You Got Me (5 page)

I nearly choked on my Coke. “Dad!”

He laughed. “Just speaking the truth.”

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but smile. Steve was the best father a girl could ever have. I was very lucky to have him and Emily as my parents. I definitely didn't deserve them.

AIDEN

We won. 15 to 14. Not by a lot, but still, we rocked.

“
Are you coming to the party tonight?” Gary asked.

I looked in the stands. Roxy and her dad were about to leave. I had to catch her before she left.

“Maybe,” I shouted at Gary as I ran towards the stands. “Roxy!”

She turned towards me, and smiled. Her smile was breathtaking, and for a moment, I imagined what it would be like to kiss her lips, but I quickly shook off the thought. I was not going to think of her that way.

I watched her push her way through the crowd and walk towards the front of the stands. “Hey,” she said, shyly.

“
Hey,” I said, almost at a loss for words. Why did I come over here again? Oh right... I wanted to hang out with her more. “So there's a party tonight... You know, to celebrate us winning. Do you want to come with me?”

She didn't say another word for about 30 seconds. I was scared that she was going to turn me down, but finally she said, “I'd like that.”

“Awesome! Meet me in front of the dorms in about 30 minutes.”

30 minutes later, I stood in front of Lane Dorms waiting for Roxy to come out. I once again began to question my judgment. What was I doing with her? Sure, she's absolutely gorgeous, smart, and wonderful in every single way, but I shouldn't be falling for her. I can't let anything stand in the way of my dreams. Especially not a beautiful woman.

But then I saw Roxy walk out the front door. Her black hair was blowing in the breeze, and I knew then that I was a goner. There was no going back. She had somehow made her way into my heart, and now that I had her, I was never letting her go... Not that I
had her
. We weren't like that. Not that I didn't
want
to be.... Gah, now I sounded like a girl. Roxy and me were
friends
. I was allowed to have a girl as my friend. It was normal. Lots of guys and girls are friends without being romantically involved.

“
So, I have a confession,” she said as we walked to my car. “I've never actually been to a party before.”

“
Really? Not even in high school?”

She shook her head. “I've kind of always stuck to myself.”

“In high school, I partied a lot. I thought I could drink away my pain,” I admitted. “My dad was an alcoholic. That's how he died, he was drinking while driving.”

“
Oh my goodness. I had no idea,” she put a hand on my shoulder. “I'm sorry about your dad, Aiden. I don't know how it feels to lose a parent to death, but I do know how to feels to lose a parent.”

“
What happened to your real mom?” I asked, not expecting an answer.

“
She's in a high security insane asylum.” I could hear the heaviness in her voice. “She's never getting out, and I'm not allowed to visit her.”

“
Do you want to?” I opened the passenger door for her.

She sighed. “I probably shouldn't want to, but I do. I miss her.”

I walked around the car and got in the driver's seat. “So why can't you see her?”

“
It was court ruled. She can't have any visitors, at least not now anyway.” She paused before adding, “Maybe they're afraid I'm like her. If they keep us separated, I may be less likely to turn out like her.”

“
You're not crazy,” I quickly replied.

“
She wasn't always crazy either, I'm sure.” She rubbed her arms, they were covered in ink, as always. “I don't want to be like her.”

“
You won't,” I promised. I parked the car, but before getting out, Roxy turned towards me.

“
One day, I will be brave enough to tell you about me, and when I do, you will run away.” She got out of the car before I could respond.

I quickly got out and ran after her. “Roxy,
nothing
could ever make me run away from you.”

She held up her arms to me. The words
'I am not a monster'
were wrote over and over again. “I'm completely screwed up.”

“
I don't care that you write on your arms. So what?” I challenged her. “You're different. It's ok to not be like everybody else.”

“
But I want to be!” she screamed at me before she started to cry. She tried to run away once again, but I grabbed her, and pulled her close. “I want to be normal,” she cried. “Is that so wrong?”

I pushed her back so I could look her in the eyes. “Why be ordinary? Seriously. You are the most extraordinary person I know. You're better than everybody else. Can't you see that?”

She actually smiled through her tears, but didn't say anything.

“
I couldn't say that to anybody. Only you, Roxy.”

“
Thank you.” I could tell that she was done with the conversation, and needed me to change the subject.

“
You ready to your first college party?” I asked, putting my arm around her.

She nodded. “I think I am.”

ROXY

Even from the outside, the music was loud, and the smell of cheap beer was strong in the air. I knew that it was going to be lame, but I wanted to go anyway.

Usually, the thought of being around people would give me a panic attack, but not today... Not since Aiden was with me. I was actually looking forward to sharing this first experience with him.

“So what do we do now?” I asked, sort of excited.

“
We drink... socialize...” he answered. “I'm actually not very good at this either.”

“
Oh come on, Mr. Football. You're a star athlete. I'm sure you know how to socialize. Especially at a celebration! You won! Boo Crimson Tide!”

He laughed. “Oh you're such a good cheerleader.” He took my hand and pulled me inside.

As soon as we walked in, I could hear nothing but music, and lots of voices. Everybody was trying to talk over the noise. It was packed and I could feel myself start to freak out a little bit.

Aiden pulled me closer, and said in my ear, “You can do this.”

I felt braver at his words. I could do this.

