Yours (22 page)

Feeling him touch again made me shiver with emotion. Yes, he’d done terrible things under order. But when I thought about what he’d done to me, it wasn’t anything that made me angry, or upset. I was only angry at the real villains—El Alfa, David. And the real villains were all dead. We had killed them.

It was true. He was my hero. And when I thought about how he had touched me, about what he’d done to me… I could only wish for him to touch me again.

His mouth moved hesitantly down to my neck. I could feel him resisting with every touch, every heartbeat. His hands fluttered over my shoulders, down my arms. He didn’t want to take me without my consent. He didn’t realize he already had it.

As his lips pressed against my neck just under my ear, I took his hand and pulled it around my waist. My own hand drifted down, molding itself to his chest.

He looked into my eyes, and his gaze was a question. I answered it.

“
More
.”

I leaned back and he lay me down against the thin cushion on top of the deck. The boat rocked slowly in the swell of the waves, tugging against the anchor.

“You’re the most beautiful girl in the whole world,” he said, with all sincerity. I didn’t know what to say, so I just laughed.

“And your laugh is the most beautiful laugh in the whole world.”

The sun was starting to dip down to the horizon.

“Is that your normal pick up line?” I asked.

“I don’t pick girls up,” he said.

“No? Never?”

“Well… with my line of work…” he said, gesturing in the air. The reddish rays of the sun gleamed off of his tan skin. “It’s hard to start a relationship.”

“Right. Here I was thinking you don’t pick up girls, you just kidnap them.”

His shock quickly turned to amusement when he saw my joking expression.

“Sorry,” I said, giving him a wry smile as I let my hand touch his shoulder.

“I’m not used to having girls joke with me,” he said.

“It’s alright. As long as you don’t mind it from now on.”

“Do you always joke around?”

“Not always. Just whenever I get swept up by a handsome kidnapper.”

“You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever kidnapped,” he said suavely, joking right back at me.

A furious giggle rushed up inside of me and I pressed my fingers to my lips. I felt…not normal. That wasn’t it. I felt
free.
Like the first time we’d crossed over the Mexican border. Only this time, freedom tasted a whole lot sweeter.

“Thanks,” I said, not knowing how to make it mean more.

I grinned as he pulled me into another kiss. All of my hesitation vanished as his lips found mine and shocks of pleasure raced through my body. His mouth was hot, pressing insistent kisses against mine.

I’d never felt so safe. It was weird, I suppose. I should have been afraid of him. He was a killer, he admitted that much and more. He had done terrible things. But when his hands smoothed my dress down, cupping my hips in his large palms, I felt like nothing else in the world could touch me.

Here I was, floating in the middle of the ocean, and I felt completely free.

A rasp of his breath in my ear made me shiver. I kissed his neck, savoring the taste of ocean on his skin. His breath caught in his throat on the inhale. Despite his muscles, I could feel his arms trembling around me.

“God, Jessica, you don’t know what you do to me.”

“
Or,
” I said, another smile slinking up my face, “I know exactly what I’m doing to you. Even if I don’t know what I’m doing at all.”

His face shone with surprise and delight. And when he kissed me, I arched into him, letting his hands take me up by the hips. I could feel his cock through his pants, straining against the fabric. I knew he wanted me.

And this time, I was going to be able to let him take me.

He cradled me in his arms and leaned me back against the thin deck cushion. Underneath us, small waves slapped up along the side of the boat’s hull. He pressed kiss after kiss on my mouth, my cheeks, my neck. He nibbled his way down to the straps of my dress and nibbled his way back up to my ear. Every touch of his, every graze of his fingers, sent electrical thrills through my body.

When he gave me a little bit of space, I gasped. The air was cool and salty. The sun was almost to the edge of the world, and the other side of the sky was going dark.

I’d talked with April about losing my virginity, before we had ever even thought about taking a trip to Mexico. She’d told me that it wouldn’t feel great the first time, that it would hurt a little. She told me that I really should just get it over with so that I could stop worrying about it, because there was no way that I would enjoy sex my first time.

