You're Always in the Last Place You Look (36 page)

Handing off a cup of coffee to Zane, I kissed his bare shoulder, and wrapped my arm around his waist. He nestled back against my chest while I tried to ignore the hormones proudly offering me—or rather my willie—up to Zane as if he were a God. The suckers had staged a mutiny when Zane left, but now that he was back, they were having a heyday embarrassing me as much as they could—which was pretty much all the time.

We had agreed to spend some time getting to know each other again, and I was beginning to think that had been the worst decision ever. Just the water wastage alone was staggering, not to mention the poor hot water heater moaned painfully at the end of every quick shower, appearing to be in the throes of death.

Zane pushed his butt against me, snickering when I let out a growl that rivaled Ruger’s.

“Stop it!” I warned, and his response was to do it again. I pinched his side, causing him to yelp, but the teasing continued. “God, you’re incorrigible.” I sighed, and he sputtered his amusement into his coffee.

Setting his cup on the railing, he swiveled into my arms, his playful eyes turning serious. “I have something I need to talk to you about.” The lip ring disappeared and my heart hesitated. There had been a lot of
something’s
lately as he opened the book of his life to me a page at a time. It was my first day off in over a week, and I wasn’t sure I was up for the emotional trek today, having hoped for a day of leisurely snuggling over movies since we had the house to ourselves. Smitty had headed off with his daughter again, not expected back until after dinner. However I steeled myself, nodding, as I moved back and slumped into one of the deck chairs knowing Zane needed to be able to talk when the mood struck him.

The look he returned was different though; soft and thoughtful gazed at me, rather than hesitant and wary. Turning, he leaned against one of the worn posts. “You’re truck looks good here.” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “You look good here.”

Elbows on my knees, I tilted my head, completely lost. “What are you talking about?”

“You weren’t the only thing I thought about for six weeks. Jesus. That really would have made me crazy. I thought about us, our future, together.” He turned to face me, leaning his back against the post. “This...” He latched his hands around the post above his head, allowing his jeans to dip dangerously low on his hips. All that pale skin, the slim line of dark hair—my brain derailed. “Is the future I came up with,” Zane finished.

“Huh? What?” I drug my eyes up to his face.

Zane gave me a level look. “You’re looking at the future home of Prismhouse.”

“What’s Prismhouse?”

“Someplace safe for teens, kids with nowhere else to go. I could use some help figuring out the details.” He glanced across the overgrown fields. “And some help restoring the place.”

“Hold on. You bought Smitty’s place?” I’d heard it had been for sale off an on, but no sign had ever been posted, so I assumed it was just a rumor.

“I did. And don’t call me crazy for doing it either.”

“I wasn’t...okay, maybe a little.” I stood and walked to the rail, taking in the massive job Zane had undertaken. “Do you mean like a foster home?”

“Or a shelter...I thought we could figure that out together. Although a shelter is a lot harder to get approval for than a foster home, they are desperately needed everywhere. Surprisingly Boise has a good one, but they are the closest, and have a long waiting list.”

The idea didn’t surprise me as much as the fact Zane seemed so comfortable with it. He was throwing his dreams away for me, and I should have been upset over that, but all I felt was relief, hope, warmth, and so much love for him my whole damn body zinged with it.

“You know, my dad might be willing to mentor...”

He looped his arm around my waist, pulling me close. “We talked about that, and we both agree a live in therapist would be a better idea.” He gave me a suggestive, if pointed look.

Therapist
. I rolled that over in my head, amazed at the loose fit.

“I’ve been looking, and there are some good online universities...”

I shook my head as my brain caught up. “Wait, you talked to my dad about this?”

His eyes wandered away. “Yes, I didn’t want to step on any toes if he was dead set on you going to Boise State.”

I nodded, knowing my folks didn’t give a shit what I chose to do as long as I was happy, and could make a living doing whatever it was. My head swam over the possibilities of living with Zane, building a future, all those little things that made a life...Damn, a smile worked across my face. I was so there.

My hazel eyes found his questioning blues. “Before we get to deep, you need to know something too.”

His brows knitted worriedly. “Yeah? What?”

“Mmm.” I glanced at the peeling grey paint of the porch ceiling trying to hide my amusement. “You talked to my dad, but did my mom happen to talk to you?”

Shaking his head in confusion, he asked tentatively, “About what?”

“Well, she wants a grandchild...” I leveled my eyes with his, and the grin broke free, big and bright. “One way or the other, and I don’t think she’ll let it go...”

A smirk toyed with his lips. “I’m willing to try if you are...” Toying with his tongue stud, he suggested, “We could even start
trying
today...”

I snorted a laugh. “I’ll tell her we’ll give it our best shot, and if it’s God’s will...”

That made him laugh, and my insides fluttered. My thumb wandered across his thin lips. “I really missed that laugh.”

He leaned down until our noses touched. “I missed you so much it hurt.”

Rocking onto the balls of my feet, I ran my fingers over my name scrawled permanently on his skin, stopping on the tiny bumblebee setting atop the a. “I love that bee,” I whispered reverently.

“You know he gave his life that day.”

“Noble cause.”

“I agree.” His hands slid up my sides, over my chest, his eyes rolling appreciatively as he explored the layer of new muscles bucking hay had given me.

“You know that will all turn to fat this winter with the way you cook.” My mouth watered just thinking about Zane’s cooking, or maybe it was the way he was touching me, as if he wasn’t sure but couldn’t stop if he tried. At the moment I was confident enough for both of us though. The last few days had been torture, and the need to feel him flew past desire into this tense, bone rattling need. My hands traveled down his back, and over the curve of his rump.

“I don’t care. You can keep my skinny ass warm,” he breathed.

Pushing myself against him, I watched his face flare, the specks in his eyes turn indigo. Nipping his neck, I felt his groan more than heard it. “Are you calling me fat?”

“Fuck no, perfect. God, Gabe, would you kiss me already.”

It was a plea, and I tried to tease back, but his touch had me panting for breath already. “Always me kissing y—”

His mouth crushed down on mine at the same time I shoved him against the post, wanting to feel him, all of him. Throughout my life I assumed I wasn’t whole, lacking a part of what made me a boy—a man. But Zane had showed me I was as normal as the next guy, giving me more than I had ever expected. A gift more precious than any I’d ever received—and right now all I wanted to do was rip off the bow and tear open the paper. I smiled against his mouth, as I set out to do just that.

Hands roamed aggressively over skin, reveling in the pure pleasure of finding each other again. Mouths met, teeth clashed, and bodies shuddered as we ground heedlessly against one another in our mad dash towards a shared nirvana. It wasn’t pretty, but together—damn we were beautiful.