You're Still the One (17 page)

His fingertips fluttered against her. “So was it as good?”

She answered without hesitation. “Yes.”

But that wasn't the truth. No, the truth was that it had been better.

B
RIGHT SUNLIGHT FILTERED
through the blinds on the windows on either side of Hayden's bed. He stretched then nudged a foot.

Holy hell.
Bex.

He turned his head on the pillow. She lay next to him, her dark hair framing her beautifully sculpted face. There were no dimples now, just smooth flesh, pink lips, and ink-black lashes fanned against her cheeks.

There was a small scar on her forehead—from the chicken pox she'd had when she was five. He stopped himself from touching it, from gathering her close, from making love to her again.

He pushed up and got out of the bed. Hurriedly, he grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom. His morning wood seemed far more inconvenient today, which was insane since unlike most days, he had a willing partner in his bed.

Would she be willing? Or would she wake up with precisely the same what-the-fuck freak-out that he'd just had?

He went through his morning ritual, but didn't jump in the shower. He ought to go back and wake her. Tell her that it had been a mistake.

Except he wasn't sure it had been. Even if he never spent another moment alone with her—which was unlikely given her current job and her apparent closeness with several members of his family—maybe last night was supposed to happen. One last night together. A farewell.

He knew it wasn't that. It hadn't felt remotely like a good-bye. More like a new beginning.

And what the hell was he supposed to do with that? He didn't
want
to start over with her. It had taken so long to untangle himself from her. He didn't want to be bound in her web for a single moment.

Wait a second
, a voice in the back of his head said.
You slept together. Once. It felt good, right? When you left Ribbon Ridge, you said you would put yourself first. And you deserve that. What's wrong with living in the moment? You've been doing it the past year, and it's worked out great so far.

Yeah, it had. He braced his hands on the counter and exhaled, pushing the stress from his muscles. One of the things he'd promised himself when he'd finally left Ribbon Ridge was that he'd stop overanalyzing. He'd always considered every decision he made so carefully, thinking of everyone and everything so as to make the best possible choice that would benefit the most people. Alex's death had been the wake-up call he'd needed to pull his head out of his ass.

Pushing away from the counter, he left the bathroom. Bex was up and already half dressed. She was just pulling on her skort and now grabbed her T-shirt. And just like that, she was all covered up, though her hair still looked like she'd just enjoyed a good lay.

“Hey,” he said, tamping down the awkward silence that seemed to envelop the room.

Her cheeks were faintly pink. Was she embarrassed? “Morning.”

Words failed him for a moment. What did you say to your ex the morning after a nostalgia screw? He still suspected it was more than that, but he wasn't going there. Not today. Not with her.

“I'm, uh, sorry about last night,” he said.

She winced, and he instantly felt bad.

He stepped toward her. “No, not like that. I have zero regrets.” He smiled at her. “I just hope you know that . . . well, it was one night.”

She nodded quickly. Maybe too quickly. Her feelings weren't his problem. Just like his feelings hadn't been
her
problem five years ago.

“I get it,” she said. “I had fun. I hope you did, too.”

Fun. That was probably undervaluing it, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Whatever emotions were swirling around in his slightly hungover brain were better left unexplored.

“It was great. Thank you.”

She nodded, and again the awkwardness in the room seemed a living, breathing thing. And for that he felt bad. They'd developed a good rapport the past couple of weeks. They'd become something he'd never expected—friends. But maybe that was the issue. Maybe they couldn't really do that. Maybe there would always be a lingering attraction, dormant feelings, baggage.

That was too bad because he'd always liked Bex. Love affair or not, he'd liked her. That was probably another reason why he'd taken so long to get over her.

She moved toward the door. “I need to get showered and get to work. See you later.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

She left, and he immediately turned and went back into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, intent on scrubbing away the vestiges of last night. He could still smell her, like she'd permeated every part of him. Part of him didn't want to wash that away. But it was for the best.

An hour later, he pulled into the driveway at Quail Crest. He'd called Amos French and asked for a meeting. He parked the car and got out then walked around the house to the backyard, where Amos had said Hayden could find him.

The day was bright and hot, the sky a brilliant blue. Hayden had put on his hiking boots with his shorts because flip-flops were not appropriate vineyard attire. Shorts weren't usually either, but he wasn't going to be trimming bushes or anything, just walking. Or hiking, since the elevation here was pretty steep.

Hayden caught sight of Amos's white hair over near the shed. “Amos,” he called.

Amos turned and waved. “Just you this morning?”

