1995 - The UnDutchables (22 page)

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Authors: Colin White,Laurie Boucke

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  1. The Oxford Dictionary, Clarendon Press, 1989, Vol. IV, p. 1140-1141.
  2. The Oxford Reference Dictionary, Clarendon Press, 1986, p. 253.
  3. By permission. From Webster’s Third New International Dictionary © 1986 by Merriam-Webster Inc., publisher of the Merriam-Webster� dictionaries.
  4. Volkskrant, July 1990.
  5. Archaic.
APPENDIX B

A Chosen Selection of Dutch/English Homonyms

Incorrect use of Dutch/English homonyms can have an interesting effect on people. At an informal get-together, one Dutch woman introduced herself to a British woman. When asked about her profession, the Dutch woman calmly replied, ‘
I fuck dogs
.’

Here are some of the more potentially disastrous cases:

 

Dutch—English

Dutch word
Sounds like
Dutch word means
dik
dick
fat, thick
doop
dope
baptize
douche
douche
shower
fiets
feats
bicycle
fok
fuck
breed
heet
hate
to be named
hoor
whore
hear
kaak
cock
jaw
kip
kip
chicken
kont
cunt
buttocks
krap
crap
skint, penniless
kwik
quick
mercury
ledikant
lady can’t
bed
mats
mice
corn
meet
mate
mark, measure
mes
mess
knife
peen
pain
carrot
pieper
peeper
potato
prik
prick
tonic water
reep
rape
rope, line
rente
rent
account, interest
sectie
sexy
section
shag
shag
cigarette tobacco
snoep
snoop
sweets, candy
toneel
toenail
theatre, play
vaart
fart
travel, sail
vlaai
fly
fruit pie, tart
winkel
winkle
shop

 

English—Dutch

English word
Sounds like
Dutch word means
Bic
bik
to screw, fuck
bill
bil
buttock
brill(iant)
bril
glasses, toilet seat
coke
hook
cook
cut
kut
vagina, cunt
dear
dier
animal
dote
dood
dead
flicker
flikker
homosexual, gay
freight
vreet
to eat (of animals)
fry
vrij
free (vulg. fuck)
lull
lul
penis
novel
navel
navel
paper
peper
pepper
peace, piece
pies
piss
pick
pik
penis
pimple
pimpel
boozing
rate
reel
backside, arse
ritz
rits
zipper
slim
slim
clever
slip
slip
underpants
slope
sloop
wreck, pillowcase
Spain
speen
nipple
steak
steek
stab
tipple
tippel
streetwalk (whore)
About The Authors

Cotin White was born in Windsor, England. He has worked extensively in Europe, primarily as a technical writer in the aerospace industry. In 1979 he moved to Holland to assist with the production of aircraft maintenance documentation for the Dutch aircraft manufacturer Fokker. He remained for a total of seven years, residing in Amstel-veen, Amsterdam, Huizen, Hilversum and Loosdrecht. He moved to California in mid 1987 to pursue other interests.

Laurie Boucke
was born in Oakland, California, and studied languages at the University of California in the USA and also at the University of Grenoble in France. She moved frequently throughout western Europe, eastern Europe and the subcontinent of India. She was a resident of the Netherlands for 15 years, living mainly in Amsterdam and Alkmaar. She raised three children in the Dutch environment. Laurie returned to her native California in early 1987.

Since adopting domicile in the CJSA, Colin and Laurie have together founded WHITE-BOUCKE PUBLISHING, a company specializing in industrial and legal documentation. The UnDutchables formed their first foray into the commercial publishing market.

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