Wounded Courage (Lucky Thirteen) (12 page)

“You’re right, Chris. I haven’t been. But that’s me, isn’t it? Always the fuck-up. Always the odd one out. Always the leftover.” The words cut deep into my soul. They bled from my body without control or hope of stopping.

“Okay!” Murphy yelled. “Look, you two need to cool off, okay. Let’s take a breather.”

“Best fucking idea you ever had,” Chris said, whirling away from us. He stalked to the door and slammed it shut. The metal reverberated through the room. No one usually shut the common room door, so the remaining silence was louder than it would have been without the outside noises from the facility.

Fresh anger twisted in my chest, swirling into the sudden fear that I’d screwed up everything, yet again. But I couldn’t let go of the anger Chris had fostered. He’d single-handedly managed to pull forth old hangups, refine them to a sharp point, and slam them deep into my chest.

Old wounds festered anew, the pain throbbing deep in my heart. Narrowing my eyes at Murphy, who remained behind, I forced the words from my mouth, ignoring the lump of misery that grew inside my throat. “And what about you? Am I evil incarnate for you too?” He didn’t say anything for a long time. He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. I wasn’t about to be dressed down by his silence. “Guess so. Glad to know where I stand.”

I turned away, to go back to my room, my throat tight when I felt his lips on the crook of my neck, light and warm. I gasped and leaned back against him, letting his arms come around me. I didn’t know how much I’d needed his touch. His warmth enveloped me like a blanket. Eamon’s hands splayed across my stomach, holding me back against his hard chest. I let out a sigh and laid my head back against his shoulder. He held me like that, not moving, for several long minutes. I closed my eyes as his mouth touched my shoulder.

“I would kill Alex for dragging you into this mess if he were still alive,” he whispered against my skin. “I don’t think that you’re evil incarnate. I think you got pulled in over your head. You’re drowning, and you’re trying to grab anything that will keep you afloat.”

“I’m not as good as you think I am.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Well, you’re a little tarnished, but that’s nothing a good spit shine won’t fix.”

“What?” Did he just say he was going to spit on me?

He laughed. “Gotcha.”

I rolled my eyes and breathed in the warm scent of him. “It’s just… I can’t believe he thinks of me that way. I thought… I mean, I know that I’ve always been a fuck-up, but… I guess, I just thought my twin brother could see past that. See that I’m not that person.”

“Shh… He’s just frustrated and angry, Addison. He’s not seeing things right at the moment.” His arms tightened around my waist. He kissed his way from my shoulder to my neck. His hot breath tickled my skin. “All we want is to protect you, Addison. To keep you safe. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

I laughed wryly. “Was that before or after you pushed my head into the mud?”

His arms tightened around me. “You kicked me in the nuts.”

“You stole my dolls.”

“I needed them for my rocket experiment.”

“Hence the nut-kicking.”

His low chuckle rumbled against my back. “Touché. Addison… I’m sorry if I made you feel bad as a kid. I never intended for it to go that way. You were very important to me. You always have been. You and Chris both really, especially after my parents split. I wasn’t very good at telling you that.”

Murphy never really talked about his parents. They’d physically abandoned him when he was seventeen, though really, they’d been emotionally gone a whole lot longer than that. My parents had been more parents than his had been anyway. I didn’t say anything, because it was rare to get him to talk, and I wanted to not spook him by word vomiting on him.

“I feel it, you know. I get Alex’s fascination with you. I hate that he got all time with you, when I was stupid and could have had you long ago… and I hate this feeling inside, like a knot deep in my gut, because I feel like I’m losing control.”

I turned my head and nuzzled his warm neck.

“It’s crazy, you know. I feel crazy, because I’ve never felt this way about anyone. But here you are.” His lips grazed my ear, sending shivers through my body. He trailed kisses down my neck, inciting a fire deep inside my body, so hot I swore I was engulfed in flames.

I rested my hand on top of his, gently caressing the rough skin. He had hands of a working stiff, hands of someone who had seen a lot of combat. There was a long scar from his wrist up his thumb. It was an old scar, shiny where the rest of his skin was dull.

I lifted his hand up to my mouth and kissed it, following the trail of the scar from his thumb to his wrist. When I reached his wrist, I turned in his arms, so his hands now rested at my hips. Slowly, I ran my fingers up his chest, the hard canvas of muscle firm beneath my palm. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. Instead, I rested my hands at his shoulders, and gazed up into his eyes. He always pinned me with his gaze, but now instead of ice, I saw heat, smoldering desire in his eyes. And it was for me. That thought thrilled me.

“Would you kiss me?” I whispered. I needed to show him, if only for a second, that he drove me crazy too. “If I were to just lean my head a little this way…” I tilted my head to the side a little to demonstrate, my eyes on his lips. Such perfect, gorgeous lips. I wanted a taste.

“I’m supposed to guard you. Not kiss you.” The heat of his melting resolve spurred me on. “We shouldn’t.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” I whispered. He still looked hesitant, so I took his hand and pulled him with me, toward my room. Once we were inside, I pushed the door shut. “There. Now no one can see us, and no one will know you didn’t just guard me.”

“Temptress.”

“I told you I wasn’t all good.”

He chuckled, stalking his way toward me. My heart beat skipped and raced, making breathing hard. He tangled his fingers in the hair at the base of my head, and pulled me to him, possessing my lips with no apology.

Finally, I got my taste, the one I had been craving. His cologne surrounded me. His lips were salty and his mouth tasted of French fries from the chow hall. His arms tightened around me, a low growl in his throat.

His kiss was glorious, powerful. He took what I offered and demanded more. His tongue swiped along my lips, demanding entrance, and I obeyed, unable to deny him that entrance, unwilling to deny him either. My lips parted for him, and I slid my tongue along his.

