Zenith Fulfilled (21 page)

Rebecca shook her head. No way would she discuss her private sex life right there in middle of a family party. “Trina
, couldn’t you just say hello?”

“Hello to Joelle’s ex-husband? Why?” Trina a
sked, still staring, almost open-mouthed.

Rebecca
grabbed Rob’s hand and pulled him past her awful sister. Lately, nothing could make Trina happy. Her moods were becoming more sour towards everyone, in general. Finally, Rebecca decided she had to dodge her family members who were so blatantly staring at them, wondering what Rob was doing here.

She
dragged him into the laundry room off the kitchen, away from the crowd just to have a second of peace. She stopped, and turned, finally bringing Rob close to her, and putting her arms around his neck, before she went on her tiptoes and kissed him. His bewilderment was evident when he jerked back. Then his lips came down on hers and his arms came around her, as his middle pressed into her stomach. She sighed at the now familiar feel of him and leaned back, looking up at him.

“So
, were you going to call me?”

He scowled at her. “I was getting around to it.”

“Why did it take you so long?”

“Because I didn’t know what to say about last weekend. I had no clue what you thought. We didn’t exactly have any clear communication about it.”

“No, we didn’t. But it’s all I’ve thought about all week. Did you?”

He looked into her eyes, and his mouth seemed tight. She thought he was considering not answering her.

“Yeah, I thought about it a time or two.”

“How? As in, you screwed Nick’s sister, ha-ha? Or the other way, that you feel something too?”

“I told you before that you don’t have anything to do with how I feel about your brother.”

“So you feel something too?”

He hesitated and she could see he was struggling to be honest. He didn’t want to have this conversation. “Yeah, okay, I feel it.”

“Then why did you almost try to stop it? Was it what my brother said that night?”

“No. It’s that I don’t get what we’re doing together. We don’t match. But then, we do. I don’t get it.”

“I’m confused too, you know, but I missed you this week. And I couldn’t wait for you to get here today. I was almost pacing with anticipation.”

He considered her and his incredulity widened his eyes. Why? Because she was being honest and forthright about what happened? Perhaps that was the thing: she was always honest with him. And that’s what made him so different for her than anyone else.

“I’m glad to see you too.”

She smiled. “Good. It didn’t even kill you to say it to me.”

“Why did you invite me here? With your entire family? You saw your mom’s face, Trina’s, Nick’s, why do this?”

“Why did you come?

“Because you asked.”

She shrugged. Why indeed? She could quietly see Rob on the side; and secretly sleep with him, and no one would be the wiser. And Rob would let her slink around to be with him. But she was sure, Rob wouldn’t feel compelled to commit himself to her. She would become relegated to just being his “friend.” No way could that become her role.

“You know, I haven’t slept with any one since Doug. You knew already, not only from that, but also because together means a big deal to me. And I want it to be. I want them to know. So what? I’m not hiding it. There. That’s why. I’m not hiding it from you, or them, or Nick. But mostly, I want you to know that I want
them
to know.”

She could see his eyes filling with total apprehension. He never expected her to be so decided, and forthright, so out there. Neither did she. But seeing him walking up to the party, sparked an epiphany, and the clarity of how she felt towards him suddenly became very real and sharp. She was so glad to see him, it felt like everything would be okay when he walked up.
After years of feeling lost, alone, and disconnected, even in a crowd, Rob’s arrival made her feel complete, and part of something bigger. And better. Rob made everything feel better.

“Aren’t you hot in this?” she finally asked, tugging at his long sleeves.

He shrugged. “Seemed like not deliberately antagonizing your mother anymore than she already is might be a good idea.”

“And Nick? My siblings? Take it off. It’s too hot to wear today.”

He regarded her. “You don’t really want me exposing my tattoos right under your mother’s nose.”

“Rob, I get how different we look from each other. And to other people. But if we can’t be ourselves, even with each other, then this is going nowhere. I can’t hide my three kids, any more than you can hide your tattoos. They are a fact, and a part of us. So yes, I want you to be comfortable. And it’s too hot for long sleeves.”

He stared at her before finally lifting off both shirts, at once, and separating the long and short-sleeved. She watched simply because she was unable to resist. In the light of her laundry room, his chest was sculpted, tapering down to his waist, with a long ridge of six-pack abs, and strong shoulders and sinewy biceps. The ink and colors of his arms stopped just at his shoulders. His skin was dark, tanned, and swarthy. He was so hot, she felt her own temperature rise a few degrees. Then he pulled the t-shirt down, and covered the sight of his perfect chest.

