Wrestling Against Myself (59 page)

Tony looked the two over. He was disappointed, but had compassion for them as well. He remembered how they were tormented before he invited them into the fold. In an instant, he figured it out, and he knew why they had such a reluctance. “You two are gay, aren't you,” he said, trying his best not to make it sound like an accusation.

Dave and Ted kept quiet, fidgeting in their spot. It looked as if they considered fleeing, but couldn't tell if the other was going to take the same exit.

“Relax, I'm not going to call out the rest of the school to stone you or make an announcement of the PA system about it. Have I ever judged either of you, or have I always been your friend.”

“Our friend,” Ted said.

“It's not like we've done nothing at all,” Dave explained. “It's who we are, but we can't handle going through the stuff you or Courtney are.”

“I understand,” Tony said. “I'm not happy about it, but I see where you're coming from. I'm going to miss having you hanging around until Carl and the others come to their senses. I hope it's not too long though, I might start missing my daily Star Trek lessons.”

“Thanks Tiny,” Ted said.

“Yeah, thanks,” Dave continued. “I wish it didn't have to be this way, but the world isn't perfect.”

“I know. And don't worry, you're secret is safe with me.”

Dave and Ted each nodded and then made their way through to the other side of the building and out the other door, leaving Antonio alone.

“I guess I won't be the last to figure that one out, but I wonder if they know Peter already figured them out,” Tony said to himself. He checked his watch. Even though no one else was there, it was time to start. He decided to go into the classroom alone and pray by himself.

It was between third and fourth period as Tony was making his way through building C-2.  It seemed as if the rest of the school didn't care or adhere to the proclamation Carl put in effect to isolate him; it was only his fellow Christians who avoided dealings with him. Though it was unfortunate, he held out hope they would soon come around and figure out that the whole situation was silly.

“Hey Tiny, you faggot!” a voice yelled from across the hall, causing everyone to pause and look in that direction.

Tony stopped and turned around. He knew the voice was Peter's, but figured with such a proclamation, there was more to come.

As if sensing something big was going to happen, the sea of students parted, giving the two men access to each other.

“What do you want, Peter?” Tony said with an undercurrent of anger.

“I want to talk to you, you dirty queer.” Peter quickly closed the gap between the two. He bumped his chest into Tony, trying to cause the larger teen to stumble but wound up bouncing off.

Tony stood his ground, but remained quiet. He was hoping the situation wouldn't escalate, but was doubtful he would be able to prevent whatever was going to happen.

“Where do you get off going steady with that freak?” Peter asked as he poked Tony in the chest.

“I'd advise you not to do that.” Tony calmly grabbed the teen's wrist and kept it at bay.

“I don't care what you advise, you queer. Here you are, the great Tiny. The person everyone looks to so they know what the right thing is. And what happens, you turn out to be a fagot. Should have known you were some kind of queer, that's why you get off rolling around the ground with sweaty dudes.”

“Are you done,” Tony was doing his best to remain calm, he heard the insult about his sport many times, but could feel the blood coursing through his veins. “What Courtney and I do has nothing to do with you.”

“Listen to you. Trying to justify being a fagot.”

“I'm not justifying anything. It's none of your business who I date.”

“I'm making it my business.” Peter used two hands to push Tony, but only drove himself backwards.

“You don't want to do this,” Tony said.

“What, you think the cops are going to come and save your ass this time.”

“Let it go, Peter. Walk away.”

“Like hell I am.” Peter squared off and got into a boxing stance. “I ain't afraid of no queers.”

“You don't want to do this,” Tony said once more, trying to make the warning stick.

“This is what we do to fagots around here.” Peter threw a jab.

Tony bobbed to the left and the punch landed harmlessly on his shoulder. “You need to stop before you get hurt.”

“Fight back you queer,” Peter yelled in anger.

“Learn to let things rest.” Tony remained poised.

“Screw you fag.”

Tony stood his ground as his opponent danced in front of him, looking more comical than dangerous.

Peter thought he saw a weakness in Tony's defenses and with all his might threw a wild hay maker.

The punch was telegraphed and Tony could see it a mile away. He leaned back two inches and the wild hook passed by his chin without making any contact, leaving the whole right side of Peter's body exposed. Figuring his adversary was going to continue the insanity unless someone put an end to the situation, Tony decided to act. He drove his shoulder into the boy's ribs and tackled him to the ground. As he heard the air escape Peter's lung he quickly put the teen in a side headlock and subdued him. From his position, he could control how much or how little air his opponent received.

“Break it up you two,” an authoritative voice said from overhead. “I said break it up.”

Tony let go of his hold and made it to his feet. Peter remained on the ground a bit longer, trying to regain his breath and had to be helped up.

