Zombie CSU (29 page)

In the movies the doctors are often bitten or are too scared to work with the infected.

“I would doubt that these movies are written by medical doctors, my friend. I don’t know a pathologist worth his salt who would back away from that. This would be the kind of thing we got into science for. The chance to learn something new, to add to the body of knowledge, to make a significant impact on medical history…that’s why we went to med school in the first place. We all had dreams of being scientific pioneers, but the reality is that most of what we do is routine. Crucial, to be sure, but it is routine.

“Now you ask if we would be so shocked that we’d become zombie food? That’s not an outcome I can ever see happening. Understand, every pathologist, coroner or medical examiner I’ve ever met has had weird experiences, or knows someone who has. Corpses turn out not to be dead. You unzip a body bag and there’s your next door neighbor. Corpses are wheeled in with erections or big grins on their faces. You see it all after a while.”

So, no panic?

“No way. If a body started moving I’d be making a lot of calls right away. I’d have staff flooding the place; and, God forbid, if the corpse tried to bite me, I’d probably flee the room and lock the door, then call security. Remember, by the time we start conducting a post mortem the body has probably been wrapped in plastic and stored in a cold room for hours if not days. That means that even if we are talking a reanimated corpse it will be a very cold, very stiff, and very
slow
reanimated corpse. I’m over sixty but I play golf and tennis and I swim. If I can’t outrun a half-frozen zombie then I’m not trying.”

What about the psychological effects?

“Sure, there would be some, especially as we began to explore the pathology and realized that we had, in fact, an actual zombie. Views would change, nerves would be affected. That’s what therapists are for. But the big picture is that rather than be terrified of this we’d all be excited by it. It would be seen as an opportunity for a massive leap in medical knowledge. Everyone would want to book time to be in that autopsy suite. You’d have doctors flying in from every country on earth.”

What about a global epidemic?

“Most of the best doctors today, the young lions of pathology, got into it because of pandemics like AIDS. You think there’s a pathologist alive who doesn’t hope that someday they’re going to perform a necropsy and find something, some clue, some new direction that will lead to answers or to a cure? We study the diseases of the body with the hope, open or secret, of making a real difference. In forensic pathology mostly what we do is help prosecutors convict criminals. Very worthy, very important, but that doesn’t change the world. If a zombie plague existed, the best—the absolute
best
—in the field would be aching to take a shot at the case. Depend upon it.”

J
UST THE
F
ACTS

The Coroner’s Office

Not all bodies are autopsied, but virtually all bodies associated with violent crime are. A postmortem examination performed on a body associated with a crime (or suspected crime) is known as a forensic autopsy. If a body is presented with an uncertain cause of death, an autopsy becomes even more crucial, and the surgical exploration, the examination of the organs and tissues, and the tests performed on blood and other bodily fluids often reveal what might otherwise go unnoticed.

Expert Witness

I spoke with experts at the Los Angeles County Department of Coroner to learn how this process works, particularly in connection with a criminal case. According to Lt. David Smith of the Investigations Division, “We have the best forensic doctors in the world working here. We are a teaching facility and have an extensive intern program that attracts future pathologists to study here from monthly residents to yearly interns. We have a caseload of 20–40 bodies daily and because the population is so big and diverse, there is little to nothing that we haven’t already seen at least once.”

How soon after a homicide does the coroner’s office generally take possession of a body? “That would depend on where the person died,” Lt. Smith says. “If they die at a hospital, we generally take possession of the body within 2–3 days (we have a lot of hospitals in this County and over 5,000 miles to cover to get to them). If they die at a residence or crime scene, then we pick up the same day, usually within a couple of hours of being notified of the death by police. We allow the police to conduct their investigation and recover evidence before we recover the body.”

When asked which types of crime require an autopsy, he said, “Under California law, anyone who dies by means other than natural causes is a Coroner’s case. Even those cases who die of natural causes but have not seen a doctor in the 20 days preceding their death is a Coroner’s case. The pathologist is the person who will decide what type or level of autopsy an individual will receive. In L.A. County because of our high workload, we pick and choose which case receives a full autopsy. All homicides, regardless of circumstances will receive a full autopsy. Males under the age of fifty with no known medical condition will get one. Females under the age of sixty with no known medical conditions will get one. Traffic accident victims will usually receive a limited autopsy to include blood draw for BAC (Blood alcohol content), a drug panel, possibly x-rays and a superficial examination only (you don’t have to do a full autopsy to determine that a person died of multiple traumatic injuries when you can just look at a person and make that determination). A suicide death of gunshot wound to head would get a limited autopsy if the bullet didn’t exit (they would open up the head and retrieve the projectile). They would draw blood for toxicology and that would be all. Males fifty years of age and older and females sixty years of age and over with no signs of trauma and no foul play suspected would get a blood draw only and their death would be recorded as ‘Arteriosclerotic Cardiovascular disease.’ This is a medical determination after years of study of bodies that have shown us that individuals in this age range almost always have the disease therefore autopsy is not required to prove it.”