Hayden nodded. “I know you're looking to list the property maybe today or tomorrow, and I was hoping I could persuade you to hold off.”

Amos was holding a baseball cap and put it back on his head. It was black and orange. Hayden grinned. “You're a Beaver.”

“Hell yes. You?”

“Hell yes.”

They both laughed, and Amos gestured for Hayden to follow him. “Walk with me.”

They strolled into the vineyard. “These are my oldest vines,” Amos said. “Is it funny that I'll miss them?”

“Not at all.” In France, the vines were precious. Like family, almost. And why not? You invested your time, your energy, your heart and soul in an operation like this. It was much more than a garden. With a vineyard, you were cultivating something lasting, something strangers could enjoy and fall in love with. There was a poetry in it. Or maybe Hayden was just a hopeless romantic. He'd been called that before. By Bex.

Amos looked over at him, squinting. “Why do you need more time? You guys struggling to get the money together? I would've thought you could buy this on your own, what with your name.”

Yes, the Archer name was synonymous with real estate and wealth. “I probably could, but I'm only buying a quarter. It's not the money.” Jamie and Cameron were ready to sign. Luke was nearly there. Like Hayden, there was something holding him back from committing, but he wasn't saying what it was. Hayden wondered if there was a woman, but Luke hadn't said a word. For all they knew, he was as romantically untethered as he'd always been.

Amos stopped and pivoted toward him. “Then what is it?”

Hayden looked out over the valley, at Ribbon Ridge below. He'd lived here his whole life. The past year felt like some sort of dream—both because he'd been doing what he'd always wanted to do and because he'd been away from his family, his home. It was as if he'd been living in a bubble. A great bubble, but bubbles didn't last.

“I don't know if I'm ready to come back,” he said finally, turning his head to look at Amos. “I've been pretty happy on my own the past year.”

Amos nodded, his gaze knowing. “Spreading your wings.”

“Exactly.”

“You know, you can do that here.”

Hayden opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again. He could . . . Just leaving Archer had been a huge step, and no matter what he did, he wasn't going back to that.

“I can, but maybe it feels like a regression?”

“Only in your head, I think. Families do a number on us—good and bad. I grew up with eight brothers and sisters.”

“Wow, that's more than me.”

Amos chuckled. “And none of us were twins or anything—there's quite an age range. My oldest brothers are gone now.” He looked out over the distance for a second then glanced at Hayden. “I know you lost one, too.”

They fell silent. Hayden succumbed to thoughts of Alex and that damned letter he'd read last night. The letter that had led him to Bex. He'd done a good job of banishing it from his mind, instead focusing on the Bex complication and now this. What would Alex tell him to do? he wondered. He realized he had no idea. He thought he'd come to know Alex better than anyone, that they'd developed this close bond. What a load of shit. He'd been no closer to Alex than to any of his other siblings.

Hayden jerked his mind back to the present. Alex didn't deserve his time. “Maybe I should know this, but are you from Ribbon Ridge?”

Amos shook his head. “No. I lived in Forest Grove until I retired and bought this place. I worked for Intel back in the eighties, retired early.” He waggled his brows at Hayden and gave him a sly smile.

Hayden laughed. “Well played, sir. Was your family close?”

“We were, but we spread out. A few of us are around here—close enough to spend holidays and whatnot together. But my closest brother—we were only eighteen months apart—lives in Florida. We haven't lived in the same state in fifty years, and yet we're still thick as thieves. Home and family are a state of mind. Geography's got nothing to do with it.”

Hayden's confusion must've reflected on his face because Amos clarified. “What I'm trying to say is that regardless of where you go, family's family. If there's something causing you trouble, it's going to be trouble no matter where you are.”

Hayden began to understand. “You're telling me that I shouldn't let my family influence my decision.”

“Or whatever it is. I used family as an example because that's something we have in common.” He cocked his head to the side. “You said it felt like a regression. Why? Answer that and maybe you can figure things out.”

Why
was
it a step back? Because he'd moved forward, pursued his dream, left his younger self behind. The things that were here now—his family business, his family, The Alex, Bex—were all the things he'd moved on from. But Amos was right. If the next step in his journey was to start this winery, the geography didn't matter. So what if it was Ribbon Ridge?

Because it would be complicated. He'd be the extra Archer again, the afterthought. And then there was Bex, who shouldn't have been a problem, but after last night, he had to think extra hard about it.

Amos started walking again. “Looks like you've got a lot to think about.”

