Worth the Scandal (24 page)

It had touched her deep. Even when she didn’t want it to.

“Is she a good baby?”

His question startled her from her thoughts and she set her fork on the edge of her plate. “She is, though she doesn’t sleep through the night yet. She’s still young so…”

“And she’s a—,” he cleared his throat, “—a good eater?”

“Definitely.” Charlotte was a greedy little thing but it felt too intimate, sharing that. The way he looked at her when he discovered her breastfeeding the baby.

It still left her quivery and nervous. The heat in his gaze, the expression on his face, he’d looked at her as if he still desired her.

Could it be true?

“Was the pregnancy easy?”

“It was fine.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Look, are you trying to make yourself feel better for not being there? The pregnancy wasn’t traumatic. I had the usual symptoms. The birth was long but normal. The baby is good though she’s not perfect. No one is. You of all people should know this,” she snapped.

He blinked, rearing back and she immediately felt contrite. “I’m genuinely curious, Tessa. That’s all.”

“I’m sorry.” She grabbed the glass of water near her plate and gulped it down, the ice cold liquid a shock as it slid down her throat. “I can’t do this. I don’t know how to act around you.”

She pushed away from the tiny table and stood, turning toward the bedroom that was hers for the night. First thing in the morning she would leave and take Charlotte back to her flat. She had to work, though at least the store didn’t open till eleven. After work she would call Alex and discuss with him some sort of visitation schedule for Charlotte.

It wouldn’t work, pretending they could have some sort of false relationship for the good of the child. Despite everything, she still loved him too much. It would be too hard to pretend she didn’t care. Too difficult to carry on with her life acting like everything was fine while she stood by Alex’s side, knowing he didn’t care, he didn’t love her.

When he made the offer to bring her and Charlotte back to New York, he never once mentioned marriage. Which meant he didn’t want to marry her.

And probably never would.

Tears streaking down her face, she rushed toward the bedroom, saw the bassinet rustling with movement. She went to it and peeked down at Charlotte who greeted her with a kick and a faint but gummy smile. “Hello, sweetheart.” Picking her up, she held her above her head, trying her hardest to smile when all she wanted to do was break down and cry.

Alex was magically there by her side, one large hand resting on her shoulder. His touch felt so good, she wanted nothing more but to turn into him and beg him to hold her.

Forever.

“Let me take her.”

“You’ve never held her.”

“I know.” His voice was low and full of regret. “Let me take her for you, Tessa. Let me ease your burden.”

“She’s not a burden.” She clutched Charlotte close and the baby squirmed to be free. “Never.”

“Then let me share your burden. Our burden.” She glanced up to find him watching her, his eyes full of fire. “Please. I’d like the chance—the privilege to hold my daughter.”

Tessa couldn’t resist. She handed the baby over and he held her awkwardly, his big hand wrapped around the back of Charlotte’s head, the length of her body supported by his forearm. He held her like a football and gazed into her face, a faint smile curving his lips.

“Hello, princess,” he murmured, his voice light, unlike anything she’d ever heard before. “Did you have a good nap?”

Charlotte stared up at him, seemingly mesmerized by the sound of Alex’s voice, the sight of his face. Not that Tessa couldn’t relate, they were both complete goners for the man.

She couldn’t deny it any longer, no matter how much she tried.

“You’re so pretty. Just like your mother.”

Tessa wiped the tears from her face, rubbed them out of her eyes with a discreet sniff. It was lovely, watching this big, capable man looking as if he’d fall down to his knees for her baby. His baby.

Their baby.

Charlotte cooed and shot out an arm, her little fist curled tight. Alex settled on the edge of the bed and bent down so his lips brushed her flexing hand. “She’s gorgeous, Tessa,” he whispered.

Her heart broke. Literally cracked open so that all the messy emotion she’d been holding in spilled out all over the place. She collapsed on the bed, closer to the abundance of pillows and buried her face into them sobbing.

“Hey, hey.” He came to her, rested his hand on her back briefly before he started to rub it. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t pretend. I can’t go back to New York and act like everything’s fine between us.”

“It’s not?”