She glanced up at him and found he was looking at her. “There. Is this what you want your mother to see? I don’t suppose trotting out your bad-ass lover, will win too many points with Mom? Or was that your intention?”

She sighed and put her hands on his arms. “Boyfriend, Rob. My bad-ass, tattooed
boyfriend.
And no, it’s not going to win me any points.”

“Your what?”

“Boyfriend. What did you think? I was going to have you here in front of my kids, and my family as my, well, what would you be other than my boyfriend?”

“Rebecca, I don’t know…”

“Well, what other word is there to call us? Look me in the eye now and say what I am, if you intend to tell me I am
not
your girlfriend.”

His lips compressed. “You know how to push a guy into a corner, don’t you?”

She smiled. “I do, especially when he deserves it. You didn’t call me all week.”

“I caught that the first time you complained about it. So I should call next time?”

She nodded. “How long has it been since you’ve had a real girlfriend?”

He shook his head. “Oh God, Rebecca, if I answer that, then we’re right back to where we always end up.”

“Nick and Joelle.”

“Yeah.”

“No, we’re not. We’re right here. You and I. Rob and Rebecca. Please tell me you see that too.”

He shut his eyes,
but finally shook his head. “I see that. Us. That’s why I didn’t call you all week.”

“I would have thought that would have given you a reason why you should.”

“Look, I didn’t intend to end up with a married woman, with three impressionable, young kids. So yeah, it’s a good reason for me to avoid you. It’s a reason I would try to stay out of here.”

“I see. But you’re here now.”

“Yeah. I’m here,” he said as his lips descended onto hers.

Rebecca found herself looking at Nick as he came around the laundry room corner. He stopped dead when he took in Rob leaning against the washing machine, and Rebecca in his arms. They appeared very close, talking right into each other’s faces. Intimate, even. Rebecca casually took a step back and dropped her hands as Rob let her go. All the while, Nick glared at her,
and then at Rob.

Rob straightened his posture, and Nick pale
d right before her eyes. Rebecca felt bad, knowing how much this, and she, upset her brother. But she knew she couldn’t help it either.

“Mom said she needs more plastic plates,” Nick finally said in a
wooden voice to her.

“Oh, sure. I’ll grab them. Uh, Nick, would you mind not looking like you’re going to kill Rob? Because I have to get lunch on now and I can’t stay here to referee you two.”

Nick bristled and Rob shuffled his feet. “Please, guys. This is my daughter’s birthday. She wants, no, I want you both here. That’s just the way it is, and what you both have to live with.”

Nick finally took a step back, shaking his head in disbelief. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing here
, Rebecca?”

“I do
, Nick. You’ve always trusted me. Why would you stop now?”

“I know what Rob’s capable of, so don’t forget that. I just don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Hurt? Me?” she said in a strange voice. She looked at Rob, then Nick, and shook her head. “You really don’t get it, do you? I’ve been hurt for two years! Finally, now, for the last few weeks, I haven’t been. Get that, both of you! Doug, my husband, nearly destroyed me; and Rob’s putting some of me back together.”

Rob’s entire expression changed to disbelief, nearly mirroring Nick’s
.

Nick sighed. “It’s just…”

“What?”

“I never said anything about Doug. Even when I should have. So this time…”

“You still don’t get to comment. I love you, you know that. I never intended to hurt you or Joelle. You’re just going to have to trust me. And you must admit, that you like me and Joelle finally being friends, don’t you?”

“You could have given her a chance four years ago.”

Rebecca nodded. “I made a mistake with Joelle. Now I’m asking you not to do the same thing to me with Rob.”

Nick sighed, long and deep. “God damn, why didn’t you just become a lawyer? You can argue in and around anything, and still get your way.”

Rebecca smiled. Both men scowled at her and then at each other. She shook her head and passed through them. For now, she couldn’t hide any longer, she had a party to hostess.

****

Rob was left alone with Nick, who was still scowling at him.

“I take it you’re sleeping with my sister now? What happened to not taking advantage of her?”

