Wreckers or Checkers: In It to Win It (8 page)

C
- *
Can I come see you?
*

J
- *
You’d just be bored here.
*

C
- *
I miss you so much though, I just want to be with yo
u
*

J
- *
When I get some time I’ll call you.
*

C
- *
Why can’t you talk now?
*

J
- *
Busy!
*

C
- *
Have I done something to make you mad?
*

J
- *
LOL, I don’t have time to go there right now, gotta go TTYL!
*

I read and reread his last message and the entire conversation.  Not one
time did he say he missed me or that he loves me.  I completely understood what he was going through, so I decided to just leave him alone until HE was ready to talk to me.  There was no doubt in my mind he was having Mitch keep an eye on me and probably even sending him daily updates about what I was up to.  I missed Jet so bad, the only thing that kept me from going to see him was the fact that I couldn’t miss any more school since I had taken time off for Boone.

Jet

****

When Chass and I finally made it back to the house, I was practically vibrating with need to feel her against me…to be inside of her.  Sex with Chassis was my stress reliever, the way her body was so responsive to my touches, the way she knew exactly what to do to send me over the edge with her as we orgasmed together. From the very first time I had sex with her we had never used a condom, so after we had showered and
got out. Things started to get hot and heavy between us she told me I needed to wear one, I was instantly pissed.  My first thought was that she didn’t believe me that I didn’t have sex with Riley, then she told me it was because she hadn’t taken her birth control pills in a couple of days.  None the less, I didn’t have any condoms and she knew that so I had to hunt Lance down and get one from him.  I knew that it wasn’t going to be the same with one on, I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish with it on.  Chassis was worried I would get her pregnant, I was really starting to think the woman just didn’t trust me.  

I rolled the condom on, instantly hated it and wanted to rip
it right back off and plunge as deep into her as I could.  The normal things that would send me over the edge didn’t do anything for me, so once she had reached her orgasm, I rolled off of her and headed for the bathroom.  I needed to wash the god damn latex smell off, a couple of minutes after I had been in the shower Chassis stepped in.  Something just didn’t feel right between us, normally we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other and couldn’t get enough of each other.  I’m sure that the shit that happened in Boone was partially to blame and I wanted to sit down and have a talk with her.  I had it all planned out in my head that we would talk about what happened or didn’t happen between me and Riley, what Chass did with Carley, and the fact that all she ever does when we have a disagreement is run. 

I was caught off guard when she knelt down
in front of me and started making long slow strokes on my cock.  She looked up at me as she slowly licked around the tip, my eyes rolled back when I felt her hot mouth sliding around my cock until the tip was at the back of her throat.  I opened my eyes and watched her, she watched me while she sucked and stroked on me.  I gripped the back of her head as she continued to bob her head and twist her hand with each thrust back and forth.  My balls grew tight, so I grabbed my cock pulled it out of her mouth and with two hard pumps of my hand I shot my cum on her face.  She looked at me with a confused look since normally she swallowed, this time I didn’t let her.  I wiped my cum off her face, “I’d sure hate for you to not like the taste.” I said to her then stepped out of the shower. That pissed her off, we started fighting about sex, condoms, trust, and everything in between.  My phone rang as we were screaming at each other, I noticed it was mom but knew that trying to talk to her right now I would end up saying something to make her mad too.  She hated when I told her about what happened in Boone, “You two are so good for each other Jet, I love you to death but sometimes you’re so damn bull headed!  I love you baby just talk to her, then you need to bring her for a visit.” She had told me. 

Once we were laying in bed, Chassis asked why things keep getting harder betw
een us.  The only thing I could tell her was we needed to communicate better and she needed to quit running from me when we had a disagreement.  We dozed off at some point, later mid-afternoon we woke up and decided to have some friends over to watch the race replay and have some pizza delivered.  We were just finishing up eating when my cell phone rang with a number that I didn’t recognize;

“Hello?”

“Yes, (a guy cleared his throat), is this Jet Crow?”

“Uhh, yeah.”

“Sir, this is Chief of Police Officer Stark, (Jason’s cell phone rang so I stepped out of the room) are you the son of Karen Ramsey or Karen Crow?”

“Uhh, yes why?”

