Zane's the Other Side of the Pillow (22 page)

I anticipated Winsome saying something else sarcastic, going the hell off, or at least saying something deep and reflective . . . in an attempt to get in the proverbial last word. Instead, she just turned and walked away in silence.

I yelled after her. “You need to go talk to someone, Winsome! Please go talk to someone!”

By the time I got to the front steps of the school, she was peeling out of the parking lot. One of the male students offered to carry the crate inside for me.

I looked at him and forced a smile. “Thanks, and welcome to Medgar Evers. What's your name and what grade are you in?”

“Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”

—Unknown

T
evin met me at my OB/GYN's office for my prenatal checkup after school. He was excited and asked a thousand questions even though he was a doctor himself. You would've thought he was back in medical school and that I was a test subject with an assigned number like E-105.

After Dr. Horton assured him that both the baby and I were fine, he calmed down a little. I made an appointment for four weeks later and Tevin walked me to the parking garage. He had found street parking.

He suddenly seemed quiet. A few moments earlier, no one could shut his ass up.

“What's wrong with you?” I asked him, locking my left arm into his right. “Dr. Horton said everything's great.”

“And that's fantastic. I can't wait until the next visit so we can see the sonogram.”

“I meant to ask you about that. Do you think we should find out the sex?”

“That's up to you, baby.”

“Well, don't you want to know whether we're having a boy or a girl?”

“All I really care about is the baby being healthy, having ten fingers and toes, and coming home with us.” He stopped walking and
turned toward me, then took my hands. “Coming home to his or her
married
parents.”

I blinked twice and then sucked in a breath.

“Jemistry, come on. This is ridiculous. We love each other and we're bringing a life into the world together. Let's get married. I have no intention of ever getting a divorce.”

“I'm sure you didn't have any intention the first time.”

I regretted the words the second they left my lips.

“I didn't mean it li—”

Tevin grinned and kissed me on the forehead, then whispered, “It's okay. It's the truth. And no, I can't promise you that nothing will ever happen to break us up, but what I can say is that you'd have to leave me.” He gazed into my eyes. “I'm a man of my word. I didn't file for divorce the first time and I won't do it this time.”

“I understand.”

“Do you really? I want you to realize that when I marry you, and I will, the vows will mean everything to me, and I won't default on them. I won't turn my back on you . . . ever.”

I started walking again to avoid eye contact. I couldn't possibly tell Tevin what was actually on my mind. I wanted to wait until I got past my second trimester before we got married. Even though I would be showing, I didn't want to run the risk of having a miscarriage and having Tevin relive his nightmare all over again by being in a marriage with a woman who couldn't give him a child. Despite what the tests said, and what my doctor said, I'd never carried a child to term . . . but I had aborted one.

Back when I was with Wesley, in the darkest of my days of abuse, I got pregnant. I was on birth control pills, just as I was on birth control when I got pregnant with Tevin's child. What can I say? The method worked for the majority of the time with the handful of men that I had ever allowed to enter me without a condom. It's true that women need to seriously consider the
men they are sleeping with as father material, in case something happens.

We walked the rest of the way to my truck in silence. I used the key fob to unlock it, open the door, and tossed my purse onto the passenger seat.

I turned to give Tevin a hug. “I'll see you at home.”

He gave me a half-hug back. “You never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“Do you understand what kind of man I am?”

“Yes, I do. I understand. I appreciate. I love you for it.”

“Then pick a date. A date for us to either go to the justice of the peace, plan a small backyard wedding, get married at a church, or a date to take off to an island or go to Vegas so that you can become Mrs. Tevin Harris.”

I needed a glass of wine but that wasn't happening. I wouldn't even touch a soda while I was pregnant, much less alcohol.

“Go back to the hospital. We'll discuss it tonight.”

“Speaking of the hospital, Floyd's been hiding out for the past couple of days.”

I played dumb. “Really? Maybe he's just busy, or maybe he took a couple of days off.”

“No, he's around. I hear them paging him and his car is in the lot. He's the only doctor there with a Bentley. Every time they call him over the intercom, I'm hemmed up but I'm going to catch up to him sooner or later.”

I decided continuing to play dumb was my best bet.

“Oh, okay. Well, I'm sure he's fine.”

“For now.”

Tevin had an angry expression on his face.

No more playing dumb!

I sighed and leaned against the back door. “Tevin, I asked Floyd
not to mention my pregnancy to you. He never wanted to go along with it. In fact, he pleaded with me to tell you. I told him that I needed time to tell you in my own way. I didn't want him delivering that kind of news when we weren't even speaking.”

“Floyd is supposed to be my best friend,” he stated vehemently.

“And he is your best friend.” I ran my fingers over Tevin's chest. “Think about it. If he'd told you and I wasn't prepared to even face you, what would you have done?”

He sighed. “It's not only about the pregnancy. Floyd sat there and listened to me for months, describing how I would go sit outside of your old place and wait for you. He knew that I was about to go crazy with worry and his ass knew how to contact you all along. That's unforgivable!”

“No, it's not unforgivable. He only did what I asked so if you must take it out on someone, take it out on me.”

Tevin frowned. “I'm not taking anything out on you. I love you.”

“And Floyd loves you. Don't try to punish him or confront him about any of this. He's avoiding you because he feels bad. I told Courtney at lunch the other day that you'd figured it out, about them knowing. I'm sure she related that to him.”

Tevin smirked. “I'm sure she did.”

“Floyd's a good man. You need to cut him a break. He was only trying to do the best for all involved.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. “Besides, what does it matter now? We're back together, you know about the baby, and everything's all good.”

