#1.5 Finding Autumn (2 page)

Across the room, my eyes settled on a beautiful girl with blonde, curly hair who was undressing me with her crystal blue eyes. She was attractive, and I thought she’d be the perfect distraction for the night. I wasn’t looking to get serious with anyone, but after a month-long sabbatical at home, I wouldn’t mind hooking up with someone new.

Her tank top was plastered to her curvy body and my eyes were drawn to her chest when she rested a plastic cup against her torso. Her breasts were large, and I could make out her nipples pushing against the fabric. My lips curved into a small smile, and I gave her an approving nod. The wicked gleam in her eyes hinted she wouldn’t be opposed to getting screwed senseless for the next couple of hours.

The girl turned to her friend, and when they both looked my way… the room disappeared. As I took in the friend’s unforgettable dark blonde hair and brown eyes, I forgot everything, including the curly-haired girl I’d been fantasizing about bedding seconds earlier. If someone had decided to ask me my name at the moment, I’d likely be stumped—because I was
floored
.

I rubbed at my eyes, wondering if I’d finally cracked enough to start having hallucinations. How could
she
be here? I’d never seen Autumn Dorey in person before, but one look was all it took for me to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she was standing less than twenty feet away.

Autumn met my stare head-on and didn’t flinch. I couldn’t look away, and I wondered what she was thinking. Did she know who I was? I figured she had to. When she destroyed Thomas, didn’t she look into the collateral damage left behind?

She seemed irritated by the way I was gawking at her and spun her head away. After talking to her friend for a couple of minutes, she glided through the crowd and headed to the back door. My feet moved of their own accord and I found myself following her outside.

The screen door slammed behind me, and I watched Autumn jump at the abrasive sound. Spinning to face me, she spilled most of her beer out of the plastic cup in her hand, and it arced directly into me. I could feel the cold seeping through my boots into my socks.

“Damn! You scared me!” Her voice broke the quiet of the back yard, and I started at the sound. It was too surreal to stand in front of Autumn Dorey and hear her say I scared her. My entire focus was on her and I didn’t notice if we were alone in the back yard or not. I couldn’t tear my gaze from her.

I made an offhand comment about drenching my shoes, but it was automatic. I couldn’t actually form coherent thoughts at the moment.

Autumn’s appearance had changed in the years since I last saw photos of her. Most of the pictures had been of Autumn in her high school cheerleading uniform and were overly sexualized versions of the girl before me. A fellow cheerleader from their high school squad had a public Facebook page and used it as a platform to shatter what she claimed was Autumn’s contrived innocent act. As Autumn stood, staring at me with confusion, I ran a greatest hits reel through my head of the pictures I’d seen: Autumn in tiny shorts straddling a boy, Autumn doing body shots off of another girl, Autumn flashing her sheer white bra at the camera. What I hadn’t been expecting was Autumn Dorey in a shapeless black t-shirt and jeans with her hair pulled back in a ponytail.

“Why are you here?” The words were out of my mouth before I could wish them back. Her expression was confused, and I understood in that moment she had no clue who I was. I started feeling a bit of righteous indignation. Cook was supposed to be a neutral place for me to live my life. If Autumn was a student at the college, she was shattering the peace I had held onto here.

Autumn laughed half-heartedly, but I could see by the wariness in her expression I was making her nervous. “What do you mean? In the physical or metaphysical sense? Like why I’m at this party, or why was I ever born?”

“Why are you at this party?” She had unwittingly supplied me with a good cover. “I’ve never seen you at the house before,” I added. I was losing it and had to reel it back in before I had a meltdown. I wasn’t normally such a freak, but it also wasn’t normal to run into the girl who was responsible for my family’s undoing. I had so much I wanted to say to her, but I was too shell-shocked to decide how to handle things.

Autumn obviously decided she wanted a refund on the freak show I had going on and made a move to head back inside. I panicked. I was wasting an opportunity. How many times had I wondered what it would be like to talk to Autumn Dorey? Probably hundreds since Thomas was arrested. Only Autumn and Thomas knew the truth of what happened between them, and I had already heard Thomas’s version of events. What could I learn from her?

