You're Teaching My Child What? (35 page)
Read You're Teaching My Child What? Online
Authors: Miriam Grossman
68
Ron de Graaf et al, “Suicidality and Sexual Orientation: Differences Between Men and Women in a General Population-Based Sample From The Netherlands,”
Archives of Sexual Behavior
35, no. 3 (June 2006): 253â62
;
Theo G. M. Sandfort, “Same-Sex Sexual Behavior and Psychiatric Disorders,”
Arch Gen Psychiatry
58 (2001): 85â91.
Ron de Graaf et al, “Suicidality and Sexual Orientation: Differences Between Men and Women in a General Population-Based Sample From The Netherlands,”
Archives of Sexual Behavior
35, no. 3 (June 2006): 253â62
;
Theo G. M. Sandfort, “Same-Sex Sexual Behavior and Psychiatric Disorders,”
Arch Gen Psychiatry
58 (2001): 85â91.
70
Unless you're a girl who is exclusively with girlsâin that case the risk of STDs is very low, and HIV virtually impossible.
Unless you're a girl who is exclusively with girlsâin that case the risk of STDs is very low, and HIV virtually impossible.
71
Esther Drill et al,
Deal With It!
, 162; and Don Romesburg,
Young Gay & Proud
(Alyson Books, 1995), 76 (book suggested by Sex etc from Rutgers).
Esther Drill et al,
Deal With It!
, 162; and Don Romesburg,
Young Gay & Proud
(Alyson Books, 1995), 76 (book suggested by Sex etc from Rutgers).
75
“The pillâwhere do I get it and do my parents have to know?” GoAskAlice!,
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1703.html
; “Parental Consent for Abortion?” GoAskAlice!,
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2060.html
.
“The pillâwhere do I get it and do my parents have to know?” GoAskAlice!,
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1703.html
; “Parental Consent for Abortion?” GoAskAlice!,
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2060.html
.
78
Dennis Prager, “College taught her not to be a heterosexual,” Town-Hall. com, April 19, 2005.
Dennis Prager, “College taught her not to be a heterosexual,” Town-Hall. com, April 19, 2005.
79
Lisa M. Diamond, “What Does Sexual Orientation Orient? A Biobehavioral Model Distinguishing Romantic Love and Sexual Desire,”
Psychological Review
110, no. 1 (2003): 173â92.
Lisa M. Diamond, “What Does Sexual Orientation Orient? A Biobehavioral Model Distinguishing Romantic Love and Sexual Desire,”
Psychological Review
110, no. 1 (2003): 173â92.
80
Lisa M. Diamond,
Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire
(MA: Harvard University Press, 2008).
Lisa M. Diamond,
Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire
(MA: Harvard University Press, 2008).
81
These women were non-heterosexual, but declined to attach a label to their sexual identity.
These women were non-heterosexual, but declined to attach a label to their sexual identity.
83
Ibid., 82.
Ibid., 82.
84
Lisa M. Diamond, “Development of Sexual Orientation Among Adolescent and Young Adult Women,”
Developmental Psychology
34, no.5 (1998): 1085.
Lisa M. Diamond, “Development of Sexual Orientation Among Adolescent and Young Adult Women,”
Developmental Psychology
34, no.5 (1998): 1085.
85
Pagan Kennedy, “Q&A with Lisa Diamond: A scholar finds women's sexual orientation to be surprisingly fluid,”
The Boston Globe
, December 30, 2007.
Pagan Kennedy, “Q&A with Lisa Diamond: A scholar finds women's sexual orientation to be surprisingly fluid,”
The Boston Globe
, December 30, 2007.
86
Lisa M. Diamond, “Female Bisexuality from Adolescence to Adulthood: Results From a 10-Year Longitudinal Study,”
Developmental Psychology
44, no. 1 (2008): 5.
Lisa M. Diamond, “Female Bisexuality from Adolescence to Adulthood: Results From a 10-Year Longitudinal Study,”
Developmental Psychology
44, no. 1 (2008): 5.
88
Ibid., 83, 105.
Ibid., 83, 105.
