18 Truths (36 page)

But I couldn’t fix what I shouldn’t have done, things that would haunt me forever. Everything had changed, and there wasn’t a darn thing I could do about it.

Wetness streamed down my cheek like a waterfall, and I finally felt the courage to let the tears flow free, to feel the loss and heartbreak. The tears weren’t just for not staying true to Nate, but for not staying true to myself. Maybe after I grieved properly, my true self would be waiting on the other side, so that I could come out whole and cleansed again. Maybe God wasn’t through with me yet.

If I kept repeating this mantra over and over again, maybe faith would take hold of me before depression did.

“I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the
Heart’s affection and the truth of the Imagination.”
—John Keats

he dead drop was to take place on Grace’s Limbo plane at Biltmore Estate, the same location where Grace conned her way into a date with Nate. I teleported there and made my way to the Housekeeper’s Suite to drop the CD into a trash can in Mrs. King’s room as instructed.

“Olga? What are you doing here? Have you seen Nate?”

I turned to see Grace coming toward me. Quickly, I jumped in front of her, blocking her path. I didn’t want her anywhere near Sam. “Um, no, Nate isn’t with me. What are you doing here?”

She grimaced. “He sent me a text early this morning, asking me to meet him here at noon.”

“This specific spot?”

Grace nodded.

I took a deep breath, which didn’t help calm my rising panic. I had to get her out of here, and fast. “Ah, I’m just messin’ with you. My brother became suddenly ill, so he sent me here to tell you to go home, and he’ll visit you later.”
Did she buy it?

“Why wouldn’t he just call or text to tell me that himself? The drive out here cost me a lot of gas money.”

Now I definitely felt ill. “Um, because…”
Holy freakin’ crap, please just leave!

“Because,” Sam said, filling the doorway to Mrs. King’s room as he glanced from Grace to me. “She’s lying to you. But first things first, do you have the file, Ms. Worontzoff?”

I swallowed hard. “Sam? What are you doing here?” Even though this was only supposed to be a dead drop, I sensed the lie when I spotted Grace. Still, I needed to buy some time and asking questions was usually how I accomplished that task.

“The terms of our agreement have changed. My boss wants me to bring you and Grace back to our headquarters with the file.”

“Tell your boss he can go screw himself. I did my job, now our business together is done, and there’s no reason to involve Grace.”

Sam shook his head and stared thoughtfully into the distance. “I figured you might say something like that. And the rules of these realms dictate we can’t kidnap spirit guides. They have to come willingly to the dark side. But we can take subjects from Juvie after so many strikes. Which is why, at this very moment, my associate is kidnapping Conner.” He held up his mobile device, a video displaying images of Conner being bound and gagged. “Still want me to deliver that message to my boss?”

Sam blocked all the light coming from the room, so I hoped he couldn’t read the utter terror on my face. “Okay, fine. I’ll come, but leave Grace out of this.”

He sauntered up to Grace and me as if he knew something I didn’t, and I’m sure he knew lots of things I didn’t. Things I didn’t want to know, but was about to find out. “Well, you see, I planned on leaving her alone, because I had to. But now
both
of her spirit guides have come to the dark side, so she belongs to me now, too.”

“Spirit guides?” Grace mumbled. “What—who is this crazy person?”

“I’m your worst nightmare, sweetheart,” Sam answered, gripping both of our arms and blinking us into darkness.

Seconds later, we followed Sam down a long tunnel, where he opened a metal door, then started down an impossible number of stairs.

“Where exactly is your headquarters?” I shivered, trailing my fingers along the cold stone wall to help guide me and Grace, who shuffled beside me in the darkness.

Sam nudged me from behind with a bony finger. “A dungeon. What did you expect for demon headquarters? Cinderella’s castle? Now shut up and walk faster.”

“Well, it’s not like I don’t want to hurry, this place reeks like rotting meat. But it’s kinda hard to move quickly with these ankle chains you’ve shackled us in.”

He didn’t say anything in response, just pushed me farther into the darkness. The chain from my ankle cuffs clanked against each metal step, a reminder that there was no turning back, and no way to get out of this. I had to summon all my courage not to scream. I drew in a deep breath. Saving Conner and Grace was the only thing keeping me together. I couldn’t fail them again.