What had Hayden told himself that morning? That he overanalyzed everything? Screw it. He wanted this vineyard, and he
did
miss Ribbon Ridge. He'd figure the rest out. Or move up here into this house and ignore everybody except his business partners.

He took long steps to catch up with Amos. “We'll buy it. Don't list the property.”

Amos stopped and turned. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Do you want me to give you an earnest-money deposit right now?”

He laughed. “Once you make up your mind, you're ready to go, aren't you?”

Hayden smiled. “I'm trying to be.” He just had to make sure Luke was in, and if he wasn't . . . well, they could find another vineyard manager. But no, he'd talk Luke into it. If he could commit, so could Luke.

Amos offered his hand to Hayden. “All right then. Have to say that I'm happy to see it go to you guys.”

Hayden shook his hand firmly. He still felt a grain of uncertainty, but attributed it to his family issues and Bex. Starting this winery filled him with nothing but excitement and joy.

Maybe if he focused on that, it would spread to the rest of his life, too.

H
UNGRY FOR LUNCH
, Bex drove into Ribbon Ridge. Today was one of her two nonbrewing days this week so she was taking advantage of the opportunity to leave the brewhouse. It was much easier to wallow in her humiliation and disappointment away from The Alex and its hive of Archers, who only reminded her of what a moron she was for thinking she could rekindle something with Hayden.

She drove past The Arch and Vine.
Yeah, not going there either
, she thought.

Instead, she turned up Second and parked on the street. She got out and locked her truck then walked toward the little Mexican restaurant with the best salsa she'd ever had. Muy Loco was a Ribbon Ridge treasure even if it looked like a dive.

As she neared the door, her phone chimed. She pulled it out and read the text.

Emily: I'm so sorry, but the apartment isn't going to be ready tomorrow as planned. The flooring was supposed to arrive today, but there was a problem and it's going to be another week. You know you can stay with us as long as you like!

Her shoulders slumped. She'd been hoping that her nights sleeping down the hall from Hayden were numbered. Damn it. As soon as she ordered lunch, she planned to scour Craig's List for any rental in a thirty-mile radius.

She stepped into the cool, dim interior of the restaurant and froze. The place was tiny, with maybe ten or twelve tables. Seated toward the back at a rectangular table were Sean, Derek, Aubrey, and Alaina. They weren't technically Archers—well, she supposed Alaina was by name at least—but they were close enough.

And they'd already seen her, which meant she couldn't turn around and escape.

Alaina waved from the bench seat attached to the wall. “Hey, Bex. Come sit with us!”

Bex had no choice but to walk over. Maybe she could just order takeout.

Derek jumped up and grabbed a chair. He brought it to the end of the table between him and Alaina. “Here.” He held the chair for her.

“I was going to get something to go,” Bex said weakly. “I have work . . . ”

Aubrey, who sat on the bench beside Alaina, smiled at her. “Oh come on, sit. You can spare a few minutes, right?”

Bex looked at the four people and wondered how they'd come to have lunch here together. That at least had to be a good story. And she could use a distraction. “Sure.” She sat down in the chair, and Derek scooted her in. “What are you all doing here?

They exchanged glances and smiled. Aubrey laughed. “Would you believe we're a club?”

Bex hung her purse over the back of her chair. “Uh . . . ” She couldn't think what kind. They weren't Archer spouses or SOs. Some of them were, but that didn't account for Derek. Plus, they'd be missing Dylan and Maggie. But then they were both crazy busy up at The Alex. “What sort of club?”

“I guess our official name is the Only Child Club,” Sean said.

The server arrived with a large tray bearing their lunches. She made eye contact with Bex and smiled. “Can I get you something?”

Bex still wasn't sure she was in the mood to hang out, but she was starving. She'd at least order, and if she wanted to leave, she'd ask for a box. “Yes, I'd like a chicken tostada salad, pinto beans, please. And I'm good with water.”

The server distributed the plates. “You got it. You all be careful, plates are hot.” She disappeared into the kitchen.

Bex looked around the table. Yes, they were all only children, including her. “Is that why you invited me to join you? Because I'm an only child, too?”

Alaina cut a piece from her enchilada. “Actually, I was just being nice, but yeah, you could totally join.”

Bex surveyed the group again and frowned. “I hate to break it to you, but there's a key component missing here. I'm not married to an Archer.” She looked at Aubrey. “Or engaged to one.”

Derek shrugged. “I'm not either.” He flashed her a grin as he picked up a taco.

“Ha ha.” But Bex smiled anyway. Okay, this was actually making her feel a little bit better.

