You Only Love Twice (32 page)

“You think it could have been al Fareed.”

“I think it’s bigger than that.” The lines were starting to
be drawn in her head, faint at first, but getting stronger. “I need to think
about it for a while.”

She needed to think about al Fareed and The Collective.

How had he known where Jesse’s unit was going? It hadn’t
been a random IED that took them out. There had been nothing random about any
of it.

That unit was headed back in from a mission. She needed to
talk to Jesse. He was the only one left who could tell her anything.

The thought made her sick, but she had to tell Jesse the
truth. He needed to know.

“Are you all right?” Simon looked down at her. “You went
pale.”

She shook her head. “I’m good. Let’s do a quick turn through
the tea and then head up for the night. The al Fareed brothers will be in the
oil meeting hatching all sorts of nefarious plots. They won’t be at the dinner
for the poor people.”

By poor people she still meant seriously rich, but the men
who would be in the private meeting were the world’s wealthiest oilmen.

Was it also a meeting of The Collective?

She followed Simon out, her thoughts running amok. It was
like this when she was considering a puzzle. Chaotic at first. It was hard
because there was so much information and she had to sift through, to sort it
into something that made sense.

How had the senator’s aide known Ten’s middle initial?

How had al Fareed known about Kamdar’s “friends” before
Jesse had outed himself? Now that she thought about it, he’d used words that
would have a direct impact on Jesse. He’d talked about dogs and leashes, his
voice becoming sharper, as though to highlight what he was saying. As though
he’d known Jesse was somewhere listening to him.

And Ace. She couldn’t forget Ace. He was the link. He’d been
placed, but by whom? Yes, it seemed to be al Fareed on the surface, and
certainly he’d been there to do the Caliph’s bidding, but no Middle Eastern
oilman could have that much influence on the Agency.

Not without help from the inside.

She was grateful for Simon because she likely would have
gotten lost without him. She didn’t really see where she was going. She saw the
puzzle in front of her.

“Have a seat.” Simon held out the chair for her. “I’ll get
us some tea. We’ll put in an appearance and then we’ll leave. Don’t move.”

He walked toward the elegant buffet.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the whore from last night,” a low
voice said.

She looked up and there was her old friend Albertson. He was
dressed in a perfectly cut suit, his hair slicked back, and a ten thousand
dollar watch around his wrist. Still, his eyes told the tale. They were
bloodshot and tired. She started to stand because there was zero point in
arguing over his opinion of her. “I’ll excuse myself since you can’t seem to be
a gentleman.”

He reached out, catching her elbow. “I might have been a
gentleman if you and your friend hadn’t drugged me. Did you think I wouldn’t
catch that, bitch?”

“Since I did nothing of the sort, no, I didn’t think you
would. Let go of my arm.” She glared back at him. “As drunk as you were last
night, I’m surprised you remember me at all.”

His lips curled in a sneer. “You were counting on that,
weren’t you? Too bad you were working with a pro. I’ve had far more to drink
and still managed to fuck some dumb bitch and maintain my memory of the
encounter. I’m not stupid. You tried to roll me last night. Since my wallet was
in place, I have to think you’re looking for something else.”

“Hey, take your hands off her. Now.” Theo moved in, his big
shoulders encased in a suit. Despite the well-tailored look, there was no way
to mistake him for anything but muscle.

Albertson let go of her arm and stared for a moment. “Shit.
For a minute I thought you were…” His face went red and he held his hands up as
though giving in. “Hey, the lady and I were just talking. No big deal. She
needs to understand that when she plays with fire, she’s going to get burned.
But then you should know all about that.”

Theo stared at him. “Why would I know about that?”

“You’re old enough to know that a man can lose the things he
loves the most, the places he feels most comfortable in if he doesn’t know when
to back off or who to be friends with,” Albertson said pointedly.

Theo’s eyes narrowed. “Is that right? You want me to deliver
a message to my brother? Because that’s sure what it fucking sounds like.”

“I don’t even know who you’re talking about,” he replied
with a smile that belied his words. He was enjoying playing with them.