“Sir where are you located?”

“Ohio State University, what the fuck is going on?”

“Sir, your mom…Karen has been involved in a sh..accident.  We need you and any other siblings…”

“What the fuck do you mean and accident?” I yelled into the phone, grabbed my pickup keys and looked at Jason that was now turning ghost white and walking backwards towards the front door.

“Sir…We need you.”

I hung up and ran out the door right behind Jason, he sped off in his pickup while Jerod and I followed right behind him.  Mom lived and hour away, but with the speed that we were travelling it took us less than thirty minutes. 

Jason pulled into mom’s driveway and barely had his pickup stopped before he threw it in park. I pulled up in front of the house threw my pickup in park and took off running for the house.  A uniformed officer had Jason stopped and another one stepped in front of me and Jerod to keep us from getting inside. 

“Motherfucker this is our mom’s house you need to let us inside!  The phone call we got said she was in an accident but her car is right there!” Jason yelled in the young
officer’s face. 

“Sir, just give me a minute let me go talk to the detective.”

“Fuck you!  If our mom is in there you can’t stop us!” I yelled and pushed past the officers with Jason and Jerod right behind me.  I ran up the steps and through the doors that were propped open, “MOM?  Helloooo?” I yelled as I ran through the house.  I stopped in my tracks when I made it to the kitchen.  Jason and Jerod both stopped and about knocked me over when they ran into the back of me. 

“What in the fuck?” Jason said, looking at the two bodies that were covered in white sheets.  Another officer stepped in front of us as a female photographer took pictures of empty bullet casings that were on the floor, and blood splatter against the wall.

“Boys, come with me please.” The older officer told us and pushed us towards the living room.  “NOW!” He demanded with a louder firmer tone.  We turned and walked into the living room, “Have a seat.” He told us a pointed at the couch.

“What in the FUCK is going on?” Jason asked trying not to yell. 

The officer introduced himself as Detective Mason, “Boys, (he blew out a breath and sat on the coffee table in front of us), do you know this man?” he asked and handed a picture to Jason for us to both look at. 

“That’s our dad, Nathan…”

“Right, well, do you know if he has been in contact with Karen recently?”

Jason and I both shook our heads and Jason told him that Nathan had asked about her a while back after he found out she had gotten remarried.
The detective nodded his head, “Well, obviously he had a problem with her…In case you didn’t notice there are the two bodies in there.  One is Nathan the other is Karen.” He said.

I shook my head, “WHAT?” I yelled with my eyebrows drawn together and anger starting to boil through my system. 

The detective ran a hand through his hair, “I’ll need one or both of you to identify them both if you’re up to that.  If not it will need to be another family member.” He asked and looked at Jerod. 

Jerod stood from the couch, “I’ll go do it, this isn’t something they need to see.” He said and followed the detective into the kitchen.

Jason and I sat there on the couch speechless until Jerod walked back into the room.  His face was pale and his hands were shaking, he walked past us out the front door, onto the front porch, leaned over the railing and started throwing up.  After a couple of minutes he stopped turned to Jason and me with tears in his eyes, “The mother fucker shot her then blew his own brains out.” He said and sank down onto the porch with his back resting against the house.

“Wh..What?” Jason stuttered out as tears formed in his eyes.  Jerod sat there and shook his head, with his elbows resting on his bent knees he buried his hands in his hair.  His shoulders shook as tried to hide that he was breaking down.  I paced the porch until the detective came out to tell us that the bodies wouldn’t be removed until later.
The detective handed me moms cell phone, “She was holding this…I thought you might want to know who she called.” He told me. When I looked at the call log my knees started to buckle, the call I had ignored earlier when Chass and I were fighting was actually mom trying to call me.  The detective told us that the 911 call had come in about five minutes after she had placed the call to me.  A neighbor heard two gunshots and called 911.  I looked around then spotted what had to be Nathan’s pickup parked across the street.  I quickly made my way over to it, yanked the door up.  There was a picture of Jason and I when we were about seven  and nine years old, taped to the dash by the stereo.  The passenger side door was yanked up by Jason, he flipped the glove box open and sifted through receipts, vehicle registrations, and invoices.  I flipped the center console up and found two envelopes one had Jason’s name written on it and the other had my name.  I handed Jason his, he wasted no time tearing it open.