The server briefly returned with Bex's water and a napkin-rolled set of knife and fork.

“But you were almost married to an Archer, right?” Aubrey asked.

And there went her escalating mood right back into the drain. “Not really.”

Aubrey winced. “My bad. Sorry.”

Alaina looked at Bex, her gaze lingering. Then she went back to attacking her enchilada like only a pregnant woman could. Bex picked up her napkin-wrapped utensils and pulled them apart. As she laid the napkin in her lap, she let her fingertips slide over her belly, thinking fleetingly of the baby she'd lost.

She didn't want to go down that path. Not today when she was feeling emotionally vulnerable thanks to last night's catastrophe. And not in front of these people. So she changed the subject. “How'd this club start?”

Sean and Alaina exchanged looks. “It's kind of funny, I guess,” Sean said. “Alaina and I have been friends for a while. We met in LA.”

Alaina sipped her water. “Sean's the reason I came to Ribbon Ridge. I needed a place to hide out, and he offered up the Archers' garage apartment. I met Evan when I set off the fire alarm.”

Again, Bex couldn't resist a smile. “You did what?”

“I tried to cook bacon. Luckily, Evan came to my rescue.” The love in her gaze was almost palpable. Bex's heart twisted.

Sean swallowed a bite of his lunch and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Anyway, we were having lunch one time—this was after Alaina and Evan got engaged—and Derek happened upon us. Just like you did today. We'd been talking about how to navigate this huge family when we were both only children.”

Derek drank from a bottle of Dos Equis. “So I offered to be their guide.”

“How helpful of you.” Bex narrowed her eyes at him. “Where was this club when I was living in town?”

“It was different then.” He arched a brow at her, and his mouth curved up. “There was a much smaller number of Archers.”

She rolled her eyes. “I see. For the record, that's a lame excuse.”

Aubrey shared a sympathetic glance with Bex. “Totally.”

The server brought Bex's lunch then looked around the table. “How is everything?” Everyone offered positive comments, and the server left.

Bex picked up her fork. “That's it? That's how the club started?”

Sean nodded. “Pretty much. When Liam and Aubrey got engaged, we invited her to join us. We meet every few weeks.”

“Yeah, see, I can't join.” She displayed her unadorned left hand to the group. “Not engaged.”

“Well, you can be our special guest today,” Aubrey said. “You have a lot of experience with the family that might be useful.”

Alaina polished off the last of her enchilada and started in on her chile relleno. “Especially with Hayden. I don't know him very well.”

Bex ate a bite of salad, glad that she couldn't respond immediately. Or maybe she could avoid responding altogether. She wasn't sure she knew him anymore either. His aloofness this morning had been a shock. She hadn't expected him to fall to his knees and profess his undying love, but she'd hoped for something more than just a one-night stand.

“Derek knows him better than I do,” Bex said after she swallowed. “You guys worked closely together at Archer for a long time.”

Derek nodded. “That's true. He was COO to my CFO for four years. He and Alex and I were sort of the three musketeers for a while.” Derek looked down at his plate briefly. “Now it's just me. I miss them.” He smiled sadly.

Alaina reached across the table and touched his hand. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to open up a can of worms.”

“It's fine,” Derek said. “It's not like we can't talk about Alex. It was hard at first, but it's become a lot easier. It helps to have this amazing legacy about to open.”

“I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to know him,” Sean said.

Alaina withdrew her hand to her lap. “Me too. You knew him, right, Bex?”

“I did.” He'd had a very dry sense of humor, and he was wicked smart. And attractive, despite his illness. He was thin and always seemed to look a bit sickly next to his healthier brothers. She knew that bothered him and that it bothered the others that he looked physically different. She didn't really want to talk about her time with the Archers. At least not today. “Aubrey, you got to know him well, I imagine.”

Aubrey washed down a bite of her chimichanga with a drink of water. “Yes. He hired me to set up his trust. He told me his life expectancy wasn't great, and he just wanted to be prepared.” She shifted on the bench, and Bex sensed her discomfort.

Bex wanted to hug everyone at the table. “His suicide was just as shocking to you then as to everyone else.” She'd been devastated when she'd heard. For herself and the relationship she'd had with Alex, but mostly for the Archers, for Hayden. She'd called him and left a voicemail, but he'd never returned her call. She'd taken that as a clear message that their relationship—even as friends—was completely gone. Knowing what she knew now, that he'd been hung up on her, she realized that her call might have just complicated his grief. He was despondent, and here was his ex calling and dredging up old feelings. No wonder he hadn't called her back.

