Z-Burbia: A Zombie Novel (7 page)

BOOK: Z-Burbia: A Zombie Novel
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“Waste
not, want not,” Elsbeth sing songs.

“She has a point,” Pa says. “I smoke you up and wrap you in oil cloth and you’ll last us through the winter. How can I pass that up?”

“I get it, I do,” I say, panic setting in. “We all have to do crazy shit to live. But you can’t keep eating people. You’ll get sick. People aren’t supposed to eat people. There are these things called prions-”

“Called what?” Elsbeth asks.

“Prions,” I repeat.

“That’s a funny word,” she says and starts saying it over and over.

“Shut up, will ya!” Pa barks, whirling on her, the knife slashing out and just missing her by a hair. She stumbles back and cowers against the wall. “It ain’t a funny word, it’s a science word.” He looks back at me. “You a teacher, mister? You trying to teach me and my girl?”

“Uh, I could be a teacher,” I say. “I do know a lot of stuff-” The knife cuts across my cheek. Deep. I
scream and wish I could clamp my hand to the flap of flesh I can feel flapping away. “Fuck! FUCK!” I scream some more, you know, just in case they didn’t get the point.

“I don’t need no one filling my girl’s head with science,” Pa smiles. “It’s all lies. Science couldn’t stop the Zs from coming, but the Bible predicted it would happen. What’s the point of science if religion is always right?”

“Gotta get you some religion,” Elsbeth whispers and nods. “Gotta get ya some.”

“Listen,” I plead. “Man to man, father to father, you can’t do this! Please! I just want to see my wife and kids again! Please!”

“How about you tell me where they are and I’ll go get them for ya?” Pa says. “I’ll keep you alive long enough so you can see them one last time. Then you and your family can die together. How’s that sound, Mr. Science?”

“I think I’ll leave them out of this,” I say.

“Fine,” he nods then looks me up and down. “Where should I start? I hate to kill and butcher you now. Your fear is gonna make the meat all gamey. I like the quick kills. Or a kill in a fight. The adrenaline tenderizes the meat for me. Less pounding of the tough cuts.”

“Maybe we can put this on hold? I can get some sleep. Letting me rest will do wonders to the flavor.”

“Don’t think so,” Pa says. “I have a lot of work to do before I sleep, and I’d like to get started.”

“No…please…”

I may have just peed a little.

“That’s disgusting,” Pa says.

Yeah, I peed.

“Just kill him, Pa,” Elsbeth mutters from the wall. “I don’t like him
talking no more. Makes my head all flunky spin like.”

“You heard the girl,” Pa says, placing the knife against my groin. “Better get to it.”

“No! NO! WAIT! NO PLEASE NO DON’T-!”

I go deaf and blind suddenly as bright flashes fill my eyes and gunshots fill my
ears. I’m pretty sure I’m still screaming for mercy when Jon slaps me.

“Will everyone please stop slapping
me?” I yell in his face.

“You were hysterical, Hoss,” he says as he cuts my hands loose. “Something had to be done.”

“You hurt?” Stuart asks. I just stare at him. “Besides the leg and the hand and that flap of loose skin on your face, I mean.”

“Nah, I think that covers it,” I say. “But I am going to need some clothes.”

“I’ll see what I can find,” Stuart says as he leaves the basement.

I catch Jon eyeing the meat and shake my head.
“Don’t.”

“Looks and smells good,” he says. “Goat? Wild boar?”

“Biker,” I say.

He takes a couple steps back.

I look down at Pa’s body and give it a kick. It hurts my bare toes, more than it does me any emotional good, but it had to be done. I look around, but there is no sign of Elsbeth.


You looking for the girl?” Jon asks. “Tucked out the window as soon as we hit the stairs. Fast thing, pretty too. Was she his captive? She left this behind. Looks just like yours, but better.”

