Wounded Courage (Lucky Thirteen) (10 page)

Murphy

The chow hall wasn’t much bigger than a twenty foot room, but we really didn’t need a lot of room here. There were only six to eight of us here at any given time anyway. But right then, it felt like it was a six foot box I’d been crammed into, forced into the same space as Addison. My master plan of avoiding her wasn’t really working anymore. She was everywhere. Not that the complex was that big. We were bound to run into each other.

Dylan bumped my arm with his elbow. “Check it. The prodigal sister. Man, she’s hot… the things I want to do to her.”

I rolled my eyes, trying not to let his words eat away at the restraint I had. “Urban, you need some serious professional help.” The guy was a nineteen-year-old sex addict. And it boiled my insides knowing that he got to see Addison, be near her, see her. I just knew that my self-control was practically non-existent where she was concerned.

“Dude, I’ve been out here for months. The Aruguay girls are all about their virginity and marriage and shit. I’m dying here.”

“You’re an ass.” I sighed heavily, watching Chris and Addison walk over to an empty table, her still favoring her leg. She sat, but Chris went off to grab her a plate. She folded her fingers together in front of her. She was facing away from me, and I was glad of it, in all honesty. I didn’t think I could take her gaze on me today.

“Hey, don’t hate. The ladies like me.”

I turned my head so I could see Urban. Was he really saying those words? “You might think that your little way of flirting with every female under the sun is a good thing, and that you’re awesome, but let me tell you this. That girl there, she’s off-limits to you. You don’t look at her, you don’t touch her, you don’t flirt with her.”

Dylan frowned. “What? Murphy, I didn’t—”

“What happened with you and Cadence Long, that’s not happening with Addison. That’s Chris’s sister and she’s been through a lot.”

“Cadence was different. That situation was completely different than this.”

“Addison is off-limits. You’re going to respect that boundary or we’re going to have problems.”

“I was just joking around about Hardy’s sister, yo.” Dylan frowned.

“Good. Let’s keep it that way, okay? Addison is off-limits.” Fuck. I was getting so bent out of shape. What was she doing to me?

“I got it, man. Shit.” Dylan’s lip curled up in half-anger. “What’s with you? You never cared this much about any women we rescued before…” His eyes widened. “You like her.”

I cursed inwardly. Was I that transparent?

“I’m just getting you to be more professional. Your behavior lately has been veering into jackass territory.”

“Fuck that noise. Don’t try to snow me. You like Addison.” Was he speaking louder? I wondered if I knocked his ass out if he’d hate me afterward.

“Look, you fucktard. Shut the hell up. You say that shit out loud and some dumbass is actually going to believe you.”

“You’re telling me it’s not true?”

“Yes. I’m telling you it’s not true.”
Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Dylan laughed and ate the last of his food. He stood up. “Whatever makes you sleep better at night. But if I see it, then Hardy’s going to eventually see it. And then he’ll kill you for defiling his baby sister.”

“They’re twins, and I’m not defiling her.” Now, the fact that I wanted to, so badly, was irrelevant and not conducive to the conversation. I just kept that little tidbit to myself.

Dylan laughed again, but didn’t respond otherwise. He just lifted his plate and took it to the trash. The smirk he sported was enough to make me want to smack the shit out of him.

I thought I’d been pretty good about keeping what happened between Addy and me under wraps. Kissing her was probably the worst thing I’d ever done, because I couldn’t get enough of her. Her taste intoxicated me, drugged me to the edge of desire where common sense evaporated.

Even sitting there, watching the back of her head and seeing the curve of her hips as she ate, spelled torture. She was not just my teammate’s sister. She was the key to unraveling the Giroux family and finally bringing them down. The thing was… I wasn’t sure she knew it yet.

Just then she turned, and looked straight at me. I glanced for Chris, but he was busy talking to Bonham. She smiled, saucy and evil. I didn’t know what that meant, or why she did it, but she turned back around, facing her back to me.

Oh, I was in trouble. This girl would be the death of me before too long.

~*~*~

Addison

Murphy’s eyes on me were like twin lasers, burning holes into my shoulders. But I wasn’t going to look at him. I wasn’t going to give hint hat satisfaction. I had turned a moment ago, bravado taking over for the moment to smile and show him that he wasn’t bothering me, when in fact, I was dying to touch him, feel him. A kiss wasn’t enough, not when I wanted to devour him.

Chris set down two plastic trays of food. Chicken and rice, with green beans and corn. Apparently, three years was enough time to forget that I hated green beans. I straightened my back as Chris sat down across from me and started eating.

“Chris?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you spoken to Mom and Dad?” I didn’t know why I was bringing up our parents. I hadn’t spoken to them in months. There simply wasn’t enough time when I was running all over the globe trying to save Alex’s life from his family. But being here with Chris, I realized that I’d isolated myself, for a man I didn’t know as well as I knew my family.

“About you?”

“At all?”

“Sure. I mean,” he paused, tapping his fork on the tray as he considered his words. “I have to be careful about what I tell them, and they’ve had to be careful about what they tell other people. I can’t tell them everything.” He cleared his throat. “They miss you.”

“They don’t miss me.” I let out a shuddering breath. “I’m sure they’re glad I’m out of their hair now.”

“You don’t believe that,” he said, almost in a questioning manner.

“It’s okay, Chris. I know I’m a screw up.”

“Mom and Dad don’t think you’re a screw up.”

“You do,” I blurted before I realized it.