The smell of alcohol was strong in the air, and I'm pretty sure that the girl next to me was smoking something that wasn't a cigarette... But I was doing this. Step one to not being crazy... Making friends. Certainly if I surrounded myself with people that liked me, they would be my motivation to stay on the straight and narrow, right?

“Aiden!” I heard somebody from behind us yell. We both turned around.

“
Hey, Gary!” Aiden said back.

“
Who is your friend?” he asked.

“
This is Roxy. Roxy, this is my roommate and the quarterback, Gary.”

“
Nice to meet you,” Gary said, shaking my hand. “Are you two... dating?”

“
No,” we both quickly said together.

“
Then you won't mind if I dance with her?” Gary asked Aiden. Gary started to pull me towards him.

Aiden looked at him, and then at me. He looked like he wanted to say something, but quickly shut his mouth. “If she wants to dance with you, then go ahead.”

Gary looked at me.  Normally, I would say no, but tonight was about being brave. I wasn't scared anymore. I was confident. Or, at least that's what I kept telling myself.

“
Sure, why not?”

I let him drag me out in the sea of people and I danced with him. He wasn't a very good dancer, but I had to admit, it was fun. Well, besides the fact that he stepped on my right foot twice.

“I think my boy has a thing for you.”

“
Why do you say that?” I asked, trying to ignore the quickening of my heart beat.

“
Because he's been giving me a death glare the whole time we've been dancing.”

I looked over to where Aiden was standing, and he was staring at us. “I don't think he's giving you a death glare. He's just...” I was at a loss for words. He did kind of look mad.

“He's just giving me a death glare,” Gary finished my sentence and then laughed. “You know, it's kind of a relief to see him finally into a girl. I was worried that my roommate was gay.”

I couldn't help but laugh. “We are just friends.”

“I see the way you two are practically drooling over each other. You haven't stopped looking at him this whole dance. I'd say that your feelings are mutual.”

“
He deserves better than me.” It was the truth.

“
Maybe you just don't see yourself clearly. Because from where I stand, you two are perfect for each other. I think maybe you're just scared.”

“
Deep words coming from a quarterback.” His words were more true than I cared to admit.

“
I'm thinking about becoming a psychologist,” he shrugged. The song came to an end. “You know I'm right, though. Just give your heart what it wants... It wants Aiden Dixon.”

Gary turned and walked away, and I just stood there, thinking about what he said. His words affected me more than I thought they would. Maybe I did need to just let myself move on. There was nothing I could do to change my past, but I could definitely change my future.

AIDEN

It killed me to watch Gary dancing with Roxy. He held her a little closer than I was comfortable with. And all that laughing... What was he saying that was making her laugh so hard? It took all my willpower not to go rip them apart during the middle of their dance. Once the song was over, I was relieved to see him walk away.

I decided that if I didn't want Roxy to dance with anybody else, I should just dance with her. I wanted everybody to see that she was mine... Even if she wasn't, not really. I didn't want anybody else to have her.

What is wrong with me?

I wanted to kick myself. Roxy deserved to find a guy and be happy, because I could not be that guy. No matter how badly I wanted to be, I just couldn't. But at that moment, I didn't care how selfish I was being. I wanted to dance with her... just to hold her close, even if it was only for one night.

“Dance with me?” I whispered in her ear. She shivered against my body, and I nearly lost my cool. Where was all this desire coming from?

She nodded, but didn't say a word. I pulled her into my arms, and we danced. It didn't matter that there wasn't a slow song playing, I held her close, and we swayed slowly.

I loved the way she smelled like cotton candy. I loved the way she let me lead, even though I was not a good dancer. I loved the way she felt in my arms, so tiny, and so fragile. I knew at that moment that there was nothing that I wouldn't do for her. I would protect her, and cherish her, like the true jewel that she was.

Roxy had been through a lot of crap in her life, I could see it in her eyes, the pain, and the disappointment. She had to try so hard at life, and I wanted so badly to make her happy. I didn't want her to have to try. I wanted to be the reason she woke up in the morning, the reason she smiled... I wanted to be her everything.

Roxy looked up at me with her smoky green eyes, and I swear my heart stopped. I had never in my life seen somebody so beautiful, and I wanted her to be mine. But for now, I had nothing to offer her. There was nothing left in me that I could give to her. She deserved so much better than me. Yet, I couldn't seem to let her go.

SIX

ROXY

After the party, Aiden decided to walk me to my dorm. He lived one floor above me. I told him it wasn't necessary that he walk me to my door, but he insisted. I think I didn't want him to because I was afraid that he would kiss me... As much as I wanted him to kiss him, I also knew that I wasn't ready.

“
Did you have fun?” he asked as we walked up the stairs.

“
Very much,” I admitted. “But I'm so glad you were there. I couldn't have done it without you.”

“
I think you could have,” he countered. “You're stronger than you think.”

His words, though said so casually, hit me hard. “Aiden,
you
make me stronger. You're my... crutch. Without you I'm just a scared, and hurt little girl..”

He shook his head. “No, Roxy, it's not true. I just encouraged you to go. You had the strength the whole time.”

“Either way, thank you.” When we got to my door, there was a sock tied around it. I rolled my eyes. “Great.”

Aiden pulled out his phone. “It's one in the morning. Your roommate is very inconsiderate.”

I laughed. His words were true. Though, I'm pretty sure my roommate thought I was weird, and didn't care where I slept as long as it wasn't near her.