I see a spiked bat on the ground that he’s pointing at. I guess it’s all the trend for North Asheville cannibal girls to have spiked bats. One gets one
, and then the girl down the street has to have one, and pretty soon, they’re more popular than skinny jeans and Uggs. Wonder what that says about me? How soon will I want to wear skinny jeans and Uggs? All the cool girls are!

“Hey!” Jon snaps, his fingers right in my face. “Earth to Jace!”

I blink then glance around again.

“Ugly thing is more like it,” I reply. “And she wasn’t a captive. She was his daughter. They were going to eat me.”

“Well, good thing your girly screams carry,” Jon says. “Stuart heard you and booked it straight for this house. I’m guessing you had seconds before this guy slit your femoral artery. See the nick?”

I look down at my leg and see the tiny trickle of blood on the inside of my thigh.

“Stop looking at my junk,” I say to Jon
, and then take a deep breath and struggle not to collapse.

“You okay?” he asks. “Need to sit?”

“No, no, I’m good.”

“I found some clothes that should fit,” Stuart says when he returns. “But you won’t like them.”

“I don’t care what they look like,” I say. “I just want to get dressed.”

“Okay,” Stuart
nods as he tosses me a bundle.

I look at the shirt and pants and frown. Looking from the clothes to Stuart to the clothes to Jon
to the clothes, I shake my head.

“No way,” I say.

“That’s all I could find that will fit you,” Stuart says. “Must have been a single mom and her kids that owned this place. No men’s clothes.”

I hold in my hands a pair of bright pink yoga pants and a purple t-shirt with a glittery butterfly. I sigh and start to put them on.

“Well, at least we’ll be able to find you in the dark there, My Little Pony,” Jon laughs.


I’ve had a hard day and could do without the sarcasm,” I say, “it hurts my feelings.”

“Time to go,” Stuart says. “We can’t stay here. Too much noise. The bikers are looking for us. Only a matter of time before they find this place.”

“Where to?” I ask. “We can’t make it back to Whispering Pines before dark.”

“It’s already dark,” Jon says.

“Jesus, how long have I been missing?”

“Hours,” Stuart says
, “hours we couldn’t afford to lose.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I snap. “Did I make you miss your flight or something? Did you have someplace better to be?”

Stuart closes on me and I remember just how dangerous he is.

“I think we all have someplace better to be, Jace,” he says
, “but we aren’t going to get there by being a little bitch, now are we then?”

I
sigh and shake my head. “No, Stuart, we aren’t. My bad. Thanks for saving my ass.”


Your life,” Stuart says, “I want nothing to do with your ass.”

“A joke!” Jon laughs. “Miracle
of miracles!”

“Come on-”

“We need to move,” Jon and I say at the same time.

“I don’t know why I bother,” Stuart says. He looks around the basement. “Anything worth salvaging
then?”

“No clue,” I say. “I was busy being prepped for dinner.”

“Fine, let’s go,” Stuart says as he puts a full magazine into his pistol. “You stay close to me, stay down, and don’t make a sound. Got it?”

We both nod at him.

“Good,” Stuart says as he heads for the basement door.

He opens it and then closes it quickly, but quietly, his finger to his lips.

Shit. Guess we didn’t move fast enough.

We all look up at the basement ceiling
and that’s when I hear the footsteps. They are careful, moving methodically through the house. There’s a creak over by the far corner telling us there’s two people in the house. Then another creak in the opposite corner. That makes three.

“What now?” I mouth at Stuart.

He cocks his pistol, aims it at the door, and waits. I give him a thumbs up.

“Shit,” Jon hisses
, “your leg.”

I look at my
leg and see the bandage is soaked with blood. There isn’t a speck of white.

“His face isn’t looking so good either,” Stuart whispers.

I reach up and feel my cheek and my hand comes away drenched in red.

I’m a fucking mess.

“He needs help,” Jon says, his voice barely louder than the crackle of the fire. “We have to get him home.”

