Worth The Fight (Hard To Love Book 1) (10 page)

I turn my head and look at Bryce who’s lying next to me on the sun loungers that we dragged into the back yard from the garage. The sun went down over an hour ago and we’ve just been lying here talking. I stopped drinking a while ago, after telling Bryce about my past I thought it was the safer option. I've never told anyone how I lost my virginity and I became so defensive about it because I know it was wrong. Even as it was happening I knew I shouldn’t have been there, so I’d closed my eyes and prayed for it to end. The amount I drank tonight made me talk about things I shouldn’t have, and it hurt more than I thought it would when I was telling him about it. The pain from my dad treating me like he did, the way he thought it was more acceptable for his friends to beat me than for me to have feelings for men, it tore my heart out. To see Bryce’s face when he listened, to know that he could see how wrong it was but my own dad didn’t, that made it feel worse. But I'm actually glad I told him, for some reason I feel a lighter now, like there is less pressure pushing down on my shoulders.

“So you’re telling me that you’ve never had biscuits and gravy?” He laughs, probably finding my horror a bit dramatic.
But shit, how the hell could he have lived in America for more than a week and not tasted the best thing in the world?

“I repeat, I have never had biscuits and gravy. I was in a café and saw them serving it up and I have to say it didn’t look appetizing. How the hell can you eat that crap?” My mouth hangs open, shocked that he dares dis one of my favorite meals.

“I swear, if I could be bothered to move, you would be in so much trouble.” I hear an even bigger laugh and I can’t help but smile. The last few hours have been the most comfortable I’ve experienced in a long time. I don’t often just get to be myself around someone without anything being expected of me. When I go out with the guys it’s great, but I always feel as though I have to be Zeke ‘The Storm’ Raine instead of just Zeke. It’s completely different with Bryce, I can show him the side that I usually hide, and he hasn’t run away yet.

“I think we may need to start a diet sheet as well. I seriously thought you would know the basics but now I'm beginning to wonder.” He shakes his head at me, looking like the perfect disappointed coach, except any coach I've ever had hasn’t been as hot as him.

“Bryce?” He raises his eyebrows and waits for me to continue. “Fucking bite me.” His eyes soften as he takes in my words, and when his expression changes and his eyes heat with passion, I realize what I've just said. The look Bryce gives me, the one that says he’s only too willing to have his mouth on me, makes my shorts suddenly feel too tight. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again. I'm not sure if he’s meant to look less turned on now, but it’s failing.

“I have so many answers to that, and none of them are suitable or remotely clean.” He shakes his head, making a show of sucking his lips into his mouth. I sit up, placing my legs in the space between our loungers and lean forward with my elbows resting on my knees.

“Are you cold?” I ask as Bryce follows me, mimicking my position and his leg brushes against mine.

“Are you kidding, it’s so fucking hot here I don’t think I’ll ever be cold again.” I laugh at his answer and his body shifts slightly until we’re both leaning towards each other.

“You get used to it. You won’t even notice it soon.” I have no idea why I'm talking about the weather but if it keeps us moving closer to each other then I’m willing to talk about the fucking precipitation levels in the air. I can feel his breath against my lips and I think I might pass out. I might be confused about what to do about Bryce, but when he's this close I know I'm not confused about my feelings. It’s like an attraction but on a deeper level, like it’s something written deep in our DNA. I would laugh at myself, about the fact that I’m talking like a chick but when Bryce’s breath brushes over my lips I lose all ability to do anything but feel.

“Can I please kiss you, Zeke? But just so we’re clear, if you don’t want me to I need to leave right now.” I don’t bother answering him as I lean forward until our lips meet. Immediately a sense of peace flows through my body and I finally feel like I'm home. I don’t know if I would class myself as gay, but I know I need to hand over my man card to Bryce since he has me thinking like a love sick girl.