“Don’t you suppose we should tell the detective before we do too much?” I said as I stared at him staring at the paper in his hand. 

“We’ll tell him I’m reading this first, I’m sure he explains why the fuck he did it.”  He said.  I nodded my head as I tore my letter open.

Dear Je
t
:

Son, I’m sure that you and Jason are both reading these at the same time, and I’m even more sure you’ve figured out what has happened.  I loved her, she left me,
and she took what was most important from me, my boys.  I never stopped loving her, I was an asshole, and for that I’m sorry.  She did what she knew was safer for all of you, over the years I tried to move on and start my life over, but I couldn’t.  I know there is nothing I can say to you or your brother to apologize for the way I treated you, and definitely nothing I can say will ease the pain you both are feeling right now.  I loved her Jet, I lost her.  I watched her move on with her life and forget about me like I was nothing.  In her eyes I was nothing but in my eyes she was my everything.  I’ve kept track of you and your achievements with racing and I couldn’t be more proud of you. I’m sorry for all the times that I put you down and started fights with you.  About two years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I tried to take the meds the doctor gave
me but they only brought out more anger.  I drank A LOT and you both know that, the reason I drank when you boys were young was because I had been unfaithful to your mom one night. I never told her but I’m pretty sure she knew.  There is no excuse for the actions I used against her and the abuse I put all of you through, that has eaten away at me for many many years.  Then I murdered a man, I ruined his family, when I found out you loved that girl of his I couldn’t take it.  I hope you are nothing like me Jet, I know Jason isn’t, I hope that you can love and never hurt her.  I hope that you know when to walk away and know when to fight for her.  Never do what I did to your mom Jet, if I could take back everything I did wrong I would.  So you’re probably asking why I have done what I’ve done…I had been stalking your mom for quite some time, I think she knew I was following her around but I stayed deep enough in the shadows she didn’t see me.  I know you and Jason are mad as hell at me right now and asking why I’ve done what I’ve done.  I’m a sick man Jet, I’m an angry man, but even worse I’m a man in love with a woman that wants nothing to do with me because of the demons that I have deep inside of me, the same demons I’ve been fighting for years.  I can’t live like this anymore, and I can’t live without your mom anymore.  I have a bank account that should have roughly one hundred thousand dollars in it, my life insurance doesn’t cover suicide so I cashed it out and deposited it into the bank.  You and your brother can use it for my funeral services and your moms.  All I ask is that you still use the same plot that we purchased years back.  In case you are wondering why I came to you all those times for money, it wasn’t all for the alcohol to support that habit.  I found out from Riley that you and her had a child together that she gave up for adoption, at the same bank listed below is the saving account I set up for your son Chase.  I know you met him at Boone, I’m sure his parents are raising him great.  I wish I could have met him as well but I’m not the type of man anybody wants in their life.  I’m sorry Jet, I don’t deserve your forgiveness or Jason’s.  I really am sorry for…everything…

Sincerely,

Your dad.

Jason was finished reading his letter and leaning against the side of the pickup with the letter crumbled in his hand.  Tears streamed down his face as he looked at the wadded up paper.  I walked over to him and stood beside him, he shook his head and looked up at me.  “You know, if the mother fucker wasn’t already dead I’d be in that house unloading the clip into his head.  He was a sick mother fucker Jet.” He said.

“I can’t believe this shit, what did he write in the letter to you?”

Jason snorted, un
-crumbled the paper and handed it to me. 

Dear Jason,

I’m sorry, for everything. 

Sincerely,

Nathan

I handed Jason the letter that dad had written me, he read it and shook his head.  “That mother fucker is NOT being buried next to her, I have no problem throwing him in a god damn dumpster but I don’t think they’ll let us do that.”

“Hell no he’s not, we’ll let his brother’s figure out where to bury him, just as long as it’s far away from mom.  I’ll call them and you see if you can get in touch with Marvin.” I told him as we started back towards the house.  Jerod sat on the porch and read the letters that were left for Jason and me.  He was in complete shock and agreed that dad wouldn’t be near mom for their final resting place.