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Authors: Gary Provost

100 Ways to Improve Your Writing (Mentor Series) (13 page)

BOOK: 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing (Mentor Series)
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There are times when you will need to split an infinitive in order to make the meaning of your sentence clear. Do so, but do so only when the split is neccessary.
 
8. Avoid These Common Mistakes
 
In addition to major grammatical mistakes, there are a good many minor mistakes to be made, and nobody’s hands are completely clean. We all have a few grammatical rules that we can never quite nail down despite our “ears” for language. Many people cannot remember the difference between
who
and
whom. (Who
is nominative case, and
whom
is objective case, as in “Who is going to the prom with you, and with whom did she go last year?”) Many writers use
like
as a conjunction (She walks like she’s got a train to catch), even though most grammarians insist it be used only as a preposition (It looks like a luxury car, and it rides like a dream). And almost everybody gets confused about
lay
and
lie.
(And with good reason. Lay means to put something down, and lie means to recline, but the past tense of
lie
is, would you believe,
lay.
)
 
Minor mistakes like these might confuse, disturb, or disgust your reader, depending on which mistakes you make, how often you make them, and who the reader is. It’s arbitrary. When I wear an editor’s hat, I don’t mind a writer using
who
instead of
whom,
or occasionally using
like
as a conjunction. On the other hand, I would be inclined to reject the writer who consistently used
like
as a conjunction (even though Shakespeare did it), or who wrote, “I lied down for a nap.”
 
When it comes to minor grammatical mistakes, readers don’t all draw lines at the same place. But all readers have a limited number of grammatical mistakes that they will forgive, so you should at least aim for grammatical perfection except when you can improve the writing by breaking a rule of grammar.
 
Many grammatical errors occur because the writer tries too hard
not
to make a mistake. Instead of trusting his or her ear for language, the writer reacts to some traumatic correction in childhood. Most of us, for example, once said, “Jimmy and me are going to the movies,” and had some impolite adult snap at us, “It’s ‘Jimmy and I are going to the movies.’ ” Many people were corrected so often that they now change all their
me’s
to
I
’s and write things like “The contract was given to Jimmy and I.” (It should be “Jimmy and me.”
I
is nominative,
me
is objective.) Or, having been bawled out for saying, “I played bad,” when he should have said, “I played badly,” the kid turns into an adult who writes things like “I feel badly about your loss,” when he means that he feels bad about your loss. The problem is that the writer recalls the specific words involved instead of the pertinent rule, which was not explained.
 
9. Be Sensitive to Changes in the Language
 
Even if you know all the rules of grammar, you’re covered only for today, not tomorrow. The rules change. Grammar is a living thing; it grows to meet new needs.
 
An obvious example of this is something called the degenderization of language. The feminist movement has successfully lifted our consciousness about the fact that English pronouns of unspecified gender are always male, a fact that contributes to the idea that males are the regular folk and females are something else. It is good grammar but poor feminism to write, “A doctor should always clean his stethoscope before checking someone’s heart.”
 
Several solutions to the problem have been suggested. Among them are
he/she, his/her,
and
s/he.
None has really caught on. What is catching on, however, is “A doctor should always clean their stethoscope,” an error in number that is perpetrated by people who would rather offend grammarians than feminists. It’s good feminism but bad grammar, and I don’t like it. In fact, to be perfectly honest about it, I hate it. But I’m starting to get used to it, and it seems to be earning its way into the language. If it proves to be made of hearty stuff, I will welcome it.
 
The point is that it’s bad grammar today, but it might be good grammar ten years from now. Today’s rules have no better shot at immortality than
thee
and
thou
had.
 
10. Prefer Good Writing to Good Grammar
 
Keep in mind that good grammar, even perfect grammar, does not guarantee good writing any more than a good referee guarantees a good basketball game.
 
“It is my objective to utilize my management expertise more fully, than has heretofore been the case” is acceptable grammar but poor writing because it is poor communication. The sentence should read, “I’m looking for a better job.” On the other hand, “I ain’t got no money” is terrible grammar but could be good writing in some context by communicating
exactly
what the writer wants to communicate.
 
There are many writing situations in which inferior grammar makes for superior writing. You could use poor grammar to reveal the character of a narrator, as Mac Hyman did in
No Time for Sergeants
(Random House).
 
 
 
The thing was, we had gone fishing that day and Pa had wore himself out with it the way he usually did when he went fishing. I mean he went at it pretty hard and called the fish all sorts of names
—
he lost one pretty nice one and hopped up in the boat and banged the pole down in the water which was about enough to scare a big-sized alligator away, much less a fish, and he spent most of the afternoon after that cussing and ranting at everything that happened.
 