“I’m going. Nice meeting you, I guess,” she said, sarcasm coating her words. “I know you didn’t bother asking me my name, but it’s Autumn, by the way.”

“Sorry, I’m being an ass… I’m Blake.”

I watched her to see if I saw any kind of reaction to the reveal of my name. Her face showed nothing. What had she and Thomas talked about during their time together? Had he told her about me? I pictured whispered confidences between her and a man twice her age and my stomach revolted. She looked young to me, barely older than Delia. Autumn had a fresh-faced look to her—pretty, with small, round features and apparently zero makeup on.

“I only meant I would’ve seen you before if you had come by. You’re hard not to notice.” I slipped back into the persona I was most comfortable with. Blake Preston: the carefree guy who could flirt his way into any girl’s panties. I could smile and laugh while feeling absolutely nothing inside.

She wasn’t buying what I was selling, and I didn’t try to stop her when she went to leave again. It was just as well. I needed time to wrap my head around the fact Autumn Dorey was going to my college, and that I had just had the strangest conversation with her.

Meeting her made me want to drink until I was numb. Alcohol had been my way to cope after all the bad shit that went down with Thomas. I instantly resented her for making that craving return—to get fucked up to forget. I wanted to be stronger than that, but I was weak when it mattered.  

Chapter Two

My head was pounding the next morning from a mixture of heavy drinking and sleeplessness. I had drunk myself into oblivion to help me forget all about Autumn and it only made the night a hundred times worse. The rest of the evening was muddled inside my head, but the hazy memories kicked off with me snagging a bottle of rum from the kitchen. I vaguely recalled a redhead dragging me off to one of the bathrooms upstairs and giving me a blow job. I think she tried to hop in the car with Darien to come home with us, but Darien left her at the curb while I slumped, half-comatose, in the passenger’s seat. Whoever she was, she’d be able to add another rumor to the hundreds that seemed to surround me. Not that I cared. It was a dick move to not get her name or number, and I probably deserved a lot worse than being called out on it.

I groaned when I looked at the time. I was taking art history, and I’d be late if I didn’t get my ass out of bed that minute. Registering for an art history class that was held first thing in the morning was probably a fail on my part, since it sounded like a class I’d end up sleeping through. I had to fill an arts general education requirement for graduation, and I was running out of time to get it over with. Unfortunately, the early morning art history class was the only course that worked with my schedule. At least my headache began to weaken after I downed three aspirin and a full bottle of water.

I stopped for a large, black coffee on the way to campus from my apartment and rallied a bit. I drained the cup in three large gulps and felt better after parking my car and heading to the arts building. I made it to class with five minutes to spare and snagged a seat in the far back of the classroom. Cook University was a well-populated school, so I wasn’t overly surprised when I didn’t recognize anyone in the class. I leaned back into my chair and scanned the doorway as more students trickled in.

Laura Wilkens sauntered in and I groaned inwardly. We had hooked up briefly last semester and she turned clingy after only a couple of times together. My flings had given me a reputation around campus and I didn’t bother fighting the labels. It was better that way, because even if I wanted a relationship, I couldn’t have one. My family was a shit show. How could I possibly pull anyone with me into that mess?

But, before Laura spotted me, my eyes locked like magnets on an attractive blonde hurrying through the doorway, and I couldn’t look away. I had no idea what came over me, but I found myself calling out, “Autumn, over here!”

Her brown eyes met mine and recognition dawned in them. She looked cautious as she made her way to where I was sitting, and I didn’t blame her. I sounded crazy—maybe because I was crazy. The smart move would be to vacate the classroom immediately and try to switch courses. Being around Autumn Dorey was a disaster waiting to happen.

My attention was entirely focused on her, and I hadn’t noticed Laura make a beeline for the seat next to mine. She looked pissed when I told her I was saving the seat for Autumn, but directed her dislike by giving Autumn a glare and storming off. For a second, I almost felt guilty before I remembered who was standing next to me.