89
An earlier study of 7,000 lesbians revealed 77.3 percent had a history of one or more male partners. [Allison L Diamant et al, “Lesbians' Sexual History with Men,”
Archives of Internal Medicine
159 (December 1999)].
An earlier study of 7,000 lesbians revealed 77.3 percent had a history of one or more male partners. [Allison L Diamant et al, “Lesbians' Sexual History with Men,”
Archives of Internal Medicine
159 (December 1999)].
92
E. O. Laumann et al,
The social organization of sexuality: Sexual practices in the United States
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994), 309.
E. O. Laumann et al,
The social organization of sexuality: Sexual practices in the United States
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994), 309.
93
The question of “What does it mean?”âin other words what does a particular sex act signify and communicateâis centrally important to the female sexual experience, before, during, and after. For men, in contrast, the different possible meanings matter less, and sex might often be a perfectly fine experience even if it hardly means anything at all.” (R. F. Baumeister, “Gender Differences in Erotic Plasticity: The Female Sex Drive as Socially Flexible and Responsive,”
Psychological Bulletin
126, no. 3 (2000): 371)
The question of “What does it mean?”âin other words what does a particular sex act signify and communicateâis centrally important to the female sexual experience, before, during, and after. For men, in contrast, the different possible meanings matter less, and sex might often be a perfectly fine experience even if it hardly means anything at all.” (R. F. Baumeister, “Gender Differences in Erotic Plasticity: The Female Sex Drive as Socially Flexible and Responsive,”
Psychological Bulletin
126, no. 3 (2000): 371)
95
This might be correct when it comes to boys, but we know that boys and girls are different. And the scientific evidence backs that up. In 2000, the eminent psychologist Roy F. Baumeister wrote a scholarly review of the subject, using data from nearly 200 references to support his proposal that the female sex drive is “more malleable” than the male. From his conclusion: “The relatively low plasticity of the male sex drive suggests that biochemical factors such as hormones, age, general health, and genetic predispositions may often be the driving forces.... For women, in contrast, sex is driven by sociocultural factors, interpretations, context, expectations, and the like.”
This might be correct when it comes to boys, but we know that boys and girls are different. And the scientific evidence backs that up. In 2000, the eminent psychologist Roy F. Baumeister wrote a scholarly review of the subject, using data from nearly 200 references to support his proposal that the female sex drive is “more malleable” than the male. From his conclusion: “The relatively low plasticity of the male sex drive suggests that biochemical factors such as hormones, age, general health, and genetic predispositions may often be the driving forces.... For women, in contrast, sex is driven by sociocultural factors, interpretations, context, expectations, and the like.”
Meredith L. Chivers is an eminent psychologist and research fellow at the Canadian Institutes of Health (Canada's NIH?). She also sits on the Board of Directors,
Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIEC-CAN) â
Canada's SIECUS. She was awarded $100,000 to study female sexual arousal. She reported in 2004 that “Female sexuality, in general, may be more motivated by extrinsic factors, such as the desire to initiate or maintain a romantic than by intrinsic factors, such as genital sexual arousal. Also, “a self identified heterosexual woman would be mistaken to question her sexual identity because she became aroused watching female-female erotica; most heterosexual women experience such arousal.” For girls, research indicates that over time, their emotional and physical attraction will be liable to shift, depending on the nature and context of relationships, and that it is more likely to shift toward heterosexuality.
Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIEC-CAN) â
Canada's SIECUS. She was awarded $100,000 to study female sexual arousal. She reported in 2004 that “Female sexuality, in general, may be more motivated by extrinsic factors, such as the desire to initiate or maintain a romantic than by intrinsic factors, such as genital sexual arousal. Also, “a self identified heterosexual woman would be mistaken to question her sexual identity because she became aroused watching female-female erotica; most heterosexual women experience such arousal.” For girls, research indicates that over time, their emotional and physical attraction will be liable to shift, depending on the nature and context of relationships, and that it is more likely to shift toward heterosexuality.
96
Victoria A. Veter, “The Role of Friendship in the Development and Maintenance of Lesbian Love Relationships,”
Journal of Homosexuality
8, no.2 (1982): 51.
