Zenith Fulfilled (20 page)

She glanced at the time, and saw it was close to six o’clock. All she had to show for her day was a hangover, a shower and unprecedented sexual pleasure. Like everything else with Rob, she never spent such a day as this; but she was glad she did. She stretched her body and began to relish the freedom of doing something she shouldn’t. Then she realized she was all alone. Of course, Rob didn’t have any hangover, and was used to the late night hours. Why would he have stayed in bed with her? She felt weird again. Even weirder than earlier that morning. She shouldn’t have dozed off, since they hadn’t talked; and now it all felt so much bigger and stranger. What could she say to him?

She was starving by then, but almost felt refreshed as she realized the last of the hangover was receding. She got up again, and
reshowered, glad to see the bag she brought in her van now sitting by the doorway. Rob must’ve brought it in for her. She had jeans and a t-shirt. She was glad to wear her own clothes again, with her own curls and her normal, not-so-sexy, not-so-hip persona. She also had to get going to pick up her daughters before returning home.

It was time to leave, she realized with a heavy heart. Time to return to her regular, boring days, her routine, her girls, her quiet, sane, but very normal life.

Rob was what? A break from that? An exciting, never gonna happen again thrill? Or was it more?

Her heart said it had to be more. She couldn’t imagine this being all of it. But she could never predict how he’d act or feel.

Finally, she headed downstairs as the late sunlight descended through the open shades. Rob was sitting on the couch, watching ESPN, wearing sweats and a t-shirt. His hair was rumpled and he hadn’t showered. He glanced up when he heard her, but didn’t say anything.

“I have to get going.”

“Yeah. I was going to wake you up soon.”

“I have to pick up the girls.”

He nodded. She waited. For more. For something.

“Do you need a ride to get your bike?” she finally asked.

“Spencer dropped it off earlier.”

“Oh,” she answered, wondering when,
as well as what Spencer must’ve thought when he saw her van still parked in the driveway. “So I guess I should go,” she said, feeling like she was totally blowing everything. She had to let Rob be like that, but she didn’t know what to say, or how to relieve the sudden awkwardness she felt growing between them.

“Not like you can stay here
.” Hearing the resentment laced in his voice, she backed up, startled by how much his carelessness, and curt dismissal of her hurt. She knew that going in, didn’t she? He warned her what she was getting into, and he wasn’t the type to coddle her hurt feelings, or promise to take care of her.

He unexpectedly got up, came around the couch,
and walked through the kitchen into the laundry room. She followed, her bag in hand. Her vehicle was probably parked in the garage. He was holding the garage door open for her and clicked the electric opener next to him until the big garage door started to rattle open.

As she came past him, he suddenly stopped her, placing
his hand on her arm. His eye-lock on hers was intent. She wished he would say something, anything, about today, or about them. Something that would make it seem like what they did was what he wanted. Or tell her he wasn’t going to send her home and never call her again. Instead, his mouth came down on hers.

“Keys are in it,” he mumbled as his lips left hers.

“Rob?” she finally asked, “What is this?”

His mouth tightened, and furrowed lines bracketed his lips. His eyes drilled into her.
“You tell me what this is.”

“A mistake?”

“Probably.”

She looked into his face for more of an explanation. “Then why doesn’t it feel like it?” she whispered.

“I don’t know.”

She waited, still wanting more. Wanting answers, or heartfelt statements of what was next. Of seeing each other more often. But instead, he seemed just as confused as she was. He didn’t know what to do now, anymore th
an she did. And he was right; they did live really far apart. And she did have three kids, she was still married, and her brother hated him. And how did all those problems factor into this? What? Were they a couple? Would she be willing to claim Rob for her boyfriend? It shamed her to realize she had no idea. So how could he know the answer?

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll just go,” she finally said, taking a step back, and repeating her earlier intentions. He dropped his hand off her arm and she turned to leave. She backed her van out and he didn’t come running after her, but simply closed the door as soon as she was safely out of the way.