“Have you noticed your sister? Tell me exactly how I’ve taken advantage of her? If anything, it’s the other way around. Look, I think this is just as bad of an idea as you do. Believe me, I do. But she thinks… well, fuck, I don’t know what she thinks is advantageous about me being here.”

Nick eyed his arms.
“My mom hates tattoos.”

“Just like she did on Joelle. You want Rebecca to find a nice guy like you; I get that. I really do. And not your wife’s ex-husband. I agree with that too. But...”

“But what?”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking completely frustrated. Far more frustrated with himself than Nick could ever be.
“But I don’t know. We just kind of… work. I didn’t mean to end up at your niece’s party with your sister, any more than you intended to end up marrying Joelle.”

Why did he come here? He could have avoided all of it, everything. He could have simply said no. But… here he was.
Rebecca asked him, and he wanted to see her. He also wanted to see her daughters. And furthermore, he didn’t want to disappoint any of them.

What
was he supposed to do with that? Or the sudden sense of responsibility towards this woman and her kids? Her kids had nothing to do with him, but still, he felt compelled to be there for them... despite Nick, Joelle, Doug, and every other reason he could think of for why he and Rebecca made such an impossible match.

Rob pushed past Nick and entered the kitchen, only to be met by three women, all staring at him. They stopped what they were doing and gawked unapologetically at him. Rebecca’s mother and her two older sisters were staring as if he were a rack of lamb they intended to stick a steak knife through before roasting.

He
r mother took in his entire appearance, starting with his facial piercings and ending with his arms. “Mrs. Lassiter,” Rob finally said, drawing her gaze back up to his face.

She started to open her mouth to respond when
an unexpected squeal stopped her. Before Rob knew it, Kathy was there, wrapping her arms around his trunk, and hugging him happily, her eyes shining up at him. He patted her head and thought that wouldn’t go over very well with the prying eyes of Kathy’s grandmother and aunts staring at them.

“Hey Kathy.”

“We’re going to play a game of horse; will you play it with me? I’m not very good at it.”

“Sure. I’ll meet you out there in a few minutes.” Thank God! Anything to avoid Rebecca’s mother! Nick was one thing, and Rob could’ve told him off twelve times in a single day. Not so, however, with Rebecca’s mom.

He wasn’t sure how he could survive the day.

Rob pass
ed the ladies and was walking down the hallway when the bathroom door opened unexpectedly, and he found himself face-to-face with Trina. She was an attractive girl, with blond hair, neat clothes, and a pretty face. Her eyes however, looked icy and cruel. They were also bloodshot. She smiled at him, but it was more like a sneer, an expression he couldn’t name for sure, but it caused him to take a step back. The girl had something clutched tightly in her hands and her mood seemed completely different than it was only twenty minutes ago.

Rob stared at her for a few moments and she stared back. “What are you doing with Becky? She can’t be your type.”

He didn’t intend to discuss Rebecca with this bitch! “Tell me, Trina, what do you take? Valium? Oxycontin? What? What gets you through your day?”

She stepped back, and her eyes grew rounder, before they narrowed. “How dare you suggest that, you... you addict, and freak!”

“Takes one to know one,” he replied quietly. Rob could tell; and felt as sure as he was about his own addiction that the girl was juiced up on something. Her eyes looked unfocused, her mood changes were too drastic, not to mention the increase in their frequency that Rebecca remarked upon. Either Trina was a closet drinker, or she, more likely, just self-medicated with bogus prescription drugs to help her cope with the life she so obviously didn’t enjoy.

Trina suddenly hauled back her hand to slap him, but he grabbed her wrist just before she connected. He held it firmly, using just enough pressure for her to stop resisting. “You fool all of them because they never even think about it
, do they? They don’t need any help to get through their days. I know, Trina. I’ve been there. Must be hard, trying to keep it concealed from such a close-knit family and such normal siblings. Be careful though, Joelle will surely recognize the signs. If she hasn’t already.”

Trina spat at him, but m
issed, and it slid down the wall behind him. He released her wrist. “Your secret, Trina. But you need to get help. Call me if it ever gets too much. I’m about the only one who knows what it’s like.”

Rob walked past her, and thought perhaps he shouldn’t have let on about what he suspected. And what her hostile reaction tacitly confirmed. But he couldn’t help it. She seemed t
oo vile, and so angry because she couldn’t stand living her own life while constantly trying to hide her addiction. She was nearly screaming for one of them to notice. But no one did. What did that say? They were just too nice to suspect such a thing? Or no one cared enough to notice? Or possibly, to confront her?

