chimed out loudly.
“Oh, that's right,” Bridget said, laughing.
“You know we love you right? And any time you want us to be better, just hit us in the head. You always been good at that,” I teased.
“Hit
them
in the head,” Bridget said. “You can just come and tell me.”
“I hear y'all, thanks,” Chandra said, feeling better as we shared a group hug.
Later on we played a few games in the casino. Myra and Chandra won fifty dollars apiece, but Bridget and I were losing money, so we decided to walk to the resort part of the hotel. I couldn't believe it when we came across two guys that were so fine neither one of us knew which one we wanted to talk to.
“Okay, they are gorgeous,” I said.
“Chandra would approve, non-Greeks. If they were Greeks they would be sporting paraphernalia,” Bridget said.
“Oh my gosh, they are coming this way,” I told her.
One of the guys went over to Bridget and said something. The other one, who was a little taller and stockier, came over to me. All of my pearly whites were showing.
“I'm sorry, I know it must have seemed as if we were staring, but you two are gorgeous. Let me introduce myself. I'm Taylor Black, from Louisiana. The two of us should have dinner tonight.”
“Well, I'm with my girls and I am sure they won't mind coming with us later tonight,” I said, letting him know I wasn't going to be alone with him.
“Hey Hayden! I'll be right over here,” Bridget said, as she walked with Taylor's friend around the corner.
“Looks like one of your girls is going to be occupied. You said you got two more. I got two friends too—maybe all eight of us could go to dinner.”
“Yea, that works,” I replied.
 
Later that evening, I was sipping on a glass of wine in Taylor's hotel room. I couldn't remember how I got there. Taylor's lips were going up and down my neck but I was so confused. I could swear I was looking at Creed. I felt funny.
Trying to move away from him, I said, “Stop.”
“What, you got a boyfriend or something?” Taylor asked, extremely irritated.
“I don't know you,” I said boldly.
“Well, I'm trying to change that and make it a little bit better. Let my hands do some magic over your body. You'll get to know me just fine.”
“We aren't even alone. Your friends are right in the other room,” I said, as he slithered his hands up my shirt.
“And your friends are there too, so nothing can happen to you that you don't want to,” he said, as he started feeling all over me.
“No!”
“I want to take this to the next level. Let me,” he said, as he tried to unfasten my bra.
At that moment it was clear to me that I needed to find a way out of there. I don't know if it was the girls kicking me out of the sorority, or my breakup with Creed, but some way, some how, I was going to have to get a hold of my life and stop doing absolutely idiotic things. Yeah, this guy was fine, but I didn't know him. I was drinking with him, when I didn't even drink. What was I doing?
“Chandra, help me,” I shouted out.
I moved to the corner of the bed. I was wobbly, but I needed him off me. I called out for Chandra again, this time louder and she quickly came into the room.
“You got to help me. I have to get out of here, I feel sick.”
“Wait, don't take her anywhere, I got ya girl,” Taylor said to Chandra.
“Naw partner, you don't know how deep our friendship is. Let's go, Hayden,” she said.
She called out to Bridget and Myra. I felt so woozy. Then all three of them helped me out of Taylor's hotel room.
“Partner, she's just getting started. Bring her back,” Taylor said, trying to convince my girls to leave me there.
Chandra snarled at him like a mama grizzly bear protecting her cub and said, “I am not your partner. Thanks for dinner. Maybe we'll see you guys around before we head back, but I'm going to take care of my girl. She's my priority.”
16
BOLDLY
A
s soon as we got into our hotel room, Chandra threw me on the bed and hit me upside my head. “Okay, so do you think that was just the stupidest thing you ever did or what, girl?”
“What? What do you mean?” I said, groggy and disoriented.
“You don't drink and you had four glasses of wine. You don't even know that fool. He could've raped you!”
“I know, you're right. All I kept thinking about was Creed. When I realized this other guy's lips were all over me, I knew I was in over my head. Do you think Creed will forgive me?” I said, leaning my head on Chandra's lap.
“Girl, I'm going off on you right now, trying to make you understand that you have to become responsible and you talkin' about some other boy. Whatever, get this. You've got too much going on to be so careless,” Chandra scolded.
“Well, the smartest thing she did was bring us with her,” Myra said.
“You gotta admit though,” Bridget interjected, “all those guys were cute!”
Chandra said, “Yeah, until they proved to be scum buckets.”
“That's not-not-not nice to talk-talk about people,” I said, slurring my words.
“You just hush,” Chandra said to me, as she helped me get into bed.
“I'm feeling a little woozy too,” Bridget said, leaning over.
Myra said, “See, I told you, Chandra! We saw those guys slip something into our drinks. I'm so glad we declined everything and we didn't leave with the two guys we were with.”