Before this, I’d experienced lots of kisses. A lot of drunken make out sessions with boys at parties. A few bedroom antics that went no further than some heavy petting. Alex had been my second lover, the first being Greg McPherson when I was seventeen, in the back of his pickup truck.

But this kiss...

It blew all the other kisses out of the water.

Addison

There’s something about an amazing kiss that makes you forget all common sense. That’s where I was. The feel of his warmth on mine, his hard body pressing against me as we stood, interlocked together. My body melted against his, wanting to touch him from head to toe without a millimeter between us. I curled my leg around his, wanting closer, skin to skin.

He growled low again, and grabbed my ass, squeezing the soft flesh as he raised me up into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his hips, hooking them together at his ass. Murphy grinned, and it sent a thrill through my body, because it was quite possibly the most dangerous expression and the sexiest I’d ever seen.

He carried me over to the bed, the two of us falling to the mattress together, tangled limbs holding us pressed together. His large hands slid upward, along my hip to my ribs, to the underside of my breast. HIs thumb caressed my bra line, and then his hand covered my breast, gently squeezing the globed flesh in his hand. My back arched into him, wanting his hands everywhere he could put them.

“Touch me,” I gasped.

His low chuckle vibrated against my neck where his lips assaulted my skin. “Don’t be such an eager beaver.” His hand left my breast, and I nearly whined, but it slid under the t-shirt I wore instead.

“Did you really just say ‘eager beaver’ to me?” 

He laughed. “Maybe.” He hung his head in a mock apology. “Sorry.”

I shuddered with excitement as his palm smoothed over my bare skin, his arm pushing up the shirt. I forgot whatever I was going to say to him after that.

“Yes…” I moaned. I wanted that touch all over me.

“I want to do things to you… I want to make you scream my name.”

“Do it,” I demanded of him. I needed that. We had so much time wasted in our lives, pretending that we didn’t care for each other, arguing as kids, avoiding each other as adults.

“I can’t.” But even as he said it, his lips pressed against my rib cage, following the same trail his hand had. He kissed my covered breast, working around in a circle. I didn’t want any barriers between us. I lifted up and tossed my shirt away.

He pulled my bra cup down, exposing it to the cooler air, but my skin was feverish, even more so when his mouth closed over my nipple. I moaned, and rested my hand on his head. He didn’t have near enough hair for me to tangle my fingers in. It was a shame, but I was okay with it, for the way he was making me feel.

“Please.”

He glanced up at me, the devilish glint in his eye. “You can’t scream, and I want you to.”

“I’ll be quiet,” I promised. I wasn’t actually sure if I could. I’d never been really noisy during sex, but neither of my previous lovers had make me feel like this with just a touch.

He chuckled. “We’ll see.”

He kissed his way down my abdomen, while his hands deftly took care of my zipper. His fingers hooked on the waistline of my undone jeans, and pulled them and my underwear down my legs. I was a little shy about letting him see my body like this, when he was still fully dressed. I started to curl up, but he grabbed my legs, and all but pried them apart. “No. I need you open.”

I blinked, but in the next second, I nearly passed out. A mischievous grin appeared on his face and then his head went between my legs. I gasped and surged upward. His hands pressed me back down as his tongue swept inside me. A melted moan escaped, ripping from my throat. I grabbed my pillow and bit down on the fabric, muffling the escaping moans.

He kept me anchored in place, his hands on my thighs as his tongue speared me, sweeping in and out of my body. He sucked, nibbled and licked me until I trembled with unreleased fire, until I finally exploded, the climax sweeping through me.

~*~*~

My entire body felt like jelly, but I was still amped up. Breathing heavily, I glanced down at Murphy, who was crawling back up my body at the moment. His fingers massaged between my legs, stroking and spreading the wetness down there. I moaned as he worked me back up. He grinned.

“You’re enjoying this torture.”

“Consider it your interrogation.”

“Torment me some more,” I said, arching up, trying to feel him deeper. But it wasn’t his fingers I wanted. I wanted his cock, buried deep inside me. “And do it naked.”

He chuckled. “You are eager.”

“It’s been a long time,” I told him.

“You and Alex…” He trailed off. “It’s none of my business.”

“Yes, it is,” I said. “You’re about to sleep with me. You have a right to know.”

“Your past is your past. I don’t care what you did with Alex.” Liar. I could see it in his face. He hated that I’d been with Alex, and he blamed himself for it.

“But…”

“Don’t.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to know about you and any other guy. You’re here with me right now, and why, I’ll never understand, but I’m going to be grateful for it.”

“Because you rescued me, silly. Because you trusted me. Because you gave me courage.” He rested on his elbows over me, the length of him covering me. He stared into my eyes, deep and all consuming, as if he were searching for something. I needed to lighten the mood, and make him forget that Alex ever existed. “You still have clothes on. This is a problem, Murph.”

He grinned but didn’t move immediately. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

I nodded. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”

He took my answer at face value and stood up, quickly shucking off his clothes before he rested his body over mine again. His cock, which seemed incredibly impressive resting between us, hard and long, nudged at the folds of my sex.

“We should have protection. I didn’t think—”

“I’m on the shot and you’re a SEAL. It’s fine.” I wrapped my legs around his waist impatiently.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered against my mouth, his fingers stroking where I wanted his cock to be. Each swipe of his finger sent degrees of heat through me.

“Fuck, Murphy, you’re driving me crazy.”

 Two fingers dipped inside. “You’re tight. And wet.”

“For you,” I whispered back. “Please.”

My body ached for him to fill me, so when he did, it was like instant relief. Slowly, he slid inside, the thick crown entering me. Letting out a shuddering breath, he let gravity do the work, sliding slowly into my pussy so deep I thought I was going to burst.