You'll Say Yes (36 page)

"What happened today, Abby? Did it have something to do with Ryan? Did he-"

I shook my head weakly and leaned my forehead to his chest. I felt like I wanted to cry. I loved him, I missed him, but I couldn't trust him. Especially with what I saw at lunch in the hospital's parking lot. And it killed me.

"Please, dear. Tell me what's wrong. You can't let your problem to be your burden. We are together, remember? I'll always be here for you."

I took deep breaths. "I saw Natalia today."

I could feel he tensed and he leaned away from his embrace to look at my eyes. "You what?"

I looked at him expressionless. "I saw Natalia today," I repeated my words earlier.

Joshua didn't move and he clenched his jaw.

He didn't say anything and I continued, "From the hospital's parking lot."

He released his arms around my body immediately and his eyes widened. "You were...you were in the hospital?"

His shock expression worried me. Did he afraid I caught him...cheating? I swallowed hard. "No. I was in the parking lot. I went to see you, but I saw Natalia walked out from the ER," I answered flatly.

Joshua quickly composed his face. "Abby, it's not what you think."

I narrowed my eyes. "How do you know what I think? I thought you can't read me."

He blinked several times. I think I got him this time. And then he sighed and put his hands on my shoulders. "Please, let me explain..."

If I were the same Abby from seven years ago, I probably walked away from him right now. If I were the same Abby from seven years ago, I probably yelled at him right now and threw the engagement ring in front of his face. But, I was not the same Abby. I could stand on my own feet right now and I wanted to know what happened.

"Do tell!" I said sharply.

Joshua raised his eyebrows slightly when I said that. He knew better when I started to use formal language; I was not in good terms.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Can we talk about this in the living room? I want to show you something."

I nodded cautiously. "All right."

I followed him to the living room where the table still full with papers and...brochures? I furrowed my eyebrows. When I sat on the couch, I could see clearly what those papers were. I gingerly took one of the brochures and read information about getting a pediatric degree in one of the Ivy League colleges. I slowly looked at Joshua who smiled softly.

"I planned to take my degree this year either we were married or not. Natalia...she came to the hospital to give me these brochures. One of her cousins is preparing for college and she did surveys to some universities and hospitals. I asked her to take some brochures she could find and I think you saw her when she went home. That's all, Abby."

I still didn't trust him. "Why don't you tell me about this? And how did you know about Natalia's cousin?" Are they calling each other behind my back? I shivered.

He sighed. "Abby, my dad told me about Natalia and I told my dad if I could ask for her help to give me the brochures. I never spoke to her by phone. When she came to the hospital, I was in charge and she met with one of the nurses in the ER and asked her to give these brochures to me. I didn't see her. And about all of these...I want to tell you when you got home, but you seemed tired and I don't want this thing to bother you."

I slumped in the couch. Honestly, I still felt tired. I looked again to all the brochures. Harvard, Dartmouth, Boston, UCLA...all of them was in the Ivy League and mostly...it was not close to Seattle. I swallowed hard. How could I stay far away from him? It will take three or four years for Joshua to finish his intern and what will happen to our lives? Should we stay apart? I couldn't just quit my job and follow him around like a lost puppy.

"Abby? What are you thinking?" Worry etched in his tone.

I shook my head slightly. "All these places..." I looked at Joshua. "They are not close to Seattle."

Joshua's expression turned from worried to understanding. "Oh, Abby..." He pulled my body to his embrace once again.

I buried my face to his chest and inhaled his scent. I will miss that too. This was worst than breaking up.

"Abby...baby..." He said in low voice while stroking my hair. "You still can visit me on weekend or I'll come here whenever I can. Do you think I could live apart from you? You are wrong, dear. I don't like it either, but this is for our future together. I'm doing this for both of us."

I nodded slowly. I knew that. He wanted to pursue his dream and I already let go my opportunity in England. That was just a small sacrifice for our better future. Now I knew why he wanted for us to get married soon. It was easier for both of us. I could stay at his place when I visited him with no worries. I definitely didn't want to stay in this apartment alone when he was far away. Maybe I will move again to my old apartment and I didn't have to hear gossips when Joshua stayed in my place.