Our lips tangle together gently, both of us happy to take our time. This is different than in the corridor at Joe’s. I'm pretty sure it’s because we both feel a little more certain about things, and Bryce must feel happier now I've had his dick in my hand. I know that first night he was worried he was pushing me into something I didn’t want, well now I've shown him that I'm exactly where I want to be. Bryce’s hand moves up and works its way into the back of my hair, pulling on it as he presses harder against my lips. I groan into his mouth as he pushes slowly back down on the lounger with his body before coming to lie on top of me. He presses into me and I notice that our bodies line up perfectly like we were made for each other. I've only ever known the softness of a woman’s body and even though this feels very different, I know it feels very right. His body matches mine: hard muscle and chiseled lines and it makes me achingly hard. I'm panting when he pulls back, his hand cupping my cheek as he looks deep into my eyes.

“I should have asked, is this okay for you? I just needed to feel you.” I answer his question by lifting my hips and rubbing my cock along his, our matching hardness causing a delicious friction between us. His head drops to my shoulder as his body shudders on top of mine. I’ve never dreamed that rubbing against another cock would give me so much pleasure, but I know that I don’t want it to stop. My entire focus is on our cocks, nothing else is important. That is until I feel his hand touching my stomach. His hands caress my abs and it’s my turn to shiver as I feel his fingers moving over my muscles, digging in slightly as he explores me.

I lift my torso off the lounger and pull my t-shirt over my head. He's seen me topless before, hell he's seen me naked, but knowing this time there’s more to is exciting. His eyes roam over me and it feels like he's touching me.

“You are the most perfect thing I've ever seen.” A look of sadness crosses his face and he pulls his hand away. I reach up to cup his jaw, running my thumb along his cheek.

“Hey, where did you go?” He blinks a few times before his eyes come back into focus. He smiles down at me, but it no longer reaches his eyes.

“I'm here with you. I don’t want to be anywhere else.” I don’t know what he was just thinking about but I know the moment is gone. He looks so sad and I want to know why, I want to ask him what happened in his past but I respect his privacy. I understand the need to keep secrets and if he wants to share them he will when he’s ready.

He pushes himself off me and returns to his lounger again, rubbing his hands over his face as he does.

“I'm sorry, I completely killed the moment. Maybe I should go?” I sit up and grab his hands, pulling them into my lap. He looks at me and I feel a smile touch my lips.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” I don’t know what makes me ask, but all I can think about is how amazing it would be to wake up with him in my arms in the morning. I’ve never wanted to hold someone as much as I do him and I'm hoping he agrees. He raises his eyebrows at me and I look at him in confusion. I repeat the question in my head and it hits me how suggestive it might sound to him.

“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. As stupid as it sounds, and I can’t believe I'm admitting this. I'm a fighter dammit, I never do this.” I make sure I'm looking him in the eye as I speak, letting him know that I mean every single word. “But I want you to spend the night and I want to hold you while you sleep.” The sexiest blush covers Bryce’s cheeks. Fuck, he is so attractive, I have no idea what he sees in me. I'm new to this and I'm going to make so many mistakes, but I'm planning on holding onto him as long as I can. I brush my hand over his cheek, feeling the heat under my fingers and I realize I need to man up and show him that I am all Alpha, and I will, tomorrow, after I hold him.

“I think I’d like that. One question though, who’s spooning who?” He winks and I laugh as I stand and grab his hand, pulling him up behind me.

“You’re a funny man, Mr. Tanner, a funny, funny man.” His laughter follows me as I drag him down the hall to my room.

Chapter Ten

I wake in the morning surrounded by heat. It feels amazing and I don’t want to move but there is a rather large dick pushing into my arse. That causes a smile to appear on my face and I push my arse back to meet it. A groan meets my ear with a breeze of warm breath. My dick instantly goes from semi hard to fully erect in the blink of an eye.

“I'm pretty sure I could wake up like this every morning. Your ass feels amazing.” The words are whispered in my ear just before his lips brush over my neck.
Fuck, I could wake up like this every morning as well, I'm pretty sure this is the best wake up call I've ever had.
I grind against him again, lingering slightly to make sure he doesn’t mistake what I'm doing. Teeth meet my shoulder before the body behind me moves  away, leaving cool air moving over my overheated skin.