“It’s okay,” Theo promised, taking her by the elbow and
gently bringing her to his side. “You might not know who he is, but I promise
you, he knows who you are. Tell the senator hello from a lowly bodyguard. And
if you come near her again, I’ll cut your balls off and make a toy out of them
for my cat. I don’t actually own a cat, but if I have your balls dangling on a
piece of string, I’ll get one just for the pleasure of watching it bat your
boys around. Am I understood?”

Albertson took a step back, but he didn’t take his eyes off
her. She could feel him watching her as Theo walked toward Simon.

“I suppose I can order us tea for the suite.” Simon sighed
and put the cups down before walking toward the elevators.

“You sound a lot like your brother,” Phoebe told Theo as the
doors closed.

“I guess the ability to threaten a man runs in the family,”
Theo replied. “He was an asshole and he was lying. He thought I was Ian. I
talked to Ian last night. He says he doesn’t know who this guy is.”

“I don’t think he’s our problem. I am interested in his
boss, though.” The doors opened again and she heard Ten shouting.

She picked up the pace, shoving through the door that led to
their rooms.

“Listen to me.” Ten was red in the face, his boots ringing
on the marbled floors. “You don’t understand what I’m doing here.” His head
turned down and a low growl came out of his mouth. “You can’t…yes. I
understand. Yes, sir. By morning. Good-bye.”

“What was that about?” Jesse looked up from his seat next to
Hutch.

Ten locked eyes with Phoebe and she could see the beast that
was always just under his surface. She watched as he subdued it and shoved it
back down. When he spoke he was calm again, though his words were clipped, his
annoyance plain. “We’ve been recalled to DC. Hutch, shut her down. We’ve got to
be packed and ready to go. They’re sending a plane to pick us up early tomorrow
morning.” He turned back to Simon. “Agency only, man. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“What?” Phoebe shook her head, trying to wrap her mind
around the words. “Why would they call us in? Who called us in?”

“The executive director. He’s revoked my privileges. All operations
under my command now have to be approved. I’ve been demoted and if I don’t show
up in DC tomorrow, I’ll be fired.”

It was so much worse than being fired. “They threatened to
disavow you?”

He nodded sharply. “You know what that means.”

It meant that Tennessee Smith would cease to exist. He would
have no name, no passport, no home or bank accounts in the United States. He
would be a ghost.

Ten turned to Jesse. “I swear to you, I’m going to figure
out what’s going on and we’ll handle the Caliph. If I have to have the fucker
assassinated, I will. But I have to find out what’s going on first.”

“I think it’s the senator,” Phoebe said. “I think somehow
he’s working with al Fareed.”

“Proof?” Ten asked.

She shook her head. “I have a whole lot of conjecture, but I
need to know who recommended Ace. I was right about that. He couldn’t have made
it on an Agency black ops team without some serious recommendations. Who was
it?”

Hutch turned to his keyboard and his hands flew across it.
He sat back and then tried again. “What the fuck? Boss, I don’t have access to
those records. What the hell? I’ve got the security clearance. Why am I
blocked?”

She exchanged worried glances with Ten. They weren’t just
being called back. Ten’s job was on the line and he was about to have his life
picked apart by bureaucrats because he’d stepped into something none of them
understood yet. Phoebe made her own command decision. “Simon, get your wife on
the phone or better yet, get Adam. They could be watching Chelsea. Her job is
on the line, too.”

Simon snorted, an oddly elegant sound. “She doesn’t
particularly care one way or another. If the Agency fires her, she’ll just go
to work for Tag. I’ll call Adam as well. We’ll have an answer soon.”

Jesse stood up. “I’ll start looking for flights for me and
Si and Erin.”

There was something about the way he said it that made her
wary. Already, they were splitting up. Hutch and Theo were moving toward each
other, talking in low tones. Simon walked out of the room. Erin and Jesse
exchanged a glance.

“You’re not going to leave, are you?” Phoebe asked.

Jesse’s jaw went stubborn. “I don’t have to answer to the
Agency. I answer to Ian Taggart. We’ll see what he says. I suppose you’ll be on
that plane.”

What did he expect her to do? “I would think you of all
people would understand the chain of command, Jesse. I was ordered by my
superior officer to return to base.”