“We have to get us all home,” Stuart says. “But we can’t now. Get him settled and redress that
leg. See if you can clean his cheek and dress that too.”

“What are you going to do?” Jon asks.

“I’m going to watch that door,” Stuart says.

“We’ll do it in shifts.”

“No, you watch him. If he goes into shock, he could die. You have to make sure he stays breathing and doesn’t bleed out. Watch the wounds, change the dressings, and keep him alive.”

“How will you stay awake?” Jon asks.

Stuart opens his bag and pulls out a blister pack of pink pills. He cracks open two pockets and takes out the pills. He dry swallows them, and then hands Jon the pack.

“You’ll need some too,” he says.

“I can’t swallow these without water,” Jon says, “I’m a pussy that way. Bad gag reflex.”

“There’s water over there,” I say and point at the workbench. My stomach clenches at the sight of the meat. “Can you cover that or something?”

Jon goes to the table and swallows the pills, taking a drink of water from a large gallon jug. He brings it over and hands it to me.

“I’ll do better than cover it up,” Jon says as he goes back to the meat, grabs it, and tosses it on top of
Pa’s body. He covers him with a moldy tarp from one of the basement shelves. He stands there and whispers a few words and then nods, looks up at the ceiling, nods again. “Amen.”

“Amen,” Stuart repeats.

“Amen,” I say more out of superstition than any spiritual need. Plus, I have no desire to really send his soul along in peace. Jon and Stuart weren’t here. They didn’t see them, hear what they said, know what they’d done. What they were going to do. He can rot in fucking hell, thank you very much.

“I don’t hear them anymore,” Jon says.

“That means they are good at what they do, not gone from the house,” Stuart says. “They’re either figuring out how to take us or have decided this house is a good place to hole up in until morning.” Stuart looks around the basement then at me. “It is a good house to hunker down in. It’s how we found you. It looked like the right house.”

“That and the screams,” Jon says.

“Those helped,” Stuart says. “Get some rest, Jace. We’ll need you at your best in the morning. We may be doing a lot of running.”

“I’ll try,” I say.

“To rest or run?”

“Both,” I nod.

I lean back and close my eyes, but all I can see is Elsbeth’s laughing face. My eyes shoot open and I see Jon watching me. He cocks his head and I shake mine.

I don’t expect to sleep much at all. Who would?

That’s the last thing I remember until Jon is shaking me awake. I look about and see the basement door open and Stuart gone. I start to speak, but Jon puts a finger to my lips. Then I hear them.

Engines. Big engines.

“Okay, kiddies,” a voice booms from above. Someone has their very own PA system. “You are in there and I would like you not to be. I’ll count to ten, because I’m generous and nothing gets done in five, and then you have to come outside. Arms up. Weapons down. This is something you have to do. Have to.”

“Guys,” Stuart says from the door and waves us over.

Jon still has to help me, but the rest must have done me some good, because I feel stronger than before. We follow Stuart upstairs. The sun is just starting to make an appearance and the front room of the huge house is bathed in pink dawn light. There’s no sign anyone stayed in the house. They must have gone for reinforcements because outside the front window, I can see two huge dump trucks, backed up to the front yard, their tailgates pointing at us.

“I’m at three now,” th
e voice booms. “Oh, did you think I was going to countdown for you? Why would I do that?” The voice laughs. “That would ruin all the fun.”

The dump truck beds start to lift and the tailgates open.
And out come the Zs. Lots of Zs. Like a whole lot of Zs. I would be safe in saying a shit ton of Zs.

Jon and I stare at the Zs
, and then cringe as red liquid is sprayed up on the porch, the front windows, the whole house.

“They’re ba
iting us,” Stuart says. “That’s blood. The Zs will go insane and be in here in minutes.”

“Upstairs?” Jon asks.

Stuart turns and looks at him, puzzled. “Why? You think Zs can’t climb stairs? It’ll just prolong the inevitable.”

BOOK: Z-Burbia: A Zombie Novel
11.39Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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