Zane's the Other Side of the Pillow (24 page)

I had confided in her about my pregnancy the week before. She giggled and said that she had already suspected. Her exact words were: “I know more about your mannerisms and eating habits than you probably know about yourself. You've been having me order some interesting food choices for your lunches since school started back up. Plus, you have that glow.”

Everyone kept talking about the “pregnancy glow.” I couldn't see it.

I was quite sure that I was not glowing at the moment. I clamped my eyes shut and said a silent prayer to God not to take my child away from me. Not to take another child away from Tevin.

“The two students that knocked you down need to be expelled,” Lilibeth said. “That was inexcusable.”

I shook my head and tried to get the word
accident
out of my windpipe. It came out as something unrecognizable.

The nurse returned with a pitcher full of ice water. “Dr. Horton has been paged. He'll be here in less than five minutes.”

She poured some water into a plastic cup and then raised the bed so I was sitting up enough to drink. There was an excruciating pain in my lower back.

Once the water hit the back of my throat, I coughed but it felt like I could function again.

I cleared my throat. “It was an accident, Lilibeth. Donald and Leon didn't mean to push me down the stairs. There was a lot going on today and they were simply trying to make it to their next class on time. We should have delayed the fourth-period bell.”

Lilibeth took a seat in the chair beside the bed. “Leave it to you to try to make excuses for those kids, even today. You're always looking out for them.”

“That's my job. And they're both good kids. Good grades, honor-roll students. I'm not about to expel them and ruin their chances at making it because of an accident. Accidents happen all the time.”

I really wanted to ask Lilibeth if they had said anything to her about the baby, but I was too afraid. From the expression on her face, it didn't appear that they had delivered such distressing news to her. She was not good at hiding her emotions. I knew that from experience.

The nurse was jotting my vitals down on my chart and had broken out a thermometer to take my temperature. Before she could stick it in, I asked Lilibeth, “Has anyone called Tevin?”

While the thermometer was in my mouth, she responded, “Yes. I did. He was in surgery but they said that they'd give him the message the second he was done. I asked them to disrupt but—”

The nurse removed the thermometer in time for me to interrupt her. “No, they can't bother him while he's in surgery. It'll be fine. He'll be here.”

Dr. Horton entered the room and smiled at me. I felt a sense of relief. My baby was alive!

Two hours later, Tevin came bolting through the door of my hospital room.

Before he could even say anything, I assured him, “The baby's fine.”

He came over and laid his head on my stomach and embraced me, kissed my stomach, and then moved up and kissed my forehead.

“It's okay, baby,” I said, caressing the back of his head. “I fell but everything's all right.”

He stood and walked to the end of the bed, grabbed my chart and started flipping through it, his eyes speed-reading the pages. He had yet to say a single word.

“Dr. Horton said that I was lucky. He's going to have to monitor things and wants me to start coming in to see him weekly, at least for the next month or so.” His silence was beginning to frighten me. “Tevin, did you hear what I said? Tevin?”

He looked up from the chart. “Sorry, sweetheart. I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment.” He set the chart down. “Everything looks good. They did a sonogram?”

“Two of them. One when I was still knocked out and another one when I was awake.” I paused to consider whether or not I should elaborate. I decided he needed to know everything. “At first I didn't feel the baby kicking, but the little sucker is moving around now.”

“I'll ask them to see the film.”

“Yes, you can do that. But there is something you should know before you see it.”

He came over and took my hand into his. “What? Is something wrong with the baby?”

“No, he's fine.”

“That's good because . . . He?”

“Yes,
he
. Even though we'd decided not to find out, it was kind of obvious this time around. Little Man looks like he's going to be hung like his father.”

Tevin chuckled. “You could see his dick?”

“Oh yeah, couldn't miss it this time. Congratulations, Tevin Harris,
Senior
.”

“We're going to name him after me?”

I shrugged. “I assumed that is what you'd want. Don't you?”

“I'm not sure. I kind of want him to have his own identity. But then again, it would be great to have my name carry on.”

I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it. “It's a great name. He has a lot to live up to. I say we go for it. No point in breaking out baby name books or doing Internet searches when the perfect name already exists for him.”

Tevin grinned from ear-to-ear. “Did they say how long you have to stay in here?”

“At least until tomorrow morning. I'm glad that I didn't break anything. My ankle's going to be sore for a few days, and my lower back. All in all, I took that flight of steps like a trooper.”

Tevin frowned, probably envisioning the horrific fall in his mind. “So what exactly happened?”

“We had a guest speaker today, a former student. I was walking him downstairs from the auditorium and he was telling me that he plans to donate what amounts to a few million dollars' worth of electronics and software to the school. I must've gotten too engrossed in the conversation and I slipped.”

There was no way that I was going to tell Tevin that two students had accidentally caused my fall. He wouldn't have seen anything but blood.

“You have to be more careful, baby,” was all that he said. “I'm just glad that you and the baby are okay.”

“I know that you were petrified when they told you. I hope you didn't drive recklessly on the way over here.”

“Floyd drove me. He's downstairs parking and calling Courtney to meet him over here.”

It was my turn to frown. “Great!”

Tevin sighed. “Please try to be nice to him. It's not the time.”

“There's never
a time
to call someone on their bullshit. When Courtney gets here, it's going to take every ounce of self-control that I possess not to say anything. I haven't spoken to her since you told me that Floyd is a whore.”

“I haven't told him that I let that slip. We need to get through this without drama. If you feel like you have to tell Courtney about his dirt, can we at least wait until we get home?”

“Yeah, you're right. The day has been long enough already.”