Tears pricked her eyes before she hit the side streets. She hated herself now. For not taking Rob’s warnings seriously. For being mad, even furious with him, when she was no more willing to say what it was than he. She was not willing to take a chance on him. She merely slept with him, and now had no idea why, or what to make of that.

It went all wrong with Rebecca. Rob didn’t know what to do, or how to handle her in that situation. He never intended to sleep with her and even made up his mind when she nearly passed out that he wouldn’t take that major step with her. Until she decided differently. And then, afterwards, she just went to sleep, and he couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out what he should say to her when she woke up. So he retreated from her, since he wasn’t sure what he was feeling towards her.

The phone rang mid-week and he answered it to find Rebecca on the other end. He knew she’d call, and do exactly what she did in the past: coordinate their schedules, take care of things, and express her “Mom” urge
and make a plan. He usually stopped by Bethany’s anytime he felt the craving for sex, and wasn’t sure what he thought of planned out, organized, appointment sleeping with a woman.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi.”

“I see we’ve progressed pretty far from this weekend.”

He chuckled. “You want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what? That we had sex? I think we both know that. What we don’t know is what to do next.”

“What does next mean?”

“Next means my daughter. She asked me to call and invite you to her fourth birthday party. So I’m calling to invite you; will you come? It’s on Saturday, here at one o’clock.”

“You called for Karlee?”

“Yes. Unbelievably, yes. She begged me to ask you to come.”

“She wants me to come to her birthday?”

“Yes.”

“Just Karlee wants me to come?”

She
sighed. “Fine. You want to be honest with each other, huh? I want you to come.”

“Rebecca, I don’t know. We’re not really...”
Anything
, he almost said.

“Oh yes, we really are,” Rebecca said in a self-assured tone. “Rob, we didn’t handle Saturday like we should have, but the thing is, we both know I’m not just one of your friends. And you don’t want me to be one. You’ve acted too weird all along about us sleeping together for that to be the case. So come to my daughter’s birthday. It will upset her if you don’t.”

“Now you’re involving your kids in this thing between us?”

She paused. “Yes. I am. I mean I’m not going to sit them down and tell them I had sex with the nice man I’m writing my book about! But
yeah, you’re going to see them and be around them.”

“Why?”

“Rob, just come. Please,” she said softly. He couldn’t refuse that tone, nor could he refuse Karlee asking specifically for him. He cursed the position he was in. He didn’t know what to make of all the responsibility and baggage that Rebecca came with.

“Fine, I’ll come. But when it ruins your party, and your family hates you for asking me, don’t pretend I didn’t warn you.”

“You’re always warning me. Funny how you never take your own warnings. One of these days, you’re going to have to man up and admit how you feel about me.”

Then she hung the phone up on him.

****

Rebecca had been hosting birthday parties for ten years, and had them down to a science. She had, long ago, shopped for and wrapped Karlee’s presents, as well as ordered a cake to match the Disney Princess theme of her party. Karlee was already dressed as her favorite princess, Sleeping Beauty. Her dress was pink and frilly with a crown to match.

The house was all decorated and cleaned. There was chairs set up outside, and the table had a princess table cloth and matching plates. It was a little girl’s dream of pink shades and princesses.

Kayla and Kathy helped Rebecca get the food prepared. All of them were in good moods, chatting together happily. Debbie also arrived early to help set up and cook. By one o’clock, everything was ready, and after about a dozen pictures of Karlee surrounded by her presents and balloons, she was off and running around. It was a warm, pleasant June day. The party guests could easily flow out onto the deck, which had balloons hanging everywhere too.

Slowly, over the next half hour, her family arrived. In no time, the house was loudly brimming with kids and peals of contagious laughter. Everyone got party horns and streamers that Karlee passed out to them all. Birthday presents were piled thick and deep, just waiting to be opened.

