You Got Me (9 page)

“
It sounds like you and Aiden are getting really close.”

I nodded my head. “We are.”

She leaned forward in her chair. “Look, Roxy, I'm really glad you're making a friend, but it sounds like you are really depending on this boy. What happens if he gets a girlfriend and she doesn't want him hanging out with you? Or what happens when you graduate and go your separate ways?”

I sat back on the couch, feeling overwhelmed. “I hadn't thought about that.”

She sent me a sad smile. “I'm not saying you should stop hanging out with Aiden. I like that he is encouraging you. But I want to make sure that
you
don't depend on him too much. If you do, you might find that you're worse off in the long run.”

I nodded, not sure what to say. She was right. I did depend on him more than I should.

Damn Dr. Lewis.

AIDEN

I was supposed to meet Roxy on the roof, but she sent me a text message saying she was tired and that she just wanted to go to bed. I tried not to be disappointed, but I couldn't help it. I really wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to make her mine. But, at the same time, I knew I couldn't, not yet. Roxy was different. No matter how bad I wanted to dive in head first, I had to go slow with her.

I couldn't believe that she finally opened up to me last night. It was a huge first step for her. Everything she told me about her mom was completely crazy, and I was starting to understand why she was always so distant. She spent 16 years living with a psychopath. I wouldn't trust anybody if I was her.

More than anything, I wanted to take away her bad memories, but how could I? Would she always have panic attacks? Would she always write on her arms? Could I ever have a real relationship with her? I thought back to our weekend together, and I knew the answer. Yes, we could be together. The way she was with my family, with me... She may always be haunted by nightmares, but she will have a normal life.

The next day, I went to Roxy's dorm after football practice. She had been very quiet that day, and I wanted to see her. I needed to talk to her... To make sure that I didn't scare her off. When I knocked on the door, her redheaded roommate answered.

“You again.” She smiled.

“
Is Roxy here?” I asked

She pouted. “What, I'm not good enough for you?”

No,
I thought, but I didn't say it because I was a nice person. “Is she here?” I asked again.

“
No.” She shut the door in my face before I could ask where she was. Not that I needed to know. She was either getting coffee or she was on the roof. I guessed the roof.

When I opened the door to the roof, I smiled when I heard music. Her back was turned towards me, just like the first day I saw her. She had her guitar in her hands. The sun was just starting to set, and I decided that there was definitely nothing more sexy than her in that moment.

Not hearing me, she started playing a song. I decided not to interrupt her. I just wanted to listen. She played so well, and her voice was so smooth and beautiful. Hearing her, it was hard to tell she had only been playing for 3 years. It came so natural for her.

Whenever you're around, I lose all control

Whenever I'm with you, I feel like I've found me

Whenever I feel you, I can't hold myself back

(back, back)

Cause you got me

I'm yours for eternity

I ain't turnin' back now

Cause I'm in way too deep

To turn back

Now that you've got me

I'm yours completely
Forever

Now that I've found you

I ain't turnin' back

Forever

I wondered if she wrote this song. Her other song way so dark, unlike this one, but both were so full of emotion. I could feel her vulnerability through the music. It wasn't the Roxy I was used to. This Roxy was so open, so honest, and so beautiful. Most of the time she spent trying to hide. It was nice to see her without the mask.

“Did you write that?”

I saw Roxy jump. “Geez, Aiden... Do you always have to sneak up on me?”

“Would you have sung that for me if you knew I was here?” I asked.

“
Probably not.”

“
Exactly.” I sat down beside her. “I love your voice.”

“
Thanks,” she said shyly.

“
Did you write it?” I asked her again.

She nodded her head, not looking at me. I wondered why she was being so shy about it.

“I love it.”

Finally, she looked me in the eyes, and I swear my heart skipped a couple beats. She was looking at me like she did in the car right before I kissed her. “It's how I feel about you. Us... Umm...” Once again, she looked down. “Not saying there is an
us
. But, never mind...”

I couldn't help but smile. She wasn't avoiding me because she didn't return my feelings. She was avoiding me because she was scared I didn't like her. Kind of ironic. “Roxy, just so you know, the feeling is mutual.”

A huge smile broke out over her face.

I put my arm around her, and we both watched the sun set. She leaned her head over on my shoulder, and it felt good. She was exactly where she belonged.

ROXY

Aiden walked me to my room Tuesday night. I didn't want him to leave. But, I also knew I wasn't ready for him to stay. He gave me a quick, sweet kiss on the lips, and I felt like I could melt into a puddle right then and there.

I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I kept playing our conversation in my head over and over again. I couldn't help but smile.

Suddenly, Dr. Lewis' words popped in my head, and I frowned.

I pushed her out of my head, and thought about Aiden. I didn't want him to just be a college fling. I wanted him to be my forever.

That night, I didn't have any nightmares, just peaceful sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed and fully rested. And, best of all, I woke up thinking of Aiden. I couldn't help but smile.

“That hottie football player stopped by last night looking for you,” my roommate, Rachel, told me. She licked her lips seductively. “What I wouldn't give for a piece of that.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her. “What happened to Danny?”

“We are still dating,” she winked at me. “What Danny doesn't know won't hurt him.”

