Worse Than Being Alone (2 page)

“
Harley, get out here you son of a
bitch,” I shouted as I placed my hands on my hips.

Harley Edelin, scraggily beard and long gray hair
tightly controlled in a braid that trailed down his back, strolled
out of the barn and wiped his grease-stained hands on a towel. A
beefy man, he had huge, mirthful, magnet-like brown eyes that
immediately captured everyone’s attention.

Harley started laughing when he realized the reason
for my anger. “Wow, I forgot about those damn bluebirds. I think
it’s the mirrors. They seem to zero in on them for some reason. I’m
sorry, Kitty.”

“
You’re not sorry, you did it on
purpose,” I said, stomping my right foot in disgust, relieved that
I had decided to put the top up when I arrived.

Trying to feign innocence, Harley
said. “That’s really harsh, Kitty. I can’t believe you’d think I’d
do that. And to think I’ve been smoking meat all afternoon for your
dinner.”

“
Nice try, Harley,” I said.
“You’re the biggest drama queen I’ve ever met. Trust me, I’m going
to get even with you.”

Still fuming, I climbed in the car
and waited until we reached the highway before I said
anything.

“
So, Roni, are you going to try
and convince me Harley didn’t do that on purpose?”

“
Not a chance,” Roni said. “Harley
loves to torment you.”

Three hours later, we had bagged our slacker and
were headed back for barbeque. I wasn’t sure if it was my
imagination or actual fingers of smoke that seemed to guide the
way. Even a city girl appreciated the incredible smell of meat
smoking.

“
How did it go with that guy at
the softball game?” Harley asked as we dug into pulled pork
sandwiches.

“
I ended up feeling sorry for the
guy,” Roni said. “He had no idea what was happening. Kitty kept
jumping up and down and I’m sure he thought the twins would escape
any minute. He was playing first base and Kitty stood near him,
smiling and winking. Eventually he started to show off, diving for
balls and running at full speed.”

“
All those things someone with a
real back injury wouldn’t be able to do,” Harley
observed.

“
You got it,” Roni said. “I
recorded the whole thing. The poor guy played his heart out,
probably hoping to hand it to Kitty when the game ended. I’m sure
he was dismayed when he realized Kitty had suddenly disappeared as
soon as the game ended.”

“
Isn’t that entrapment?” Harley
asked.

“
We prefer to call it justice,” I
said.

“
Or, what goes around comes
around,” Roni said.

After a satisfying meal, we sat on the hi-back
rockers on the porch and watched the sun slide below the horizon
amid a scarlet and pink blush. Tree frogs began their nightly
lament, joined by frogs from the nearby pond that had been hatching
at a furious rate.

Reluctantly, I said goodnight and
headed for my car, feeling mellow, and for once, almost
understanding the allure of the country. I climbed in and started
driving down the gravel road that led away from their
house.

Sudden awareness I wasn’t alone caused an immediate
adrenaline rush and the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. An
almost inaudible scratching sound caught my attention. Afraid to
stop, I continued driving without picking up speed, both hands on
the wheel as I constantly checked my rear-view mirror.

A mewling sound that slowly crept up from the floor
in the back seat increased my terror, causing me to brake suddenly;
my only thought was escaping the entity in the back of my car. I
had barely placed my left hand on the door handle when I sensed
that something had jumped on the back of my seat. I started
screaming when I felt the sharp claws dig into my shoulder.

Chapter Two

The next morning, as I headed back to Dr. Mirren’s
office, I remembered my dark, terrifying encounter the night before
that had caused several vivid nightmares. Bristling with fear, I
had stopped screaming only because it occurred to me the animal
clawing my shoulder might escalate its attack due to my continued
shrieking. Too scared to breathe, I waited for my attacker to act.
Suddenly, a calico cat jumped down into my lap, purring and meowing
as it burrowed in next to my arm.