Nick was holding Jody and followed by Joelle when he came in
. Rebecca found, for the first time in her life, she couldn’t hold Nick’s gaze. She felt weird, then beyond weird with him after last weekend. When she was drunk, she could easily blow off what she was doing with Rob in front of Nick. But now that she was sober, and back into her normal routine, in her safe world, she started to wonder what she was really thinking last weekend. What exactly was she doing with Rob Williams?

At first, she planned to never call Rob again, she was so freaked out. Then she realized how stupid that was. She was actually scared to call him, and the nerves churned in her stomach for days until Karlee begged her more than once to invite him to her birthday party. It gave her just the excuse she needed, and Rob didn’t say no.

Joelle smiled, and Rebecca smiled warmly back at her. Joelle started laughing, as she hugged Rebecca, and Rebecca joined in, well aware the family was looking on at them with shock and surprise. It was obvious to them that this was not her usual, obligatory hug. It was real and sincere. But most of all, it was fun.

All the while, Nick kept looking at her oddly.

Joelle gave her hand a squeeze and said, “We should talk later.”

Finally, Trina came in, dragging her husband, Gavin, behind her.

“God, he’s so slow,” Trina said as her way of greeting Rebecca who was holding open the front door. Trina rolled her eyes at her husband, now ten paces behind, carrying their daughter, Jenny, the diaper bag, and Karlee’s present. Rebecca held her tongue. Trina could be a real handful: impatient, unkind, frustrating, and always demanding. But Gavin just fueled all of that by never standing up to her or her inexhaustible demands, and trying always to please the unpleasable.

The party was crowded and happy as they moved out onto her back deck, since it was so warm and pleasant. Conversations revolved around gossip and who was doing what. Nothing out of the ordinary and certainly nothing beyond the usual family get
-together.

There was no mention of Doug, or Rebecca’s ambition for writing. Of course, nothing like that, which would have inevitably made everyone uncomfortable.

Rebecca looked up when she heard the sudden squeal from Karlee. “Wob!” she yelled, her tiara flying off as she sprinted across the lawn. Rob was coming around the side of the house.

Rebecca was in the process of refilling someone’s lemonade when she spotted Rob.
Karlee flew with complete abandon towards him, and Rebecca set the pitcher carefully down on the table. Her stomach was already flipping with nerves and her heart swelled with joy.

Holy shit, she wasn’t just glad he was here
. It felt… well, like she could finally relax and enjoy the party because he was here. He came, and now she could really have some fun. The knowledge of that surprised her, and even flabbergasted her. She wanted Rob to be there with her. As a couple. The answer she couldn’t find last Saturday was simply right in front of her now. She wanted to be with Rob.

After a week of not seeing him, she not only missed him, but truly longed for him. She now felt at ease. Calm, even. But never more excited to see him. She was, it seemed, ready to have a new boyfriend.

There were other eyes that followed Karlee, and Rebecca knew Rob would hate that. The family. They were all watching him, and judging him. But still, he came, for her, and for Karlee. Despite how awkward, stupid, cold, and unsatisfying they left things previously, he still came.

Kathy soon followed Karlee, although she did not launch herself with the same unbridled abandon at Rob, but smiled shyly as she waved at him, standing next to his feet. Rob smiled at Kathy
and said something into her ear. He had a way with Kathy that made her come out of her introverted shell, and feel special, like she belonged. Rebecca, all at once, was startled to realize how much that meant to her, and to her girls. Possibly, even, for all of their futures.

Rob had on jeans, and a dark red shirt with another shirt underneath. It had white sleeves that covered his arms. His hair was combed and he shaved. He looked
so good to her, a rush of adrenaline nearly stopped her heart. He must have purposely worn long sleeves to hide his tattoos. For her? Or so he would not offend her mother? It was much too warm a day to wear long sleeves. She didn’t know how she felt, but there was no denying how different he looked from the men in her family. How did she feel about that? Embarrassed? She wasn’t sure. She only knew he looked really good to
her
.

“Rebecca,” her mother hissed. “What is
he
doing here?”

