Yield (6 page)

Her hug felt like a million bucks and I was a gold digger.  I wanted to latch on and never let her loose.  But I couldn’t.  Once she knew the truth, I would be left to rot in my own doings.  If I’d only known then what she would be to me now.

It was my own damn fault.  Hate wasn
’t strong enough an emotion to say how I feel about my stupidity.  I said all along I don’t deserve to keep her.  I was right when I said my past is too tarnished for her goodness.  I was willing to sacrifice her to Joshlin and a life of disgustingly perverted servitude without a second thought.  Changed or not, I was still an evil bastard before she made me see what road I was headed down.  I owed her my life.

And if she ever had the chance to read the stupid promises I made to Caydon on paper, she
’d hate me more.

“Why was the other day you came here this angry the day you met me?” 

She had no idea what she was asking me to admit.  I’d maul that stupid Wicker for telling too much.  A man has to have some save face time.

“I didn
’t want to admit what I already know.”

She drew her lips and brow in simultaneously. 
              “I don’t deserve you Emma no matter how you slice it.  And I knew it then."

Her face lit up like the Fourth of July.  “Are you saying,
Ames Cahn, that you were mad you liked me?”

No, I
’m pretty sure I knew from the first moment that I was in love with her.  She was staring at my lips again so I did what any male with a second brain would do in my place. I relieved her of her need.  I kissed her.  Her mouth was just like the icing on a cake.  It melted against mine and made me want to go back for more.  When she wasn’t pulling back, I did go back for more.  The second her tongue flicked in touching mine, I planted my feet firmer to the ground.  She didn’t know what she could do to me.

“Let
’s go,” I pulled back before I couldn’t stop.  I admit that out of the corner of my eye I thought of the grass and wanted to lay her down right then and there.  I said I admit it.  I didn’t say I did it.

She didn
’t stay far away from me the entire trip to my realm.  I didn’t want her too, but I
did
.  She would need the space and I couldn’t trust myself not to make her completely mine before the night ended to seal off her fate in some way. 

Yes, we shared the kiss.  No, it was not mine to take.  No, Caydon didn
’t know her soul.  I did.

In the eyes of our realms, it doesn
’t matter. 

“Joshlin turned up this morning.  Ranted about revenge and disappeared again.”  Trigger stopped Ames at the entrance to the realm going on about his royal pain in the rump.

“Yeah, well the trouble with up is there is always a down.”

Trigger laughed a little too much.  “That was priceless, queenie one.  I will have to remember that one.”

They went straight back into detail about what to do about Joshlin
’s escape and basically left me out so I helped them even more and started backing away.  I kissed Ames on the cheek and ran my hand over his shoulder down to his hand like I’d done many times now when we left each over for other parts of the realm.  Being here, I knew he was safe and at a moment’s reach.

And I hardly thought about the haze that surrounded the mountain and kept humans from wandering into the realm.  Today I watched for it.  I wanted to be away from the outside and safe in Ames
’ room where I knew he’d come to eventually and make me safe from anyone else trying to take me.  I was tired of the taking business.

I ignored the heavy discussion among the two men either way because I had more pressing matters.  I wanted a bath after being in my realm.  This morning
’s throw on a pair of jeans was the wrong angle to start the day.

I unbuttoned my jeans and turned on the water.  Just the sound of it made me feel better.  And cleaner.

I padded my feet across the stone floor to brush my teeth again.  That part I had done in the early hours.  I just couldn’t bath without having clean teeth first.  Some had rituals in the kitchen or even driving, but mine were in the morning when I got ready.  Or rather, noon at the moment.

I turned the cold water faucet and ran my toothbrush under the stream.  In mid air, the pink bristled blur sailed into the sink with the touch of a hand to my arm.

I screamed, but it was muffled by a hard, masculine hand.  His reflection in the mirror was a sad reminder of how even a hot guy can make your blood run cold when he has malicious intent. 

Standing this close to Joshlin, I pitied the way he held no repentance for what he
’d done or was doing or ever maybe about to do.  The son of Satan returns. S.O.S. as I so nicknamed him fits the man before me in so many ways and sadly, I doubted he would ever repent of his ways.

Forcing me to turn, he shoved his mouth on mine.  I stood motionless and lip locked as he spread his hands to tighten his hold on my braced body.  He prolonged it for much longer than any real man would have at realizing the other individual included wasn
’t returning the gesture.

Pulling back he glared. 

“What did you expect, fireworks and magic sparks flying out your ass?”  I tried to reach up and wipe him off my mouth, but he still had my arms.  Maybe that was a tad harsh, but this man tried to kill me once. “It doesn’t work like that Joshlin,” I half screamed.  “If you’d bothered acting like a real leader instead of manhandling women for years, maybe you’d know that.”  I haven’t ever used his name in a sense that resembled I knew him as more than just a kidnapper and rather an acquaintance.  That would mean admitting he was important or something. 