He stared for a moment as though he could imprint his will
on her. “You can choose. You don’t have to work for them. This isn’t Ten
telling you what to do. This is someone with an obvious agenda. They are
working against our mission.”

“Those people you’re talking about run the CIA.”

“Oh, and there’s never been corruption there. Now who’s
being naïve, Phoebe? You want to be on that plane, I don’t think I can stop
you. Erin, go talk to Kamdar. Explain what’s going on. We still need his
cooperation in order to continue.”

Erin nodded and like the good little soldier she was,
trotted off to do his bidding.

“They can’t stay,” Theo said, his eyes widening when he
realized what was going on. “They don’t have any backup. They don’t have anyone
who can help them out if they get into trouble. If they get arrested, the
government won’t do a damn thing about it. She can’t stay here.”

Phoebe kept her eyes on Jesse. “He has a point.”

Jesse shrugged. “I never expected the government to help me
out anyway. What I do have is Ian Taggart, and I assure you he won’t leave my
ass in a prison for months and months. We’re not the Agency. We don’t take our
time or wait for the right political situation. We don’t leave our men behind.”

His words hit her squarely in the gut.

He’d been left behind. In essence, she’d left them both
there, Jamie to die and Jesse to be tortured.

“We looked. Do you think we didn’t look for you?” The
question came out on a shaky breath as every one of her insecurities bubbled to
the surface. All the guilt she’d started to toss out settled over her again.

Jesse took a step toward her. “I’m talking about the
present, Phoebe. Not the past. You are so damn caught up in the past, I should
have known what you would think.”

She turned and walked away. She couldn’t have this argument
with him. Not when she was leaving and he seemed determined to destroy himself.
It struck her quite forcibly that she could lose another man she loved to that
animal because Jesse couldn’t think straight about this. He couldn’t control
himself. Last night had proven it. He needed to step back and let Ten handle
it.

Did she just think that word? Did she put that word into her
head? Love? She couldn’t love him. She couldn’t save him. Hell, she hadn’t
saved Jamie. She didn’t even deserve a chance with Jesse. She just didn’t.

“Hey, Phoebe. Stop.” Jesse followed her into the hallway.

She couldn’t face him. Her carefully constructed walls were
rotting at her feet. She was the reason Jesse was here now. If she’d been
better at her job, he would likely be back in Dallas, going on with his life.

She killed the men she loved.

Her chest was far too tight as she opened and closed the
door to the bedroom. She needed time. The lock clicked into place and she
looked down at the way her hands were shaking. She was caught. Trapped, just
like when she’d been a kid and she knew something was wrong but she couldn’t do
anything. No one wanted to hear her cry. It made things worse. She needed to
cry, but it was stuck inside. Everything was ending. She was losing Jesse and
maybe her job, and she might cost Ten his. She wanted to wail and punch and
fight and all she could do was try to drag a breath in.

“Phoebe?”

She couldn’t right now. She stayed silent. He would get the
hint. Maybe in an hour or so she would be able to face him with some hint of
dignity.

How could she walk away from him? How could she fucking not?

“Baby, I need you to step back,” Jesse said. “Do it. Now.”

The door came crashing open and there he was, rebalancing
himself after kicking the damn door in. His shoulders were squared and his jaw
formed a hard line as he stepped inside.

“What did you do?”

A stern look lit his face as he walked in and shut the door
as best he could. “I told you. No more doors between us.”

“There’s going to be a couple thousand miles between us by
tomorrow. You planning on kicking their asses, too?” He wanted to be the tough
guy? She could do that, too. She’d practically written the book on how to bury
what she was feeling deep.

So why was her every emotion simmering right under the
surface?

“Stay with me.”

She couldn’t do that. She couldn’t watch him put himself in
the Caliph’s orbit again. “Come with me.”

His eyes held a steely will as he towered over her. “Marry
me and I will.”

“What?”

He stepped forward, getting into her space. “I meant what I
said. Marry me and I’ll follow you. Marry me and I’ll quit if that’s what you
want. I’ll find another job. Hell, I’ll try college or something.”