Rob found Kathy waiting, and already bouncing a basketball on the concrete pa
d. He assumed Doug Randall probably poured it for his daughters to shoot hoops. It was about the only pavement around for at least a mile. It wasn’t long before several more of the fifteen nieces that comprised the Lassiter clan went out there and joined them. Rob assumed he must’ve drawn them to him because he looked so different from their own fathers. Several girls asked about his tattoos without any repulsion or disgust. On the contrary, they were utterly fascinated as they all traced and tried to figure out each design on his arms. Some, however,  Rob did not identify for them or explain what they meant. At the time he originally got them, he wasn’t exactly looking for something that was kiddie-friendly.

The princess and the spotlight of the party, however, was Karlee. She
smiled and giggled and yelled, as she insisted on taking her turn first every time, while loudly proclaiming she was the “Birthday Girl.” Lunch was eventually served: a long buffet of salads, rolls, homemade dips, and breads. Everything was delicious, and all the women contributed. Rob had never eaten anything like it, much less, amidst so many members of the same family. Rebecca was busy, like hardly finding room to breathe-busy. She moved in and out of the house, filling drinks and clearing plates for kids, while taking orders from her siblings. She caught his eye a time or two and smiled. She even blushed, and her freckles stood out brightly against her pink complexion.

Rob felt something… but what? His heartbeat increased with her smiles, and her blushes. Rob never thought of a blush as anything but a sign
of embarrassment. With Rebecca, however, it became a tacit affirmation that she cared he was looking at her.
She cared
, and knowing that did something to him. It was also not lost on him that she invited him there against all the odds. She wanted him there, and called him her boyfriend.

“Wob
, thit by me, ‘kay?” Karlee said, holding out her princess plate with a peanut butter sandwich and fries. As it turned out, Karlee wouldn’t eat most of what was prepared in her honor.

“It’d be a privilege, Your Highness,” he said, winking at her. Karlee giggled and led him to two chairs that were close together on the deck. Chatting away, Kathy came over to sit next to them, and much to
his surprise, Kayla sat only two chairs away. She glanced over at him with a wary look, and he didn’t know what she thought. Or knew. Kayla probably knew more than the other two, who were so young and trusting. Kayla must have known better, Rob saw it in her face, and heard it in her attitude. She knew some men left, and some dads left, and any new men in her mom’s life right now might not be such a good thing.

Rob didn’t know what to do about being Karlee’s guest of honor. She made sure he was always right next to her, and quite visible to everyone’s watchful eyes. Finally, when the meal was done, people wandered in, getting rid of their garbage and refilling their drinks. The afternoon soon became almost hot, reaching nearly eighty degrees. The sunlight dappled through the trees onto the lawn. With a blue, cloudless sky overhead, and various birds chirping, the air smelled fresh and clean, like
newly mown grass. Rob looked down at the lawn, wondering who could’ve mown the two-plus acres of lawn surrounding them. Rebecca? Where the hell did she find the time?

The thought of that made him start
jonesing for a cigarette.

“Mommy, can I open my
pwethenth now?”

Rebecca stopped rushing around and replied, “Of course. Just give me five minutes.” Rebecca gathered everyone on the deck, and brought the presents out, before grabbing a video camera,
as well as a digital. Then she nodded at Karlee who clapped her hands with glee as she picked through the oversized pile. Rob wished he didn’t have to sit right next to the pink, ruffled princess, especially when everyone began looking their way. Then Karlee suddenly sat up, and turned.

“Wob? Which
one’th yorth?”

He sighed. The sweet, little girl really didn’t know
how she made things even more uncomfortable for him. Why did she care so much about him being there? Or his present when she had twenty others just sitting there? He reached into his pocket, and all eyes were fastened on him. Even Rebecca’s. Her face looked worried, like she was ready to rush over and cover Karlee’s ever-running mouth.

Rob didn’t know what to buy a four-year-old girl, who could give an hour-long narrative about
every princess that ever lived, right down to the dresses they wore and when.

