You Are a Medium: Discover Your Natural Abilities to Communicate With the Other Side (18 page)

again, thank you and he loves you.”

Shared Transformation

Suicide is a joint earth school lesson. When someone you love

chooses to end their life, your life too, significantly changes. I have worked with people who have suffered almost unimaginable and

devastating loses. The grief can be overwhelming. People are left

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feeling lost, confused and often unable to continue to carry on in

their day to day routines.

Clients often ask me. “What now? I do not know who I am or

where to go from here.”

When a loved one commits suicide your life is never be the

same. Grief and suffering are messengers of awakening.

The mourning period after a death can be long and arduous.

When it is a death from suicide it can take even longer. During this process questions, self-examination and obsessive thoughts can

torment those left behind. All too often, loved ones cling to the past and to their regrets. Going over and over in their mind what they

could have done differently. They examine their last conversations

with their loved ones looking for clues that might have saved their life. All too often self-blame and guilt takes over.

Yet, after the death of a loved one through suicide, the earth

school lesson that you are being asked to learn is not one of shame and pain. Instead it is a call into your highest purpose. When a

loved one passes over a part of you goes with them. Your life and

all that you have thought to be true and real is forever altered. Just as your loved one, who has committed suicide, is now immersed in

the love of spirit, so too must you live in your most spiritual energy.

What does this mean? It is necessary for you to ask yourself why

you are here. What is your purpose? What can you give? The natu-

ral inclination after the suicide of a loved one is to shut down and retreat inwardly or to immerse oneself in worldly distractions. This is the understandable human response. Yet in the higher cosmic

plan you are being called to transform and become a presence of

love and peace to others.

The people who I have seen survive and thrive after devastating

losses are those who commit their lives to a greater purpose. You

do not need to know what it is or how it will unfold. Just be willing to be open and to be a channel of love in the world. This does not

Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being ~ 119

mean that you have to quit your job, leave a relationship, move or

give up the good in your life. A way will be made.

I have a client who after her son’s suicide was lead to be a men-

tor in the Big Brother and Big Sister program. Anna told me that

she was sitting at her kitchen table one night, like she did night

after night. Thinking of her son, her mind went through the events

leading to his suicide. Was there anything more that I could have

done to help him? She wondered. But on this night, she heard a

voice answer her back.

“There are many that you can now help.” Anna inwardly heard a

voice that sounded like her son’s speak to her.

Startled and surprised, she realized that there were other teen-

agers and other parents who might be going through what she went

through. Maybe she could not help her son, but she could help oth-

ers like him.

She eventually started a local suicide prevention organization.

She along with others, who had lost loved ones to suicide, began

to speak in high schools sharing with the students their grief. The response from the students was heartwarming. Many came forward

after her talks and told her how they too were struggling with de-

pression and suicidal feelings. With a grant she was able to start a crisis counseling center which she dedicated to her son. Anna also

transformed her life in other ways. After her initial struggle with guilt and low self-esteem, she felt a gentle peace begin to unfold

in her heart. Sitting on her back deck for hours watching the birds and squirrels, her sensitivity to the beauty in all of life increased.

An unexpected acceptance of her son’s journey in life gradually

surfaced. Anna felt his presence close by and felt confident in their ability to communicate with one another. In her heart she knew

that her healing and the work that she was doing to help others was having a positive effect on her son. She felt him working through

her, directing her to the places and people who she could most be

of service to. In this way her connection with her son transformed.

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Even though she still missed him, Anna felt her efforts gave his life purpose.

A Past life Suicide

Many people believe that we live more than one life. The soul on a

journey to the ultimate connection with the source of all love and

life evolves and learns through many life times. If this is not your belief system, you might consider the following story as a metaphor of healing and redemption.

The following session account differs from the other stories in

this book. From time to time I work with someone who can benefit

from past life hypnotherapy. Medium readings provide informa-

tion, messages and connections that are vital and important for

healing and enlightenment.

Participating in our healing in a more experiential and direct

way through hypnotherapy can also be a powerful catalyst for

growth and self-awareness. To understand our often confusing

present day challenges, past life therapy can provide the missing

piece in the puzzle.

I had a few medium readings with Debra before we decided to

have a past life therapy session.

“My intuition, she shared with me, “is telling me that the past

may hold the key to understanding my current struggles”.

On the day of our appointment she came in and seemed both

excited and a bit uneasy. Despite her initial uneasiness, after the relaxation induction Debra began to easily describe what she was see-

ing and experiencing.

“Can you look around and tell me anything that you sense or

see.” I encourage her.

“I am alone. I feel that this is my home. It is sparse and simple.”

Debra continues.

I see a few tears in Debra’s eyes. She seemed to be struggling.

‘What is happening?”

Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being ~ 121

A minute or so later she strains to answer. “I don’t know. I am

very sad. Something happened. I just want to cry.”

“Go back to the incident that made you sad.” I direct her.

“I have a young son. It is just the two of us. I wash clothes for

other people to make money.”

“Are you married?” I ask her. “Do you have other family?”

Debra pauses before answering. “I am not sure … no. I think I

had a husband, but he died. I don’t know how I am going to sup-

port my son? I am worried. It doesn’t feel that there is anyone helping me.”