Both
of her spirit guides… what had Sam meant by that? I wished there was some way I could send a message to Nate or Dr. Judy.

At the bottom of the stairs, Sam took the lead. We followed him through a flickering corridor, wincing as grime-streaked arms reached for us through the steel bars of cells. I didn’t want to look at the faces inside, but I had to find him.

“Where’s Conner? I want to see him to make sure he’s okay. Otherwise, your boss can forget about my cooperation.”

“Why do you think we’re down here, sweetheart?”

He dragged us for another moment, and then stopped in front of a brightly lit lair. Through the bars, I saw Conner huddled in a corner, naked and shaking. Fiery cuts swept across his back.

They’d beaten him because of me. Tears welled in my eyes.

“Conner?”

Conner turned his head, revealing three cuts across his cheek as well. “Olga, don’t do it.” His backside still facing me, he tried to lean on the wall to stand, but didn’t seem to have enough strength. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. “Whatever it is they want from you, Olga, don’t give in. My life isn’t worth it.”

I narrowed my eyes at Sam. “If you hurt him again, I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” A voice spat from behind me, a voice I’d know anywhere.
No, it can’t be.

I glanced over my shoulder and closed my eyes, unable to look at him.

“You’ll kiss him and make him all better? It’s too late for that.” Nate’s voice shook. “Hands up and come with me.”

Turning slowly, I opened my eyes. He held a tranquillizer gun in his hand, the same one issued to us by angel headquarters.

“Nate? What is going on?” Grace shrieked. “Are you part of some satanic cult?”

He inclined his head and turned toward Grace. I could tell from the blank look on his face that his confusion was genuine as to why she was here with me.

“Nate, you don’t want to do this.” My plea was the desperate cry of an insecure spirit guide who didn’t understand what the heck was going on.

He leaned forward, pressing his nose to mine. “You’re right. What I wanted was loyalty from you, but we can’t always get what we want, can we?”

“Well, that’s what The Rolling Stones told us anyway,” Conner answered, his voice hoarse. “Guess they were right.”

“You think you’re funny, Con-ner?”

Conner shrugged. “Olga did, N-ate.” He lifted his finger and pointed at Nate, but looked at me. “This douche bag is your boyfriend?”

“Was,” Nate answered. “And you’ll shut your mouth if you know what’s good for you. Or would you like me to beat you again?”

“Boyfriend?” Grace muttered. “I thought you were her brother? Oh. My. Gosh. You’re part of an incestuous satanic cult! Gross!”

Any other day I would’ve laughed at the absurdity of her conclusion. But all I could do now was suck in a quick gasp of breath, everything hitting me at once. The world seemed to slow down as a million images flooded my mind. Nate—who helped me see the beauty inside myself, who I thought I’d spend eternity with, who pushed me away to protect me, who had always been kind and gentle—Nate, who now had the knowledge of good
and
evil. The shock of realizing he’d beaten Conner, of realizing I’d created a monster, made me want to scream, but what good would screaming do?

A door off to the left caught Nate’s attention. Two demons approached in heavy, deliberate steps, their smiles a flash of black decay. A bloody apron covered the wide girth of one, and he carried an ice pick in his hand. Nate looked at me and Grace, then the demons nearing, then Conner. He trained the tranq gun on me and pulled the trigger, the dart sailing into my neck. My eyes drooped; my limbs felt like they were made out of spaghetti as warmness spread through me, then pain.

Once, when I was five years old, I stuck my finger into an outlet, just out of curiosity. The electricity pulsed through my skin, but the tingling subsided after a few seconds, barely raising an ‘Ow’ out of me. This pain felt three hundred times worse.

Finally, I dropped to the ground, sleepiness washing over me as Nate told the demons he had me. He scooped me up in his arms, our eyes meeting. I wanted to tear him apart, just like he was doing to me, metaphorically. But paralysis made the notion impossible. So I stared at those eyes with all the hatred I could muster, wishing he were dead. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped short.

Then everything went dark.

“I used to believe in forever,
but forever’s too good to be true.”
—Winnie The Pooh