“Why did it work for him then
, you smartass female?” he screamed back at me.

“I
’m not a bargaining chip you can sell to get your kingdom back, Prince Far From Charming.  You can go find some other pet project—

“Stop touching her
, you jerk ass,” Ames bounded into the room interrupting our screaming match.  “Keep your hands off of her.”  His eyes didn’t look at me, but his hands were clearly pulling him off and guarding me like Joshlin might actually hurt me.  I don’t think he would, but I didn’t know him as well as Ames.

“You could be a little less of a witless wonder if you
’re able.  I am sure being granted amnesty is sufficient enough to have a means to an end, though I’m rethinking that now.  You are welcome to go back the damn hole you were—

“Fine.  She
’s not worth crap anyway.  Her kiss wasn’t even worth the effort.”

I should be hurt by his insults, but I wasn
’t.  I’ve been there, done that.  Christina Fowler saw to that for over a year.

And I knew what Joshlin hoped to gain by it, but he only confirmed the fact that a goblin
’s kiss can only exist if both parties feel the same and are from a true heir. Well maybe if the same feeling between them was hate.  They say love and hate are synonymous, but not in this instance.  And Joshlin wasn’t an heir.

I expected...or rather Joshlin expected Ames to react to his admission and fly off the handle, but he was sorely mistaken.  Ames
’ experience with the inept fools of his past made him hardened and callused enough that he didn’t flinch one iota.

“
I don’t know who released you, but you better run.  Leave now and never come back, brother.  If you do, it will be the last thing you do.”

“This isn
’t over.  He will come for her with or without some magic damn kiss.  I was just the confirmation service.”  Joshlin gave me one last look, long undefined toe-tip all the way to the top of my head look and turned to leave.  After he was gone, I remained in place unable to move until Ames lifted his left foot into the air and then replaced it.  I wanted to run to him.  I wanted to hide.  Joshlin’s words were meaningless to me, but I still felt shame for being put down in front of Ames. 

Trying to read his motives behind not moving or talking, I faltered when I read it as if he were ashamed of me or something.  I know this because he grabbed my shirt sleeve from the back, pulled me to his chest, and whispered close to my face, “He was just testing to see if he was...”

“I know, Ames.  I know exactly what he was doing.  I just don’t want you to think I wanted him to.”

He pulled our shoulders apart far enough to see my face an inch away from his and pulled a grin up.  “I am not jealous
, sweetness.  He can’t come close to this.”  He let go of my arm to sweep it across himself like Mr. GQ himself.  Oh, brother.

I rolled my eyes and laughed at his humor be
cause we both needed it. “As long as you’re not mad at me.”

I was yanked into the fastest kiss I
’d ever experienced.  And passionate.  I couldn’t remember ever being kissed like this before.  Within seconds I was overheated and felt my knees wobble.  Grabbing a hold of his arm to stay up, I didn’t mean to fall against him when he tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth.  And I didn’t mean to whimper when he did a second time.  His ability to immobilize my brain and body into one mushy mess was disturbing, but I wanted more and more.

“
See.”

“See what?” M
y mind was still swimming.

His breath was still close to mine that I could taste the earthy scent of pine and the feel the heat hitting my open lips.  I gasped at the realization that I wanted him to kiss me again and then again.  Just.like.that.

“That.  You’re inability to stay coherent when I kiss you.”

I slapped his chest from the small space I had to work with. “And what about you?  You
’re not the least affected?”

“Oh, you
’re mistaken there,” he pressed against me harder speaking in that raspier low-lidded pose he was so good at. “I can’t get enough of you.  It will never be enough."

He ran his thumb across his own top lip, then his bottom in a circle and let it sit there on the corner.  That was the second time I
’d noticed this particular dealing with stress habit.  He had several of them.  He was getting clearer to me every day.  In so many ways.  Like right now I think I could track him like a bloodhound.

“
You smell good.”

His wolfish grin went too wide.  I was in for it.

“You know, I don’t think you realize that’s one of the many parts of being goblin.  Your sense of smell is heightened to right about double that of a regular human.  But you can go right on thinking I smell like heaven.”

“Heaven.  How do you know I
’m not smelling dog crap and think it smells good?”

His face paled, but he said with effort, “If you think I smell like dog crap, I
’m not sure I can go on with this relationship.”

I laughed so hard at his ability to stay so straight-faced.  He joined me and asked what he really smelled like rather nervously.

I told him like I had before, “Like the earth on a crisp morning with a fresh cut pine lying out in front of me.”

He rolled his eyes and said I read too much.  That I sounded like a bad romance novel.  Then he took me to show me his cologne.  It wasn
’t anything pine scented at all.  All this time, it
was
just...him.

I wanted to tell Emma I had no idea what was magical or goblin induced.   I didn
’t know if the way she smelled so good to me was normal or goblin based or goblin king based.  And the emotions thing.  The kiss.