Aubrey exhaled. “It was. The whole thing was an ugly mess. Last year was tough for the whole family.”

Sean shook his head sadly. “Almost broke up my marriage. Tori was a wreck.”

Bex thought of Tori and how she'd been less visible on social media last year. Despite that, Bex hadn't picked up on the depth of Tori's emotions. Now she felt like a terrible friend. “Is that right?”

“Yeah, but we pulled through.” Sean smiled. “It's all good now.”

Derek lifted his beer bottle. “To everything on the up-and-up. This year is like a total flip what with all the weddings and a baby.” He grinned at Alaina.

They all joined in the toast and drank. The conversation continued and when the bill came, Derek picked up the tab. Bex protested, but he said it was his turn to pay for lunch.

“But I'm not even in the club,” she said.

“Doesn't matter.” He looked around at the other three. “Does it?”

“Not to me,” Alaina said. “I think almost married to an Archer counts for sure.” She winked at Bex. “I need to use the restroom. Don't wait for me.” She waved before taking off to the back of the restaurant.

Aubrey smiled at Bex as she stood up from the table. “I'm glad you could join us today. I'll let you know when we meet next. Us only children have to stick together. Plus, you and I have some crazy parent stories to swap, I think.”

Bex had enjoyed lunch, and was glad for the pick-me-up. She'd needed it. “Definitely. Thanks.”

Derek touched her arm. “See you, Bex.”

Sean kissed her cheek. “Bye.” She looked at him, surprised. He laughed. “I'm from Europe. We do that. Also in Hollywood.” He chuckled on his way out.

Bex didn't leave with them. She wanted to get a giant Diet Coke to take back to work with her. She flagged the server and put in an order for a to-go cup.

While she was waiting, Alaina came from the bathroom. It was still a bit strange to see this mega movie star in such an everyday place. But why should it be? Alaina was just a person. A super famous person. Her dark blonde hair was pulled back from her face, and she wore very little makeup.

She smiled at Bex. “I said you didn't have to wait, but I'm glad you did.”

The server came back with Bex's drink. Bex tried to pay her, but the server only smiled. “Pay for it next time.”

“Thanks, I will. With tip!” Bex sipped her drink as she turned with Alaina toward the door.

“You headed back to work?” Alaina asked.

“Yes. I need to check the gravity in the tanks this afternoon and prep for tomorrow's brew cycle.”

Alaina sighed. “I miss beer. Rob's making me a small batch of nonalcoholic.”

“Aw, that's so nice. And so Rob.”

Alaina pushed open the door, and they stepped out into the heat of the afternoon. “You know him pretty well?”

“I interned with him for six months after college, so we worked together. Plus, I was with Hayden for three years.”

Alaina pivoted, and they stood beneath the overhang of the building in the relative cool of the shade. “That's a long time. What happened? If you don't mind my asking.”

“I don't mind. It's just . . . It was a long time ago.” And she'd been thinking about it more lately than in the previous five years. “We were really young.”

“College, right?”

“Pretty much.”

“I worked with a writer in my early twenties who said young love was the deepest. Granted, that was the point of that particular film, but I think he meant that emotions are maybe rawer when we're young.”

Bex agreed with that. Except her emotions felt even more vulnerable now. She sensed something wrong with Hayden, something she wanted to help with, but couldn't. Because they weren't a couple, and they never would be.

“Is it awkward being back here together?” Alaina asked. “You guys seem to get along great. Very adult of you.”

Bex laughed. “Yeah, right. It's a bit weird sometimes.” Like when you wake up in bed together and realize it had been a mistake. “But we're managing.”

“That's good, especially since you're living in the same house right now.”

Crap, Bex still needed to peruse Craig's List. She was doing that first thing when she got back to the brewhouse.

Alaina's gaze softened. “I hope you'll join our group. I like you—you're cool. It sucks that you aren't going to be an Archer. Sure we can't fix that?”

Bex tried not to be flattered that Alaina Pierce—Archer, whatever—said she was cool and failed miserably. But her question gave Bex pause, and not just because of her now-complicated relationship with Hayden. As much as she loved the Archers, she'd found them overwhelming when they were all together. That hadn't happened very often when she'd lived here, but now it was the norm. She
was
an only child. Of parents who didn't give a rat's ass what she was doing. She was quite used to being on her own and answering to no one. Having a family meant having responsibilities that she wasn't used to and wasn't sure she could handle.