“Behave. I'm going to start breakfast. There is an extra toothbrush in the bathroom if you want it. See you in the kitchen.” I roll onto my back and contemplate opening my eyes but I think that not looking at Zeke is the best option at the moment. I'm already at bursting point and I haven’t even seen him in his sleepy hotness yet. If I look at him I don’t know if I will be able to control the urge I have to pin him to the bed and show him how good we could be together.

“Are you trying to tell me I have morning breath?” The bed dips beside my hip and he kisses my lips gently before brushing his nose over mine.

“I tried to be subtle, but I seriously suggest you brush your teeth.” I hear the humour in his voice and laugh as I feel him leave the bed.

Once he leaves the room I brave opening my eyes and look around to see Zeke’s room in the daylight. Last night we’d only put on a small lamp as we lay in bed and talked some more. It was nice, being wrapped in his arms while we spoke about … well pretty much about everything and nothing. Our favorite foods, sports and then we spent a strange ten minutes talking about feminine hygiene products. I laugh as I get up from the bed, and I try to remember how that conversation came up but draw a blank.

I run my hand through my hair and walk in to the hall, trying to get my bearings so I can find the bathroom. I used it last night but everything looks different in the light and it takes me opening a few doors to finally find it. Locking the bathroom door behind me I stand in front of the mirror. I can’t help but notice that my eyes are shining with happiness, the kind of happiness that I thought I would never see again after Austin.
Austin
, my smile falters as I remember him. He's the reason I stopped kissing Zeke last night out in the garden and almost ran from the house. It’s the stupidest thing ever, and I don’t want to spend my life comparing them, but last night I did. When I told Zeke last night that he was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen there wasn’t an ounce of lie in those words. I truly haven’t seen anyone like him before and that caused a lot of guilt to stir inside of me. I loved Austin, I will always love him, but there’s just something about Zeke that makes my heart beat faster. I don’t think I ever looked at Austin and felt my body react the same way it does with Zeke, and I'm having a hard time coping with the feelings. I’ve been alone for the last eighteen months because I felt that I didn’t deserve to be with anyone when I couldn’t protect Austin. It’s my fault that he’s gone. When I first laid eyes on Zeke all thoughts of being alone vanished from my head. Actually, I had no thoughts of Austin at all.

Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me I've been mourning for long enough and it put Zeke Raine in my path for a reason. I'm hoping the reason is the one I want it to be. I want to be with Zeke and I pray to god I'm not fooling myself.

After brushing my teeth I walk towards the kitchen where I hear dishes being moved and music playing. I follow the noise and enter the kitchen where I stop just inside the entrance, my feet suddenly becoming cemented to the floor.
Fuck, this guy is so sexy
. He’s standing by the sink with his back to me. His pyjama shorts hang low on his hips and I want to run over and lick the dimples on his lower back. No one should look this hot in tartan shorts, but my mouth is watering from watching him and my dick is painfully hard. He’s washing up some pots and pans and I can see the muscles in his shoulders flexing. I love hard bodies, but my favorite thing on a guy is a sexy back. I walk over to him quietly, pressing my naked chest to his back and enjoy his body shivering against mine. I lick up the side of his neck and the taste of his skin making me moan in pleasure. God, how I want to devour this man.

“Is it my turn to make you come?” I tease him with my words as I wrap my arms around his waist, tickling his skin just above the top of his shorts with my fingers. His head drops back and he pushes his arse against me.

“Can I taste you? If you don’t want it just say no, but fuck, Zeke, I want you in my mouth.” His stuttered breath gives me confidence that he wants this and I move my hand under the elastic of his shorts.

“You can tell me to stop at any time and I will, but I need to do this. For my own sanity, I need to do this.” I barely recognise the husky voice that comes out of me as I finally wrap my hand around his dick.