Tevin's heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest. “Floyd's not the saint you and Courtney believe him to be.”

I giggled, let him go, and started to climb into the driver's seat. “I never said Floyd was a saint. But he is a good man and he loves his wife and kids. And he loves you. So go kiss and make up.”

“I'm not kissing his ass.” Tevin finally laughed. “But I am going to make sure I see him today, tomorrow at the latest.”

“I'm going to stop by Eatonville and pick up dinner. You want some of that gumbo you like?”

“Yes, get some gumbo and grab some of those corn muffins while you're at it.”

“Bye, baby.”

Tevin leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips.

“Now go lay one of those on Floyd,” I joked as I put on my seat belt.

“Shit! There's not a snowball's chance in hell of that happening.”

We both laughed as he shut my door and watched me start the engine and pull away. He seemed like he was in a better mood. I hoped that Tevin would let the entire thing with Floyd go. He had been stuck between a rock and a hard place, and made the only choice that made sense at the time. That's all any of us can ever do.

“You don't mean anything to me. You mean everything to me.”

—Unknown

W
hen Tevin got back that night he had indeed tracked Floyd down at Sibley. It did not go well.

“That motherfucker!”

I was sitting on the sofa with my feet up when he stormed into the living room and threw his keys on the coffee table.

He collapsed into the armchair as I stood up and walked behind him to start massaging his shoulders. It was obvious that he was talking about Floyd.

His muscles were tensed up like bricks.

“Baby, you need to calm down before you have a stroke or something.”

He sounded like he was hissing but didn't respond.

“I hope you didn't get into a loud confrontation in front of people at the hospital.”

He shook his head. “No, I finally told his punk ass to meet me at the bar down the street so we could talk about the situation like men.”

I sighed. “Sounds like you wanted to have some kind of gladiator fight.”

“I should've whipped his ass.”

I stopped massaging him and walked around the chair to look down on him. “Tevin, I already told you that Floyd only did what he thought was best. He honored my request and I appreciate that.”

Tevin glared at me. “You do realize that I can never trust him. I should've never trusted him in the first place. Any man who fucks half of the women at work and then smiles up in his wife's face is a damn good liar. I should call Courtney and rat his ass out.”

It was not the norm for someone to render me speechless but that was exactly what happened when Tevin blurted that out about Floyd.

He stared at me. I stared at him. We both knew the situation that we now faced. It was unwritten man code and woman code that once either knew that one of their friends or relatives had a cheating spouse or mate, the man should feel obligated to tell the other man and the woman should be obligated to tell the other woman. It was so obvious that I decided to call him on it.

“So, you're going to put that burden on me?”

Tevin lowered his eyes.

I went and sat back down on the sofa.

For a few moments, we sat in silence.

Tevin finally spoke. “I'm sorry, Jemistry. I didn't mean to put Floyd's business out there but I was pissed.”

“You do realize that you just told me that Floyd is a man whore? And that now I can either betray my friend by allowing her to believe that her husband is faithful, or I can conspire against her, hope she never finds out the truth another way, and that she never asks me if I already knew.”

“Kind of like you enlisting Floyd to conspire with you against me, huh?”

We were about to have a serious argument and we both recognized that. He was not ready to drop it.

“For the last time, Tevin. I asked Floyd and Courtney to give me time, and allow me the opportunity to tell you when I was ready. There was never a single moment in time when you wouldn't have known about our child. Abortion never crossed my
mind, and I would never have raised your child without you playing a significant role in their upbringing.

“You're one of the most loving men—persons—that I've ever met and my child is blessed to have you as their father. Even if we never got back together, it was a given that you would be ever-present.”

Tevin sat up on the edge of the armchair and reached for me. I scooted over on the sofa so he couldn't.

“No, let me finish my thought. On the flip side, what you told me is completely different. Are you going to sit here and say that, sans you spilling the proverbial beans, that Floyd was eventually going to tell Courtney that he's fucking around on her?”

Tevin sighed. “No, I guess not.”

“Exactly!” I paused. “How long has he been cheating and with how many women?”

“Why would you want to know all that? Isn't that making it worse?” he asked and sat back, settling into the cushions. “That'll only give you more information you have to cover up.”

“I don't have to cover up a damn thing. I'm not sure why you would think that I would.”

He went into a panic and loosened his tie. “It's not our place to interfere in their marriage, Jemistry.”

“How long and how many? You said that you'd never lie to me. Like a bad defense attorney, you've introduced this evidence into the mix, so now you have to give me full disclosure.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. Tevin, here's your chance to prove that you're not a liar. I should be upset about the fact that you've been cosigning on his behavior and then going over to their house and smiling all up in Courtney's face. That says a lot about you, and it's nothing nice.”

Tevin practically catapulted out of the chair then. “Hold up!”
He started pacing the floor with an attitude. “I hope you're not trying to imply that I'm the navigator of Floyd's dick!”

“That's not what I'm implying at all. What I am saying is that you always pride yourself on what you will or will not do to a woman—me in particular—and yet you've been
apparently
idly sitting by while Floyd not only dicks down various women but risks the health of his wife in the process.”

I stood up as well. “All this shit being spread around today and he's fucking random broads? He could bring anything home to her and you think that's cool?”

“Hell no, I don't think it's cool! I'm the one who's been telling Floyd he needs to stop before the shit catches up to him. I've warned him over and over that he needs to grow the fuck up and do the right thing.”

“And what did he say?”

Tevin crossed his arms in defiance. “As of late, all he was doing was boasting about the fact that you dumped me over something that I never did, and that he was doing him and that Courtney worships the ground he walks on regardless.”