Zoolarious Animal Jokes for Kids (6 page)
Q: Where did the fish go each morning?
A: To their school.
Q: What does a racehorse like to eat for lunch?
A: Fast food.
Q: What do you give a mouse on its birthday?
A: Cheese-cake.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Iguana.
Iguana who?
Iguana come in, so please open up!
Emma: If Noah got milk from the cows, eggs from the chickens, and wool from the sheep on the ark, what did he get from the ducks?
Leah: I don't know, Emma, what?
Emma: Quackers!
Q: Which animal on the ark had the highest IQ?
A: The giraffe!
Q: What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
A: Hot Cross Bunnies.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
I'm tired of knocking, so owl see you later.
Q: What do cobras put on their bathroom floor?
A: Rep-tiles.
Q: What's a cow's favorite painting?
A: The Moo-na Lisa.
Q: What is a bee's favorite toy?
A: A fris-bee!
Q: What is a dolphin's favorite game show?
A: Whale of Fortune.
Q: What does a goat use when it's camping?
A: A sheeping bag.
Q: What kind of dog is good at chemistry?
A: A Lab-rador retriever.
Q: What is a lightning bug's favorite game?
A: Hide and glow seek.
Q: Why did the cat go to the beauty salon?
A: It needed a pet-icure.
Q: How did the leopard lose its spots?
A: It took a bath and came out spotless.
Q: What did the firefly say before the big race?
A: “Ready, set, glow!”
Q: What did the firefly have for lunch?
A: A light meal.
Q: What did the wolf say when it met its new neighbors?
A: “Howl are you doing?”
Q: Why don't goats mind their own business?
A: Because they're always butting in.
Q: What did the mother possum say to her son?
A: “Quit hanging around all day and do something!”
Q: Why did the cat vanish into thin air?
A: Because it drank evaporated milk.
Q: Where do cows go to dance?
A: The meatball.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Seal.
Seal who?
My lips are sealed until you open the door!
Q: What lives in a hole, has horns, and runs really fast?
A: An ant-elope.
Q: What kind of tree has the most bark?
A: The dogwood tree.
Q: Why didn't the bug feel like doing anything?
A: Because it was a slug.
Q: What's a bird's favorite movie?
A: Batman and Robin.
Q: What happened to the worm when it didn't clean its room?
A: It was grounded.
Q: Why did the cat have trouble using its computer?
A: Because it kept eating the mouse.
Q: Why did the mosquito wake up in the middle of the night?
A: It was having a bite-mare.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Goat.
Goat who?
You're getting my goatâjust let me in!
Q: What is a wolf's favorite treat?
A: Pigs in a blanket.
Q: What is a wolf's favorite book?
A: Little Howl on the Prairie.
Q: What did the bird wear to the ball?
A: A duck-sedo (tuxedo).
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: To eat the chickens on the other side.
Q: When can an elephant sit under an umbrella and not get wet?
A: When it's not raining.
Q: What is the sleepiest dinosaur?
A: The Bronto-snore-ous.
Q: What do you get when a rhinoceros goes running through your garden?
A: Squash.
Q: Why did the dog quit playing football?
A: The game got too ruff (rough).
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a cow?
A: A ham-burger.
Q: What do you do if a cow won't give milk?
A: You mooove on to the udder one.
Q: Why did the horse wake up in the middle of the night?
A: It was having a night-mare.
Q: What do you get when a pig does karate?
A: Pork chops!
Q: Where do cats shop for their toys?
A: From a toy cat-alog.
Q: How are A's just like flowers?
A: Bees follow them.
Q: Where do fish like to sleep?
A: On their water beds.
Q: What kind of birds like to stick together?
A: Vel-crows.
Q: What do you get when you cross a salmon and an elephant?
A: Swim trunks.
Q: What is a frog's favorite snack?
A: French flies.
Q: What is big, gray, and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant.
Q: Why do fish make good lawyers?
A. Because they like de-bait.
Q: What do you get when a barn full of cows won't give milk?
A: Udder chaos.
Q: What do you call it when one cow is spying on another cow?
A: A steak out.
Tim: My dog keeps chasing people on a bike!
Tom: Why don't you put him on a leash?
Tim: No, I think I'll just take his bike away.
Q: What's a cow's favorite game?
A: Moo-sical chairs.
Q: What kind of keys never unlock anything?
A: Monkeys, turkeys, and donkeys.
Jill: How do elephants smell?
Jane: Not very good!
Q: What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?
A: A cowboy on a horse.
Q: Where do bears keep their clothes?
A: In a claw-set (closet).
Q: What kind of bugs wear sneakers?
A: Shoo flies (shoe flies).
Q: What game do leopards always lose?
A: Hide and seekâthey always get spotted.
Q: Why are snails shy at parties?
A: They don't want to come out of their shell.
Q: Why did the bull owe so much money?
A: Because it always charged.
Q: What is a chicken's favorite game?
A: Duck, duck, goose.
Q: Did you hear about the dog that didn't have any teeth?
A: Its bark was worse than its bite.
Q: What do dogs have that no other animals have?
A: Puppies.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Fur.
Fur who?
I'm waiting fur you to open the door!
Q: What has a horn but does not honk?
A: A rhinoceros.
Q: Why do dragons sleep all day?
A: Because they like to hunt knights.
Q: What kind of bone is hard for a dog to eat?
A: A trombone.
Q: How did the gorilla fix its bike?
A: With a monkey wrench.
Q: What is a woodpecker's favorite kind of joke?
A: A knock-knock joke.
Q: What do you call a story about a giraffe?
A: A tall tale.
Q: What did the vet give to the sick parakeet?
A: A special tweetment.
Anna: Can a seagull eat fifty fish in an hour?
Leah: No, but a peli-can!
Q: What kind of bee is good for your health?
A: Vitamin B.
Q: What do you get when you put a pig in a blender?
A: Bacon bits.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with suitcases.
Q: What kind of dogs can tell time?
A: Watchdogs.
