You Against Me (19 page)

He said, ‘You don’t blag your way into someone’s house and punch their lights out.’ He rubbed at his nose, spreading new blood across his cheek.

Ellie felt heavy as she stood up. Her teeth ached and her knee was sore from where she’d slipped on the wet grass. ‘Tom?’

‘That whole family’s crazy. Didn’t you see him? I need you to believe it’s them and not me.’

‘Tom, your nose is bleeding loads.’

It was bright, startling. He tried to catch it, but it dripped through his fingers and splashed onto the tiled floor.

‘Let me help.’

‘I don’t want your help.’

She gave him her place on the toilet seat and got him more tissues. ‘Pinch it here, like this. And put your head down.’

He slumped there, holding his nose. The top of his head was shiny with water. ‘It hurts,’ he said. His voice was nasal and muffled.

‘It’ll stop soon. Here’s some more tissue.’

He gave her the old ones. They were warm and heavy. She put them in the pedal bin, then washed her hands in the sink. There were dots of blood splashed over the mirror. She wiped them with her palm and they smeared pink across the glass. She’d have to clean it properly later.

She dried her hands, went to the cabinet on the wall and scooped out handfuls of cotton-wool balls – pink, white, eggshell blue – like little clouds. She rinsed out the sink and filled it with fresh water. It was good having something to do, it slowed her pulse down.
This is how the nurses must have felt in the First World War
, she thought. Facts seeped into her head as she dunked and squeezed the cotton balls.

The war started on 28 June 1914 and lasted over four years. Total dead: over eleven million. Factors that led to strong feelings of nationalism throughout Europe were … Were what? Ellie leaned on the sink for a moment, a wave of panic in her gut. She’d learned the factors only last week. What was happening to the inside of her head?

She knelt on the floor at Tom’s feet in an effort to calm herself. She made him take the tissues from his nose. ‘It’s stopped,’ she said. ‘Now don’t speak. I’m going to clean you up.’

‘OK.’

‘Shush, no talking.’

She wiped his mouth and around his nose with cotton wool. She dabbed at his eyebrow. He moaned gently as she touched a raw place on his cheek.

There was silence then, a tiny window of time when they looked at each other. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said.

Ellie felt her insides shift; a warmth for her brother stirred there.

He kept his eyes on her as she blotted at him. ‘You think he does boxing?’

‘Probably.’

Tom’s face softened. ‘He landed the first punch, Ellie. I couldn’t let him get away with that. I couldn’t just stand there and take it.’

She didn’t understand the world of fighting, that’s what the problem was. She’d been looking for subtlety, and there wasn’t any – it came down to daring and bravado. Tom had the better weapon. Tom won. Maybe Mikey didn’t mind about the bottle as much as she did. Maybe he didn’t see it as cheating.

‘He shouldn’t’ve come here. He shouldn’t’ve dared. You know what I mean?’

She nodded.

‘I wouldn’t’ve bottled him. I only wanted to scare him. Did you think I was going to bottle him for real?’

‘I don’t know.’

He smiled. ‘You soaked me with that hosepipe.’

‘Yeah.’

‘You’re a nutter.’

She sat down at his feet and watched him searching for pain with the tips of his fingers.

‘Is there anything here?’ He pushed out his lip with his tongue – it was swollen, as if he’d been stung.

‘Just a graze.’

Tom said, ‘You all right?’

‘Sure.’

‘You don’t look it.’

Her throat contracted and her eyes filled with tears. ‘What’s going to happen next?’

‘I’ll go to court. I’ll get off. We’ll go back to normal.’ Tom looked down at her fondly, the way he used to before any of this. ‘It’ll be all right.’

‘It’s always the men. Have you noticed? Any trouble in the world and there are always men involved.’

‘I’m a bloke, Mum.’

‘I know that, Mikey.’

‘Well, it’d be nice if you’d stop slagging us off.’

They’d been at it since they got up, and today was the formal hearing, so they’d all woken early – his sisters listening to Mum as if it was story time, while she told them about every unpleasant bloke she’d ever met. Karyn was lapping it up. If all men were bad, then she didn’t have to feel so alone. Mum was getting off on it too. It was her new way of being close to Karyn.

‘Should you be drinking that?’ Mikey said. ‘I thought we had a deal.’

She ignored him, licked her lips like a starved cat, tipped the glass and knocked another great gulp back. Mikey checked the clock – it was nearly eight. At this rate she’d be drunk before they even got to court.