At this moment I knew I have to trust him. He will live far away from me and I have to trust him completely. I gulped. My heart turned erratic again. I wanted to say it now. I wanted to say the words. I raised my head slowly and looked at his eyes. He looked at me deeply and I cupped his face with my hands.

I leaned my forehead to his and said, "Let's get married."

Joshua went still; just like he did when I accepted his proposal. I made a face and looked at him. He stared at me blankly. I leaned away from him and waved my hand in front of his face. "Joshua?"

No response.

"Joshua?"

Silence.

Okay, this silent thing began to worry me. I shook his shoulders gently. "Joshua!"

He blinked several times. "Did you just say that you want to get married?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Yes, let's get married. It will be easier for both of us, right?"

He frowned. "Oh...I see."

He seemed sad about something and I knew it was because he thought I married him for things to get easier, but I did have other reason. I smiled and stroked his cheek. He looked at me with sad expression.

"I'm not finish," I said.

He looked at me curiously.

I looked at him deeply, ignoring the knot in my stomach and the fluttering heart beat in my chest. He needed to know. "It will be easier for both of us, but also it's because another reason."

He gasped.

I swallowed hard. "I love you, Joshua."

"You...you what?"

"I love you."

He looked at me in a daze when suddenly he hugged me so tight. He buried his face in my hair while I rubbed his back.

"Oh, Abby...love...do you really mean that? Do you really mean what you just said?"

I nodded. "Yes."

He released me and cupped my face. His hazel eyes were bright and I swore his face was more beautiful with happiness. He laughed shakily. "You don't know...how much I want...to hear that...from you. All those years...all these years..." He continued to rant while I just smiled. He always did that if he felt too happy or too sad.

I gave him a chaste kiss and he went silent. "I will be your wife, Joshua, just like I promised you when I was six years old."

He smiled widely and kissed me fiercely. I kissed him back automatically and clutched to his neck tighter while his arms traveled to my waist. Before I got lost in our kiss, he broke the kiss and our foreheads touched. "Where do you want to get married? In Long Beach or here?"

"Long Beach is fine and so is Seattle. Just not too extravagant." And then I remembered Stella's plan for my bridal shower. I groaned.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I sighed and grimaced. "Stella wants to have a bridal shower for me."

Joshua raised his eyebrows and laughed. "Well, that's not too bad. I probably will have a bachelor party too."

A what?

"Excuse me?"

Joshua shrugged. "I don't want to do that either, but Dr. Keller already planned it for me."

I narrowed my eyes. "Like what? Call a stripper to dance in front of you? Right!" I've heard about some bachelor parties before and I couldn't imagine if my future husband will see another woman with underwear dancing in front of him.

He chuckled. "No, I don't want that. Dr. Keller won't do that to me either. Perhaps I will endure lots of 'advices' for my wedding night," He quoted the word with his fingers.

My eyes widened and I shuddered. "You're kidding, right?"

He grimaced and I hung my head in my hands. That was worse than call a stripper. I think I changed my mind. "I prefer the call girl to dance in front of you," I mumbled.

Joshua chuckled and hugged me. "Silly Abby. I will find my way to escape. There's no one who could make me want to do things like that besides you."

I shivered and cleared my throat. Okay, back to our topic. "Um...when will you start your internship?"

"Well..." He released his hug on me and looked back to the brochures. "Every place has their own schedule, but mostly six months from now."

I nodded. "And where will you stay while you attended the exam? Dorm?"

He chuckled darkly. "Of course not. I will stay at an apartment. If I stayed in dorm, I couldn't let you spend the night with me when you came to visit me."

I blushed. Oh, I forgot about that part.

Joshua smirked and leaned to my ear. "Besides I can't spend my quality time with my wife if I stayed in dorm. I don't want them to hear us."