Move the scene forward and tell me what happens. What do you

do?” I ask Debra.

“There is another man. It feels like I marry him. Not because I

love him, I don’t have feelings for him. He promises to take care of me and my son.” She explains.

“What happens next?”

Debra gasps, almost chokes with emotion and begins to cry.

“What is happening?” I try to direct her to put into words the

intensity of her feelings.

“I don’t know. Something happened to my son. I call his name

and search for him in the house and outdoors. He is not here. I

cannot find him. I look and look … my neighbors are also look-

ing … He has been found … no, no … no … this cannot be.

“Take a deep breath.” I advise Debra. “Breathe and let the feel-

ings recede. Detach from them and tell me what happened.”

“Someone found him. He is at the bottom of our well. He is not

moving. I think he is dead.”

“Breathe and relax.” I tell Debra. We take a few minutes to

breathe and she slowly seems calmer.

“People seem mad. They are accusing my new husband. I am

confused …” She struggles to explain. “I think my husband killed

him. Yes, he is confessing to throwing him down the well.”

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“Move the scene forward. What happens next?” I ask Debra. De-

spite the emotional intensity, I know that we need to continue. I

encourage her to detach from these difficult and painful feelings

and to release them.

Debra takes a deep breath and answers. “Now I am alone. I don’t

know why my husband did this. He is gone. I feel very guilty. I let a man into my house that killed my only child. I didn’t even love

him. It’s my fault. I let him into our lives to make it easier. I didn’t really know him … Now, I am at a cemetery. I see a headstone. This

is where my son is. I visit him every day.”

“Go the end of your life.” I ask Debra. “How do you die?”

She quickly answers. “I see myself walking to the cemetery. I sit

down close to my son’s headstone. I have a bag with a container of

some kind in it. This is a poison that I have put together with berries, herbs and other things. I drink it and lay down. Oh … I am in horrible pain.

But, I don’t care. I deserve it.” Debra begins to moan.

“Are you leaving the physical body? I ask her.

“Yes”

“Look down as you pass out of the body.” I instruct her. “What

do you see?”

Debra seems much calmer now. “I see my limp body lying in the

snow and mud. It’s a cold winter day.”

“Now what do you do?” I ask her.

“I am still alive. I see my body, but it feels very dark. I don’t

know where to go or what to do. I call out for my son. I want to

find him.” She tells me. “I am lost and wandering, searching for

him.”

“There is an angel coming close to help you.” I direct her. “Go

with the angel. Feel her love and follow her. What is happening?

Can you see her?” I ask Debra.

“I am going higher and higher. There is someone close to me.”

She tells me.

Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being ~ 123

“Who is it?”

“I think it’s an angel. There is so much love. I just want to rest.”

Debra then becomes quiet.

A few minutes later I continue.

“How does the life that you just experienced, impact your cur-

rent life. Maybe the angel will help you to understand this. Why

don’t you ask her?”

“I feel so much love. I don’t feel as if I deserve it. I am getting the message from the angel that my constant feelings of depression

and unworthiness are connected to this life. The angel is telling me that my daughter came to help me. She is like a helper spirit who

agreed to incarnate with me.”

Debra, I know from past sessions is a single parent with one

daughter.

“Is there anything else that your angel wants you to know?” I ask

her. “She tells me that I am learning to make good choices in this

life and to confront my feelings of unworthiness.”

I tell Debra to take a few moments to allow the love of this angel

to move through her body and release the pain and stress of this

past life. I ask her to fill the places in her body where there has been pain with love. She rests for several minutes then a look of peace

comes over her face.

She continues. “I feel an incredible love and peace. I have always

felt guilty and did not know why. I feel more peace right now than

I ever have.

I begin to guide Debra back to normal consciousness when she

abruptly begins to talk.

“I think my grandmother is here. I see her in my mind’s eye. It is

my mother’s mother. I didn’t know her well. She died when I was a

child. But, I have seen many pictures of her. This looks like her and I somehow know that it is.

“Can you communicate with her?” I ask.

“I don’t know.”

124 ~ Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being

“Ask her if she has a message for you.” I wait a minute or two,

and then Debra begins to speak.

“I sent her a thought message, asking her why she is here. I

heard her say “thank you”. Then I felt a lot of love from her to me.

But I do not know why she is thanking me.” Debra says.

“Send her another message and ask her.” I encourage Debra.

She quickly answers. “I got a lot of information all of a sudden.

I don’t know how I know these things but it feels like she was de-

pressed. No one ever discussed her death. She died at home. All I

was told is that she died in her sleep … wow … what a surprise. I

somehow know that she took an overdose of sleeping pills. Could

this be true? Do you think I am making this up?” Debra asks me.

“I doubt it.” I tell her. “Just listen and you can figure that out

later. What else are you hearing or do you know?”

“My grandmother is thanking me for getting help for my de-

pression. She knows how much I struggled in college. I even con-

templated suicide. I finally went to a doctor and a therapist. They helped a lot.” Debra continues.

“Is there anything else she wants to say?” I ask her.

“My grandmother is saying that it is all going to work out. The

hardest part is over. I feel her love. I am so surprised this is happening.” Debra tells me.

“Send your grandmother love and forgiveness. I am sure she