Despite all this, I was so very glad that I had waited. In this moment, I knew that Vale was the only man I could trust enough to take me from virginity to the other side. I trusted him, as strange as it sounded, because I had seen hints of the real him peeking out in the days when I was locked up. I had seen who he really was. And now, now that he was opening up, everything I saw made me even more firm in my decision. Vale was the one.

I wasn’t sure if I could ask him for what I wanted, though. I wet my lips and tried to think of a way to say what it was that I desired, but I couldn’t. My whole body ached for him.

My fingers explored the edge of his white shirt. I stopped at the seam of his scar peeking out just under his collarbone.

He froze above me. I could almost hear our heartbeats pounding in the dimming ocean air.

“Vale?”

He took my fingers, picked them up from where they were touching his scar. He lifted my fingers to his lips and kissed them.

“This is… hard for me,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Trusting you. I haven’t been with anyone since after Jen tried to kill me. I tried, but I couldn’t. It just didn’t work. It was impossible for me to let someone in. But you…”

He trailed off, looking at my fingers. He bit his lip, uncertainty playing across his strong features.

“I can’t hold back with you,” he said finally. “I want you too much.”

That was it. Relief flooded through me. I could ask him. I knew I could.

“Will you—will you tie me up, Vale?”

He raised his eyebrows. For a moment, I thought that I had gone too far, asked too much.

“Tie you up?”

“I like it. I mean, I didn’t like being chained up as a prisoner, but when you were kissing me, and...” My words started to stammer as I thought about what else he’d done to me. “I mean, I liked being tied up when I was with you. Is that weird?”

I flushed as I spoke. My body was ready for him, my whole self was ready to throw myself into this, but I wasn’t sure if I was asking the right thing.

“Not weird at all. Lots of people like that. But…”

“But?”

He brushed my hair away from my eyes and tilted my chin up so that I met his gaze.

“You have to promise me that if you feel uncomfortable, you’ll let me know.”

I nodded quickly.

“Of course.”

“Is this something you’ve always wanted?”

I looked up at him. I hadn’t expected his questions, but now that he was asking them, it forced me to look inside myself deeper than I’d looked before. Why did I want this?

“Yes,” I said slowly. “I didn’t know before… I didn’t know what I wanted. But there was always this…shadow over everything. I didn’t want what other girls wanted. I didn’t want a nice boyfriend who bought me drinks and flirted and met me at the door with a bunch of roses.”

“A shadow?”

“I wanted something… darker. I tried not to want it. But I didn’t know how to get rid of that shadow. I couldn’t. And when you came along, I knew what it was that I’d been waiting for. Does that make any sense?”

I was hoping for any sort of reassurance. Vale’s face was serious as he thought about what I’d said.

“I think we all have that. The shadow, I mean. There’s part of everyone that’s a little… darker than the rest. I know I have it, too. When I—”

He cut off mid-sentence, as though he didn’t want to speak about it. I nodded. I thought I understood what he meant. He’d done dark things, to be sure. Maybe he would tell me about them later. I hoped he would. I didn’t want him to hide anything else from me.

I heard his voice and refocused my attention.

“Jessica?”

I lifted my chin to meet his gaze. The ice-blue eyes that I had previously thought were cold had melted into gentleness. The only thing left in Vale’s face was desire.

“Just to be absolutely sure—you’re not doing this for me, are you?”

The question took me by surprise, and I laughed. With a burst of happiness, I pressed my hands on both of his cheeks.

“Oh, Vale!” I cried. “This… this is the first thing I’ve ever done for myself!”

I kissed him, and he met my desire with his own. Heat burned through my nerves as he lifted my dress over my head. The cool ocean air gave me goosebumps, but only for a moment. He kissed my shoulders, his palms warming my body as much from the inside as from without as he stroked my arms, my hips, my thighs.

He unhooked my bra, and I let it fall to the side of the deck. Letting my hips arch up, I helped him slide down my panties. They ended up in the same pile.