“Holy fuck, Bryce.” His body jumps like I've given him an electric shock and I know how he feels. My hand feels like it’s on fire as I rub over his soft skin. He’s everything I imagined he would be: hard and smooth, hot and thick. I tighten my hand around him, loving the way he fills my hand with his size. It’s not enough, I want my mouth around him when he comes.

I carefully pull his shorts over his erection and let them to fall to his ankles. I step back, making sure that Zeke can stand on his own before I drop to my knees, and work myself between his body and the kitchen unit. I make sure I don’t touch him as I settle on my knees and just look up at him, waiting for him to give me the go ahead. His dick is mere inches from my mouth and I can’t help but lick my lips as it twitches. I can see Zeke’s hands clutching the edge of the sink, his knuckles white from the pressure of his grasp and his eyes are wide as he looks down at me. God, he looks fucking sexy when he's turned on. I look up at him, heat passing between us as we look into each other’s eyes. I can feel my body vibrate with need and I give in to the urge to taste him. I flick my tongue out, lightly caressing his head and we both moan when I make contact. He tilts his hips, giving the approval I have been so desperate for. I lick my lips before taking the end of his dick into my mouth. His taste explodes over my taste buds and I moan, pressing my tongue into his slit to try and get more.

“Oh fuck.” I hear the words from above me but I’m too focused on the feeling of him in my mouth. I want to take it slow for him and let him see how good it is when a man blows you. This is his first experience and I want the memory to last forever. I momentarily look up at him as I take him deep into the back of my throat, but I need to close my eyes. The look of sheer pleasure I saw on his face will have me coming in my own shorts if I’d carried on, and I've done that too many times already with this man. Instead I concentrate on taking him deep, sucking on all the areas that I like and hope he likes it too. When I run my tongue behind the head of his dick and gently tease it with little flicks, he pulls down on my chin and I open my mouth for him. He places his dick on my tongue and slides in deep as I try to relax my throat, letting him set the pace he wants.

I reach out and gently cup his balls, pulling on them slightly as he takes full control. His dick hits the back of my throat as he pumps into my mouth making me gag slightly, but I refuse to pull away. Wet hands wrap themselves into my hair and he tugs it as he holds on. I moan, loving the burning sensation that runs through my scalp and makes my skin tingle. It’s been so long since I gave head that I forgot how fucking good it feels doing it. My own dick is like rock and is so close to coming that it’s becoming painful. Zeke’s thrusts falter and he pulls my head back.

“I'm going to come if you don’t stop.”
Why on earth would I stop?
I want to taste him when he explodes on my tongue and to show him what I want, I put my hands on his arse and pull him back into my mouth. I hear a cry from him as I suck, my cheeks hollowing out with the pressure.

“Fuck, Bryce, baby. I'm gonna come.” I bob my head quicker, working up his length to encourage him to let go. The grip on my hair tightens and I'm sure I feel some being pulled out, but I don’t care as drops of pre-cum hit the back of my throat.
Fuck he tastes so good and I want more
. An almost animalistic cry sounds from above me as the first spurts of cum hit my throat. I suck him even harder, moaning as he thrusts his orgasm into my mouth.

When he's given me everything, I let his dick slip from between my lips and he drops to his knees in front of me. He grabs my face and pulls my lips to his, kissing me with such a passion. I know he has to taste himself on my tongue and it makes me even harder, which I didn’t think was possible at this point. His hands fight with the tie on the front of my shorts until he manages to tug them down enough to have has access to my dick. With an almost desperate feeling, he grabs me and immediately begins to run his fist along my length. My eyes roll into my head with pleasure and I grab his shoulders, needing the support to keep myself upright. Embarrassingly it only takes a couple of strokes before I’m coming in his hands for the second time. I lean my body against his, wrapping my arms around him partly because I physically cannot hold my own body up, and partly because I don’t want to give him the chance to run this time.

“Are you okay?” I'm impressed I managed to get any words out let alone ones that actually make sense. My brain is still a little fuzzy from my orgasm. He kisses my ear before responding.

“I have never been fucking better, babe.” I smile as he calls me babe again, loving the way it sounds coming from his lips.