Victoria A. Veter, “The Role of Friendship in the Development and Maintenance of Lesbian Love Relationships,”
Journal of Homosexuality
8, no.2 (1982): 51.
98
According to teenwire, sexual orientation “
may change
over the course of a lifetime.” SIECUS explains in a newsletter for parents: the understanding and identification of one's sexual orientation
may change
over the course of a lifetime. But elsewhere SIECUS declares: sexual orientation
cannot be changed
, a view shared by AFY: “. . . like right or left handedness . . . sexual orientation cannot be changed.”
According to teenwire, sexual orientation “
may change
over the course of a lifetime.” SIECUS explains in a newsletter for parents: the understanding and identification of one's sexual orientation
may change
over the course of a lifetime. But elsewhere SIECUS declares: sexual orientation
cannot be changed
, a view shared by AFY: “. . . like right or left handedness . . . sexual orientation cannot be changed.”
99
Pagan Kennedy, “Q&A with Lisa Diamond: A scholar finds women's sexual orientation to be surprisingly fluid.”
Pagan Kennedy, “Q&A with Lisa Diamond: A scholar finds women's sexual orientation to be surprisingly fluid.”
100
Commonly called reparative therapy.
Commonly called reparative therapy.
101
Dr. Spitzer spearheaded the effort to have homosexuality officially removed from the APA's list of mental disorders, which was accomplished in 1973.
Dr. Spitzer spearheaded the effort to have homosexuality officially removed from the APA's list of mental disorders, which was accomplished in 1973.
102
Robert L. Spitzer, “Can Some Gay Men and Lesbians Change Their Sexual Orientation? 200 Participants Reporting a Change from Homosexual to Heterosexual Orientation,”
Archives of Sexual Behavior
32, no. 5 (October 2003), 403â17.
Robert L. Spitzer, “Can Some Gay Men and Lesbians Change Their Sexual Orientation? 200 Participants Reporting a Change from Homosexual to Heterosexual Orientation,”
Archives of Sexual Behavior
32, no. 5 (October 2003), 403â17.
105
Not a sex ed site, but frequently referred to by sex educators' sites.
Not a sex ed site, but frequently referred to by sex educators' sites.
106
“How Can I Get My Parents to Understand That I Can't Change My Sexual Orientation?”
www.hrc.org/issues/4121.htm
.
“How Can I Get My Parents to Understand That I Can't Change My Sexual Orientation?”
www.hrc.org/issues/4121.htm
.
108
Lydia Malmedie, “Gay journalist claims to be straight,” July 3, 2007,
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-4837.html
; “Michael Glatze Falls Prey to Ex-Gay Indoctrination,”
gayrepublic.org/print.php?sid=1488&lead=1
â4k; Gay City News,
gaycitynews.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18576571&BRD=2729&PAG=461&dept_id=568864&rfi=6
â53k; “ âEx-Gay' Editor Still Talking,”
http://www.queerty.com/ex-gay-editor-still-talking-20070712/
; “Gay Activist Leaves Homosexuality,”
http://www.gay.eu/article/10371//Gay_activist_leaves_homosexuality
.
Lydia Malmedie, “Gay journalist claims to be straight,” July 3, 2007,
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-4837.html
; “Michael Glatze Falls Prey to Ex-Gay Indoctrination,”
gayrepublic.org/print.php?sid=1488&lead=1
â4k; Gay City News,
gaycitynews.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18576571&BRD=2729&PAG=461&dept_id=568864&rfi=6
â53k; “ âEx-Gay' Editor Still Talking,”
http://www.queerty.com/ex-gay-editor-still-talking-20070712/
; “Gay Activist Leaves Homosexuality,”
http://www.gay.eu/article/10371//Gay_activist_leaves_homosexuality
.
109
E. O. Laumann, J. H. Gagnon, R. T. Michael, and F. Michaels,
The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994).
E. O. Laumann, J. H. Gagnon, R. T. Michael, and F. Michaels,
The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994).