The frown on his face deepened. He set down the fork in his hand. “Is that what you think?”

I shrugged, unable to voice an answer.

“Addy, Mom and Dad are worried about you because you haven’t even talked to them in months. And… they found out you withdrew from school, so naturally, they’re a little anxious about you.”

“I couldn’t face them, you know,” I finally said. “They’ve always… I mean you…” What was it that I wanted to say? How did I explain this?

“What about me?”

“Nothing,” I replied. “It wasn’t safe to call them, so I didn’t.”
Lies.
But I couldn’t help myself anymore. Lies begot lies, and they were just rolling off my tongue now. I hadn’t called because secretly, I didn’t want to disappoint them again. I was already not my parents’ favorite child, and this would just make it worse.

“It’s safe now,” Chris said.

I blinked and met my brother’s gaze. Was he saying that I could call them now? What would I say, though? How could I talk to them knowing that I’d done everything wrong? I shook my head and stabbed my fork into the chicken. “No.”

“Come on, Addison, they’d love to hear from you.”

“No.”

“It’s only going to get worse if you don’t talk to them.”

“I’m not calling them.”

He sighed. “Why?”

Because I was a big fat failure. Why else?

“Trust me on this, Addison. The longer you go without talking to them, the harder it will get to pick up the phone again.”

I swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that dared to spring forward. “Know that from experience, do you?” It was a cheap shot, but it took two people to get out of contact. Mom and Dad tried, but Chris? I hadn’t heard jack from him in years.

“Yes,” he whispered. “We used to be really close, Addison. We dropped the ball.”

“We’re different people, Chris. We’ve both changed.”

“You know I will do all that I can for you. I’ll keep you safe.” 

Keep me safe
. That’s what Murphy had promised me too. Protection. But so far, all I felt was hurt. I didn’t reply to him, because I didn’t have anything to say. Between Chris and Murphy and my parents and Alex’s death, my whole life was in tatters. The longer I stayed, the more confused and tired I became.

Addison

One Day Later…

It was time. I’d been patient about not being able to leave, but I needed to get out. Pretty soon, Giroux’s enemies would get tired of waiting for me to surface, and they’d come after me here. That they hadn’t yet was a monument to their patience.

I leaned closer toward the mirror. My lips’ swelling had all but vanished. Only a small cut remained. My cheek had gone down significantly too. I still had the scratch from where that jerk’s ring had hit me. My leg wasn’t hurting as much these days, but it was getting all kinds of rest. I mean, I hadn’t done anything strenuous beyond physical therapy with Gabe, unless one counted walking to the chow hall as strenuous.

I wished I had makeup here. I could have applied some to hide the bruising. We’d reached the ugly brownish-yellow stage, and it wasn’t pretty. But when they’d brought my clothes here, they hadn’t grabbed any of my makeup. I supposed they hadn’t thought of it. They were boys, after all.

I hadn’t seen the sun in days. The team came and went as they pleased, and I was stuck there. If my brother was hard to deal with, Murphy was impossible. He did whatever he could to avoid me. It didn’t really surprise me, honestly. He’d never been interested in having me around before, but I missed him.

I stepped back from the mirror and sat on the bed. The palpable hate these men had for Alex… or for any Giroux really… I’d always thought of him as a good man. What we’d been trying to accomplish was a good thing. It was important. It would have meant a new life. It would have meant that I had finally done something amazing. But instead… I was alone.

It had been weeks since Alex’s death. Simon Giroux would know what Alex had done by now. He’d be looking for me. There was no government facility he couldn’t breach, but Simon was a patient man. He’d wait for me to come to him. But his enemies? That was a different story.

Chris stuck his head inside the ajar door, rapping his knuckles against the door frame. “Hey.”

“Come in. Just need a minute.”

“You okay?” He asked, coming in into the room. His brow pinched together, concern emanating from him. This made it so hard to be angry at him and his team for keeping me here. He was genuinely concerned for me. He thought he was doing the right thing by me. I couldn’t fault that.

“I’m okay.”

“Liar.”

Nothing like being called out by your brother. 

“Okay… No, I’m not okay, Chris. Is that what you want to hear?” Irritation bled into my voice.

I think, in some ways, having my brother—who still knew me way too well—made it worse for me. I was having to lie not only to my family, but to the military. But there was nothing that the military could do for me. I’d already made my bed. Everything was in motion now.

“Of course not, Addy. This is a tough situation.”

“Not for you,” I told him, watching him flinch. He covered it well. “If you wanted to, you could walk out that door to the sunshine, and keep on going. If I did that, I’d be tackled by Special Forces within ten feet.”

“This isn’t forever.”

“You keep saying that, but I don’t see it ending any time soon. I have intimate knowledge of your operation now. I know all about you guys. I know names. I know faces. You can’t afford to have me out there.” The silent way Chris’s lips pursed together confirmed what I’d already known. “It’s true, isn’t it. Collins never meant for me to leave here. Or if he did, it would be to deliver me to some deep, dark prison for the rest of my life.”

“You don’t know that. He’s just being cautious. Our entire mission is at risk right now.”

I’d been going about this all wrong. It wasn’t that I needed to leave this place. Well, I did, but it was more than that. Alex was gone. He’d fed vital Giroux info to their enemies to weaken their hold on him. But what if I could do the same thing? I was in a unique position, one that they couldn’t refuse if they knew about it. Maybe I could earn my own freedom, or at least, get real protection from them, instead of them protecting other people from me.