And the turnaround time for a postmortem? “During our slower times of year, once we receive a body, normal turnaround time is 2–3 days. During our busier times of the year (holidays, Christmas and late summer), turnaround time can be as much as 2 weeks. We make every effort to accommodate homicide detectives when we can. Under California law, detectives have 72 hours to charge someone who is in custody of a crime or let them go. When it is unsure if a murder has taken place, this would be most relevant and we push these people to the ‘front of the line’ when we can to help out. The Coroner’s office is an independent entity and does not have policy or practice dictated to it from other law enforcement agencies.”

Lt. Smith adds that there are investigators at the coroner’s office who sometimes participate in the investigation: “Coroner Investigators serve as the eyes, ears, nose, etc. of the pathologist who is not able to go to a scene of death. The Coroner Investigator is charged with taking scene photos, interviewing witnesses, family, detectives, police officers and anyone else who might have information related to the death of the person. Investigators collect forensic evidence at a scene to include: hair samples, fingernail clippings and scrapings, GSR (Gunshot Residue collection), weapon recovery (firearms are collected and turned over to law enforcement for storage, all other weapons are brought into the office and placed in evidence). Investigators collect personal property and search for next of kin information, as the Coroner is the entity charged under law with the obligation of notifying the family.”

I asked Lt. Smith to comment on the differences between real-world postmortems and the versions portrayed in films. “You’re not going to find a dark room with the single overhead light and the family standing in the room identifying a body that is pulled out of a cooler on a tray. We do not allow the families to view bodies while in our possession. If identification is an issue for us—no fingerprints on file, no x-rays, etc.—we would allow a family member to view a Polaroid facial photograph of the decedent to establish the identification.”

Why the precautions? “Due to all of the contamination risks, smells, numerous bodies, etc. family members are never allowed on the service floor to view bodies or witness autopsies.”

Joyee Kato, who works in the Decedent Notification section of the Los Angeles County Department of Coroner discussed the process of notifying the next of kin in a murder case. “The coroner has responsibility to identify and notify the legal Next-of-kin (NOK) of death. However in Homicides, we allow the Handling Homicide Detectives to attempt notification first. We would then follow up with them in a couple of days. If they are unsuccessful—we would take over and search for NOK on our own. If the NOK is not present at the scene, our Investigator would begin searching for NOK info immediately. If they locate information, the ideal approach would be to make the notification in person. When done in person, we would usually request PD
¹⁵
to accompany us in case the information causes the medical assistance or the notification results in violence. If NOK info is not readily available, we would continue to search for family back at the office using various resources at our disposal such as arrest history, DMV, special search websites, witness interviews, request report and so on.”

I asked Lt. Smith about the scenes in films where a body is laid out with a sheet covering it—which falls off as the zombie or vampire rises. You see the same thing in the forensic-themed TV shows. It’s all very dramatic, but how likely is it? Lt. Smith was very eloquent on this point: “Bodies are never just covered with a sheet. All of the bodies are wrapped in plastic when they are picked up, with a sheet overlapping the plastic. This is to protect people and equipment from body leakage. I’m sure there’s probably more than what I have listed but the truth to be told is, I do not watch the forensic shows—I get enough at work! And they tend to make me laugh at the way they do things. I mean…I wish we could solve a case in an hour, and have forensic evidence literally dripping around a crime scene for us to find and use!”

The Zombie Factor

Now the crucial question: What if the corpse turned out to be infected? “It depends on what they are infected with,” advises Lt. Smith. “We have had several cases of bubonic plague come through the office (yes, it’s still around). We notify the L.A. County Public Health Nurse of any contagious disease that we receive—spinal meningitis, tuberculosis, plague, etc. Anything that might be a public health risk is reported to the nurse who in turn follows up with notifying any other agencies that might need to be contacted as well as notifying family and/or friends who may have had contact with the decedent prior to the death and who may be at risk. Serious health risk cases are locked up in special refrigeration units isolated from the rest of the decedents and staff and key-controlled by authorized personnel only.”