 
You could use poor grammar in an essay or an opinion piece to establish a certain tone: “Marvin Hagler and Ray Leonard go at each other tonight in the Centrum, and it ain’t going to be pretty.”
 
You can also use faulty grammar in a story or novel to characterize people, places, and events, or to establish a casual, conversational tone. In this example, poor grammar does both jobs: “Moose asked every guy in the bar if they had seen Helen. Nobody knew nothing. Moose looked like he was going to tear the place apart.” There are three grammatical mistakes in those three sentences, but they are all intentional and they are all doing some work.
 
Whenever you knowingly use poor grammar, you should ask yourself two questions. The first: Is my meaning clear? If the answer is no, rewrite. The second question: What am I getting in return for the poor grammar? If you can’t answer that, don’t use poor grammar.
 
So strive most of all for good writing, but make proper grammar your rule and improper grammar your exception. Don’t give easy access to every bizarre construction or chunk of senseless jargon that comes whistling down the pike. Never violate a rule of grammar unless you have a good reason, one that improves the writing.
 
But never choose good grammar over good writing. There is nothing virtuous about good grammar that does not work. Your goal is good writing. Good grammar is only one of the tools you use to achieve it.
 
CHAPTER NINE
 
Six Ways to Avoid Punctuation Errors
 
1. Use Orthodox Punctuation
2. Know When to Use a Comma
3. Know When to Use a Semicolon
4. Know When to Use a Colon
5. Use Exclamation Points Only When Exclaiming and Question Marks Only when Asking Questions
6. Know How to Use Quotation Marks
1. Use Orthodox Punctuation
 
Writing is not a visual art, so don’t use punctuation as decoration. Be creative in your writing, not in your punctuation.
 
After writing an exclamation, use only one exclamation point. No! is every bit as effective as
No!!!
 
Avoid using unnecessary quotation marks. Some writers insist on placing quotation marks around slang words:
My “old man” is going to give me some “big bucks.”
If you wish to use slang or idioms, do so, but do so without quotation marks.
 
Avoid using unnecessary dashes and ellipses. Some writers use dashes (——) and ellipses ( ... ) to cover faulty sentence constructions and vague thoughts. Don’t.
 
In the following letter, a young writer uses dashes and elipses the way drunks use whiskey.
 
 
 
Dear Robert,
 
Well ... How are you? I’m okay—I guess ... My mother came to visit last week—you can imagine how much fun that was ... All she did the whole time she was here was search around in my drawers. She was probably looking for drugs ... or something. Anyhow, you get the picture ... God!!! So—not much new to report. Take it easy ... but take it!!!!
 
Love, Betsy
 
2. Know When to Use a Comma
 
Commas are used to add clarity to a sentence. Consider the sentence below:
 
 
She was frightened when he kissed her and fainted.
 
 
 
Without a comma, we don’t know who fainted. Perhaps she fainted when he kissed her. On the other hand, perhaps she became frightened because he fainted during the kiss. Only a comma will give this sentence meaning for us:
 
 
 
She was frightened when he kissed her, and fainted.
 
 
Ah,
she
fainted.
 
When deciding whether a sentence you have written needs a comma, read the sentence out loud. Is a pause needed for clarity? Read the sentence without the pause—quickly, if you’re still not certain. If the sentence makes perfect sense to you read at breakneck speed, banish that comma. In addition to being wrong, overpunctuation is deadly dull. A good piece of advice: When your ear fails you and you can’t decide whether to add that comma, DON’T.
 
Many otherwise good writers use too many commas. I think one of the reasons is because we were half-asleep in grammar classes as children and never bothered to learn the difference between restrictive and nonrestrictive clauses. Unfortunately, while we must have been sleeping when the terms were explained, we learned just enough to get ourselves in trouble.
 
Read the sentences below and see which ones require commas:
1.
My friend Pat goes to law school.
2.
A dance like the limbo requires a broomstick or pole.
3.
Animals that have fur are fun to pet.
4.
Do not use a comma unless a pause is needed for clarity.
 
 
The answer? None of the sentences needs a comma. If you read the sentences out loud, your ears should have told you that pauses were not needed. But if you were once one of those children who slept half the time during grammar classes, you might have decided to add commas because the sentences
looked
a lot like sentences that need commas.
 
Restrictive clauses and words do not require commas. Nonrestrictive words and clauses do. Restrictive elements define and limit a sentence. They must be present for a sentence to retain its intended meaning. Nonrestrictive elements, which are parenthetical, do not.
BOOK: 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing (Mentor Series)
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