“Yeah, we stood our ground and told them we weren't going nowhere,” Chandra added.
“Thank you for not leaving me, thank you,” I uttered, still feeling really bad. “You think they put something in our drinks? Oh my gosh, this is horrible. I'm gonna die!”
“Girl, you are not gonna die,” Chandra said, taking off my shoes.
Finally, Bridget and I fell out.
 
The next morning, I had a headache. It felt like a ton of bricks was pressed up against my head.
“Come on, we got to get out of here. Let's go home,” Chandra said. “Get up, you two!”
She tried getting me and Bridget up, but neither of us moved a muscle. I didn't have a lot of experience with being with guys that I didn't know. But obviously, I could see I'd made a mistake I didn't need to make again. How fortunate I was that my girls had my back.
“As soon as we got you home, you guys passed out! It's clear that those guys were up to no good for sure,” Chandra said, reminding us of what transpired the night before.
Though I hated that I didn't have that kind of bond with my line sisters anymore, it was a serious blessing that I still had my roommates. We had all chosen different paths, but we still had a connection that showed up in the nick of time.
 
On the drive back home, Myra uttered, “So you know you were talking about Creed last night. I guess you haven't forgotten him, huh?”
“I hear he's still not dating anyone,” Bridget uttered, throwing the hint that Tammy, her chapter president, had definitely left him alone.
“I was not talking about Creed. You guys are making that up,” I said, knowing all the while that I truly did miss that man.
“Well, I know him,” Chandra said, “and he'd be so mad that you threw yourself at the first guy that came along on a vacation.”
“You got to admit, he was cute,” Bridget said.
“Girl, will you quit that! You mentioned that last night. Cute's gonna get you killed,” Chandra said.
Bridget swerved off the road and she joked, “Be nice to the driver. I can get you killed too. I'm behind the wheel.”
“Girl, don't lose your mind,” Chandra said to her.
The four of us laughed and joked all the way back home. Bridget and I still had splitting headaches, so we pulled over so Chandra could drive.
“Black women just don't like asking for help. We think we can do it all and be it all,” Chandra said when she got behind the wheel. “I mean Bridget, you knew you were tired and weren't feeling well. Why didn't you just ask somebody else to drive?”
“I don't know,” she said. “I'm just used to carrying a load.”
“Yeah,” Myra agreed. “It's very rare that other people pick up the slack for you or want to help, so you just have to learn how to deal with it and move on.”
“Shouldn't our friendship be more?” I responded from the backseat. “Shouldn't we be bold enough to tell each other when we're not doing the right thing and strong enough to know that the criticism is coming for the right reasons?”
“Yes, so hear me,” Chandra said. “You care about Creed and you care about those Beta girls. All you can do is let people know what's really going on in your heart. If they can't accept you after that, then don't worry about it. It's not on you. But you're not a coward and you're not perfect. So stand up and speak the truth. I think when you're really deep and true with the people you really care about, you'll be surprised at their reaction.”
“Thanks,” I said to her, and then I leaned back and prayed that all of my problems would just go away.
 
It was Pi Lambda Beta week and they were having an all-night outdoor slam filled with music, food and dancing. It must've been a night of new beginnings for me, because I stepped into the place wearing my Beta Gamma Pi letters. Even though I knew I was ostracized by my peers, those letters were still a part of me. Myra stood beside me with her Rho Tau Nu brown and peach T-shirt on and Bridget was on the other side sporting silver and gold. Chandra had some studying to do so she didn't make it.
Then of course a group of my line sisters walked in and cut between us, pushing me on my shoulder. It was rather rude. As soon as I could see who it was that pushed me, I was not shocked to see Bea.
But then a familiar voice said, “That was really rude.”
When I looked over my other shoulder, I was surprised to see Trisha. I wanted to hug her, but I quickly remembered our relationship was strained. My feet didn't walk away, but I didn't move toward her either.
She smiled and said, “Hey Hayden. I haven't seen you in months. I hear you're on the outs like me. Not that you did anything to deserve it, but I'm sort of tired of being ostracized. I did wrong and I needed to come out of hiding, so here I am.”
“We'll let you two talk,” Myra said, pulling Bridget away.
“Do we have to leave?” Bridget said under her breath.
“I'll catch up with you two later,” I laughed. I had such great friends, ready to give me privacy to work out my differences with my soror.
“You hate me, don't you?” Trisha said boldly when I didn't return her smile.
“No, I don't hate you. You probably hate me for exposing it all. I had to be the one to try to do what's right, and I think I just ended up pushing everyone away.”