I blushed harder while Joshua kissed my crimson cheek. He returned to the brochures while I tried my best not to blush any further. "I will have an exam to see if I was capable or not and then if I passed, I'll apply to the hospital and then have an interview."

I raised my eyebrows. "An interview?"

He nodded. "It's just a formality."

I pursed my lips. "I see. And have you decided which university do you take?"

He sighed. "All of them are good, but I graduated from Harvard before and..." He grimaced, "It will be easier for me if I took the exam there."

Ah, the almamater thing.

"I understand. And the hospital?"

"They will agree with everything that I choose. They will pay the fees, of course."

Okay, so everything was settled. What about our...marriage?

"So..." I played with the hem of my T-shirt. "If you wanted to start your intern in six months, when is the best time for us to...uh...get married?"

"Well...perhaps three months for now. There are still times for everything." And then he looked at me. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I chuckled. "Of course." I sighed. "It's just if you will stay far away from me, I don't want to stay here. Perhaps I will move to my old apartment. You could stay in my place if you visited me."

Joshua smiled. "I understand. I will feel much better if you stay in your old place. At least John will keep an eye for you while I'm in internship."

I smiled grimly. I haven't seen John since I got sick. I hoped he was doing fine. And then Joshua held my hands and I looked at him curiously. "I've already had savings for us...to buy a house."

My eyes widened. "A...house?"

"Yes. After I finished my intern, I will return to Seattle and we will buy a house for our family. I don't think an apartment is a suitable place for us to have children."

I blinked several times. I almost forgot to talk about that. "Um...about children..." I stuttered.

"Yes?"

I instantly turned nervous. I knew how much he loved children, but I don't think living separate ways is a good thing for having a child. I was thinking to wait until he was finished. Will he mind?

"Abby?"

I sighed. "I...uh...don't think living in separate ways is a good thing for...um...our children. I want to wait until you finished your intern to have a child." I bit my lip. "Is that all right with you?" I asked in low voice.

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Of course, baby. I couldn't imagine having you pregnant alone in an apartment while I was miles away. What kind of man will I be? We will wait."

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

He pulled me to his body again and I snuggled to his embrace. He cleared his throat. "So, about the bridal shower..."

I groaned and he laughed.

~O~

We began to list the things for our wedding. The papers, the venue, the caterings, the dress, the invitations...and I already had a headache just to think about that. Joshua already suggested a not so huge hall for our reception while we will change our vows at a church. I called Stella the next day and told her about our wedding plans. She squealed happily and told me not to be worried. She said she will handle everything.

"But, what about your wedding plan with Evan?" I insisted to her when I called her. She was paying too much attention to my wedding rather than her own wedding.

"Don't worry about that. Evan and I decided to have a wedding after your wedding. So, I hope you and Joshua could be there before he must leave to Harvard."

I smiled grimly. "Yeah, me too. Thanks, Stella."

"Don't be sad, all right. It's only for couple of years, you won't feel it. Besides you are working too and you will have a new position. You will see each other on weekend or when Joshua got holidays. Don't worry."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Wait...what position?"

Stella giggled. "You'll see. Although, I can't see things before that." Her tone turned serious. "Just remember what I said, Abby. If anything happens, talk to Joshua and listen to him."

I shivered. Is there something going on between us? "Stella, you're making me worried."

"Don't be afraid, Abby. It's just...every couple who will get married, they will have some kind of...test," Her voice was faltered in the end.

I tensed. "What test?"

"It's not a big thing, though. Wedding jitters, you know. Just a thing to get to know your partner better. You will pass."

"Uh-huh."

She laughed lightly. "Just relax, Abby. I'll call again with your wedding theme and the design of your dress, all right. Say hi to Joshua for me. Bye."

"Thank you, Stella. Say hi to Evan too. Bye."

And the line went dead. I held my BlackBerry tightly.

What could Stella possibly mean?