Tevin wiped his right eye. “I was so scared. I don't think that I can handle losing another child.”

“God's will and mercy shall prevail. Today, He spoke and gave us His blessings.”

Tevin grinned and kissed me lightly on the lips. “I agree.”

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.”

—Unknown

I
was on medical leave for a few weeks, against my will. I was never one to sit around doing nothing and the boredom was killing me. As much as I was accustomed to watching daytime TV shows that were recorded on my DVR, watching them in real time irritated me for some reason. It meant that I had to sit through the commercials instead of skipping them and, for some reason, I hated that. Even when I was out of school for the summer, I rarely sat around during the day. I played the shows in the evening or late night when I was falling asleep.

It was amusing to me that companies were still spending millions to produce commercials and purchase airtime on television shows. A lot of them were never actually watched. Either people skipped over them with their remote, flipped channels during the ads, or had their eyes glued to laptops, cell phones, or tablets, with their attention diverted until the show started back up. Even the online ads that were placed before videos and shows online rarely got any attention. Companies really needed to realize that they had to take to social networking to really get any attention. They had to engage the consumers in contests or do something so different, amusing, or shocking that everyone would share it on their pages or retweet it.

I did catch up on some reading while I was laid up. I read several novels by Allison Hobbs, Cairo, and William Fredrick Cooper, and a couple of self-help books. The greatest room in anyone's
house is the room for improvement. But the books that I read the most of were parenting books. I definitely needed to know all about that. A mother? Wow! I was at the point in my life that I never thought it would happen for me. A mother and, if all went well, a wife.

I was still apprehensive about setting a wedding date. I had progressed somewhat by sporting the ring that Tevin had purchased me. I needed to go shopping to purchase him a wedding band at some point. I planned to get him one that matched the color tone of mine. My ankle was still sore so I tried to stay off my feet as much as possible. I was not in the best of shape since I got pregnant. I had not been going to the gym or doing any real form of exercise. I was becoming too lazy and complacent. As soon as I had Tevin Jr., I planned to reclaim my body and become fly all over again.

I was scanning the Internet one afternoon and ran across a blog written by a man. Rarely did I agree with much that men said about life. It was hard to relate, not being one. But this blog really caught my attention. It was written by a thirty-year-old man who had been with his wife since he was seventeen, and had been married to her for eight years. They had several children and he was under the impression that he might lose her.

He felt like he was not good enough for her, like she had outgrown him over the years. He had to admit that he might have tried to keep her pregnant in order to keep her in his life.
They had nine children
. But while she normally would get herself back together—losing weight, reading, perfecting her hair and makeup, dressing good, smelling good—he had always felt that it was for his benefit. He sensed something was different this time—like she was doing it for herself and that she would eventually leave him, even if it were not specifically for another man.

He said that if she were single and he met her now, she never
would have given him the time of day. That she would only be interested in men who had themselves more together, men who were on her level both physically and financially. He was making excuses for why he had not achieved more.

Then it came down to the truth, slipped nonchalantly into the last paragraph. A couple of years before, he had cheated on her and she had forgiven him. That was what it came down to. It was different this time around after childbirth. He didn't think she had actually gotten over his shit and that caring so much for herself meant that she would likely feel like she deserved better than a man who would disrespect her like that.

He was definitely onto something. I immediately thought of Courtney and what she would do if she found out that Floyd was cheating on her. Even though Courtney had “elected” to be a stay-at-home mother and wife, she was brilliant and attractive and any man would be blessed to have her. She took care of herself—spiritually and physically—and her clothes, hair, and makeup were all always on point. Courtney was thebomb.com and she really did not deserve the shit that Floyd was doing to her.

Ever since Tevin had “slipped” and told me the truth, I had fought a never-ending war within myself over whether or not to tell her the truth. The way I looked at it, the outcome had a few possibilities. Courtney could tell Floyd to kiss her ass and file for divorce immediately. Courtney could decide to stay and suggest marital counseling. Courtney could pretend like it never happened and stay for her kids, but never trust Floyd again.

There was one other possibility. That Courtney could curse me out because she already knew, or at least suspected, that he had cheated once, or was a habitual cheater. I decided that I would try to feel her out before I said anything. Then again, I was not one to play games.

Shit! I wish he'd never told me!

It was one of those “your ears must've been burning” moments. As soon as I finished that thought, my cell phone started ringing. It was Courtney.

“Hey, girl,” I said into the phone.

“What you know good?” she replied. “Just calling to check on you. See if you needed anything. The kids and I can drop by and bring you whatever you need. Or I can get a sitter and come keep you company for a while.”

“Aw, you're so sweet, but I'm fine. Just watching a bunch of television, reading tons of stuff, and sleeping way too damn much.”

“There's no such thing as sleeping too much when you're pregnant.”

“What about eating too much? I am eating like ten men.”

We both laughed.

“Girl, do you,” Courtney said. “That's part of the joy of pregnancy. You have a valid excuse to go buck wild and throw down six times a day if you want.”

“Yeah, but if I get too fat, Tevin is going to have to roll me out the door and to the hospital when I go into labor.”

She giggled. “Talk about exaggerating. I bet you haven't put on ten pounds yet.”

“Try twenty-six.”

“Twenty-six? Must be all tits and ass because it's damn sure not in your stomach.”

“You haven't seen me undressed. As soon as I get it back together, I'm going to have to do some serious shopping for maternity clothes. Or borrow some of yours.”

“Yes, yes. My shit is fly. I'll get some of it together and bring it over this weekend. I probably spent more on maternity clothes than my regular stuff.”