Relief replaced my terror until I
started laughing so hard I was sure I was going to pee my pants.
Eventually, my relief morphed into a slow burning anger. Visions of
Harley laughing while he recounted my discovering the cat added
fuel to the fire.

As I stroked the cat, I considered simply turning
around and putting the animal back in the barn. I decided to give
the matter more consideration. After all, revenge was supposed to
be sweet.

“
We’ll have to give this some
thought,” I said. “I think I’ll call you Harley. I hope you are a
Harley. In the meantime, you can live with me until we can come up
with an appropriate response. That son of a bitch is going to get
it this time.”

As soon as I had arrived at my condo and let Harley
in the door, he headed for my closet and made himself a bed on a
pile of old towels. I watched as he dragged and dug his way into
his own comfort zone. Satisfied, he promptly fell asleep. I made a
mental note to either take him to the Humane Society or get a
litter box and cat food.

When I woke up
,
I felt a warm body nuzzled against
my back and turned over. Harley and I both stretched at the same
time. As I got a better look at Harley, I realized the name I had
given him was totally inappropriate. Harley was a very pregnant
female. Looming motherhood sealed the deal. Litter box and cat food
it would be.

Later, arriving at Dr. Mirren’s office, I parked in
the crowded lot and got in line at the reception desk. Peggy, Dr.
Mirren’s perky, sarcastic assistant, greeted me warmly after I
finally made it to the front.

“
Well, look who’s here,” she
muttered. “I’ll bet you’re here with Mary Spencer. We’ve already
nicknamed her Mary Poppins.”

“
Do I want to know why?” I
asked.

Peggy couldn’t seem to stop laughing until she
suddenly whispered. “Cause she’s way out there like Mary Poppins
with her little umbrella.”

I sighed and said. “Oh, no. Not again.”

“
You and Roni sure get some weird
clients,” Peggy said. “Mary came an hour early so she’s already
gone. Why don’t you go back to the case manager’s room? I’ll tell
Dr. Mirren you’re here.”

I grabbed a bottle of water from the little fridge
in the case manager’s lounge and had barely finished one sip when
Heidi Mirren stormed into the room, which was empty except for me.
As usual, my attention was drawn to her extremely muscular legs.
Her calves reminded me of anvils, and I wondered why someone with
legs that looked like that would choose to wear short skirts every
day.

My first impulse was to ask her, but I considered
Heidi a friend and hurting her feelings seemed cruel. Besides, she
would probably demand to know what I thought was wrong with her
legs and I certainly didn’t want to go there. Instead, I focused on
her flat face, short gray hair, and pug nose. I was ready to grab
the small glasses that looked like they were going to slide off the
end of her nose. Heidi didn’t bother to conceal her expression, a
cross between incredulity and amusement.

Unable to contain herself any longer Heidi asked.
“Where do you get these people? Every time I see that you or Roni
are the case managers on a patient’s file, I cringe.”

“
Believe me, I feel your pain. I’m
not sure whether it’s some cosmic joke or intentional, but we do
seem to get a lot of nut cases. I haven’t met Mary Spencer yet.
What’s her story?”

“
She’s a world class-whack job,”
Heidi said. “She’s 48 years old and her mother came with her. She
actually called her Mommy. I was trying to get a history; Mary was
telling me how she bent over to pick up a box at work when she
heard a pop. She claims she’s been having excruciating pain ever
since. Then all of a sudden Mary stands up in front of both of us
and pees on the floor.”

“
Ooh. Mommy issues,
huh?”

“
I think that’s the tip of the
iceberg,” Heidi Mirren responded. “I guess she’s trying to claim
nerve damage from a low back injury that’s causing her to lose
bladder function. She claims she’s also lost bowel control. I kept
waiting for her to shit on the floor, too.”

“
Has she had any
diagnostics?”

“
She had an MRI that is absolutely
normal,” Heidi said. “Her neuro exam is totally inconsistent. She
claims she can’t feel anything below the waist but all her reflexes
are normal. She’s not smart enough to pull this off. I think she
pulled some symptoms off the Internet and thinks she can fake me
out.”