~O~

We both called our family and told them about our plans. My parents were happy, of course, and my dad promised me to take some days off to walk me down to the altar. Joshua's parents also happy when they heard we were really going to get married. Farah already planned to talk to Stella and my mom to arrange some things and I didn't think I wanted to know about that. We returned to our work schedule and I was reminded by the book launching this weekend. I was thinking to buy a new dress; I've already wore all of my dresses that I owned. Joshua was still busy at the hospital, but he promised to attend the book launching with me. This time we will wear something semi-formal because not only just media or the workers in my place who will attend the event. My author was the first foreign author in her country who successfully published a book in America; therefore some staffs from the embassy will attend too. Well, practice makes perfect. I had to get used to this kind of event anyway.

I bought the dress on Thursday after I went home from work. It was a simple crème dress and I intended to wear it for the book launching. I put my new dress to the laundry agent and asked them to finish in one day. I picked up my dress on Friday afternoon, successfully hiding it from Joshua.

On Saturday, the day went uneventfully. Joshua and I did our routine; cleaning the apartment, doing the laundry, going to the grocery, until the afternoon came and it was time for us to change our clothes. After taking my shower, I put my new dress and I must admit...I felt beautiful. The crème color made my hair and my eyes looked brighter. I applied light make-up and did my hair until I heard Joshua knocked on my door. I opened my door to see him already wearing a dark shirt with dark coat and trousers. And, of course he looked handsome.

We rode with his black Ford to the venue. The book launching was held at the hall of a hotel in town. I was nervous because I never attended an event like this before, added to the fact that I was here with my handsome fiancé. I felt insignificant.

"Are you all right?" Joshua whispered to me when we walked to the front desk.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah..."

He chuckled lightly. "Don't be nervous. I'm here."

I rolled my eyes. "That's what I'm worried about."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean by that?"

I grimaced. "I feel insignificant compare to you."

Joshua made a face and he leaned to my ear. "Do you see a man on your three o'clock?"

I raised my eyebrows and looked over to the direction he told me. I saw a tall man with dark hair looking at us and when he met my gaze, he quickly composed his face and turned away from us nervously. I looked back at my fiancé. "That man?"

He nodded sharply and his eyes narrowed. I looked back to the man's direction. He turned away again when he met my gaze.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked.

He scoffed. "He never tore his eyes from you since you got out from the car. He wants you, Abby."

My eyes widened. "W-what?"

Joshua wrapped his arm on my waist and glared briefly to the man before we continued to walk. "He will not leave this building with his feet if he still looked at you that way," He growled.

Wow.

I swallowed hard when Joshua and I arrived at the venue. It was a big hall, not so huge, too extravagant for a book launching. I almost groaned.

"Abigail!”

I looked over to the female's voice and I instantly recognized Helena McLane, my author. She looked beautiful tonight, wearing a very fancy red dress. Her unique beauty was shown from her appearance.

I smiled and shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you again, Mrs. McLane."

She giggled. "Please, I've told you before to call me Helena." And then she looked over to Joshua. "And who is this young man?"

I cleared my throat. "Um...this is my...fiancé, Joshua Walsh." I turned to Joshua. "Joshua, this is Helena. I've worked with her before."

Joshua smiled and extended his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. McLane."

She smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Walsh." And then she seemed to be thinking. "Have we met before?"

Joshua chuckled. "I'm afraid not, Ma'am. This is the first time for me to attend a book launching with Abby in this place."

She nodded. "Oh, yes, forgive me. I probably misrecognized you with someone else. Please, enjoy the event and thank you for coming, Abigail."

I winced slightly and smiled. Helena strolled back to the center of the hall and lost between the crowds. I sighed. "Why can't they call me Abby?"

Joshua chuckled again. "Abigail is a beautiful name. Sometimes I'm curious why you don't like your first name."

I rolled my eyes. "Because my mom always called me that if she wanted to ground me. That's why I like Abby better."

He laughed lightly and we walked to the food stall to grab some foods. We sat on one of the empty tables and ate our food. Two couples were sitting in our table too and I assumed they were from the embassy because they were talking about international laws that I didn't understand. Perhaps I will learn it from one of the edited stories someday.