I didn
’t have a father to ask.  She didn’t either.  And I certainly wasn’t going to just call up one of the other realms and ask them.  So from everything including that first touch of heated glory to the emotions, enhanced energy in her powers, and being the only one who seems able to calm her when she is in a frenzy, I wasn’t sure what was just plain us.  I had to believe she loved me without any kind of magical influence.

I dreaded the next day and couldn
’t wait all at the same time.  And I’m weaker after that putz kissed her.  I wanted to wipe him off her the second I showed up too late.  The only thing I knew to do was kiss her like crazy and remind her how much I was fool for her.

“Can I see you a moment?”  I just wanted to see her alone before she learned more.

She opened the door hearing me clearly enough.  It had only been twenty minutes after we’d eaten dinner and only hours since I’d had her kiss, but I needed more.

Her face appeared around the door frame, in a silky white robe...that left little to the imagination.  So much for staying focused.

“You’re not...dressed.”  My voice up and left the building squawking little a girl.

She half laughed.  “Yes, Ames.  After you bathe, it
’s customary to not put ones clothes on if readying for bed.  Please say you don’t sleep in jeans.”

She’d seen what I sleep in, but
I couldn’t pass the opportunity.  “Well, since you asked, I prefer commando all the way.  What about you?”

Her mouth dropped and closed, dropped and closed.  Man, I could do this all day just to watch her reactions.  Every single time she gave me her little sarcastic flirting episodes, I would give her something to think about.  Me!

“Um, why are you here?”

The real question.  I blushed without meaning too.  My mind was picturing
other
things.

“To see you.”

“Gathered that, Mr. Mystery.”

The incessant nickname to remind me I should reveal more secrets.  She may think I was oblivious to some of her hints, but sometimes I choose to hover over the mysterious part a little longer.  Who knows how long I might still have her.  Tomorrow she will go to see Caydon.  Alone.

“I just need to see you.”  I can hear Wicker now.  Whooped.

She cautiously opened the door.  Surely she wasn
’t afraid I’d steal her virtue or something.

Inside, with no one to see us, I was suddenly nervous and untrusting of myself.  Maybe I did
want
to steal her virtue, that wasn’t a lie.  I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life.  But it wasn’t just the physical part of it.  It was the way she treated me, noticed things about me, cared.  I wanted to feel that over and over and not ever leave it.  I wanted to feel it as close as I could possibly get to her and that was the closest part we had yet to come to. 

“You going to bed?”

She asked looking me over several times and lingering on my shirt.  “Not now.” 

Was she pissed at me?  I scanned her face for emotions.  She had them well hidden somehow.

“What are you thinking?” I asked panicking.

“About why you
’re here.” She tapped her bare foot on the floor making me notice her toes.  They were painted.  When had I ever noticed a girls feet before other than how utterly thankful they were not made like a man's foot?

“Can
’t I just want to hang out with you?” I looked for a chair to sit in.  Why have I never been in here to not notice this kind of stuff?  Oh yeah, cause control was an issue for me around her.

“Ames, you and me, we can
’t just hang out.  But we can try.”

She was such a sass sometimes.  Girls are sarcastic, but not about...she was different.    She was right.

“Well, I just want to talk.”

Her brow lifted.  She really wasn
’t fooled. 

With no chair, we sat on the bed.  Not helping matters.

“I need to get a chair in here.”

Why?” she asked moving her head to the side and decidedly staring
now
at my neck.

She sat all the way near the pillows that were fluffed beyond anyone being able to sleep on them.  I sat first and naturally sat on the end of the bed three chasm feet away from her.  Just my luck. 

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

I don’
t. 

Watching me, I was stuck in the position I put us in.  “I should go.”

As I stood, I shook off the stiffness in my legs. 

“Don
’t.”  It was a whisper.

“Emma.  I
’m not sure I should.”

“Just lay here.  Hold me,” her soft whisper wouldn
’t let me say no but touch and nothing else? 
Hell no.
I haven’t that much restraint.

“Emma,” I pleaded.

“Please.”

There it was.  And when I woke up the next morning with her tucked under me, warm and fighting to almost get inside my skin, I was more than content to
just hold her
. 

Thinking she was still asleep, I ran my fingers through her hair. 

“Thought you only slept commando,” she said into my chest making my shirt warmer than the already toasty cocoon she made around me.

“Thought you said just sleep.”

“Well, that’s not a direct quote, but all you’ll get for now,” she smiled into my neck inching up on the bed and of course, inching her way up me.  Didn’t she know what that would do to a guy? 

“Thanks for last night.” 

She kissed my nose and jumped up before she’d know just what it did to me.  “Out, Ames.  I need to get dressed.”

“
Need help?”  A pillow hit my head and landed on the floor.  “Okay, I’m leaving. 
I’m leaving
.”

I walked out in absolute physical pain and feeling way more than just good.  Being with her did that to me.