110
Robert Garofalo, R. Cameron Wolf, Shari Kessel, Judith Palfrey, and Robert H. DuRant, “The Association between Health Risk Behaviors and Sexual Orientation among a School-Based Sample of Adolescents,”
Pediatrics
101, no.5 (May 1998): 895â902; Milton Wainberg et al,
Crystal Meth and Men Who Have Sex with Men: What Mental Health Care Professionals Need to Know
(New York: Haworth Medical Press, 2006); Perry Halkitis, Leo Wilton, and Jack Drescher, eds.,
Barebacking: Psychosocial and Public Health Approaches
(New York: Haworth Medical Press, 2005); Sean Esteban McCabe et al, “Assessment of Difference in Dimensions of Sexual Orientation: Implications for Substance Use Research in a College-Age Population,”
Journal of Studies on Alcohol
66 (2005): 602â29.
Robert Garofalo, R. Cameron Wolf, Shari Kessel, Judith Palfrey, and Robert H. DuRant, “The Association between Health Risk Behaviors and Sexual Orientation among a School-Based Sample of Adolescents,”
Pediatrics
101, no.5 (May 1998): 895â902; Milton Wainberg et al,
Crystal Meth and Men Who Have Sex with Men: What Mental Health Care Professionals Need to Know
(New York: Haworth Medical Press, 2006); Perry Halkitis, Leo Wilton, and Jack Drescher, eds.,
Barebacking: Psychosocial and Public Health Approaches
(New York: Haworth Medical Press, 2005); Sean Esteban McCabe et al, “Assessment of Difference in Dimensions of Sexual Orientation: Implications for Substance Use Research in a College-Age Population,”
Journal of Studies on Alcohol
66 (2005): 602â29.
111
Centers for Disease Control, “Trends in HIV/AIDS Diagnoses among men who have sex with menâ33 States, 2001-2006,”
MMWR
Weekly 57, no. 25 (June 2008): 681â86.
Centers for Disease Control, “Trends in HIV/AIDS Diagnoses among men who have sex with menâ33 States, 2001-2006,”
MMWR
Weekly 57, no. 25 (June 2008): 681â86.
113
Rogers H. Wright and Nicholas A. Cummings, op cit., xv.
Rogers H. Wright and Nicholas A. Cummings, op cit., xv.
Chapter 7
2
From a book recommended to teens: “a system of dividing people into one of two impossible-to-live-up-to standards: male or female,” Kate Bornstein,
My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely
(New York: Routledge, 1997), 25.
From a book recommended to teens: “a system of dividing people into one of two impossible-to-live-up-to standards: male or female,” Kate Bornstein,
My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely
(New York: Routledge, 1997), 25.
3
He defined the word's new meaning as “the overall degree of masculinity and/or femininity that is privately experienced and publicly manifested . . . and that usually though not invariably correlates with the anatomy of the organs of reproduction.” John Money,
Gendermaps: Social Constructionism, Feminism, and Sexosophical History
(New York: Continuum International Publishing Group, 1995), 19.
He defined the word's new meaning as “the overall degree of masculinity and/or femininity that is privately experienced and publicly manifested . . . and that usually though not invariably correlates with the anatomy of the organs of reproduction.” John Money,
Gendermaps: Social Constructionism, Feminism, and Sexosophical History
(New York: Continuum International Publishing Group, 1995), 19.
4
Ibid., 52.
Ibid., 52.
5
Money gave the example of pedophilia, which is usually seen as child molestation, a crime, and is “never called âa love-affair between an age-discrepant couple,' which it sometimes is.” Marsha Pomerantz, “Sexual Congress,”
Jerusalem Post
, June 24, 1981, 6; and Theo Sandfort,
Boys on Their Contacts with Men: A study of Sexually Expressed Friendships
(New York: Global Academic Publishers, 1987), 5â7.
Money gave the example of pedophilia, which is usually seen as child molestation, a crime, and is “never called âa love-affair between an age-discrepant couple,' which it sometimes is.” Marsha Pomerantz, “Sexual Congress,”
Jerusalem Post
, June 24, 1981, 6; and Theo Sandfort,
Boys on Their Contacts with Men: A study of Sexually Expressed Friendships
(New York: Global Academic Publishers, 1987), 5â7.