“Karlee invited him. And so did I,” she said
, after absorbing her mother’s glare.

“How could you encourage him with the girls? How could you bring him here?”

“Because they like him and I like him,” Rebecca said simply. Karlee was in Rob’s arms after begging him to pick her up. Rob finally looked around, his eyes seeking hers, and taking refuge when he found them. She smiled at him.

She met him at the edge of her large deck, but he didn’t smile. He look
ed grim. Nervous. She felt sorry that she didn’t make sure what he was to her before they found themselves in the  spotlight in front of her family.

“Hi Rebecca.” His gaze
slid over her. Did he like what he saw? To him, and the people of his crowd, she didn’t fit in, just as he didn’t in hers. They were an odd pair, yet looking into his eyes, everything made sense. And to her heart, they made more sense than anything else in her life.

“I’m so glad you came
, Rob.”

He looked past her. “Don’t think your family would agree with you.”

“Come on. Most of them don’t even know you.” She put her hand on his forearm, and he looked down, surprised at the contact. He was still holding Karlee, who had her hands securely wrapped around his neck.

Her two brother-in-laws didn’t have a clue who Rob was,
or what he was to her, so they said hello and seemed quite civilized and polite to Rob. They looked at her a little strangely, however, like they were wondering where Doug was, and what this new guy meant to Rebecca. Nonetheless, they were courteous and polite. The crowds of kids came and went. Some said hello to Rob, while others just played around the yard. Hers, however, were trailing Rob. What did that say?

Joelle came walking out of the house
before she stopped dead in her tracks. Rob stopped too, but finally nodded at her with his mouth tight. Nick was right behind Joelle and he also stopped, his face contorted with displeasure. Trina was suddenly standing before them and she didn’t look happy with Rebecca. Rebecca cringed. Trina didn’t like being kept out of the loop.

“Hey Rob,” Joelle said in a cheerful voice. “How’s it going?”

Trina glanced from Joelle to Rob, then to Nick, and then back to Joelle. Joelle sounded far friendlier to her ex-husband than she usually did to any of the Lassiters except Nick. Then again, when did Rebecca’s family do anything to make Joelle feel welcome, or try to change their standoffish ways with her?

“This your daughter?” Rob asked, looking at the little two-year-old sucking her thumb and holding Joelle’s hand.

“Yes, this is Jody.”

“She’s adorable. She looks just like you,” Rob said, looking at Jody a second longer th
an he probably would stare at any other child. Rebecca caught the undercurrent, of course, and the chance, once long ago, when they could have shared a child. Rebecca was, once again, stricken by how awkward this all was. How weird and strange. And yet, Rob was here because of her. She knew that. She knew that right down to her toes. He liked her, a lot, and didn’t know what to make of it, or how to act. But he wasn’t able to stay away from her, which he could have. He could have said no a thousand times, and refused to go to a family birthday party for her daughter. He could have showed up at ten o’clock at night like he did with his mysterious “friend” and probably get what he wanted. But he didn’t do that either. She was pretty sure Rob didn’t want to do that. He wanted to be there, just as much as he hated being there.

Rob’s gaze went to Nick, who scowled. He put his hand on Joelle’s back and gently pushed her forward so she’d walk past Rob.

Trina’s eyes suddenly bulged. “Oh my God, you’re
that
Rob. Joelle’s Rob.” Her voice was loud and shrill at her discovery. Rebecca wanted to groan. Her sister could never be subtle.

“I’m not anybody’s Rob,” he said casually
before Rebecca could shush and silence her sister. He smiled at her charmingly. “You must be Trina. Heard a lot about you.”

Trina
blew her cheeks out and frowned. She didn’t know quite what Rob meant. Rebecca had to put a hand to mouth to hide her smile at Rob’s ambiguous comment.

“What is he doing here?” Trina hissed to Rebecca, much as their mother did. Her eyes went from Rebecca to Rob
. “Rebecca, oh my God, are you...?