I was wet, so wet between my thighs. As Vale’s eyes swept down appreciatively over my body, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I reached for him to pull him to me.

“Vale,” I murmured.

“Put out your wrists,” he said. The order was firm and gentle, and I obeyed instantly. A thrill of fear mixed with my desire. I wanted this—there was nothing that I wanted more—but in that second I realized that I was giving something over completely, irrevocably. And that same thrill turned to a burning desire as he placed another kiss right in the hollow of my neck.

“Beautiful girl,” he whispered.

His hands were strong, and he moved deftly with the rope from the front of the sailboat. He looped the rope around my wrists, binding them. With each loop, he pressed alternating kisses onto my palms. I shivered, more from desire than from the chill in the air.

My heart was already pounding. The thought of losing my virginity both thrilled and scared me. And with Vale, a man who had done so much to me already? For a brief moment, I thought of turning back, saying no. He would let me go immediately, I knew.

That itself comforted me. And when Vale gave my hand a little squeeze, the rest of my fear evaporated. This was all I wanted—to give myself to him completely. He was my hero and my savior, and the man I wanted more than anything in the world.

The sun was quickly fading below the horizon and the only light left was the bright lamp hanging from the main mast of the sailboat. As Vale tied the last loop, he pushed me back against the cushion. I followed him obediently, letting his hands lead me wherever he wanted. Instead of tying me with my arms stretched out on both sides, though, my arms were bound over my head. The rope ran from above my head to the front rail of the boat. When he tugged the rope tight, my arms tensed, but only a little.

“How is that?” he asked.

“Good.” My voice was small, nervous. I knew what I wanted—at least, I thought I did—but now that it was really happening, I couldn’t believe it.

Vale slid his hands down over my naked body. Where before he had tasted my skin with his eyes, he touched me, exploring the curves of my shoulder, my elbow, the crook of my knee just above my calf.

His hand paused at the scar on my belly.

“I did it to myself,” I said. It was a confession I’d never made to anyone else, but with Vale I didn’t want to hide anything. He knew already, part of it.

“You? You did this?” He didn’t seem to believe me.

“I always tried to be so perfect,” I explained unsteadily. “Everything on the outside was perfect. I just wanted to…to mess it up somehow.”

His hand caressed my scar, and he leaned down to kiss it. His lips were hot, so hot against my skin. My body melted under his touch.

“Well, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Sorry?”

“You didn’t mess anything up. You’re still completely perfect.”

He smiled, and a rush of relief flooded through me. Although I had been worried, I shouldn’t have been. Vale was the last man in the world who would judge me. The thought made my heart swell so big I thought it would burst from my chest.

Bending his head, Vale continued his ministrations, moving down lower… and lower.

Now that I was tied up, I could sense my whole body reacting with small shivers of anticipation. Every touch of Vale’s hand made my skin jump. The air was getting chilly, but I was burning inside.

“Jessica?”

“Take me.”

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I needed him. Vale bent down, but instead of taking off his clothes, he slid between my legs. A small cry escaped my lips as he parted my thighs with his strong hands.
Oh, Lord
.

He pinned down my hips against the thin padding, and let out a single breath across me. I shivered, my nerves shooting out pinpricks of desire in every direction. His mouth was only an inch away from my slick folds, only an inch away and yet it seemed so far.

I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t. I arched up, and felt his hands press harder to pin me down. My wrists tugged uselessly at the rope holding my arms taut above my head. And an agonizing bolt of desire wrenched through my body.

The sky was dark now, and when I looked over at him, the lantern shining from behind him gave him a golden halo of hair. His face was in shadow, but I could tell somehow that he was smiling.

All the fear was gone, replaced by an intense desire. I needed his touch, and a small moan left my lips as he stroked his hands around the outside of my legs, coming back to pin me again. He bent down and licked between my thighs. One slow, hard lick, enough to send a spasm running from my core down to my toes and up through my fingers.

I moaned.

“Did you enjoy that?” His voice was smiling. Every particle of my being strained forward to meet him. I needed more.

“Vale?”

“Yes?”

“Take me.”