6
“If I were to see the case of a boy aged ten or eleven who's intensely erotically attracted toward a man in his twenties or thirties, if the relationship is totally mutual, and the bonding is genuinely totally mutual . . . then I would not call it pathological in any way.”
“If I were to see the case of a boy aged ten or eleven who's intensely erotically attracted toward a man in his twenties or thirties, if the relationship is totally mutual, and the bonding is genuinely totally mutual . . . then I would not call it pathological in any way.”
7
“A childhood sexual experience, such as being the partner of a relative or of an older person, need not necessarily affect the child adversely.”
“A childhood sexual experience, such as being the partner of a relative or of an older person, need not necessarily affect the child adversely.”
8
John Colapinto,
As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who was Raised as a Girl
(New York: HarperCollins, 2000), 26â27.
John Colapinto,
As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who was Raised as a Girl
(New York: HarperCollins, 2000), 26â27.
9
As well as other intersex conditions.
As well as other intersex conditions.
10
Christine Gorman, “A Boy Without a Penis,”
TIME
magazine, March 24, 1997; Peggy T. Cohen-Kettenis, “As Nature Made Him: The boy who was raised as a girl,” book review in
The New England Journal of Medicine
342, no.19: 1457â8.
Christine Gorman, “A Boy Without a Penis,”
TIME
magazine, March 24, 1997; Peggy T. Cohen-Kettenis, “As Nature Made Him: The boy who was raised as a girl,” book review in
The New England Journal of Medicine
342, no.19: 1457â8.
11
“It reminded me of the guy with the odds stacked against him,” David said of his choice of a name two decades later, “the guy who was facing up to a giant eight feet tall. It reminded me of courage.”
“It reminded me of the guy with the odds stacked against him,” David said of his choice of a name two decades later, “the guy who was facing up to a giant eight feet tall. It reminded me of courage.”
12
Paul R. McHugh,
The Mind Has Mountains: Reflections on Society and Psychiatry
(Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006), 227.
Paul R. McHugh,
The Mind Has Mountains: Reflections on Society and Psychiatry
(Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006), 227.
14
John Colapinto and Natalie Angier, “X 1 Y=Z,”
New York Times
Book Review, February 20, 2000; available online at:
http://www.nytimes
. com/books/00/02/20/reviews/000220.20angiert.html.
John Colapinto and Natalie Angier, “X 1 Y=Z,”
New York Times
Book Review, February 20, 2000; available online at:
http://www.nytimes
. com/books/00/02/20/reviews/000220.20angiert.html.
16
His mother required hospitalization for depression and a suicide attempt; his dad became an alcoholic. Brian descended into drug use and petty crime. Aside from the horrible circumstances into which they'd been thrown, there was most likely a genetic component to the family's depression
and substance abuse. (John Colapinto, “Gender Gap,”
Slate
, posted June 3, 2004).
His mother required hospitalization for depression and a suicide attempt; his dad became an alcoholic. Brian descended into drug use and petty crime. Aside from the horrible circumstances into which they'd been thrown, there was most likely a genetic component to the family's depression
and substance abuse. (John Colapinto, “Gender Gap,”
Slate
, posted June 3, 2004).
20
“Genderpalooza! A Sex & Gender Primer,”
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/genderpalooza_a_sex_gender_primer
.
“Genderpalooza! A Sex & Gender Primer,”
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/genderpalooza_a_sex_gender_primer
.
21
“I hate being a girl: is that wrong?”
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_hate_being_a_girl_is_that_wrong
.
“I hate being a girl: is that wrong?”
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_hate_being_a_girl_is_that_wrong
.
22
Planned Parenthood program content guidelines I, 5.
Planned Parenthood program content guidelines I, 5.
23
Ibid., 71.
Ibid., 71.
24
On the other hand, males are expected to be “tough, muscular, strong, unemotional, rational, not stylish, better at math and science, athletic, more sexual, powerful, not domestic, build things (sic).”
On the other hand, males are expected to be “tough, muscular, strong, unemotional, rational, not stylish, better at math and science, athletic, more sexual, powerful, not domestic, build things (sic).”
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