‘Look around the estate,’ Mum said. ‘At all the jobs women do – bringing up kids, cleaning and shopping and cooking, and that’s before they go out to work. Have you ever noticed how women can do more than two things at once?’

‘I can do three,’ Holly said. ‘Look, I’m eating Coco Pops, putting my socks on and listening to you.’

‘You’re a genius,’ Mikey told her as he leaned over and took Mum’s bottle from the table.

She looked up quickly. ‘Where are you going with that?’

‘I’ll swap you. I’ll make you breakfast.’

‘I don’t want any breakfast.’

‘You need to eat something before we go.’

He had a look at the bottle as he took it upstairs. Tio Nico sherry, £3.50 for half a litre from Ajay’s. Seventeen per cent proof. She must’ve got it first thing, when he was waking the girls up, maybe told herself it was only milk she was going for. Anything that cheap tasted rubbish and a third of it was gone already. He rammed it in his wardrobe and went back down to the lounge. If he could get her to eat something, it would soak the worst of it up.

‘Scrambled egg,’ he said. ‘I’ll make that if you like.’

His mother blinked at him. ‘Scrambled egg?’

‘Yeah, you know – proper food for once. Little bit of onion, little bit of garlic. We’ve got bacon as well. It’ll be nice.’

Mum looked confused, turned back to her glass and knocked the last bit back. ‘If you want to.’

He tried not to listen as she told the girls one of her mad London stories about a bloke called Vivian who was married with three kids and forgot to mention that fact when he gave Mum a ring from the Argos catalogue and asked her to marry him.

‘Humiliating,’ Mum said, as the girls sympathized. ‘I was only seventeen. Maybe that’s what put me off men for life.’

‘I like men,’ Holly said.

Karyn shook her head. ‘No you don’t.’

‘I do. They’re good at cooking.’

Mikey shot her a grateful smile.

‘Cooking’s not the point,’ Karyn growled. ‘Men are like animals, Holly. Think of dogs. No, think of apes.’

‘I like apes.’

‘Yeah, but you wouldn’t want to marry one.’

They all fell about laughing. Charming. Bloody brilliant. Even Holly was turning against him.

Gillian turned up when he was serving the eggs, and even though Mum didn’t want any and Karyn would probably only pick at hers, it looked impressive. He wanted to say,
Told you I could manage
. He wanted her to notice Holly’s brushed hair and clean school shirt, but all Gillian had eyes for was the bruise on his face. She came right up and peered at him like a doctor.

‘I heard about this,’ she said.

‘It looks worse than it is.’

‘Still, that’s quite a shiner. Over two weeks ago, wasn’t it? And you’ve still got all colours there.’

Mikey glared at Karyn, because she shouldn’t’ve opened her gob. He knew she wouldn’t grass who the fight was with, because they’d agreed not to tell anyone except Jacko, and she didn’t even know the bit about Ellie being there. But he’d bet any money she’d told Gillian he’d lost. He wondered if the cop wrote it in her case notes –
Family lacks male role model. Eldest son a wimp
.

‘I like his bruise,’ Holly said. ‘It’s pretty.’

‘Pretty stupid,’ Mum cut in. ‘He went out on a date and came home covered in blood. Wouldn’t tell me anything about it, except the girl already had a boyfriend. You’d think he’d bother finding that out first, wouldn’t you?’

He scowled at his mother. She should be thanking him for waking her up, running her bath and hiding the booze. Of course she was nervous on a day like today, but that didn’t mean she could take it out on him.

‘Any chance of a tea?’ Gillian asked as she took off her jacket.

Blimey, even she was treating him like slave boy now. He banged the kettle about, so she’d know he wasn’t a total pushover, then sent Holly off to get her coat and book bag. Emphasized
book bag
, so Gillian would know he was on to that too. Weird to see Karyn shove up on the sofa to let this woman sit down. Only a few weeks ago she didn’t like her, but now she gave her a big smile and offered her a piece of toast.

‘Karyn’s feeling a bit nervous,’ Mum told the cop. ‘So it’s great you could come.’

Gillian nodded sympathetically. ‘I’m happy to. I’ll stay with her until you get back. I can answer any questions she has and we’ll get a phone call as soon as we hear how he pleads.’ She turned to Karyn, patted her hand. ‘You’ll be first to know, all right?’

Karyn nodded. ‘He’s not going to say he did it though, is he?’