Men could be so dense. “Of course, it’s not.” She kept her face pressed against the pillows, her tears saturating the fabric. “You want to go on living your life and doing what you do while I sit in your giant penthouse apartment with our baby and act like we’re something that we’re not. I won’t do it, Alex. I’ll allow you visitation, it’s your right of course, but I’m staying here in London. I can’t do this to myself or to the baby.”

“What do you think I want from you?” he asked incredulously.

She lifted her head and turned on him, anger flowing freely through her veins, vibrating just beneath her skin. “You want everything. You want me to be some sort of—kept woman taking care of your baby while you go on with your life. Well, that doesn’t’ sound like much of a life for me.”

“Tessa.” He gripped her shoulder with one hand, his other arm now holding Charlotte tucked against his side. She looked perfectly content snuggled next to her daddy. “You misunderstood. I never said that. I want you to come back to New York as my
wife.
We’ll be married as soon as we get back. We’ll add my name to Charlotte’s birth certificate. We’ll make it all legal.”

“Legal? Is that all you think this is? Some sort of formal proposal we make legitimate for the sake of appearances?”

“No.” He shook his head, frustration written all over his handsome face. “I want to make it legal because I want to declare to the world that you’re my wife and Charlotte is my daughter. I want everyone to know just how much the two of you mean to me.” Pausing, he looked down at Charlotte for a brief moment before he returned his gaze to Tessa. “I want everyone to know how much I need the both of you in my life. How much I love you.”

Chapter Nineteen

Tessa’s entire body froze with shock at his words.

I want everyone to know how much I need the both of you in my life. How much I love you.

“You don’t mean it,” she finally blurted when she couldn’t think of anything else better to say.

Standing, he went to the bassinet, setting Charlotte back inside. “I’ll be back in a moment, princess. I need to talk to your stubborn mother first.”

Tessa waited as he approached where she sat. He knelt before her on both knees and took hold of her hands, bringing them to his mouth where he pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. “I’m begging for your forgiveness, Tessa. What I did, what I said to you that night, it was wrong. I should’ve listened to you. But I was so hurt, so angry, I couldn’t think straight, let alone listen to reason.”

Her hands trembled in his grip and he squeezed them tighter, a faint smile curving his lips. “Once you were gone, I felt like a piece of me was missing. Not because I missed your organizational skills and how you kept me on task.” His smile grew and she offered a shaky one in return. “I realized how much I needed you. I’d had feelings for you long before the trip to Europe, Tessa.”

“You did?” she squeaked. She couldn’t believe it.

“I orchestrated the excuse that I needed you to come with me.” He kissed her knuckles again, his lips lingering this time, wicked shivers cascading all over her skin. “I knew it was wrong, taking it further with an employee but I couldn’t help it. I was half in love with you by the time the plane landed in Italy.”

“That’s because you saw me in my bra,” she murmured, her cheeks burning at the embarrassing memory.

His eyes smoldered as they studied her face. “That was a bonus.”

Charlotte started to kick and fuss in her bassinet. Tessa started to get up but Alex held onto her hands, keeping her in place. “She can wait for a few minutes. I need to tell you that I love you first.”

“Oh, Alex.” Tessa shook her head, the tears spilling freely again. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been surer of anything my entire life.” He leaned in close so their foreheads were pressed together. “I love you. It’s not because of Charlotte either. She just makes me love you more.”

Unable to take anymore she threw herself at him, circling her arms around his neck. Her every dream was coming true. Only hours before she was ready to run because Alex had discovered her and now he’d confessed the one thing she’d wanted to hear from him more than anything else in the world.

He loved her. He wanted her to be his wife.

Alex wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her away from him so their gazes met. “I need to hear how you feel, Tessa. I need to hear you say the words.”

She smiled though her lips trembled. “I love you, Alex. I’ve loved you for what felt like forever. That’s why it hurt so much, your rejection of me. I wanted to curl up into a ball and die that night.”

He smoothed the still damp hair away from her face, his fingers drifting down her temple, across her cheek. “I’ll spend a lifetime trying to earn your forgiveness, working my hardest to drive that memory out of your thoughts forever.”

