Read 1995 - The UnDutchables Online
Authors: Colin White,Laurie Boucke
A Chosen Selection of Dutch/English Homonyms
Incorrect use of Dutch/English homonyms can have an interesting effect on people. At an informal get-together, one Dutch woman introduced herself to a British woman. When asked about her profession, the Dutch woman calmly replied, ‘
I fuck dogs
.’
Here are some of the more potentially disastrous cases:
Dutch—English
Dutch word | Sounds like | Dutch word means |
dik | dick | fat, thick |
doop | dope | baptize |
douche | douche | shower |
fiets | feats | bicycle |
fok | fuck | breed |
heet | hate | to be named |
hoor | whore | hear |
kaak | cock | jaw |
kip | kip | chicken |
kont | cunt | buttocks |
krap | crap | skint, penniless |
kwik | quick | mercury |
ledikant | lady can’t | bed |
mats | mice | corn |
meet | mate | mark, measure |
mes | mess | knife |
peen | pain | carrot |
pieper | peeper | potato |
prik | prick | tonic water |
reep | rape | rope, line |
rente | rent | account, interest |
sectie | sexy | section |
shag | shag | cigarette tobacco |
snoep | snoop | sweets, candy |
toneel | toenail | theatre, play |
vaart | fart | travel, sail |
vlaai | fly | fruit pie, tart |
winkel | winkle | shop |
English—Dutch
English word | Sounds like | Dutch word means |
Bic | bik | to screw, fuck |
bill | bil | buttock |
brill(iant) | bril | glasses, toilet seat |
coke | hook | cook |
cut | kut | vagina, cunt |
dear | dier | animal |
dote | dood | dead |
flicker | flikker | homosexual, gay |
freight | vreet | to eat (of animals) |
fry | vrij | free (vulg. fuck) |
lull | lul | penis |
novel | navel | navel |
paper | peper | pepper |
peace, piece | pies | piss |
pick | pik | penis |
pimple | pimpel | boozing |
rate | reel | backside, arse |
ritz | rits | zipper |
slim | slim | clever |
slip | slip | underpants |
slope | sloop | wreck, pillowcase |
Spain | speen | nipple |
steak | steek | stab |
tipple | tippel | streetwalk (whore) |
Cotin White was born in Windsor, England. He has worked extensively in Europe, primarily as a technical writer in the aerospace industry. In 1979 he moved to Holland to assist with the production of aircraft maintenance documentation for the Dutch aircraft manufacturer Fokker. He remained for a total of seven years, residing in Amstel-veen, Amsterdam, Huizen, Hilversum and Loosdrecht. He moved to California in mid 1987 to pursue other interests.
Laurie Boucke
was born in Oakland, California, and studied languages at the University of California in the USA and also at the University of Grenoble in France. She moved frequently throughout western Europe, eastern Europe and the subcontinent of India. She was a resident of the Netherlands for 15 years, living mainly in Amsterdam and Alkmaar. She raised three children in the Dutch environment. Laurie returned to her native California in early 1987.
Since adopting domicile in the CJSA, Colin and Laurie have together founded WHITE-BOUCKE PUBLISHING, a company specializing in industrial and legal documentation. The UnDutchables formed their first foray into the commercial publishing market.