Rob handed Karlee the little box, wrapped in, what else? Pink paper. Even he noticed after seeing her pink and magenta bedroom, that her favorite color was pink. Karlee grinned up at him, her bright eyes shining. How could he get mad at such enthusiasm? Even if it were being directed towards him?

She tore open the package, and flipped the top of the small box. With a shrill squeal, she ran to her mother, and pulled out the necklace she found in there. Rebecca took it from her and looked down at the gold chain with a small, crown-shaped pendant. A pink stone twinkled off the tip of the crown. Then Rebecca’s eyes met his. He felt everyone watching them, judging, and wondering. Rebecca finally smiled as she took the necklace and put it on Karlee’s neck, who pranced around gaily, and went straight to Nick, of all people, to show him what her friend, Wob, had given her.

Rob didn’t often get embarrassed and usually didn’t care much about what others thought. Right then, howev
er, he wished the damn deck would swallow him up. Then Karlee was beside him again, with her baby arms flung around his neck. “Thank you, Wob, it’th my mothe favowite pwethent ever.”

He awkwardly patted her back, suddenly unsure of how he should react, or if he should hug her back when they were clearly the subject of the entire Lassiter family’s merciless scrutiny.

Then Karlee returned to her other presents. Sitting on the ground, she plowed through them all. Barbies, dress-up clothes, regular new clothes, and the oohs followed the ahhs, one after another. Rob noticed Rebecca, however, was watching him, obviously with something on her mind.

Then again, so were Nick, Joelle, Debbie and further back, so was Trina.

****

Rebecca watched Rob playing around with the girls. It appeared to be some version of hide ‘n’ seek with a touch of tag. Whenever Karlee got confused, Rob picked her up and pretended to make her fly in order to catch her bigger cousins and sisters. He was good with the kids; no, great, actually. He soon had them all laughing
and screaming with joy.

“Rebecca? Need any help cleaning up?”

Rebecca turned from watching Rob with her kids to her older sisters, now both standing there, Carrie and Sophie. They were both overweight, but wore it well, beneath expensive clothes and big hairdos. They were both happily married with lots of kids between them. Neither worked, but thrived as mothers, organized wives, and busy, soccer moms. Rebecca pushed some dishes towards them, and they all started washing and drying them together.

“Do you guys remember the first night Joelle ever came to dinner with us? How we cornered her in the kitchen, and we weren’t very nice to her?”

Carrie nodded. “Yes, because she was married to him,” she said, pointing out the window towards Rob.

“We were wrong to do that to her that night. She was never fully accepted into this family because we all decided against her before we knew better.”

“Is that what you’re saying here? That this guy is… what to you?”

Rebecca shut her eyes. “I don’t know
, Sophie. I don’t really know. Other than that I like him. And he likes me. And maybe when Nick told us that about Joelle, we should have listened to him and respected it.”

“Joelle was married, remember?.”

Rebecca opened her eyes. “So am I. But at the same time, I’m not married, not really. And maybe now, I know how Joelle felt. I’m tired and lonely. And he makes me feel better. I don’t know why he does. I really don’t. So don’t start. Don’t point out every reason why he’s wrong for me or them,” Rebecca said as she waved towards her girls.

“Karlee’s already over the moon for him. How could you let that happen?”

“I didn’t. It just did.”

“What about Nick? That must kill him.”

Rebecca bristled. “You know what? Since when do any of us care so much for Nick? Joelle makes him so happy, but we never even noticed. We ignored it. So we could be right about her. But we weren’t. She’s…”

“She’s what?” They all turned towards the door
at hearing Joelle’s voice.

Rebecca smiled. “She’s my good friend.”

Joelle smiled back, then looked at Sophie and Carrie. “Part of this is my fault. I backed off. I never gave any of you a chance, really, even after Nick and I got married.”

“And I’m begging you guys not to do the same thing to Rob. It isn’t his fault. It’s mine. I pursued him. I wanted to write a book about him. Everything else, just happened. And I don’t regret it,” Rebecca finished.

“How is that bestseller going? Sold it yet, Rebecca?”

This coming from the laundry room where Trina was walking in. Rebecca slouched. She couldn’t talk about that with Trina listening, not about her most private hopes and dreams. It would just be fodder for her little, unhappy sister’s criticism.

“No.”

“Y
ou don’t have to be such a bitch. To me, to Nick, to Rob and certainly, not to your own sister,” Joelle spoke up.