“We’ll create new memories.” He dragged his thumb across her lower lip and she sucked in a harsh breath. “The three of us together.”

“The three of us.” The baby still fussed and they both turned at the same moment to watch the little bassinet rock back and forth. “She’s hungry?”

“Yes, she’s always hungry.” Tessa smiled and shook her head. “She’s too big for that thing. That’s why it’s rocking, you know.”

“She’s strong like her mama.” He kissed her cheek, shifted so his lips hovered above hers for a tantalizing moment before he finally claimed her mouth for his own.

She moaned softly, resting her hands on his chest, her fingers curling into the fine fabric of his shirt. She wanted him naked. She wanted to feel him skin on skin, his mouth and hands bringing her absolute pleasure.

The baby wailed and they broke apart from each other, the smile on Alex’s face irresistible. She’d never seem him look so happy before. “I should feed her.”

“I’ll bring her to you.”

“Alex.” She rested her hand on his cheek and he stilled, his serious gaze meeting hers. “I love you.”

His eyes warmed to a mellow blue and he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. “I love you too.”

He’d never felt more content.

Watching with fascination the woman he loved breastfeed their baby. After stripping down to his boxer briefs and climbing into the bed, he’d made Tessa take off her sweater and pants as well, surprised to see she hadn’t worn a bra beneath. A rare and unusual occurrence, she’d warned him. Breastfeeding meant industrial-style bras to support her abundant chest.

Alex didn’t mind. Now that he had her back in his life, none of the little stuff mattered. She loved him. She agreed to be his wife.

He was a lucky son of a bitch.

Charlotte was a greedy little eater, sucking noisily at her mother’s breast. He sat next to Tessa in the bed, his arm circled around her shoulders, his other hand resting on top of his daughter’s head, stroking her downy soft hair. He stroked her pudgy cheek and she broke away from Tessa’s nipple, gazing up at him with he swore a flare of irritation in her smoky blue eyes.

“You’ve interrupted her,” Tessa chastised, amusement lacing her voice. “She doesn’t like to be disturbed while she’s eating.”

“Maybe I’m jealous,” he murmured after Charlotte found her mother’s nipple and started to nurse again. “I haven’t had you all to myself in far too long.”

Craning her head, Tessa kissed him. “She’s almost finished. This is normally her time to sleep for at least four to five hours straight.”

“Mmm, sounds promising.”

Finally, his daughter fell asleep at her mother’s breast, her rosebud lips parted and he swore she snored. Tessa gathered her into her arms and settled her carefully in the bassinet before heading back to the bed. Beautiful and uninhibited in her womanly body, clad only in simple black panties, he pulled her close the moment she climbed under the covers with him.

Her warmth, her vitality seeped into him, rejuvenating him, making him feel complete. They kissed, he wound his tongue around hers as he skimmed his hand all over her soft skin, his fingers sliding beneath her panties to grip her plump ass. She squirmed against him, brushing her sex against his straining cock and he knew he wasn’t capable of a long, drawn out lovemaking session.

It was going to be quick, dirty and satisfying.

Flipping her onto her back, he kissed his way down her lush body, lingering on her breasts, down her stomach, easing his fingers into her tight, hot wetness. She writhed beneath him, arching her body into his hand, her head thrown back, already lost in her ecstasy as he brought her to climax.

It was easy, so easy between them. And beautiful—achingly beautiful. She touched him everywhere and he thought his skin might catch on fire, he was so hot. She gripped his cock with sure fingers, stroking him, driving him higher and higher until finally he withdrew and grabbed the single condom he’d found in his travel bag earlier.

“I’m going too fast but I won’t last much longer,” he muttered as he slipped the condom on and then positioned himself so he was poised at her entry. “I need you too much.”

She smiled, the look of hazy satisfaction still in her eyes, all over her face. “We have the rest of our lives together, Alex.”

With a groan he pushed inside her and stilled, savoring the wet velvety hot grip of her. She felt amazing. Being inside her was like…being home.

So incredibly corny but true, he couldn’t deny it. Didn’t want to deny it.

He was too much in love with her to worry about thinking like a sap.