I wanted to punch her. Thankfully she left for class. I sighed in relief and fell back on my bed. Not even my bitchy roommate could ruin my perfect mood.

My phone vibrated to alert me I had a text message.

Want to hang out tonight?
It was Aiden.

I couldn't help but smile. I quickly replied
Yes :)
.

Wear comfortable shoes,
he said back.

I laughed at this text. Aiden was such a guy. The only shoes I ever wore were Converse and flip flops, and it was way too cold for flip flops. I guess he had never looked at my feet.

I quickly got ready for the day and left with just enough time to grab coffee before class.

TEN

AIDEN

Wednesday was possibly the longest day of my life. I was so excited about hanging out with Roxy, the day seemed to drag. Even football practice seemed extra long, which was weird, because football was my favorite part of the day... Or at least, it used to be. Now it was hanging out with Roxy.

Last night, after going to my dorm, I couldn't sleep, so I decided to make Roxy a flower out of paper. My sister taught me how to do it, she learned it in art class. I wasn't the most creative person in the world, but I thought it looked great. I took plain white paper and colored it with colored pencils... My roommate takes an art class, and he let me borrow them... The stem was green, and the flower was pink and white. Gary laughed at me, but said he might try making one. He said it was easier to get laid when you're
romantic,
but that was not why I did it.

I've never
asked
Roxy what her favorite color was, but I thought it was pink. Which was why I made her flower pink... Or maybe her favorite was black. She had that strip of pink in her hair, and she always wore black or pink. I decided that I would ask her tonight.

I was at Roxy's room at 7 o'clock sharp.

She opened the door, and once again, I found it hard to breathe. I think she got more beautiful every time that I saw her.

“
Hey,” she greeted me, smiling.

I handed her the paper flower. “I made this for you. I couldn't afford real flowers.” I suddenly felt embarrassed. There was no way she would like it. She deserved a guy who could afford to buy her real flowers.

“I love it. Thank you, Aiden.” I loved the sound of my name coming off her lips. Her face lit up, and I could tell that she really did like it. I wanted to make her smile like that everyday for the rest of my life.

Roxy followed me outside. I opened the passenger side door for her, and she slid in. We weren't driving very far, so my car would be fine to drive... At least, I hoped.

I watched as she turned on the radio and flipped through the stations. She found a familiar classic rock song, and then began to sing along. She put her feet up on the dashboard, getting comfortable.

Today, she was wearing her hot pink Chuck Taylor's, a pair of jeans that had a hole in them at the knee, and she was wearing a black hoodie. It was normal Roxy attire, and as always, she looked stunning.

The drive to Chewacla State Park only took about 10 minutes.

“
I hope you like hiking,” I said, as we got out of the car.”

“
I do,” she smiled. “I've heard it's beautiful here. I've never actually been before.”

“
Me either.”

As we began walking the path, I held Roxy's hand.

“Aiden?” I heard Roxy's voice.

“
Yeah?”

“
What is this?” she asked, motioning towards our hands.

For a slight moment, I felt panicked. What was I doing with her? I wasn't supposed to fall for anybody. I was supposed to come here, get my degree, get a job, and support my family. But then I looked at Roxy. She waited patiently for my answer, no pushing or forcing me. I wondered for a moment if I could change my plans to include her, and I knew I could. I didn't want to do any of this without her. I suddenly felt peaceful.

“This is me, falling for a beautiful girl.”

She smiled at my words, but then got a serious look on her face. “I'm broken, Aiden. Are you sure you want to fall for somebody like me?”

“It's already too late,” I admitted, shocked by how true my words were. “I couldn't run away if I wanted to.”

ROXY

As we walked on the path at the park, Aiden held my hand, and I felt giddy. I could truly say that I had never been this happy. He told me he was falling for me, but what did that even mean? Did he mean
love
? The thought both excited and frightened me equally.

“
What's your favorite color?” he asked randomly.

“
Pink,” I answered. I didn't even have to think. It had always been my favorite color, ever since I was a little kid. Pink was a happy color. “What about you?”

He thought for a minute before responding. “Sometimes it's green, and sometimes it's gray.”

“Gray? Really?” What an odd favorite color. Not quite black, not quite white.

“
It's the color of your eyes. Some days they're green, some gray, and right now, they're a mixture... They're like a smoky green color.” He stopped, gently touched my chin, and tilted it up so I was looking at him. “It's one of my favorite things about you. You're eyes are extremely sexy.”

Sexy? Wow, that word sounds so good coming from his lips.

Suddenly, I felt warm. It was 50 degrees outside, which was normal for October in Alabama, but I didn't think the weather was making me hot.

I looked down at the ground, feeling shy. Aiden was... well, hot. And probably very experienced. I had never even kissed a boy before him, unless you count first grade, which I didn't.

“What's the matter?” He asked.

For a moment, I thought about telling him, but quickly decided against it. “Nothing.” I sounded brave, bold even. But the truth was, at that moment, I was scared of losing him.

Aiden saw through me. “Please, Roxy, tell me.”

“
I don't feel very sexy,” I told him. “I've never actually...” I stopped myself from telling him that I was a virgin. I was too embarrassed to say the word, though I didn't know why. Lots of 19 year old's haven't had sex... Right?