“Let's go, both of you,” Mr. Pritchard, a science teacher said as he grabbed each student by an arm. “You can explain yourselves to Mr. Fenton.”

Tony was led to the vice principals' offices and put in an office separate from his adversary. It had been a long time since he'd been in one of the offices while being in trouble, the last time was when he was a freshman and accused of talking back to one of his teachers who didn't understand the forceful way New Yorkers naturally talk.

Tony watched the clock as the minutes ticked away. He knew he wasn't going to make his fourth period class and was wondering if he would be attending any other class that day, or even the upcoming weeks. The school showed little leniency when it came to students getting into fights.

After fifteen minutes, Mr. Fenton made an appearance. “How are you doing, Tiny?” the vice principal said in a friendly enough manner.

“I've had better.”

“I hear you on that one.” Mr. Fenton took a seat behind the desk. “So Peter finally decided to take you on, not a smart move on his part.”

“I tried to tell him to stop, but he wasn't having any of that. All I did was protect myself.”

“I know,” Mr. Fenton reassured. “Lucky for you, Mr. Pritchard was watching the whole time or we would have a real dilemma on our hands. It's school policy not to take any students' word when it comes to physical altercations and if he wasn't there, I would be forced to suspend you both.”

“You're suspending Peter.”

“We decided to go with in school suspension for this offense.”

“That's good, I guess. He winds up missing so many days of school as it is, I doubt he could afford a suspension.”

“I want to thank you for not mopping the floor with him. From what Mr. Pritchard said, you just tied him up and made sure he couldn't hurt himself.”

Tony sighed. “I guess that's one way of putting it, but I wish we didn't have to get into these petty little fights. It's not like we're little kids or nothing.”

“No, you're not. Speaking of being an adult, is it true you've started a relationship with Miss Barnes?”

“With Courtney, yes.”

“Are you sure that's the smart thing to do? You see how people respond to these things.”

“It's not about what's in my head, it's about what's in my heart,” Tony said as he tapped his chest.

Mr. Fenton gave a strained grin. “We didn't see this one coming. All we expected was to keep her safe and keep some of the less desirables away.”

“You got your wish, except I'm more dedicated than you expected.”

“Keep yourself safe, Tiny,” Mr. Fenton said. “It's about time for lunch; you might as well head there early. I'll make sure you don't get marked down as absent for your last class.”

“Thanks,” Tony said and then stood up to leave. 

Tony didn't know if it was because of the altercation with Peter the day before or that people were tired of being mean, but since the incident in the hallway, things quieted down. There was an uneasy truce between the school and Courtney and more reverence towards him when it came to dealing with acquaintances, but his regular group of friends that he thought he could count on through thick and thin still wouldn't have anything to do with him. Antonio hoped that the wall that was being built was temporary, but as the days went by, he grew more uncertain that there was an easy fix.

“How could they just throw away four years of friendship over a silly disagreement,” Tony thought to himself as he walked towards his car. “You think they would trust my judgment.”

Tony didn't want to look disappointed when he settled into the bucket seat, but Courtney was developing an uncanny knack for reading him. Before he reached for the key he had left in the ignition all day, the girl took a hold of his hand.

“Are you okay?” Courtney was becoming more assertive with her feelings and how she went about things, something that intrigued Tony to know end.

Tony gave a strained grin. “It's Friday, the weeks over, we're free, whoopee,” he said weakly.

“Still upset about Carl and the others?”

“Not really upset.” Tony cranked up the car and revved the engine for a little while. “Just wondering when it will all end.”

“When I give back your pin,” Courtney said plainly.

“But I don't want you to do that.”

“Me either.”

“Than this has to end some other way. It's so unlike Carl to be this way.”

“I have that affect on people,” Courtney said glumly.

“Not at all.” Tony was finding out that sometimes Courtney's insecurities manifested itself as negative self talk and he was doing his best to help her break that habit. He knew how damaging such talk could be. “He's being a judgmental jerk and he, of all people, should know better.”

“He's looking out for you. You can't fault him for that.”

“I suppose I can't. But his concern is misplaced. A part of me can understand what his issues are, but he has to learn to let them go.”

“Makes me nervous,” Courtney said out loud, despite not meaning to.

“Carl would never do anything to hurt you, not directly anyway. This current little thing is all about me.” Tony assured as he kept one eye on the road and the other on his girlfriend in the passenger seat. Though he didn't like what she said, he was glad she was opening herself up to him, sharing her feelings and thoughts and concerns.

“Not exactly what I meant.”

“Oh?”

“Sometimes I worry that one day you'll start thinking the way Carl is and want nothing to do with me. My mom says you don't seem like a guy who would start a relationship on a whim and that you don't seem like the love them then leave them type.”