‘I’m sorry, darling, but he probably won’t. We’ll keep positive though, eh? We can’t know for sure until it’s over.’

Mikey plonked her tea down – milk, no sugar, just how she liked it. ‘Biscuit?’ he said, because they had some.

‘No, ta.’ She smiled up at him. ‘Are you taking Holly to school now?’

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘And you know what? She hasn’t missed a day since we spoke.’

She nodded, looked impressed.

The school run was the best thing about the last three weeks. Everything else was utter crap, but getting up early and getting Holly in on time had become a challenge. He was good at it too. She’d only been late twice, and then only slightly late.

Holly came bouncing back in with her coat on and did the rounds of hugs and kisses.

‘I’m coming back for Mum after,’ Mikey told Gillian. ‘I changed shifts at work and my mate’s taking us in his car. The bus to Norwich takes too long.’

‘I don’t know what I’d do without him,’ Mum said. ‘Seriously, he’s a diamond.’

She sounded like she meant it, which was nice.

Holly ended up next to Mikey, her hand curled into his. He liked that. ‘I’ll be back in fifteen,’ he told them all.

‘Well done, Mikey,’ Gillian said.

Even Karyn gave him a fond wave.

Result! He led Holly to the door and got out of there before the balance tipped the other way again.

‘I can’t do this.’ Tom’s voice was ragged and seemed to come from far away, even though he was sitting right next to Ellie in the back of the car.

Dad turned in the driver’s seat. ‘You can,’ he said, ‘and you have to.’

‘Where’s the barrister though?’

‘He’ll be here.’

‘And the solicitor? He said he’d meet us in the car park.’

‘I’ll call him.’

Ellie closed her eyes and tried to think of something mundane like a chocolate biscuit or sitting on a sofa. It was difficult to concentrate though, and perhaps a biscuit wasn’t big enough to distract her. She turned her attention to the shopping centre they’d passed on the way in instead. It was across the car park and beyond the court building and soon it would be open and people would go in and buy groceries and newspapers and other everyday things. They’d trail children and carrier bags and moan about prices. It was a comfort to know that the real world would go on in its usual way, whatever happened to her family this morning.

She opened her eyes and gave Tom what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

‘What?’ he said.

‘What, what?’

‘Why are you looking at me?’

‘I dunno.’

‘Well don’t.’

‘All right, Tom, just chill!’

‘Ellie!’ Mum turned in her seat.

‘All I did was smile at him!’

‘Well don’t.’

Ellie slumped back down. She wished she was old. She’d swap her life to be in a life that was nearly over, so long as she didn’t have to be here.
You’re the primary witness
, Dad kept saying.
You need to show support
.

They’d made her wear the skirt and blouse she’d got for Granddad’s funeral. The skirt was black nylon and stuck to her tights with static electricity. The blouse was dark grey. She’d studied herself in the hall mirror before getting into the car.

‘I look like a nun.’

‘You look perfect,’ her mother had said.

They wanted holy. Not red-hot nail varnish, purple lipstick and a flaming orange mini-skirt stretched tight around the thighs. Those were not good girl’s clothes.

Tom suddenly sat upright. ‘Who are all those people?’

A small crowd walked through the gate. Nine or ten teenagers heading for the main door.

‘Are they here for us?’ His voice was edged with panic.

Ellie pressed her nose against the window. The little crowd had stopped at the bottom of the main steps. One of the girls looked at her mobile. Two of the boys sat down.

‘The doors aren’t open yet,’ Ellie said. ‘They can’t go in.’

Tom peered past her. ‘That girl in the blue coat,’ he said, ‘I know her from college. And the one next to her!’

He was panicking properly now. He looked desperate and hot and he didn’t seem to care if they all saw him like this. Ellie tried to think of words that would help, but all she could think of were tight, angry words like
your fault
and
no
and …
stop
!
This is you
, she thought.
This is the real terrified you. Did you know this was you before this began?

‘Don’t let yourself be intimidated by that mob,’ Dad said. ‘Come on, Tom, pull yourself together.’

Ellie felt a strange calm descend. If Tom couldn’t cope, then maybe they could go home. Perhaps he’d actually go insane and they’d call an ambulance and then her and Mum and Dad could go for coffee and cake somewhere lovely and forget all about him. Tom took several deep breaths and blew them out again as if he was blowing smoke rings. Maybe he’d hyperventilate. Could you die from that?