“No, you were right to call me out, even though it hurt. I think it's made me better. I've cheated on tests in school. I've stolen a pair of jeans from the mall. I've even told the bank that I deposited more money than I really had, and convinced them their system was wrong,” Trisha confessed. Her news shocked me. “I don't know, I've always been just trying to get it worked out. It's just hard. Not having money to go to school messed me up in some other areas. Breaking the law is never good. You pushed for me to be treasurer when we were voting that day. You believed that I would have your back and do what was right and I didn't. I let you down.”
“It's alright, girl. We all mess up,” I said, remembering I needed grace myself and giving her a big hug.
“Do you mean it? Hayden, really? You forgive me?”
“Girl, I am not God and I'm certainly no jury.”
She said, “Thanks for convincing the girls to help me raise the money I needed to pay the sorority back. I won't have to go to jail. I can't even tell you how much I owe you. What can I do?”
“Just be you,” I said to her, really happy that though the chapter hated helping her, we did something good for Trisha.
“You sure you want me to do that?” she said, reflecting on her past.
“Okay, well be a better you than you have ever been before. But you can't get away from who you are, Trisha. You can't run away from things that tempt you. You have got to fix you from the inside, or when no one's looking you'll mess up again.”
“I hear what you're saying,” she said, as she started smiling. “Well, hey, it looks like somebody wants to talk to you. We'll chat later.”
“Huh?” I said, confused.
Then she pointed behind me. When I turned, my eyes got so wide. It was Creed.
“I was hoping you'd come out tonight,” he said, cutting straight to the chase. “I miss you, girl.”
Then all of a sudden, Butch appeared on my right and Butch started yanking on my arm. “Hey, wait a minute! We ain't gonna have none of that here. I told you, man. I'm trying to get with her.”
“Ow!” I yelled, as I felt him squeeze me.
“Man, let her go.”
“You ain't gonna tell me what to do!” Butch said, pushing Creed back.
“
You
ain't gonna tell
me
what to do. Let her go!” Creed shouted.
“Please let my hand go, ow!” I said, yanking it away.
Of course Myra and Bridget came over to my side quickly. Everybody piled around Creed and the jerk.
“I know you my frat brother, boy, but I'm tired of you pushing me around. You ain't even gotta haze me no more, I already got my letters,” Creed hollered out.
“You will do whatever I say, when I say it.” He came over and pushed Creed again.
“You better get Creed out of here,” Myra said to me. “He needs to be away from that crazy fool.”
“Come on, Creed, let's go. He ain't even worth it,” I said, as I tugged at Creed's arm.
“I got this, Hayden, please! I'm sick and tired of his big mouth. Always trying to get up in my face.”
“Oh, you gonna let your woman try to come and tell you to get away from the fire. Wimp,” Butch said.
“That's just the point. Now, you get it. She ain't yours,” Creed said to him.
“Whatever, man.”
“Come on, Creed, let it go. Let him call us whatever names he wants. Let's go.” Creed finally walked with me away from Butch.
Butch yelled, “I don't want her stuck-up, virgin tail no way. She ain't gonna want you after she know all the honeys you been hittin' since you got your letters.”
Automatically, my heart sank to the ground. If Creed wanted to stand there and argue with him, that was his choice. I could no longer deal with it. I knew Creed and I weren't together, but a part of my heart belonged to him and it hurt to hear he had been with other girls. Before we could be reunited, clearly we were through, 'cause his heart did not belong to me.
“Hayden, wait up, wait up! Come on now, please, wait up!” Creed said to me as I walked to my car. “Come on now. Give me a chance to explain.”
“What? What do you have to say to me? Was Butch lying?”
I got no answer. I threw my hands in the air—his silence was proof he was a dog. “Okay then. Just let me go.”
Bridget's voice was behind me. “Wait up, Hayden. Here we come.”
Then I heard Myra tell Creed, “Please, just let her go. She's been through a lot. She can't deal with this right now.”
“And to think I told her you weren't messing with nobody,” Bridget said in a nasty way, which was so the opposite of my friend.
Those two were being so sweet. I loved their support of me dearly. I so learned that being there for your friend through anything was what every friend should try and do.
“Nah, y'all, I need to talk to her,” I heard Creed say. “I need to talk to her now.”
I just kept walking. Creed needed to go back to the party and walk on up to another girl. Yes, he was fine, smart, and now a Pi, but so what.
He ran up to me all out of breath and said, “Please, please give me a chance to explain.”
“You just stood in my face and told me that you miss me, but you forgot to tell me the part that you have been with other girls. Is that true?”
“It's not true.”
“What's not true?”
“Okay, okay. I was with this one girl, but I was drunk. I was thinking about you and it was a mess.”
BOOK: Work What You Got
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