“
What do you
recommend?”

“
I want to do nerve conduction
studies and a myelogram,” Heidi said. “She can’t fake the results
of those tests and nerve conduction studies really hurt. I guess I
sound vindictive, but I get so sick of these people faking
injuries. The myelogram will give us the best look to see if
there’s really anything going on in her spine. If they’re both
normal, I’m done.”

“
Lets do it,” I said as Heidi
loped out of the room and I headed to the front desk to authorize
the tests and get Mary’s paperwork.

After I left Heidi’s, I stopped at
Target to get my cat supplies, amazed at the number of choices.
Half an aisle was devoted to cat toys. Feeling guilty about
possible cat abuse allegations, I threw a few in the cart. After I
loaded my purchases in the car, I decided to call Roni and see how
her day was going.

“
Hey, Kitty,” Roni said. “How did
it go with our new client?”

“
Another whack job. Some of these
people are starting to scare me.”

“
I know what you mean,” she
said.

“
Say, did you realize Harley
caught the animal in the barn?”

“
Yeah, he told me after you left,”
she said.

“
Did he tell you it was a cat and
he put in my car?”

“
No, he forgot to mention that
part,” Roni said.

“
You realize what this
means?”

“
Yeah, I get it,” she said.
“Payback is a bitch. Just keep the property damage to a minimum,
OK?”

“
All bets are off. That deal with
the birds was bad enough, but I could have crashed my car last
night.”

“
Maybe Harley’s pranks are getting
out of hand,” she said, sounding somewhat distracted.

“
Ya think?”

“
OK then,” I said as I began to
calm down. “What’s with you? Something is bothering you. What’s
going on?”

“
I was thinking about my dad,” she
said. “He called last night after you left. Billy told me he’s been
seeing some woman for several months. He wants me to have lunch
with him tomorrow so I can meet her.”

“
Do you think it’s
serious?”

“
Yeah, I do,” Roni said. “She’s
almost 25 years younger than he is. What does she want? I just have
a really bad feeling about this.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
Well, what if he decides to marry
her?” Roni asked. “It just seems so sudden. You know, now that I
think about it, he hasn’t had much contact with any of us the last
couple of months. I guess it makes sense; he’s been spending all
his time with this woman.”

“
Do you think she’s after Billy’s
money?”

“
The thought crossed my mind,”
Roni said. “I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

“
I guess there’s another
possibility. Are you sure you’re not just jealous?”

“
Pretty sure,” Roni said. “I don’t
think I have those kind of Daddy issues. He kept saying how lonely
he’s been since my mother died. I finally said to him, ‘Dad, get a
grip, there are worse things than being alone’.”

Chapter Three

A phone was ringing somewhere in the background, but
Roni was still clinging to the remnants of a dream in which she was
trying to referee a heated argument between Harley and Kitty over
an annoying flock of bluebirds. It took two more strident rings to
make the fantasy dissolve, replaced by an awareness of bright
sunlight hitting the bottom of the trees behind the house.

“
Hello,” Roni said
sleepily.

“
Roni, it’s Dad. We’re not going
to be able to have lunch at the Club. They’re closed because of a
water main break. How about we meet at Bertolli’s
instead?”

“
Sure, that sounds fine. Same
time?”

“
Yes, I’ll call and make a
reservation,” he said. “See you then.”

As he hit the end button on the phone, Billy Diamond
couldn’t help thinking about yesterday’s conversation with Roni.
The call seemed awkward because the right words never seemed to
take shape no matter how Billy had tried to arrange them.

Convinced Roni could be persuaded to accept Marian
if he could just express his feelings eloquently enough, Billy
didn’t seem to understand that Roni wouldn’t remember or care about
the words. Suddenly, Billy realized that Roni might never be able
to accept his relationship with Marian Cirillo. That’s when he
decided to scrap the conversation and just have them meet over
lunch.