I couldn’t stop watching her as she removed her notebooks and pencils from a black backpack. She seemed flustered and her unease made me curious about her. She was attractive, but unlike most of the girls I knew, she didn’t seem to make a lot of effort when it came to her appearance. Her hair was thrown up in a clip, and she was swimming in her clothes. Whoever was sitting next to me was nothing like the Autumn Dorey I had heard about.

She caught me staring at her. “So, art history, huh?”

“Yeah, it was either this or Intro to Art, and I suck at drawing. Once I finish this and my philosophy class, I’ll have all the general ed classes I need for graduation.”

“What’s your major?”

“Economics. Once I’m done playing football, I’ll probably go for my MBA.”

But football would never be over for me if it were up to my mom. She wanted me to go pro more than anything in the world. It could happen, but I played for a Division II school. I may have been the shit at Cook, but it didn’t mean crap when it came to the NFL draft. And, to be honest, I had no idea if football was what I wanted for my future. Two years ago, playing for the NFL was all I dreamed about. But playing football was directly tied to my stepfather, and if I wanted to disassociate myself from him, I’d have to consider giving it up.

“Are you any good?” Autumn asked.

I didn’t bother to conceal my surprise. Was she messing with me? She obviously hadn’t recognized me at the party, but I figured once she found out my name, she would have realized who I was. “What? At football?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m guessing you never went to a game then because you wouldn’t be asking that question otherwise.”

Autumn looked taken aback by my answer. My words did sound a little cocksure, but I wasn’t sure how to handle the unique situation I found myself in. Autumn Dorey was the reason behind all my family’s struggles for the past two years. I felt like she was trying to play a game with me, but if she didn’t know I was Thomas Bridges’s stepson, what could be her endgame? She had been a popular cheerleader in high school with a sexual history that could make a porn star blush. Why was she acting like she had no interest in men and football? They were her two known weaknesses.

I managed to clamp down on the dislike I felt toward her, and I shot her a charming smile. “I’m not trying to sound arrogant, but I’m a running back and I’ve scored the most touchdowns for the season. I was featured in the campus newspaper a bunch of times. I was also the MVP of the team. Ringing a bell yet?” I laughed, but it was forced. She didn’t seem to pick up on my playacting and only smiled. She had a beautiful smile, and it was distracting. Her eyes caught the overhead classroom lights, giving them an amber appearance, and her head tilted to the side as she listened to me. I added, a little subdued, “I guess I built myself up in my head. It’s refreshing to be brought down a notch.”

Class started, but I didn’t hear a word the professor said. A syllabus was handed out, and I figured I’d go over it later to find out what I missed. I kept sneaking glances at Autumn and trying to devise a plan on how to handle sharing a class with her. Staying away from her was the smartest thing to do. She was trouble that I definitely didn’t need.

But the temptation was too strong to try and get close to her. Autumn Dorey had the answers I desperately sought. Thomas told me what had happened between them, but she had spun a different story. Maybe she would learn to trust me and open up about what happened during high school—specifically her junior year. It was a long shot, but maybe I could catch her in a lie and exonerate Thomas.

It was a lofty goal, but if I were able to prove her duplicity, things would change for the better. Delia would have her dad back, and my mom would have her husband again to rely on. And, most of all, I wouldn’t always have these small doubts getting in the way of my relationship with Thomas. The truth was I missed my stepdad; and if he were proven innocent, I’d have no qualms about letting him back into my life.

I asked Autumn to breakfast after class and at that point I felt like there was no turning back. She was hesitant, but I could turn on the charm when I wanted to. I was also confident with the way I looked and knew a lot of girls found me attractive. Taking after my late father, I had the same imposing height along with his light brown hair and green eyes. With a demanding training schedule for football, I also kept my body in the best shape possible. 

After a moment, she agreed to join me, and we walked together to the cafeteria. During the walk, I mapped out how I could get close to her and encourage her to tell me about her past. Maybe there was some arrogance behind my actions, but I was raised by two parents who taught me to exploit what gifts I had to the best of my abilities. If I wanted something—I should go after it. And I wanted Autumn’s truth.